<p>We’re boarding school parents, so we went through this transition when our 14-year-old went off to school three years ago. He was one of those kids who transitioned well, without homesickness, and hit the ground running with little need to communicate with us. Ouch. He’s a senior now, and we’re still lucky if we get him on the phone for any length of time every one or two weeks. We never text. College next year won’t be anything new for him or us; we just hope he ends up some place that can be reached by a non-stop flight as currently no airline flies non-stop from our home to his school, so travel logistics are complicated.</p>
<p>I remember how I felt after his first year and posted this a long time ago on the BS board, but I’ll share it again as many of you who have just sent a child off for this first time are probably having some of these feelings. I can tell you that it gets better, and this separation you’re enduring is an important part of letting your child take the next step toward independent adulthood. That’s a good thing…really…even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Hugs to you all.</p>
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<p>Then, later when kind posters were trying to give me ideas on how to fill the empty time until DS was home again:</p>
<p>son is going to a concert tonight and then “crashing” at our place before going back to school tomorrow … LOL wifey is pissed saying “oh now we’re a hotel?” </p>
<p>he’s a good boy. confessed his first ‘drinking to throwing up’ experience. (not at the concert) good learning experience on it’s own but turned into another teaching opportunity for me.</p>
<p>I too miss knowing the little details in their day to day activities. But right now it seems as if my D and some of her friends are using Facebook with more frequency. Yay! Now I get to see that she has joined a “casual volleyball” group (I love that the creator specified it’s casual), or that she will be attending some college-sponsored parties. And I do follow the parental rule of no posting or liking anything. And sometimes I check to see who has liked her posts, and I say a little prayer each time hoping I’m not accidentally hitting the “like” thumb in error.</p>
<p>I’m feeling a bit challenged today. My son witnessed a double attempted murder yesterday and then last night there was an unrelated freshman resident suicide (not his bldg). We talked, txt’d last night and today and I saw him briefly last night between the two events. I don’t like the distance today ;(</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear that @rumrunner. Glad you could talk to him and help him to process it all. Most of us never deal with that and he’s had so much so soon. Sad.</p>
<p>@rumrunner, how awful! Best of luck to you and your son for getting through this. You kind of expect roommate problems, school work issues, but definitely not witnessing a violent crime. I’m glad you were able to see him face to face. I’m sure that helped both of you. Take care.</p>
<p>@Hannahbanana, Great post! I remember my son pausing in a conversation when I told him we bought something at home when he was in a camp. Later he told me it bothered him (of course, he was younger then)… So, your post hit home. Great insight!</p>
<p>I really need to read some good books about parenting a young adult (from HS graduation into the late 20s). Even a subset on mothering a young woman. Please, any recommended books? (My nightstand is still full of the parenting-your-teen books.)</p>
<p>came across this article but couldn’t find this book on Amazon but when I search Amazon there are lots on the subject “Emerging adults: The in-between age”
A new book makes the case for a phase of development between adolescence and adulthood.</p>
<p>Anybody else find themselves texting their sons on Sat and Sun mornings (after 11am) just to make sure they are ok. I worry about those Friday/Sat night parties. Can’t seem to stop after 3 years…thankfully, the boys simply humor me and text back timely.</p>