Honestly…I didn’t care at all about “skin in the game”. Having a job in college gave both of my kids something on their resumes for the future. They both had job experience as well as references from their bosses. To me, that was well worth it.
Neither worked more than 10 hours a week. They found this very manageable. One had an off campus,job,that was totally related to his field of study. The other had a fabulous on campus job.
In terms of expenses, we didn’t think it was unreasonable for them to lay for books as an essential. The rest of their income was for discretionary spending. The nice thing for them was that they learned to budget what they earned with what they could spend on discretionary things. Another well,worth it thing.
I have no idea what they earned or spent. Because it was their earnings, it went int their accounts. Not mine. I will,say…they never asked me for a penny of spending money. I think they knew the answer would be…no.
Believe me, we were not stingy with our kids. They received little cash gifts and gift cards often from us in things like holiday cards (I mean really…Hallmark has a holiday just about every week).
Both also worked summers, and this was the nest egg they took with them each fall.
We also didn’t want our kids working first semester of freshman year…so,for,that term only, we did pay for books. But guess what? They both found very reasonable jobs that fit into their schedules their first term freshman year. DD worked in the call center, and DS worked concessions for a music group he eventually joined as a player.
Our plan…
We cover tuition room board and books because they are covered by 529 so no out of pocket for us.
We gave them 50 bucks a month in hs to cover 1 tank of gas. So that stayed the same and we call it “transportation” money since eldest is in NYC and youngest will probably have a car on campus
I said from the beginning I would not be the money supplier for beer and pizza. Also, I live in a LAC town and would not supply the money for the hair/nails expense that these girls seem to “need” that didn’t seem to be a thing back when.
Eldest has a healthy savings account but works 6 hours a week and stays under budget for weekly spending. Mostly show and sports tickets and lots of food money.
We are paying for his flight for study abroad but won’t pay for social travel like spring break trips
Our plan: Get as much merit/scholarship money as possible!!! DD has saved her babysitting and birthday money over the years and is working at a summer camp this summer. We will continue to pay insurance (health, dental, vision, instrument and dorm), cell phone, gas and car maintenance she will need to use her money for snacks and entertainment, gifts. We will help meet any gap between merit and and tuition/books. She’s really going to try for an RA position her Sophomore year which would cover room and board but we aren’t counting on it.
I’m also looking at what we can do to help her now for the long term. One thing we did was for her graduation gift we gave her a lifetime membership in her instrument’s nation society. It was price but will pay for itself in the long run and she won’t her to remember to renew it every year which is required to get it insured through our prefered musical instrument insurance provider.
For the long term, every year we put the “excess” college funds (the difference between what we would have paid without merit and what we are paying with the merit scholarship) into a couple of different funds for DS. We put $5,500 in a Roth IRA and the rest in mutual funds.
One thing you may want to be generous about is food money.
A meal plan works well mostly for those students whose schedules allow them to be in the dining hall for every meal and whose appetites allow them to stuff themselves to the gills every time. But there are also students who have class schedules or extracurricular activities or jobs that prevent them from getting to the dining hall for some meals, and there are students who cannot stuff themselves enough at mealtime to stave off hunger until the next mealtime. It’s particularly difficult for some people to eat enough at dinner to hold them until breakfast.
When I was a college freshman, I tried to live entirely on the meal plan meals to save money. I couldn’t do it. If I stuffed myself in the dining hall, I got stomachaches. And if I didn’t stuff myself, I got so hungry in the evenings that I couldn’t sleep. So the money from my summer job – which was supposed to be for entertainment and miscellaneous expenses like toiletries – ended up being spent on food instead.
Today, most meal plans include an allowance of some sort of “bucks” that can be used at various snack bars. That’s a help, but your kid may still need extra food money before the semester ends.
I think the reason many parents, including me, leave the books to the students is that it is an easy thing for the student to cover. They are the ones on campus, by the bookstore, knowing what courses actually require books and which just list 20 books which they never use. The first semester freshman year one of my kids asked me to order them online (she was away for the summer) and I ended up paying for them. I thought it was fair as she had a much better scholarship than her sister. After that big first semester ($$$) they’ve learned how to beg, borrow or buy cheap the books they’ve needed. If one didn’t have the money for books, I’d give it to her.
At this point it is really all just ‘family money’ and if I pay for something, they’ll pay for something else. One of my kids is pretty frugal, the other a spendthrift. I’m trying to keep it fair. I’m also trying to teach them a little planning and saving for their money. If they know they have to buy books, they might bypass that Starbucks or Forever 21 purchase. I can hope anyway. I high school I got very tired of constantly being the ATM for $20 for a movie or $15 for pizza. I started giving them $100/mo and I didn’t care what they did with it. If they were at the movies with me, or out shopping, I paid. If they went with their friends, they paid. It worked pretty well.
I reimburse my kids for books, like I stated previously, but they do all the buying. We have a common Amazon Prime account they can use or at the bookstore it just gets charged against their account (any snacks and other things, they are responsible for).
