We paid all billable expenses (less federal student loans and of course grants). The kids stayed on our phone plans. We bought them some clothes (not much) and stocked up their toiletries during Christmas and summer breaks. We paid for travel home when it was for a family event, holidays, ends of semesters, etc. Other times they were on their own. They were expected to pay their day-to-day expenses and entertainment.
S1 held an on-campus job from the first week of Freshman year, right through to graduation. He worked perhaps too much senior year; I had no idea he was putting in 20 hours per week. But his grades were fine and his student employment helped him land an internship the summer after junior year, which contributed to landing a great job offer in the fall of senior year. We shared the expense of textbooks, though we had no formal agreement. I actually remember giving him an expensive textbook for Christmas one year. sigh
D1 did not have a job for most of her Freshman year. She had trouble finding one on campus because she didn’t have work study in her FA package (because of how her outside scholarships were applied). Fortunately, she had money saved from the summer to cover her expenses/entertainment. She also worked whenever she was home for holidays, even if only for a few days. She went on to eventually having 3-4 on-campus jobs - writing center tutor, student assistant in an administrative office, student leader in a peer leadership program (which paid a few hours per week), and for junior and senior year an RA. She had to give up her admin job when she was an RA. She loved her jobs! They helped her feel grounded and kept her focuses and organized. We shared the expense of textbooks, though we had no formal agreement. We would treat her to some grocery shopping or a haircut - that type of thing - during Parents Weekend, etc.
D2 is going into her sophomore year. She did not have a job during school last year but had saved enough money from the summer to get her through. This is a sore subject for us because I feel an on-campus job provides a lot more benefit than just money. Her work study award this year is $2500 and I feel she should make some effort to do her share. She does have a really intense extracurricular that she’s involved in, but I’m still pushing for her to get a job 5-10 hrs/wk this year. We pay her books for the following semester if she makes Dean’s List. It’s a fun little carrot to dangle - she’s certainly capable, but she could be lazy if unmotivated.
A few things we found out during the first year that D has been at school:
- If the choice is between breakfast and an extra 15 minutes of sleep in the morning, D will choose sleep. No need for a 21-meal @ week plan for our girl.
- “Declining dollars” are designed in a way that seems to encourage over-purchasing. Many, many kids wind up dumping their dollars at the end of the semester. Campus organizations realize that, too, witnessed by the plethora of fundraising drives that involve ways for students to unload their unused declining by donating them. If you invest in declining, get less than you think you might need.
- There are lots of work study options out there that do not require a set commitment of hours or a schedule. D got paid for taking notes in a class she was enrolled in, for posting fliers, and for working as a precollege counselor during the summer session. (That being said, I LOVED my job working in the library when I was an undergraduate—working the circulation desk on a Friday night was like being paid for studying!)
- Off-campus housing is not always the cheaper alternative, especially if living off-campus necessitates having a car. (Auto insurance and parking alone at D’s school would add substantially to her college costs.)
@Pizzagirl -That is exactly why I said it depends on the kid and the living situation. Ours really wanted to be in apartments and cook for themselves. It is what they prefer. The fact that it was less expensive than the dorms was a bonus for us. If you had asked me when they were younger what I wanted I would have agreed with you 100% that I wanted them to focus on school and not have to cook and clean. The thing is that they were/are happier in their own apartment because they like to cook and they really like being able to pick out their own food.
I think that people shouldn’t make decisions ahead of time and just see what happens as school unfolds. Different kids, schools, and locations work out differently.
Our Son is starting his Junior year. We pay tuition and room/board. We had him cover his personal expenses and his books his Freshman year. His Sophomore year he moved off campus. I paid his rent and I reimburse him for his food expenses. He didn’t want a Food Plan last year and really took to cooking “real food” with a roommate. My son can be “frugal” and I didn’t want him skimping on eating well so I continue reimbursing him for food expenses every few months. He eats well and it is less than a Food Plan. He is good about keeping track and I will make a transfer to his account every few months. I have him still pay for books and the utilities on his apartment. We pay for flights back and forth to school. He earns plenty during his summer internships so he doesn’t need to work during the school year. He is busy with classes and many clubs and community services activities. We do continue to have him pay for his books as well…he understands that this is a very small part of the cost of sending him to school and that he is very fortunate that he will graduate debt free.