The political thread has been closed. But, the politics of certain moderators so heavily influenced their decisions (no debate, off topic, tangent, or simply ‘CLOSED’ but only for subjects with which they disagreed, or did not like the way the thread was leaning) it became apparent the ‘politics off limit’ rule only applied to lower level posters.
There is also a clear hierarchy of posters and who is allowed to say what. Some people have turned CC into a diary. Some posters are treated with such deference that it harkens back to the ‘cool kids’ table in the high school cafeteria.
I too would rather come here and get news from “friends” and find there to be a lot of value on the Parent Cafe. When my mom was dying this as one of the few places I could be totally honest about what was happening and my feelings. Without judgement because people here don’t know me IRL (although there are many of you that I wish I did). The support I got here was tremendous.
I continued to post here after my daughter graduated because a close friend was one of those kids shut out of all the schools he applied to but the safety that the GC made him apply to. I thought it was worth being able to stress to bright kids that they all needed safeties and I posted often about that in the beginning and to share what worked for us in the journey.
Now I mostly stay in the Parent Forum, the Purdue Forum where D goes, and the Cornell Forum where I went to school and still do CAAAN meetings. I still contribute where I can in other forums if something comes up but I will be honest that if the Parent Cafe went away, I would stop coming here.
The Parents Cafe was created so that topics other than college could be discussed. Look at all the things on there in addition to Covid 19. Recipes, good buys, vacation tips, weather alerts, the bragging thread, etc and so many more. None are related to college and that was the whole point of creating the Parent Cafe subforum.
I think its important to recognize that the Parent Cafe is not about college. It’s about the other things in our lives that we want to share with others. And it’s valuable.
There are folks who have continued to post in the Cafe long after their kids finished college, or long after they stopped posting elsewhere in this forum…because of the community.
Fair questions. A good deal of the problem is that when there are a lot of people interacting with each other in chaotic ways, it is hard to identify which poster need to take a break and which ones are just sorta in the wrong place at the wrong time. (There’s a really [interesting article about artificial societies](Seeing Around Corners - The Atlantic) that helped me understand this dynamic.) Smaller threads make that a lot easier on moderators.
I’m coming around to an idea of setting up a subforum for COVID threads and shutting it down when:
[list]
[] this pandemic has passed or
[] it gets out of control from a moderation perspective. /list
Regardless of what we do with the topic and for future topics that might come up, we’re not going to have completely unmoderated threads. Exactly what we can allow and what should be prohibited is up for discussion. Historically, the closer we get to politics, the more combative the site becomes.
I agree with an awful lot of what others have posted so far, but I have a question about the concept of a “COVID-only” subforum. I think I would be okay with it, if it were just to discuss COVID-specific questions - Where are you able to get testing? Is your family affected? How is the “curve” looking in your area? What are the latest CDC guidelines?.. that kind of thing.
But there are a whole host of other questions that are not exactly “about” COVID, but they probably never would have come up if it weren’t for COVID. I really think those should stay in the appropriate area - “are you sewing masks?” in the Parent Cafe , “did your kid get a refund for room&board?” in Parents, “what schools have good virtual tours?” or “what schools are extending deadlines?” in the appropriate admissions/acceptances areas. I do hope that if there is a separate COVID subforum, it doesn’t mean that we can’t talk about any repercussions of it in other areas where it is such a huge factor looming over practically every other discussion.
This is the million dollar question. What does this mean exactly? How is this decided exactly? Does moderation need to be altered and how? And related, why are arbitrary restrictions being put on certain threads? Ex: not talking about mask effectiveness in a thread on masks. What does that have to do with TOS?
Where to put COVID threads is pretty meaningless to me. I don’t really care personally. I interact with CC via latest posts as website changes make other means of navigation difficult.
I agree. Let’s be honest - COVID permeates life right now and factors into all kinds of discussions. I was catching up with a friend via phone today. You can’t do that without having COVID enter the discussion, even if you try. If you want to ask how someone’s kid is doing, for example, it is currently relevant and becomes part of the conversation. It is what it is. Creating a separate sub-forum won’t change that IMO.
Those of us involved in college confidential since its beginnings pre-2004, have watched it evolve from a simple college advice message board to something very different.
