<p>Outrage</a>, remorse after Rutgers student's death - Yahoo! News</p>
<p>Discuss away. I hope this doesn't happen too often at Rutgers. Rip Clementi</p>
<p>This story sadden me. I wish he hadn’t resorted to suicide. I really wish he hadn’t </p>
<p>It can’t happen again. It shouldn’t happen again. People need to learn to have respect for others and not humiliate them just to feel better about yourself :(</p>
<p>This was the second suicide of a Rutgers student within this year. Last semester, a freshman at Demarest Hall killed himself. I didn’t know him personally (but he was in marching band with me) and I still don’t know the circumstances surrounding why he took his life. Oh how I got chills when I read our director’s email that Friday morning. :(</p>
<p>In regards to this recent suicide, I just wished that Clementi didn’t take his life. I was reading some articles today where they stated that he posted on a message board for homosexual boys in regards to the incident(s). He stated: “as much as i would love to pour pink paint over all [my roommate’s] stuff. . . that would just let him win”</p>
<p>When you took your life, you did let him win.</p>
<p>As a parent of teenagers who are considering applying to Rutgers, I am closely watching to see how the university handles this situation. The heinous behavior that led Tyler Clementi to take his life is clearly in violation of the school’s code of conduct. Those two students should be expelled.</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1006047-rutgers-student-commits-suicide-after-roomate-friend-tape-expose-him.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1006047-rutgers-student-commits-suicide-after-roomate-friend-tape-expose-him.html</a></p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1005804-bad-solution-roommate-sexile-situation.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1005804-bad-solution-roommate-sexile-situation.html</a></p>
<p>The rest of the participants should be arrested too. This is too unfair for Molly, who only watched it.
I am sure we would do the same thing - don’t tell me you wouldn’t because that makes you a hypocrite.</p>
<p>my friend went to school with the guy. i was so shocked and sad when i learned that something like this would happen at RUTGERS of all places. the two people who were convicted are minorities, you’d think they would have some higher level of tolerance…</p>
<p>Rutgers student here, and maybe I’m in the minority here, especially reading the Targum and seeing the events on campus (etc…) but I think it’s overblown to charge the two kids of murder or even hate crime. All the evidence is not even out there, we don’t know what truely happened, so many different stories.</p>
<p>Unfortunate incident, unfortunate the kid killed himself, but there is no evidence outside of the invasion of privacy.</p>
<p>What I want to read/find out is the other man in the room, from what I read he was an “older” man. Do not know if “older” meant a student in his senior year or perhaps a middle aged man. I’m sure if it was the latter, that would cause some problems with a 18 year old kid…though I am not excusing his actions. Maybe the communication between them wasn’t great, could have been avoided…</p>
<p>18 year old =/= kid. Just sayin…</p>
<p>It’s messed up what they did, but he still shouldn’t have killed himself. I think they should just be charged with the invasion of privacy. It was messed up, but they aren’t murderers like some people are claiming. All they did was invade his privacy, he was the one who killed himself.</p>
<p>Molly is every bit as guilty as Dharun. They didn’t broadcast Tyler’s private life just once. Rather, they conspired to keep rebroadcasting it, tweeting about it, sending out other updates to friends, etc. They made a spectacle of Tyler’s private life very deliberately and concertedly. </p>
<p>And to the poster who said that we shouldn’t judge Molly because we would’ve done the same? Well, I think that’s true for a very small percentage of people. The rest of us aren’t as morally vacuous as she is and, perhaps, you are.</p>
<p>@ Ziggy90, I do understand what you are saying- “they are kids, who were just playing an innocent joke on his roomate, now they are paying a high price for this”. Right? Well, your wrong! These two individuals are 18 years old-adults. Mind you, they were also part of the honors program, ok? They are smart enouph and old enouph to understand that bullying is wrong! How dare they invade him and post his intimate life online. Like seriosly, would you like that be done to you? I would not think so. There for, they should be charged with any possible charge, that they can be prossecuted for. Your right, they physically did not kill the young man-but they slowly drove him to his own death.</p>
<p>I’m saying they should be punished but let’s not go overboard because the kid killed himself. It should only matter what they did nit what the outcome was. It shouldn’t be any different than if he didn’t jump off a bridge.</p>
<p>It wasn’t an innocent joke it was messed up, but they didn’t kill him so don’t give them some ridiculous sentence like 5-10 years in jail.</p>
<p>I personally think they shouldn’t be charged for the suicide unless they have evidence that prove that the intention was because the kid was gay.</p>
<p>What they should do is get the 5 years for the privacy invasions, and then let them spend a long period of time with volunteering groups that involve working with LGBT youth who have been abandoned by their families or just any LGBT groups in general. And also groups for kids who are or were suicidal. Give them a lesson in tolerance since they failed to get one before.</p>
<p>I think bullies should always be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. </p>
<p>It isn’t as much about Tyler being gay, as much as it is about his being bullied.</p>
<p>What about the responsibility of the Resident Advisor in his dorm?<br>
What about the responsibility of Rutgers? </p>
<p>Clementi wrote on a blog before his death…“oh yah, on the school website it says recording people where there is an expectation of privacy (bathroom bedroom etc) without the consent of everyone involved could….COULD……result in being expelled” </p>
<p>Good Question, why is there the word “COULD” in this statement by Rutgers? </p>
<p>Are there certain VIP studens who attend this school and these rules don’t apply to them? </p>
<p>Maybe Rutgers should be held partially responsible since they did not transfer him to another room as requested and does not take a strong enough stand to protect people whose privacy is invaded. </p>
<p>Also, Clementi wrote on the blog that he notified the resident advisor and two of the RA’s superiors about the webcam incident and asked for a room change. </p>
