<p>Daughter is looking at an combination of DIII and smaller DI schools and has been invited back for an overnight at each. She has done one so far and we are trying to determine what other invitations to accept. The issue is, she'd rather not go. She's a fairly shy kid who doesn't really enjoy hanging out and making conversation with a bunch of people she doesn't know. </p>
<p>I think this is part of growing up and good practice for college, plus will give her a sense of the real atmosphere of the school, team members, etc. However, I also see the potential for a kid forming opinions based on somewhat meaningless factors--a lack of connection with the host, the activities planned, etc. </p>
<p>And I assume one must attend a D1 official visit to stay in consideration?</p>
<p>If your daughter doesn’t enjoy the overnights, I would only have her go to her top 2 or 3 schools. These visits can be very stressful for kids, especially one who is a bit shy. I would worry that it would affect her schoolwork if she is stressing out about overnights.</p>
<p>“attend a D1 official visit to stay in consideration?”</p>
<p>no, you can still be recruited and signed without going on an OV. My daughter “kind of” did it that way. It all depends on your athlete and situation. Also, from watching my d’s experience last year, D1 coaches called and tried to “close the deal” over the phone with her. So going in person was not a requirement for those coaches.</p>
<p>My d went on OV’s to have fun and have the experience of being jetted around the country and “wined and dined” But if your athlete doesn’t like that then I wouldn’t force her. Instead maybe phone calls and a day visit with just the coach might be the way to go.</p>
<p>She should have fun through this process, so whatever approach is “fun” for her would be the way I’d go.</p>
<p>^^ great advice from fishymom and pacheight - narrow it down to her very top choices, and look into day trips, maybe staying through dinner, but skipping the actual overnight part if she is not comfortable with that. These visits are really valuable though, and she will see/pick up on a lot of things that she might otherwise not be aware of. I would recommend finding a way where she could make the visit without compromising too much of her comfort zone. Good luck with it all!</p>
<p>mamster, I was concerned by your comment that your daughter isn’t comfortable enough talking to new people (who she knows already have at least one thing in common with her) on an OV - how do you feel she will handle the transition to college when the time comes?</p>
<p>A recruited athlete has a lot more issues to consider than a regular admit - being on a team means even less opportunity to socialize and meet non-team people during the season; having to be an expert time manager to juggle school and practice and travel meets; meeting academic expectations; and needing to develop good relationships with professors and with at least one student per class who will share notes for travel meet days missed, etc. </p>
<p>And just like dorm mates and classmates, team members will not all be friends (or even friendly, sometimes). She should use every opportunity to get a really good feel for the team and campus life - overnight visits definitely helped our DD ferret out issues that could have been very “unpleasant surprises” after she signed.</p>
<p>Actually, I think having a connection to a team will make the transition much easier for her, and that she’ll be fine.</p>
<p>It’s one thing to be new and make friends when everyone is new (i.e. the whole freshman class) and quite another the be on your own visiting where you don’t know anyone. I actually think she’ll enjoy it more when she goes on visits where a whole group is brought it at once.</p>
<p>mamster, I think you make a good point. The whirlwind of visits and meeting new people who you may never see again isn’t my idea of fun. Maybe a way to get the information your daughter wants, to assess the schools and teams, would be to ask the coach if he can give her the email address of someone on the team she could ask questions of. She could also connect through facebook, etc. A glimpse of an athlete’s life that way might help her see enough of each school and team to help her form an impression of the school without the visit. That way she’d also have a friend on the team when the time comes to visit or commit.</p>
<p>At my daughter’s DI school, the OV is extremely important. The team members all have input as to whether the recruit will mesh well with the team. The recruit might be very talented, but team chemistry is a priority.</p>
<p>A teammate of my son’s fell in love with a school and was also recruited to play there. How exciting, right? Well, he went on the overnight and learned that the team does NOT have a good reputation on campus, and in fact he felt that the student body actually despised the team. An interesting experience that he would not have had if he had not gone on an OV. He ended up choosing another school and is very happy there.</p>
<p>I am concerned that she wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to meet and stay with the kids on the team. It is very important to most schools. They are looking to get to know your daughter personally and not just see her scores, grades, etc. By the same token, it is HER chance to meet the current team members and perhaps the coach. Our daughter did several sleepovers and although she didn’t expect a party at each, she learned quite alot about the school, and what it’s really like to be on their team! </p>
<p>Try to get her to walk thru verbally all the possible scenarios…not all are going to go as well as others…but she will get to stay in a dorm, walk around, share a meal and talk to girls who are on the team…present the opportunity as “a chance for her to test out the school and be more comfortable if she does choose to go there.” At this point she needs to work at separation issues and build up her confidence. She’ll get the hang of it, and who knows, might find the perfect fit and have several new friends!</p>
<p>One thing I have noticed now that my daughter is back from her first OV, something I hadn’t thought about is the ‘human factor.’ She’s finding this to be hard, a not-anticipated angle. She really liked the girls who hosted her. They and some of the other recruits are now her Facebook friends. And so is the girl who is to be her next host at the next school. So she has posts on her wall from one school saying, thanks for coming hope you had fun, and then the very next one says, get excited for this weekend, can’t wait to have you. </p>
<p>Obviously she can only pick one of the schools and she feels badly about having to ‘reject’ some of the girls now too, along with the team. (I know they will get over it, but it’s just something to consider … she is basically looking at smaller schools, so the teams are not huge and impersonal). Just one more aspect of the game.</p>
But if your athlete doesn’t like that then I wouldn’t force her. Instead maybe phone calls and a day visit with just the coach might be the way to go.</p>