Luckily, he is a very kind baby. He is very gentle with animals and hasn’t (yet, knock on wood) gone through any kind of biting/hitting/kicking stage. He is stubborn and isn’t much for things like cuddling, but he’s very sweet. He also has no problem interacting with strangers and is probably more outgoing than either his dad or I are lol.
I’ll look into Davidson though - thanks all.
I think that you are musunderstanding my comment. I have no reference to these kind of programs. What I am suggesting to OP is that if she has resources and time, if her child is “gifted” there is no wrong answer. Sounds like she is very invested and by getting him involved in everything is the best thing, esp at this age. Sports, music, lots of books and even screens are engaging and the baby will thrive with lots of love and attention.
We have montessori classes that are part of public or catholic schools. We have 2 public expeditionary learning schools that are run in a similar way to Montessori (multi-level classrooms, lots of learning out in the world), much more writing about things than just multiple choice tests.
Make sure the other skills are developed. Art. Music. Running like the wind. Being a nice kid!
I have friends with gifted kids. They have a lot of ‘holes’ in their learning,(IMO) like really poor handwriting (no cursive at all) not much music, not into sports because ‘everything is unfair’ and they couldn’t win all the time or be the best.
I babysat for a boy many years ago who was gifted (NMF, Yale, G’town law) and I remember his mother saying that when we played games, work on teaching him to be a good loser! We played Uno with his younger brother and sister who were about 2. They knew the colors and the numbers so could play (if they could hold the cards), but he knew the strategy as he was the ripe old age of 5 and could use those ‘Skip’ and ‘Reverse’ cards like a master. He won the newspaper football betting contest (where you pick the winners every week) when he was about 14 years old - he was great at statistics and figuring things out. I take credit for that because I taught him about football.
Use this time when R is drinking everything up to let him get as much as he wants (needs). This will change after covid and he can be around kids more, but while you have him all the time, just keep talking to him about everything and nothing. Maybe the whole family can pick up a new language.
My mom was a psychologist and for years tested young children to see if they met the “gifted and talented” specifications. There are nonverbal tests that can be done quite young. It’s good to know where you stand so you can research and advocate for your child because they may have needs your schools can’t supply. And, as has been stated, some of these kids are “twice exceptional” and may have disabilities. Hyperlexia and Hypernumeracy can be identified when children are young. Reading and play, of course, but highly gifted children have special needs that should be identified.
“Gifted” can be defined as above 93 or 95th%ile depending on source/school district. I think in the age of your kid, as a Pediatrician, the signs he has this early likely imply highly gifted 99ish %ile. Highly gifted is usually is apparent at some level at this age, as outlined by MWolf above.
Agree with almost everyone look into Davidson! As a former “gifted” kid in public school who has 2 gifted kids in private, there are plusses and minuses to school options. School choice is very important–they need to have “mental mates” and be challenged–but in some areas the best options are private, whereas others the best are public. Our first, like yours, read around 2, not taught–she just did it one day after being fascinated by words and letters and memorizing books early on.
The data on screens in the young is dicey and overall not positive, so we were an almost-no-screens family until they were older. Just regular reading and play w grandparents and play-dates /preschool for social skills were all she needed, and no over-scheduling later so she’d have plenty of time to read and explore on her own what interested her, and plenty of time to sleep. There are gifted HS here where she might have fit in better than hers due to more intellectually -similar peers, but for a multitude of reasons the college-prep aspect was not a good fit so we kept her where she was . She is finally at home and says she feels she can be her true self for the first time in her life, in college. Finally. It was a long road at times, especially middle school where the social norm did not have room for quirky gifted kids. Those were long and difficult years.
Our second one read a teeny bit later , but still by 3, and in the math areas is highly gifted–the fascination with numbers and puzzles showed extremely early–well before age 2. She is very highly gifted />99th%ile in every area, but has different relative strengths than the first, and hopefully will also find a college environment that suits her better than HS, though her HS school does have a larger set of “mental mates” than the other schools we looked at.
Best of luck and research schools extensively–and do not be afraid to change if needed if the school is no longer a fit. Don’t overthink it–and make sure to do all the mundane parenting that even gifted kids need(boundaries, respect of family rules, regular sleep, etc)
@ChoatieMom love this post.
One other thing to OP: sometimes boredom can be a good thing. i understand the fear and seeing it as under-stimulation, but boredom can inspire kids to do some cool things on their own.
Everyone is saying great stuff. This resonates with me, based on family members’ experiences. When things come easily, especially if you keep to what you’re good at, the opportunity to learn what to do when things are hard and people are better than you are few and far between. So trying him out on things he doesn’t gravitate toward or resists is important.
I would also suggest watching Young Sheldon - yeah it is a sit com, but I think models nicely how a “normal” family embraces a highly gifted kid. And it is a pretty good show, to boot!