<p>Why weren’t Molly Wei and Darhum notified by the RAs at that time and told about the privacy expectation at the university or even more so, the New Jersey Laws. Most states (if not all) have privacy laws that protect people from being recorded in bathrooms and bedrooms.</p>
<p><a href=“SORRY%20THAT%20THIS%20IS%20LONG,%20BUT%20I%20FELT%20I%20NEEDED%20TO%20SHARE%20MY%20EXPERIENCE%20WITH%20RUTGERS%20HOUSING”>B</a>**</p>
<p>They don’t take things seriously over there, especially the secretaries who you have to go through in order to meet with the head in charge to request a room switch. Last semester, I had an incident that involved a roommate who thought it was acceptable to bring over her “friend” to basically live there for a week and a half in our dorm. The roommate was a transfer student and a replacement for my other roommate who left to study abroad for the Spring.</p>
<p>She brought over her friend one night and without notifying me let the girl spend the night in the room. I fell asleep when they left the room around 10 and thought the friend was just visiting for the evening. They came back at 3am, I was partially awake, and realized that the girl was going to stay over when I saw them get into bed with one another and getting intimate. The girl stayed there for another day but left before 9pm. I didn’t make a big deal about it because I figured, okay, she only stayed for one night. I didn’t get a chance to talk to my roommate about the situation because I left the next day early to go home for the weekend.</p>
<p>When I returned the following week on Tuesday I noticed the guest was back. It was difficult for me to confront the roommate and her friend about how I felt because her friend was a “threat”. Let’s just say that the guest was a “street” person who had a violent nature to her, which I definitely did not want to encounter. The guest had threatened to beat the crap out of a guy who lived on our floor. The guest also enjoyed watching videos of girls beating each other up on the internet. The guest also got into arguments with my roommate, which almost escalated to violence at one point.</p>
<p>I attempted to notify my RA about this situation and he was barely there. When I did get him, he told me filling out a roommate contract would solve the problem. I was able to get in contact with an RA on another floor and she was understanding and suggested I met with housing because in honesty, I felt uncomfortable with the guest, but I didn’t know how to approach my roommate about it because my roommate and I were never alone to discuss it. I didn’t want to tell my roommate that I didn’t want the guest there anymore when the guest was ALWAYS there in the room. And it was a difficult time for me in terms of focusing in school. I was doing poorly and was stressed out. The situation also coincided with two midterms that I was studying for and I was going through a bit of a depression.</p>
<p>When I met with housing, I basically felt they were ridiculing me and making the situation I was having seem minimal. My father came in to try and straighten everything out. The coordinator suggested that I fill out the contract. I still didn’t think that was enough simply because the guest was still living there. The guest stayed there the whole weekend and was there when I returned back to school on a Tuesday. BOTH my parents decided to come in to meet with housing this time at 8am, and when they arrived there they noticed the secretaries whispering “Oh, it is her again. Looks like she bought the mom”. They acted pretty condescending and had a smug look on their faces when talking to us.</p>
<p>It took my mother to cause a scene in order to allow us to meet with the assistant director. But even at that moment, they told us that we would have to wait until 11am to meet with the director, probably hoping that we would just give up and go away. We stayed in the car for 3 hours and went in ten to 11.</p>
<p>My mother and I finally met with the assistant director and she was able to find vacancy in another dorm for me. This was the week before spring break, so I was able to move in the day after we returned. I remained in the dorm for the last two days that week. It seemed like the guest disappeared by Wednesday morning when I returned back to the room the next day.</p>
<p>I do applaud the assistant director because she helped me out to ensure that I got a room/dorm switch. But for the other people I had to go through just to meet with her, it felt like I was pulling teeth. I felt like they SAW me as being sensitive because I didn’t take the initiative to kick the guest out of the room myself. If only they knew the type of person I was dealing with. In addition, I am not ashamed to say that I am an introvert and kept to myself very often, so for me, fighting or confronting the roommate and her guest was difficult for me to even attempt to do.</p>
<p>The day I was moving out I told my roommate how I finally felt since the girl wasn’t there. I had to lie to her saying that I was moving out to another dorm as a part of a learning community program I was getting involved with in the fall. I think she knew the real reason afterward.</p>
<p>Sorry this was long, to anyone who actually read this, but this is what I had to endure just to get a room switch here at Rutgers. From reports, it seemed like Tyler only notified the RA that morning and then took his life later that evening, so I don’t know how far he got in taking the steps to get a room switch. But if he experienced anything with housing or the RA like I did, I wouldn’t be surprised. And in this case, I would blame Rutgers.</p>
<p>Not all of the facts are out there, and the things being reported by the media are not 100% accurate. I would hold off on judgment until the case is clear - they are accused of this crime, not convicted. It would do to remember that they are innocent until proven guilty. </p>
<p>I have heard many stories from people who lived in the dorm that are contrary to what the media is reporting. That is why its an ongoing investigation and not as clear cut as the slanderers on this board would like to lead us to believe.</p>
<p>yes let the facts be known fully (not just media) and also let the charges not be overblown i.e. charge the kids for murder. HE committed suicide on his own. ALso a good post on the RA situation at Rutgers.</p>
<p>Maybe they do need to be sentenced 5-10 years. It can set an example to other people that have the same needs those kids had-the need to BULLY. But, you’ll have your opinion and I’ll have mine, after all it is not up to us to decide wants going to happen next.</p>