<p>All of my kids’ colleges had/have a parent porthole to their student site. I can see grades, attendance, emails from professors, financial aid, assignments, anything my student sees. </p>
<p>The student has to grant access to the site. This is what I require to continue support for college. Money’s too tight to waste, and there’s more than one of them. I need to know about any issues/problems ASAP.</p>
<p>^ our parent portal only allows us to pay the bills…</p>
<p>I think that is good way to do it actually. Colleges are funny. They email me that the tuition bill is due, how much and when the deadline is. But I have to log on to my son’s account to see the itemized list to know what the charges are. Yes, he could log on and print it for me but it is just easier if I go in. If they had a parent portal, then it would be more straight forward instead of screens that greet my son after I log in.</p>
<p>My kid can (and did!) give me permission to have a parent login to the bill payment site, so I can see the itemized charges and such, and make the payments. But he would have to give me his personal student center login to see his grades, which I wouldn’t ask for. For this child, I have only asked him to report his final grades to me when they come in. For the next one, I will be asking him to login in front of me and show me the grades, as he has not yet earned my trust.</p>
<p>It would depend on the kid. My youngest is a great student and has been completeyl honest about grades and assignments, as well as when she’s struggled (not often). Her sister, not so much. She told me when she ran into a problem and sometimes asked for help, but it was ultimately up to her to solve her problems. Even with her I’d draw the line about wanting to see assignments and prof emails. If one of my kids needed to be micromanaged to the point of my seeing every detail of all of their school work in college, they probably don’t need to be going away to school, they would need more time to grow up. And if it was a question of my needing to be that much in control, I’d need to learn to let go.</p>
<p>Checking over homework and making sure everything is in order is a job for elementary school parents. Then you give the kids responsibility that increases as they get older. If we’re micromanaging in college, what’s next, doing their jobs for them when they’re employed?</p>
<p>Our kids’ U has. Guest login, where you can see finances, grades and progress toward degree. I used it periodically to see how things were going and alert kids to things that needed attention, as well as being sure bills were accurate before payment. Both kids did sign authorizations so we could have access to academic, financial and medical info. It was helpful in fixing red tape.</p>
<p>While I agree with you, I think that parents who are advocating for a disabled son or daughter tend to use a calm and cooperative approach, particularly on the first line of communication. Plus this was not a handicapped equipped dorm (there are several other newer dorms with great facilities). Based on mom’s clothing, jewelry and attitude this was just a full blown rich ahem hissy fit. I hope I’m never behind her in a hotel check-in line or nearby in a restaurant. </p>
<p>Regarding grades, several parents at orientation were dismayed to learn that there is not a way to go online and check the prof’s grade book for daily progress updates and assignments as there is in some middle and high schools. I was dismayed that someone actually asked how to do that.</p>
<p>
As a parent and as the person paying the bills, I’d like to know if things are going off track well before final grades are posted. Since professors enter grades on homework and tests electronically, it would not be hard to send parents email alerts when grades fall below a threshold, say a C (true Tiger Parents could make the threshold an A). Students could choose whether to consent to this.</p>
<p>I have read about programs that try to increase the college completion rate of students statistically less likely to graduate (1st generation, low-income, URM). Those programs monitor student progress and don’t just react after students have flunked a course. Better-off students have parents who play this role in an informal way, but this could be automated.</p>
<p>My two older sons never struggled in college and it never occurred to me to “check up” on them.</p>
<p>My third son struggled more–he has some moderate LDs-- but he always eventually finds his way, it just sometimes takes him a while (and some less than stellar grades as he tries different strategies to find what works). To look at his grades would sometimes give me heart attacks! And my getting upset ended up just putting more stress on him–he didn’t need me to tell him that a grade was not a good grade. And what was a I going to do? go meet with the professor for him? Tie him to his desk and tell him no social life? especially when a lot of the time it’s not needing more time to study, but figuring out how to study for a particular class, or how to better respond on the exam/how to meet the professor’s expectations.</p>
<p>Another thing I noticed–it’s not high school any more, and professors often don’t feel a need to enter grades into the data base on a regular basis–the students get their assignments back and know how they are doing, but the professors don’t always put them on Blackboard or whatever. One professor friend of mine said she doesn’t put up individual grades on a regular basis because 1) it’s time consuming and she has higher priorities, like meeting with students, and 2) so many parents actually call her to ask why a grade was low, or if Susie can make up a missed assignment, etc.</p>