Middle school is where it got rough for us, too. If I were to do it again, I would have searched for educational options outside of our public middle school. The combo of the social pressures and lack of support for gifted kids was disastrous. We figured it out by high school, but it was (almost) too late.
Finding other options can be particularly difficult if the family can’t afford private school on their own. Parents have to learn about their rights and the resources available to them.
Gifted educator and parent of two identified gifted kids here. I will echo what many other posters have said, especially regarding the screen time and encouraging/supporting his interests.
Re: screens: I’ve been teaching for 25 years, and I notice a marked difference in how kids relate to adults, each other, and learning since carrying video games and social media in one’s pocket became the norm for 9-year-olds (and younger). It’s not good. When kids finished their work in my class, they used to pull out a book. Now they want to pull out their school-issued iPads and play games or jump on Discord. Participation in our Science Olympiad teams is down, while eSports is up. They are more likely to search for a “quick answer” and less likely to grapple with a challenging problem. I understand that your S is using the screen as a learning tool, which is great - but once kids discover video games and social media, there is a MAJOR decline in the use of electronics as learning tools and a sharp increase in their use as an entertainment venue. Just be cognizant of how addicting screens can be, especially when a developing brain is given unlimited access. As others have mentioned, boredom can be a wonderful thing - Newton invented calculus while socially distancing during a pandemic!
Re: following interests: I can relate as both a parent and a teacher to your son’s insatiable need for MORE - more stimulation, more information, more challenge, more knowledge. This is very common in highly/profoundly gifted kids and you are right to feed it with books and conversation. As I’m sure you know, you’re in for a wild ride. Unfortunately, the challenge with his needs will largely come once he starts school - right now, he doesn’t know he’s different and his interests can be fed by parents and books - but once school starts, he will likely be far ahead of his peers and he may not understand why they have no interest in declining honeybee populations or the intricacies of negative numbers (or whatever he’s into). This can be tough to navigate, so do some research on gifted programs in your area to find out what’s available.
One piece of advice: gifted kids get used to things coming very easily. They comprehend easily, they have excellent memories, they take few repetitions to master something new. Because of this, they have a tendency to avoid trying new things they may not be good at right away, like sports or art or even making new friends. Perfectionism was a real issue for both of my girls at a very young age - to the point where we started having mini-celebrations every time one of them made a mistake so we could celebrate learning something new and/or demonstrate value in the effort it took to master a difficult skill. We never told them how “smart” they were, which is in hindsight one of the best parenting moves we made in their early years. Encourage situations where he might fail and teach him how to learn from his mistakes.
Finally, enjoy the roller coaster ride - parenting a gifted kid is so full of highs and lows, joys and struggles, questions with occasionally few answers. You sound like a wonderful parent and your son is lucky to have you!
Yup.
I don’t think it is particularly helpful for me to go into our story - we couldn’t afford private school and had/have other issues going on. My point was just that you can’t assume the school - even a good public school- will be able to address your gifted kid’s needs. And middle school is particularly problematic. Don’t assume no news is good news in middle school. No news can mean a miserable child who thinks no one can help because no one is helping.
Research options before your kid lands in middle school. That’s all I am saying.
Yes, we found we were better off in a school district with a lower percentage of college-bound students and lower overall test scores because it was a larger district with separate classrooms and tracks for kids identified as highly capable.
The prestigious, sought-after district with great test scores was one district over. But the families with gifted kids tended to drift into houses on our side of the border over time. Not that middle school and high school were completely problem-free, and it was still a public district lacking resources, but at least there was a program, curriculum, and experienced teachers for my child and her academic peers.
Agree with everything said about screens. My kids had parental control option on, and could spend only half hour of screen time on weekdays and one hour on weekends until HS. In HS all school work became online so we increased the time but their habits were already set. No smart phones till college for my daughter and junior year of HS for my son. As a result, my D never took up social media and is a voracious reader. My son spent his days playing outside and has tremendous soft skills and emotional intelligence.
I embraced the French style of parenting where there is a firm “cadre” of basic rules and the child can take initiative and have freedoms but cannot cross the “cadre”. Things like number of meals per day (no snacking all the time), mostly constant meal hours and bedtime, basic hygiene, etc were enforced and soon became second nature. The child becomes confused and unhappy when there aren’t any rules. “Bringing up bebe/French children don’t throw food” by Pamela Druckerman is a hilarious book describing this.
ETA: Easier said than done in the times of Covid. Sympathize deeply with every parent of a young child.
So I guess no structure was hyperbolic. I just meant we don’t have a set of things we do every day.
He goes to bed more or less at the same time, has hygiene things every day (kid loves showers and brushing his teeth. Go figure.), eats when we do (though he does snack which is fine by me), etc. I just meant like we let him play with whatever he chooses and don’t force him to do any activities. We just let him play with whatever he wants.