Some of the mega threads on campus issues, such as campus rape, contained really important, thoughtful discussion useful to those participating and those lurking. Like the recent Covid thread, there was curated news reporting and discussion from posters (some experts in relevant fields) that went on for more than a year. I woke up in the morning and read the posts from a couple of overseas expats. We had parallel book discussion threads at the time that were offshoots of that thread. There was so much useful information. I haven’t seen many similar threads in recent years. It may not be the sort of thing that is wanted on CC any longer, but I think it was a societal good.
There have been threads about alcohol abuse and alcohol education, after a very tragic incident.
We’ve had threads written by the terminally ill.
I believe those threads served a higher good as well.
Once, a very long time ago, I was on a rather silly thread in the middle of the night when a poster suddenly seemed suicidal and another poster (again someone seemingly with expertise) appeared to intervene and take the discussion to PM. At least that was my impression.
The parent cafe is an important social activity for some of us. It’s a place we can hang out with others on-line, some of whom we’ve been hanging out with for more than a decade. During this time of national stress, I’m sure it’s a great comfort and support for some participants.
Does CC have to provide us a place to hang out? I guess not. Is there anything in it for them? Probably not really. But it would seem generous not to kick us out till at least the pandemic is over.
I’m new to CC… found it a couple months ago during the college process for my second.
From this thread it sounds like you prefer a forum that is solely focused on college subjects (or perhaps, is it college subjects, and any others without strong opinions and discussions?). I’m really surprised by this because it would result in less involvement from some highly knowledgeable people… and new members will leave once the college decision has been made. I truly would expect you’d want more (and more and more) traffic to the site, more word getting out about CC, more great advice… and the circle continues.
And I too thought doschicos’ Covid thread was extremely helpful. It was surprising to me when it was stopped.
Still, the mission needs to come first. Ideally the Parents Cafe could continue to operate as it has without me (or moderators) stepping in. But the last month or so has been stressful for everyone. I don’t want to see people leave because of over-moderation, but I also don’t want people to leave because of under moderation either. Somehow these threads have prompted both points of view. I’d like to consider the possibility that it isn’t the moderators or the posters who are making that happen. But rather the combination of worldwide stress and threads that are just too huge to read.
Since the reformatting of the site I’ve never really been aware of what section a discussion might be in. I usually search by a specific term, school name for example, or look through the latest posts. I’ve found this place tremendously helpful and welcoming.
HI @deb922 ! Sorry to be dense, but I don’t know how I’ve hurt your feelings. I’m not saying I haven’t, but I don’t know what particular thing(s) I said that hurt. Help?
I get the stress part but not the “too huge” part. Not sure this affects the end user experience. Maybe it is different through your eyes as someone more focused on website “nuts and bolts”. Please explain.
Aren’t long threads by definition “successful” and of interest to posters? Otherwise they wouldn’t be long. Seems like a contradiction.
I also wish we could reverse it. @compmom . If I’d been around when the site was changed, I would have raised a fuss. It’s quite unusable to me.
It’s starting to dawn on me that the reason y’all want to put all of this information in one giant thread is that works around the failures in the current site design. I guess what I’m trying to do here is find some ways to have that conversation without putting it in a huge thread that’s difficult to moderate. We can’t fix the site (yet) but I think we can find other solutions.
One thread makes sense because it is a topic that is in flux and changing daily. Who wants to decide among dozens of threads which one to post in? Not me unless it is a very specific topic, ex: masks. Much of the desired discussion doesn’t fit a specific thread. Since the COVID story is still very much unfolding, what one wishes to post tomorrow or next week might not be relevant to any specific thread other than a general discussion thread.
That, IMO, has less to do with the site design and more to do with how human brains and needs work.
I 100% support having a place for people to hang out with each other. I even think the Parents Cafe is a helpful for that reason. I certainly am not looking to kick people out. My goal in this thread is to work out how we can continue to support this activity without it becoming a burden for the moderators.
Just to everyone in general: I’m trying to read everyone’s response and give my feedback as I think it will help the conversation. I’m a little worn out at the moment and I worry I’ll get too snippy if I keep replying. I’ll come back tomorrow read through what y’all have written.
I think we can meet most, if not all, of the needs that have been expressed here. I completely get if you have run out of patience with us. (I’m not sure I would have stuck around if I’d been in your shoes.) I promise I’m going to keep working on making the forum usable again.
