<p>Thanks to all those who have been responding to my threads related to lessons learned, talking about boarding school and parent applications...I have been rereading and saving your responses. Very much appreciated as we head into "Take 2" in this process. Now, I have been thinking about the parent interviews. Do both parents, need to be there? Are the parents officially interviewed? Were there any questions that really threw you. I understand that many adcom interviewers will always praise your child. Any that did not?
Any have funny stories to share?</p>
<p>I think I could have “sold” my daughter more at two of the schools. I made it a point of being honest, saying it was a win-win situation if she went or if she stayed home. I meant it then, and I mean it now, but I supose I should have been more along the lines of "I can’t imagine her anywhere else but (insert school name).
zp</p>
<p>haha my mom flipped out at one school during her parent interview after reading something bad in their newspaper…their admissions decision wasnt so great .</p>
<p>It’s a formality more than anything else. Just be your normal self. Be reasonable and supportive. That’s all they need to know about you as parents. You can talk about your kids of course, but all that’s important is already covered in the application so there’s no pressure there.</p>
<p>Both of my kids attended boarding schools and applied/interviewed with seven schools.
We hosted a regional admission presentation for one of the schools at our home. The admissions officer said he wants “low maintenance” parents.
If you appear to be the type of parent who will be calling the school frequently to demand your money’s worth, make special requests, etc., the selective schools will cut your kid in the application process. Believe it. The less selective schools don’t have the luxury of cutting applicants on this basis.</p>
<p>^agreed. It’s a small and insignificant part of the process. You can hardly change anything for good but there’s a chance you can mess things up.</p>
<p>I’d agree with this. I have no idea if there’s a valid cause-effect relationship here, but my son got into the schools where I only contacted the admissions office once–to schedule the interview–and waitlisted at the schools I e-mailed with questions. I didn’t think I was being high maintenance–just asked two or three questions about the application process–but who knows? It could also be, of course, that he got into those two schools because we had no questions–because they were good fits, everything was clear.</p>
<p>The schools don’t “interview” the parents as they do the students. After the student’s interview, the parents will be asked to join or have a separate meeting with the Admissions officer. There is a lot that can be said here but the parents are most certainly vetted by Admissions. The schools want to know what kind of parent(s) they could possibly have to deal with for the next four years. Parents can blow it just as easily as their kid during the meeting process. That meeting is a prime opportunity for the parents to mention their child’s special attributes that their child may have forgotten to provide or not have mentioned for fear of sounding boastful. It’s not easy as you sit there trying to read into the other person and calculate what to say or how to convey a viewpoint. I’ve know plenty of Admission Officers who have said, “wow great kid but the parents …”. In addition to the actual application this is major face time where sales comes in and this short span of time is usually all the school has to go on when the time comes to make a decision. Undoubtedly parents and student alike will be racking their brains (well at least the parents) until March 10th, in trying to read into every word and comment that transpired during the campus interviews and all correspondence, if any, that follows. As previously mentioned being oneself is usually the best bet.</p>
<p>I am sure there are other success stories out there, but my experience (lessons in some cases?) is that with parents involvement in the process, “less is more”. It is your child that they want to know about. You are the background - show them you are a supportive and “never stealing the thunder” background not only in the application process but after you become part of the community.</p>
<p>I know I have become “the queen of fit”, but throughout the entire process I was just honest. We toured and interviewed before applying, which I think everyone should do. We selected a variety of schools, size, location, history, etc. I think I felt little pressure about discussing my d’s strengths, weaknesses and what I was looking for in a bs experience. I made sure to ask the school what they were looking for in a student, and how students with similar backgrounds fared in their programs. Example, homeschooler, midwest kid, only child, single parent home, big city, minority, etc. </p>
<p>I believe our biggest asset is that we didnt have a 1st pick before our visits. We took in all the schools had to give and started seeing what we liked, disliked, wanted, needed, etc. As we narrowed down our choices I just asked my d to be honest and reflective. At 14 being reflective can be difficult, but I felt that if I believed that she was ready to go to bs than I had to let her take the lead.</p>
<p>This is totally embarrassing, but if someone else can learn from me, it will be worth the humiliation of sharing this. I remember the first BS interview for my S and I think it was at the end, as we were shaking hands in the hallway that I realized that I wasn’t the one trying to get accepted. That may sound self-evident, but I think it’s tough to go into an interview and not be the one who’s in the hot seat, trying to impress the interviewee with who you are and what you’ve done, etc. I can think of a couple of other situations where it’s someone else who’s the subject of the interview: security clearances, where I’m interviewed for someone else’s clearance and, possibly, grant presentations, where I’m asked to provide a reference for someone else’s proposal. But, by and large, it’s a big adjustment to walk in an interview and not play the part of the person who’s trying to be accepted/get the job offer, etc.</p>
<p>That would be my top tip for parents: make sure you’re not trying to get into the school! Catch yourself if you start to let that mindset creep in. I don’t know about anyone else, but I think I was an idiot at that first interview (it all worked out with that school, but still…) and I had to be very intentional and purposeful to not let it happen again.</p>
<p>As much as I still believe the schools take a hard look at the parents, Dyer Maker’s remarks (as usual) are spot on. I’m guilty as well and thank God my better half was there to me that “be quiet” look.</p>