For extras and incidentals, they’ve had an allowance since middle school and a prepaid debit card, now a bank account with credit card attached to it. Money gets deposited at the beginning of the month. When its gone, its gone. Barring a true emergency situation, they know not to ask. We’re probably more generous than many, but both kids have good spending and savings habits, know how to get a deal and how to budget. They’ve always worked summers and at least a 5-10 hours a week during the school year.
Both kids have had a range of friends from across the socio-economic spectrum from full FA kids who can’t afford any extras at all to kids with expensive tastes who are truly given a credit card and carte blanche. I know mine are appreciative of what they have and the fact they aren’t burdened by student loans.
I paid the bill that came from the bursar – I expected my kids to pay for incidentals (anything not billed via the bursar),
So when my D. enrolled in a course that had an extra materials fee, billed via the bursar … I paid. But after the 1st year, when they were no longer required to have a meal plan – we dropped the meal plans and they paid for their own meals as well as everything else. It just was easier that way – I simply paid the bills that came to me and didn’t worry about the rest. When DD went off to college and the cell phone was on a family plan… I kept right on paying the phone bill as well.
It really wasn’t a matter of attaching some sort of judgement as to the validity of importance of any particular expense. The bursar bill was also paid “down” by the student loans my kids took as well as their college grants. It was just a matter of a fair and workable division between parent and offspring. If either kid had run into trouble making ends meet, they could have asked for help at any time. It never happened while they were in school.
I did have to take out loans of my own to put my kids through college, and pretty much spent down all assets I had other than retirement funds (which are no where near what they should be).
I applied for an off campus job and worked during the times that school was in session, I made 9$ an hour and worked 20 ish hours a week. She could look for something with steady hours. I have childcare experience so i applied at a daycare and never worked past 7. Gave me time for homework and going out.
My mom gave me some money for school, the bulk is loans. I paid for gas, books, entertainment , food, clothes, extra activities etc. When I’m home I have a full time/overtime job and save a good amount for the start of the year.
I’ve never taken less than 16 credits and maintain a 3.7/4
I think it depends on the student and ehat they can typically handle.
I felt very strongly that my kids should have the fullest meal plans their colleges offered – that’s one area where it’s not worth scrimping. (One kid went to a college where everyone had the same, full meal plan by default – the other went to a college where there were a bazillion different options. Guess what. You need 3 meals a day and you need some access to food when your schedule doesn’t permit you to eat in your cafeteria. The fullest meal plan it is.)
I covered books, but they did the ordering.
Mine didn’t work and maybe in hindsight they should have, but I wanted them to be able to focus on studies and EC’s and frankly just having fun and hanging out with friends.
We covered tuition, room/board, books, anything else education-related (e.g., a scientific calculator), and Greek life for my one kid who chose to do that. We loaded them up with toiletries so it was rare that they had to buy any. They had an allowance of $200/month and neither of them spent anywhere near that amount. What they did spend it on would be things like one or two casual meals / pizza / etc out a week, snacks, maybe a t-shirt for a club or activity, public transportation to get into the city, etc. If anything, we had to encourage them that it was there for them to enjoy.
I felt like my kids could handle paying for books, and also would make more frugal choices if they were spending their own money on them. It felt like a step toward adulthood got them to own some component of their college expenses. Both had saved some grandparent gifts over the years, worked the summervefore college, and had their graduation gift money. Why should I pay the entire bill when they are capable of carrying some of the responsibility? Both still had/will have a far amount of money in the bank when they graduate from college.
I felt very confident my kids would make frugal choices for books even though it was on my tab. Frankly they’d do a better job searching for deals, etc. than I would have. I have a kid who texts me photos of receipts to show me how much she’s saved It’s both a game and a sickness!
@Pizzagirl -I think whether a full meal plan makes sense depends on the kid and the living situation. Both of mine had full meal plans their first year and reduced (5 meals/week) or no meal plans after that. We gave them money for food. Both of them like to cook their own food and have been in apartments where they could cook meals. It saved us a ton of money.
It depends on the college and the variety of dining facilities that are available there.
If a lot of students at a particular college live off campus, there will be lots of places on that campus where you can buy food for cash. And those places may have more convenient locations and hours than the meal plan dining halls do. Some students may prefer the flexibility of being able to eat where and when they want, rather than being tied to even the most generous meal plan.
Both of my kids went to colleges with plenty of cash dining facilities. If they chose relatively small meal plans (which is what they preferred after the first semester or two), I gave them the difference in cash. For example, if the smaller meal plan was $500 per semester cheaper than the full meal plan, I gave the kid the $500. This seemed to work. In fact, when one kid went off the meal plan completely while still living in the dorms (something that’s permitted at some colleges but not others), I gave her money equivalent to the cost of a full meal plan. I got no complaints.
