<p>Freshman year I unpacked and put away S’s clothes–asking him if it was okay that I put X stuff in Y place–because the plan was to bring the suitcases home with us and just leave him with one duffle. I made up the bed while H and S and the move in crew brought up the rest of his stuff. We also had to assemble the (used) futon frame we had bought for their tiny common room. (It was a 3-room suite for 2 people, and the only common room furniture was 2 wardrobes that were their closets.) All of us, including his room mate, who arrived while we were at it, worked on that puzzle! The room mate was there without his parents, who had brought him up before he DOC trip and gone home. (S, as a New Englander, was assigned an earlier trip and expected to go home afterwards and come back for orientation.)</p>
<p>We went over to the orientation site with the guys, where the RM picked up his packet, then all of went to the nearby dining facility for lunch. We then proceeded to the used furniture site, where the guys picked out and purchased a used minifridge, and we used our car to get it to the dorm. We went to the place where S picked up his preordered computer, went back to the dorm, and said goodbye as S and RM were heading off to dinner with other kids on the floor. (RM asked S if he wanted to have dinner with us instead, thoughtful of him, but S was ready to say goodbye.) It was all pleasant and not fraught with eyerolling or angst, except of course from that experienced by the parental units, but we carefully hid it. :)</p>
<p>I do have to report that I got a small case of the church giggles at the parent forum after we got DS moved in–I contemplated raising my hand to ask about the availability of chocolate milk in the dining hall but stifled the urge (and the giggles).</p>
<p>younghoss, there wasn’t one in my view. I got the impression that some parents think it is a faux pas not to just drop the kid at the curb and leave. :)</p>
<p>I felt that my major triumph was in not actually crying until my back was turned to S when we were leaving.</p>
<p>Re #257, I can’t get over the fact that the parent brought a steam cleaner with her! I had a friend in college who once cleaned her walls with a toothbrush, but that was an exam-time procrastination thing.</p>
<p>I don’t know about the rest of you, but to me, to schlep heavy suitcases, duffels and boxes up to a dorm room and then not help the student unpack would be like…</p>
<p>Right…it’s like helping a friend move into a new home. You may not offer to unpack the undies, but you’d certainly offer to help unpack the dishes, cups, etc. You’re not saying that the person isn’t independent. You’re just being “useful.”</p>
<p>My sophomore daughter is, like me, biologically incapable of spontaneity, so she had a plan complete with lists and diagrams for her sophomore move in. All family members had been notified of their assigned tasks. When we arrived on camups, all of us brought her stuff to the room, then dad left to collect books and daughter and I took over. I removed items from boxes, tossed them to her and she placed them as per prior plans. The room was spotless, everything put away, organized and ready to go within an hour because we were a well-oiled machine. The roomates (she has a single within a triple) were amazed, we were amused. As soon as we were done, we gave her a huge hug and hubby and I went out for a romantic dinner in town. No, we did not run into her.</p>
wow … and I thought my wife and daughter were the two most organized people in the world … actually the five of us have a lot fun with each other’s OCD type behaviors.</p>
<p>My daughter wanted the room prepared as quickly as humanly possible – more quickly, even! – and was fully prepared to accept my help to make that happen. And then let me leave. We were careful not to let her know that we were having dinner in town, though, but there was a restaurant we always wanted to try. She had a “strongly encouraged” floor dinner, so we were pretty sure we wouldn’t run into her. Which we didn’t.</p>
<p>I heard the first Parent Faux Pas from a friend: They were attending a special college event just for National Merit Semifinalists, and one parent raised her hand to announce “I’m sure this doesn’t apply to the others here, but MY daughter is a National Merit Semifinalist. Will SHE get any special treatment?” </p>
<p>My husband told me this one: He was at a special reception with our S for scholarship recipients to meet their donors. Apparently one donor did not attend, and a woman, standing with her daughter (who was not mortified but instead was looking pleased with her mum), was yelling at the college rep, saying “We wasted our time to come to this reception and that inconsiderate donor didn’t even have the courtesy to attend!” Then she demanded that the college rep call the donor to find out why she was a no-show and to tell her how disappointed they were! My husband was amused that the college rep agreed to call the donor and tell her that the recipient of the $12,000 endowed scholarship and her mother were upset that the donor was so inconsiderate. Wonder if she ever made that call and if the scholarship was renewed the following year. </p>
<p>Not that you wish ill on anyone, but you almost wish the donor had an excuse like a death in the family that would (hopefully) shut the (hopefully mortified) woman up.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s a good thing the donor did not show up to meet the scholarship recipient…the donor might have decided to revoke the scholarship if the recipient and mother had acted like they were doing the donor a favor by receiving the scholarship!</p>
<p>oregon101 - Yes, I loved the system. It was really efficient, plus it was a good way for the kid to break from the parents and go off to start his own adventure. Of course, we met up later, but the independence was already established, which I think is good for parents and student.</p>
<p>Well freshman year was the worst for my mom. They had a few orientation events for families the first night, and they fed us at the events. My mom kept trying to get be to grab some of the extra wraps and ice creams to take back to my room and put in the fridge for later (as though the three meals a day I was getting would not be enough). When I didn’t take anything, my mom took the liberty of grabbing ice cream for me (it stayed in the freezer the rest of the semester). She also kept trying to talk to students and make friends for me…
Sophomore year wasn’t too bad except she went grocery shopping without me and came back with all of this food I was never going to use between only having a microwave and having meal plan (seriously, when would I use sundried tomatoes or vinaigrette dressing?). Bless her heart though, she does her best to take care of me
This year wasn’t bad either except she felt the need to point out in front of my friends how cute certain guys on campus were, multiple times <em>facepalm</em>. I love her though and appreciated the help!</p>
<ol>
<li><p>At D1’s move-in the mothers of the two girls across the hall got in a huge, shouting fight because the mother who arrived first picked one bed and side of the room and started unpacking in violation of college etiquette that required that all roommates be present before beginning any picking. The girls themselves were silent and looked mortified of their mothers’ hissy fits.</p></li>
<li><p>At the Q&A session for a two-week summer research program for high school students at a university, one mother raised her hand asked whether there was water available for the students. Without missing a beat the professor immediately responded: “Yes, we have water available right here on campus and students can drink as much as they wish.” I think the mother was asking about bottled water, but it didn’t come out that way.</p></li>
</ol>
