Parent-Endorsed Skipping

<p>Good evening, all! I've found that there is somewhat of an issue at my school with regards to students skipping class with permission of their parents. I know dozens of students who will call their parents at lunch and ask for them to be released from school simply because they procrastinated too much on homework or a project or studying. These kids will flat-out tell their parents that they didn't do their homework, and they will get called out of school to avoid getting a zero. I know someone who has skipped the last three English classes in this manner because of a project they procrastinated far too much on. I see nothing wrong with taking an occasional mental health day, but the frequency with which some of my peers are skipping class with the knowledge and permission of their parents is a bit ridiculous.</p>

<p>Do any of you do this for your children? Do you know any parents that do?</p>

<p>No, we don’t do it. I don’t know that many parents who do that either, to tell you the truth.</p>

<p>I think with all the technology that’s available to us, you should insist on kids scan their homework and email it to you even if they are not in school. That’s what they do in college. They don’t care why you couldn’t show up for class, it’s student’s responsibility to turn in their homework on time.</p>

<p>Bad idea all around.</p>

<p>Think about what this practice tells kids about their parents’ values and priorities.</p>

<p>Of course this is a bad idea. I can’t believe it goes on at my school, and I’m pretty sure it has to do with the sense of entitlement kids are raised with in certain cities in my county. I’m just wondering if this phenomena is limited to my school or not.</p>

<p>I’d bet it happens here, too. Parents who are most concerned about GPA, but not paying attention to other issues. Not much different from saying “of course my kid was cited for MIP. Everyone does that. Our lawyer got him off.”</p>

<p>Wow that is depressing to read. Are you serious? Not many kids miss school at our kids’ HS (just too much going on to afford to do so). </p>

<p>But then they also do not grade homework (it is assumed you do it and if you don’t, it is your loss on the subsequent exam testing that material). Likewise, you either lose substantial marks or get zero on projects that miss deadlines. </p>

<p>Good luck trying to simply call in sick to avoid deadlines in university.</p>

<p>I guess I’m a bad parent. With the exception of the very occasional necessary mental health day (I believe we agreed on one per school year), my kids were not only expected to go to school, they were expected to stay there all day and to take the consequences if they hadn’t done their homework.</p>

<p>@mafool: what’s MIP?</p>

<p>This happens at our h.s., and I agree that it is due to a sense of entitlement combined with the parents’ fear factor that their kids won’t get into a good college if they mess up an assignment.</p>

<p>I never did it for my kids who never asked until the end of their senior year, when they complained that there was nothing to do in class - all AP exams completed, so the teachers showed movies or had boring speakers - which I thought was a terrible waste of teaching time on the part of the teachers.</p>

<p>There’s a time to call your child out, there’s a time NOT to call your kid out. Appropriate: a skip day when there’s an all-day no-classes-for-the-day event going on, OR senior skip day. NOT an appropriate reason to skip: doctor’s appts / dentist appts / homework not done.</p>

<p>My kids always told me stories about who skipped that day, and it always, always turned out to be the kids who never went to very good colleges. It really comes down to this: “even if your parents will agree to support you, you have to ask them in the first place and is this really an appropriate time to miss class”?</p>

<p>I took my kids out for doctor’s appts, vacation with family, college visits, but they always turned in their homework on time, and they took tests either before or as soon as they returned.</p>

<p>D2 is at a different high school now, but at both of those schools at many of her classes they had one free pass for late, and D2 used it very carefully.</p>

<p>I’ve never done it, but I know parents who have.</p>

<p>In the end this bad habit will catch up with these students. Parents are not allowed/available to make excuses for their children not doing their work in college.</p>

<p>[How</a> many sick days do teachers have each year? How many personal days? | United Federation of Teachers](<a href=“http://www.uft.org/faqs/how-many-sick-days-do-teachers-have-each-year-how-many-personal-days]How”>How many sick days do teachers have each year? How many personal days?)</p>

<p>This seems like a “fair” number of personal days for a student.</p>

<p>Oh I have no problem with my kids missing school for all kinds of reasons (travel, illness, a mental health day or to catch up on missed sleep, medical specialists appointments). Sometimes school is not the best option of several for a student to do in a given day. Showing up just for its own sake (if it has no impact on anyone else and there is value in missing it) is silly. I say that about university as well. If you aren’t getting something from the class, and you can use your time more wisely in other ways, and your absence has no impact on anyone else (e.g. it means no extra work for the teacher or prof), why go? </p>