“I think whether a full meal plan makes sense depends on the kid and the living situation. Both of mine had full meal plans their first year and reduced (5 meals/week) or no meal plans after that. We gave them money for food. Both of them like to cook their own food and have been in apartments where they could cook meals. It saved us a ton of money.”
I’m glad it worked out. Neither of my kids were in apartments. (One kid was at a college where nearly everyone lives on campus every 4 years and apartment living was quite rare. The other was at a college where people did live off-campus in apartments.) They would have had to have done a lot of convincing for us to have wanted them to get an apartment. They have the rest of their lives to cook and clean; we wanted them to have plans where the cooking was already done for them and where they could socialize with a larger group of people at dinner than whoever was in their apartment. But that’s just our personal preference.
Everyone’s situation seems so different. Until my daughter finishes high school next year we’re a one income homeschool family. My son commutes to a local state school so we bought him a nice used car. We pay ~$10k/year from our ~$60k/year (current) earnings and savings. He works during the summer for gas and spending money, but we cover everything else. We keep him on our health insurance and pay for car insurance and upkeep, tuition, fees, books, clothes, and phone. We also give him an allowance of $80/month.
I don’t want my kids to have to work in college. Working a summer job because they want to (for experience and/or extra spending money) will allow them to enjoy the school year and give them an opportunity to develop friendships and network. I always had to work full-time when I was in college so I missed out on a lot of opportunities. I want their experience to be different.
I think it makes a difference that we chose a school where the costs were manageable enough (without loans) that we have the flexibility to cover most college related expenses and still pay for our daughter’s sports fees, travel expenses and admission fees for homeschool programs, and allowance. Families who max out their budgets to cover direct costs would probably have to develop a different plan.
If your kid goes to a college where on-campus housing is not guaranteed for upperclassmen and where all the apartments within walking distance of campus are rented for the following school year months before the dorm lottery takes place, it takes no convincing at all.
Of course, it’s good to know that this is the housing situation at a college before your child even applies to the school. For some people, it could be a dealbreaker. For my two kids, both of whom attended colleges where on-campus housing is not guaranteed for all four years, moving off-campus was something they wanted and looked forward to. And I don’t think either of them ever cooked (neither had a car, and neither had a supermarket within walking distance). They ate in campus facilities or got takeout. It’s amazing how many different kinds of food you can get delivered to your apartment in a college town (and how late at night you can get it delivered). My kids would come home and be appalled that there was no way to get Thai food or calzones delivered late at night in our dull suburban community.
In college, my WS was two years at Phonathon and one year in the budget office. (freshman year there was a hiccup in FA so I didn’t qualify in time). Loved the first year at phonathon. I was great. I could talk anyone out of their money. I must have burned out because I hated it second year. Ended up as a shift manager/processor so I didn’t have to talk on the phone any more. (great benefit both years was being able to call home for free 2x a week - albeit briefly. I also kept touch with friends, siblings, etc… briefly) The budget office job was the best. What little work I was required to do could be done in an hour, leaving me with 7 hours of study. H commuted to his school. His WS was with the maintenance department and he washed windows. All 242 of them. I guess he did other stuff but that is all he talks about.
From friends of mine who worked in the dining hall, many of them also worked campus catering. THAT was where the money was. Bartending. Tips. Left over food. Access to alumni. These folks have gone on to all kinds of success. At the time, they did all kinds of ECs in addition to their WS.
Of course YMMV. I worked every summer and paid for my meal plan, books, and incidentals. H covered all of his education and commuting expenses. I hated having to contact my parents for money. Too many questions. I didn’t want to have to explain anything.
For kids, we cover most of the incidentals. D paid for her books and computer altho we were more than willing. We ended up sending her money on a regular basis, so it kind of worked out the same in the end. (Altho she insists she did it on her own). S is more than willing for us to pay for whatever we want. He is quite miserly with his funds. It will be interesting to see how he spends his money in the years to come.
My kids had a full meal plan. But they also had a fridge and a microwave…and quite frankly it was cheaper (plus they made healthy choices) for them to buy snacks than to eat snacks at some paid place. Plus, we stocked them up pretty well when we could…and sent gift cards to the grocery store. They had things like yogurt, cheese, crackers, fruit.
DS’s college allowed them to take a piece of fruit with them from the dining hall.
Both schools had study hours dining times in the dining halls too. And both schools had a plentiful amount of choices…both on and off campus…for food points.
“If your kid goes to a college where on-campus housing is not guaranteed for upperclassmen and where all the apartments within walking distance of campus are rented for the following school year months before the dorm lottery takes place, it takes no convincing at all.”
Of course. For us, this was an important criteria - the ability to stay on campus for 4 years. For other people, of course, it isn’t, and their kids are happy to move off campus and they’re fully supportive of apartment living. I’m not suggesting my way is better – that’s just what was important to us. Everyone’s mileage varies on this dimension.
We’re probably more generous than many, but both kids have good spending and savings habits, know how to get a deal and how to budget. They’ve always worked summers and at least a 5-10 hours a week during the school year.