<p>Now that most of the current crop of freshmen has moved in, thought it would be fun to hear what faux pas or cringeworthy things parents -- other parents, of course! -- did at move-in. </p>
<p>At S's college during a dorm orientation, a parent raised her hand and asked "What's the official policy on parent sleepovers?" The RA quickly explained that the surrounding area had plenty of hotels at various price points, and they were sure you could find one that met your needs, etc. Parent raises hand again. "So there's no official policy prohibiting it?"</p>
<p>It's moments like these where I gleefully remind my kids that I'm looking pretty darn good in comparison, lol. So what faux pas have you seen or heard of?</p>
<p>Oh, dear! Sleepovers! I just asked DS what his reaction would be if I asked about parent sleepovers. I got a rude gesture in response. </p>
<p>Looking forward to more examples–we launch on Thursday so I want to be prepared to avoid the really embarrassing gaffes. Or maybe to extract some promises from the kid…hmmm… “Call at least once a month or I ask the ‘sleepover’ question at move-in!”</p>
<p>D’s suitemate’s mom brought all of her bathroom cleaning equipment - mop, bucket, gloves, etc and spent a good hour scouring their bathroom. There really wasn’t anything <em>wrong</em> with her doing this, but I thought it was awkward and somewhat inappropriate, because if it needed doing, the students should have done it themselves! </p>
<p>I know she was trying to be helpful, but I wanted to say, “Time to let go, mom!”</p>
<p>Last year, at a parent orientation, a couple of parent comments and questions:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Will someone call me if my daughter is ill? We live less than an hour away and I want to be able to bring her soup if she isn’t feeling well.</p>
<p>My thought- A nice thought, but why can’t your DD call you if she’d like to have your soup?</p></li>
<li><p>My daughter is very shy. How can I know that she is not sitting in her dorm room? Will people make sure she gets out and gets involved on campus? How can I know that she is going to her classes? I wanted to bring this up now to let you know that she might sit in her dorm room. I want you to be aware of this.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Not really a faux pas, but similar questions as those mentioned by northeastmom:
Parent asked would report cards be sent home. (Answer: No) Then how will we know how they are doing? (Answer: Talk to your children.)
Parent explained that their daughter was a misfit in high school and had no friends, so would she fit in at the college? I don’t remember the answer, but it was a positive one. I said to my husband afterwards that I wanted to say our daughter was charming, well liked, and had loads of friends in high school; Would she fit in there? But of course I didn’t. (As it turns out, it was a wonderful fit.)</p>
<p>Bay- I don’t get what you are saying. Oh wait, I am one of those moms. My kid’s will not unpack until I have thoroughly cleaned their room. I would bring in a bucket with all kinds of cleaning stuff and scrub the place from top to bottom, that would include the wall and base board. I didn’t know it was a faux pas, i thought it was perfectly normal.</p>
<p>oldfort, Since you are “one of those” anyway, go ahead and check the mattress for uninvited guests. I just had a very bad experience with those little pests.</p>
<p>I guess my bringing the can of spray Lysol for the mattress might have been a faux pas too…except that OTHERS came and asked if they could use it.</p>
<p>^^^ No not a faux pas…it would have been if you had sprayed the whole room, the bathroom, the hall, and the hall mates room…without even asking.</p>
<p>I wish I had had cleaning supplies available when we moved in. One of the other girls was bringing everything, but we got there before her, and I didn’t want to wait to start unpacking.</p>
<p>Also not really a faux pas, but my wife left the room tearfully without ever really saying goodbye, and I tried to cram a life’s worth of parental advice into five minutes, at the end of which my son just rolled his eyes and muttered something about “Polonius.”</p>
<p>I think you are supposed to bring the can of Lysol and let the kid do the spraying. On the what to pack and what not to pack threads it was decided that the kid should do the unpacking so they knew where it was when they needed it. There is no point in packing Advil if the kid doesn’t know he even has it. If it is more likely that he goes to the local drug store and buys more Advil then what was the point? Let them learn to rely on themselves.</p>
<p>I cheerfully went around to introduce myself to all the other kids/parents on the floor (while husband was helping child set up room) and told them that I was X’s mom and I hope they’d all be great friends, etc. He definitely appreciated that one! By the way, if your kid complains that you’re Polonius then I give you two thumbs up–well-educated child is definitely ready for college!</p>
<p>That mother who brought the cleaning stuff to scrub the bathroom probably figured it would be the only time all year that it would get a good scrubbing.</p>
<p>By the way, with communal bathrooms, it is a really good idea to use flip flops or water shoes to avoid athlete’s foot. If you get it, it can take a while to get rid of it.</p>
<p>dad here, and I clean everything that needs it (really well, I might add). But, we also make it a point to move in as soon as the dorm opens so we beat the others in the room (to avoid potential faux pas).</p>
<p>I then help make the bed, wait around for a roomie to arrive, visit for a few minutes and leave.</p>
<p>At D’s freshman move in a few years ago, several of us were waiting in line on the street when an obviously drunk man walked by and said something like “go home, we don’t want you”. Most of us simply ignored him, but one parent said something back and it escalated to the point where a police officer had to step in. That is one way to really embarrass your child.</p>
<p>My cousin is an RA and every year she gets a handful of parents who try to ask for her personal number in case they want to call her to check on their kids. </p>
<p>My dad takes the cake so far in that the morning of my senior year move in he threw a temper tantrum and threw a plastic cup full of ice at the sidewalk in front of a group of very frightened looking move in helpers. I always paid the $120 something fee to move in a day early and came REALLY early in the morning to minimize the amount of people who would be witnesses to such events. And we always moved out at 3am. Thankfully he didn’t cause any scenes the other years, but he ALWAYS spent at least an hour or two arguing with me about how to arrange my furniture. He’s a real peach.</p>
<p>I agree with momfromkc regarding letting your child unpack but…I did do his unpacking and thank goodness for that, otherwise I don’t think he would have called or texted me at all! I get: “where are the batteries?” or “do I have sudafed?” it’s slim pickings, but I’ll take it:)</p>
“Call at least once a month or I ask the ‘sleepover’ question at move-in!”</p>
I always paid the $120 something fee to move in a day early and came REALLY early in the morning to minimize the amount of people who would be witnesses to such events. And we always moved out at 3am. Thankfully he didn’t cause any scenes the other years, but he ALWAYS spent at least an hour or two arguing with me about how to arrange my furniture. He’s a real peach.</p>