I did a quick peak into gifted schools around here and many don’t do financial aid until like middle school 
. We’re solidly middle class and cannot afford the 15k+ tuition that seems common here. 
The no or very little screen time is super nice in theory but I respectfully ask you to remember that we’re raising him during a pandemic where we’re constantly having to work from home and he’s in quarantine more often than not due to exposures. If screen time is detrimental some day, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, it’s another toy and a lifeline for two working parents who by definition cannot get help for weeks at a time.
Also, the research shows that screen time becomes an issue when it interferes with and replaces human/human interaction time. He is not getting less human interaction because of screens.
If screens are a big issue, they’ll be affecting everyone in his birth cohort so frankly I’m not too worried.
I think screens are a reality today, but I would also get him some toys even if he doesn’t seem interested (he may have them already). Legos, blocks, toy kitchens, feeding the stuffed animals, Play doh etc. Play with him if he will sit with you, play by yourself, model the play skills, etc. even if it’s only for 3 minutes at first.
If he hyper focuses on the numbers - counts the Play doh cookies and tells you how many more to get to 50, focuses on the numbers on a toy measuring cup etc…acknowledge him and redirect to feed the animals because they are hungry, etc. Redirect to more socially appropriate conversational skills.
Being a highly gifted 8 year old is great, but it’s also important to have appropriate social skills, and that includes not always pointing out numbers on a clock, addresses on homes etc … while he’s conversing with others. His love of numbers can work in his favor when he’s doing academics, but talking with somebody about a book while saying all the page numbers (on page 27 this happened, he lives at 80 Smith Street, she lives next door so her number is 78, etc) might not always work in his favor, socially and conversationally speaking. I am not saying he does this.
There are many reasons why he might be hyper focused on numbers, why he might seem ok around strangers (more so than other toddlers?) why he doesn’t have pretend play, etc …even if he is also highly, highly gifted.
I don’t know, because I have never met him. I would not worry about middle school right now. Encourage his interests, let him explore, redirect the conversation and model what is appropriate (again, I don’t know him).
Have fun with him!! It goes by fast.
I haven’t read all the replies but would only caution you not to focus too much on the “gifted” label. Let your kid grow up leading with other characteristics other than the fact that he may be gifted.
My Brother-in-law and his girlfriend have ruined my niece, who they believe is gifted (they paid $$$ to have the test to prove it to everyone). Since she was old enough to speak, they have verbally reinforced to her that she is better than everyone else because of the “gifted” label. She literally introduces herself and then says that she is gifted 
As a result, she has zero social skills, zero friends and has changed schools multiple times because if she doesn’t like what’s being taught, she’ll throw a tantrum and her mother will come to her defense and blame the school. She is 13 now and being homeschooled by the mother, who isn’t very well educated herself.
I don’t doubt that she is a bright kid (although no Doogie Houser), but I highly doubt that she will be able to be a functioning adult. Her parents have spent her life justifying normal bad kid behavior because she is (allegedly) “gifted”. She now expects the seas to part when she enters a room. It’s sad to see.
I’m sure it’s exciting to find out you have a gifted kid but be careful not to let it overtake the normal social and psychological growth of your kid’s life.
I am intrigued by the question of boredom and giftedness. There are so many parents of gifted kids on this thread. Was boredom a problem? My experience was that a gifted kid was never bored but generated his own engagement.
With COVID this may also be more of a challenge, especially without siblings yet. An only child who is gifted may be bored more often, and at two it is still hard to occupy oneself.
I feel like Romani is mostly posting defensively. I think we are all trying to help and am sorry if you are feeling a need to defend what you are perceiving and doing!
FWIW, many of the responses felt judge-y to me too, so I can see why the OP would be defensive.
In terms of the boredom/gifted question - I had an only child. She was very well able to entertain herself and she created all kinds of imaginary worlds. I remember one year when we had moved into our house with a big play room and she had combined a marble rollercoaster, with a fashion show, with a lego structure, and a vet clinic. She had a whole interwoven story line going. She was maybe 2 1/2. She was also very social and outgoing, like Romani’s son.
I don’t think the issue is with boredom now, I think the worry is in school. And in my experience, that is something for parents to have on their radar.
With the screen thing- we were much like you. (/) know your kid. If he has trouble disengaging from screens, that’s a warning sign. (2) quality matters. Not all apps and shows are the same. I have no doubt you are not letting him watch junk.
Video games are an interesting challenge. I was furious when my brother got kiddo an xbox, and In middle school he spent too much time on it. But it was social in its own way and got him through tough times. And we did limit the types of games. No blood and guts stuff. It ended up being fine. If anything, it was a net positive. If it gets in the way of school, friends, family time, you will know.
One of my kids was in G/T (not similar to this child) but I am also sharing my experience working in EI as well as elementary. I have worked with highly gifted children who sound similar to this child.