<p>another thing I meant to note–</p>
<p>many classes don’t have lots of assignments/individual grades, etc. For example, most of my sons’ classes might have a combination of one or two exams, one or two papers, a group project or an oral presentation, and a final exam or project.</p>
<p>So looking at Blackboard and seeing a grade on a 5 page paper didn’t have any implication on how my son would do on the midterm, and the midterm exam grade had no predictive value on how my son would do on the major project.</p>
<p>Ah… I want to see the final grades. Now that my kid is in college, she has to learn to navigate the ups and downs during the semester for the final outcome she wants. I could see every point in real time during high school, and did keep an eye on it. But college is a different story. If she can’t do it by now, then she doesn’t belong there. So I won’t be the parent asking about tracking grade status during the semester!</p>
<p>Beliavsky-if you have a good relationship with your kids, they will tell you, unasked, how they are doing, and they will be honest about it, even when they are in trouble. I know your kids are younger, but I hope that when they’re in middle school and beyond, they will do the work expected of them and come to you when they need help. As they reach HS and college, they’ll need to check in with you less often, but assuming they feel safe with you, they will continue to be honest about school and you won’t need to check up on them like they are still young children.</p>
<p>Yes, there are support programs for"at-risk" populations, but they don’t keep kids from failing by hovering, they do it by giving them the tools to be more likely to succeed, such as upper class buddies, or pre-college prep, or special tutoring options. The idea is that the STUDENT take charge of his/her learning, for their OWN satisfaction, not because mom or dad are breathing down their neck.</p>
<p>Gosh, this thread jumped the shark.</p>
<p>Jumping the shark? Now THERE’s an idea I can use to embarrass the kid on move in day. If only I can remember which drawer my old Jams are stuffed into.</p>
<p>Actually, the best parent faux pas is just existing and breathing air.</p>
<p>At move in, the kids are still in that high school mindset that parents are embarrassing just by virtue of existing…they each are absolutely convinced that they are the only student on earth who has parents…</p>
<p>Moving a junior into an apartment, and a freshman into a dorm at different schools this weekend. :(</p>
<p>
And it’s good that parents are willing to recognize that. My folks were helicopter parents before it was fashionable and thought they were somehow exempt from that. My dad, God rest his soul, just couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to have my friends over to hang around with him all the time, and I’ve done my best to give my kids a little space, although they think I embarras them too.</p>
<p>GL cromette! We are also moving our junior into an apartment for the first time (in a couple of weeks) and he doesn’t know what he needs to bring kitchen-wise or even what size his bed there is! I have asked him to please try to get that information sooner rather than later 
But at least we’re not moving a freshman the same weekend! (We’ll have a senior and a freshman next year if all goes according to plan.)</p>
<p>We just moved our freshman son into a temporary dorm at his school as he is a fall athlete. He will then move into his regular assigned dorm a week before others arrive. Since this dorm is an apartment with a full kitchen, the coach encouraged the kids to bring some cooking supplies as they are not on a dining plan yet. My son absolutely did not want to take anything as he was sure he would be the only one who did. I went ahead and put some basic supplies as well as cereal, PB&J, bread, etc into a tub and stuck it in the car. He was a little irritated when he saw it but I assured him I would not take it out unless he asked me to. The team met and was then escorted to their apartments while I went and drove the car over. Apparently 3 of the boys in his apt. were lamenting that none of them had brought anything to cook with. By the time I got there, my S was very happy to take in the supplies I had brought and the others were happy to see them. The last roommate showed up a bit later and I was laughing to see that his parents brought WAY more than I did- probably a bit overboard. They were nice but pretty overwhelming- took all the stuff in and organized it all and then started planning the menu for the week! My son told me later that the kids ended up cooking the spaghetti I had thrown in for the first night, and also thanked me for not being “too much”. Someone said that freshman are still in that high school mind-set regarding parents being embarrassing and it is true. He was so worried about taking too much stuff. I have noticed that he does not mind walking around campus with us anymore so at least we are progressing. As he put it, “it’s no big deal”.</p>
<p>It is amazing how quickly that high school mindset will change though. Before you know it, if you show up at the dorm (with plenty of advance notice, of course!) your kids’ friends will pop in to meet you. They’re all secretly (or not-so-secretly) hoping you’ll invite them to come out to dinner, or that you’ve brought some sort of food to the room. But they’re generally glad to meet you regardless of food status.</p>