<p>BUT skipping to miss deadlines is not okay. I sure would have a problem with supporting my kid to basically cheat (by skipping out and taking extra time to complete assignments that their peers do not get) and I would have a problem with reinforcing a belief that the deadlines do not personally apply to them. Natural consequences are one of the best parenting tools out there Why would I pass those up?</p>

<p>stradmom: MIP= minor in posession (alcohol)</p>

<p>I definitely let my student stay home to catch up on work- not when a project was about to be missed though, a few days earlier so she could do the work was fine. There was no goofing off, and in her project based curriculum she was often behind because the other members of her group did not do the work. As with many parent decisions it comed down to a judgement call.</p>

<p>My parents let me skip whenever I wanted really. I was never allowed to leave school early just because I felt like it, but I stayed home whenever I wanted. </p>

<p>I didn’t really take advantage of this system and never skipped tests or projects. I feel like it depends on the kid and it really does come down to a judgement call.</p>

<p>I don’t let “what other parents do” bother me in the least. I have not and will not call in a false “excuse” for the kids. I have plenty of friends who don’t think twice about calling in for their kids. My two oldest pulled that stunt once (skipping and then asking me to call in and excuse) and they both skipped on Senior Skip Day but realized I wasn’t going to call in even if “everyone else’s parents do it.” Kids will skip especially senior year after the acceptances are in and spring is in the air but I dont have to “cover” for them. I dont’ personally do “mental health days” and don’t allow the kids to do that either. If we’re sick we stay home, if we’re not sick we go. As far as it being only the kids that don’t go to “good colleges”…ha ha not in our district…quite the opposite. The envelope pushers are almost unilaterally the brightest of the bunch and the pluggers never break the rules. My oldest son was in an exceptionally bright class and those kids broke every rule the school had from elementary school right to the bitter end…and a collective sigh of relief was felt by the entire administration on graduation day…they even said so in the administrative graduation speech.</p>

<p>Students where I work do this as well, Keasbey. The school is located in a very affluent town where the parents are just as entitled as the kids. Not only do they skip school to avoid deadlines but they want extra time to complete the assignment on top of that. If they don’t get what they want, they will threaten with a lawsuit.</p>

<p>My favorite type of e-mail goes something like this: Hi Ms.------, Johnny will be missing 2 weeks of school because we’re going on vacation to the Bahamas and we just can’t wait till spring break. This won’t be a problem will it? We won’t have any access to the internet or computers. Do you think he’ll fall behind on school work?</p>

<p>My daughter told me of several of her friends who pulled this frequently. If there was a test and they didn’t feel prepared, or an assignment they hadn’t finished, they’d come in after that class period or leave before the class (depending on when the class was). We don’t have open campus so the parent had to sign them out. I thought it was a horrible lesson to teach your child. What happens when you have a boss who expects a project on a certain day?</p>

<p>One girl had a standing medical excuse for recurring migraines. Now I’ve had migraines and I take them seriously. But somehow this girl ALWAYS had a migraine the day of physics tests. Then she’d come in the next day and ask the other kids what was on the test, so she knew what to study. Once the whole class’s grades were held up because Miss Headache hadn’t made up a test from a week before (although she had been in school). Not surprisingly, Miss Headache had a very good grade in the class. My daughter was really ticked off, because she was struggling in that class, and knew that if someone told her what the questions were in advance she could have a lot higher grade too! And yes, this girl was a high achiever from a very privileged background.</p>

<p>I knew a mom who’d let her son miss or come in late to elementary and middle school frequently, so he could finish (or sometimes START) projects he’d procrastinated on. The kid ended up dropping out of high school. </p>

<p>PS - “Skip Days” are not acceptable in my book either. The taxpayers in our town pay a lot of money for every day school is open, and if the teachers show up and some of the students show up then all of them need to show up. Skip days in our HS received a zero for all assignments that day with NO opportunity for make-up and teachers were told NOT to review any material covered. Why should the kids who showed up have to sit and re-learn the material for the half of the class that went to the beach?</p>