Parents a little obsessed?

<p>i applied to 15,
5 safeties, 5 i would MOST LIKELY make, and 5 dreams
but thats also just because im super paranoid lol</p>

<p>In my opinion, there's no point to applying to 5 safeties. I think 2 is a really good number, since if you have 5, you can just pick your favorite from that group and throw the rest out. Ask yourself, if i only got into all my safeties, where would i go? could save you 3 x 60 (180 dollars). </p>

<p>Anyways, about the thread...my parents (mostly my mom) are a little bit of both. They know about the rankings, the ivy league, and other good schools (basically prestige). But they don't know much of the technical things in the admissions process, like the difference between early action and early decision, etc. But overall, they're much better than other asian parents who obsess about the ivy league and getting their kids into reach schools. My parents would be happy to see my go to one of my safety schools, although i know secretly they have much higher hopes.</p>

<p>Personally, My parents (Their Asian) don't give a crap about my grades or where i go to college as long as im debt-free and successful. I , personally, give a crap about all that jizz.... total opposite :(</p>

<p>Mom of four here. Two things: I absolutely agree that students should be independent. But, there are different personalities and anxiety levels in kids that a sensitive parent will be aware of. In my own group I had two who were relatively hands-off except for a little organizational help or advice, some essay reading, just for encouragement and proofreading. And one kid who was rather frozen from anxiety and needed a little more hand-holding. </p>

<p>The second point is that some application processes are harder than others: music majors have a great deal to keep track of, and our guidance department was useless,knowing very little about the music application process. So, parental input was the only way to get that together.</p>

<p>Most parents really want their kids to sail on their own---the amount of help needed just varies.</p>

<p>My parents are Asians, but it's completely the opposite here lol! They never bothered with my school stuff because they don't know any English. The only things they know are my final grades and which school's application fee I have paid. One good thing about them is that they won't bug me if the money spent is for school. As of now, they have no idea which schools I have applied to, and I won't tell them until I am accepted lol. Even though we are not rich, they promised that they will pay for all my college expense if I get accepted into a top 10 or 20 school which in return becomes pressure!</p>

<p>Jazzmom- You're one of the rare parents i find on here who (i think) can find the fine line of what their job is and isn't. I know applying as a music major is slightly more difficult as there are auditions and portfolios necessary that, say, a pre-med major would need, yet there are things that a pre-med major would need that are far more complex than what an intended music major would need to prepare. I think it is fair to say that everyone who is applying to college has an equally rough journey just in different aspects... Im applying for International Relations while never actually taking classes in said topic with a double minor in Chinese, which i have never studied, and Music...never have i applied to college, yet i figured everything out with my parents, for the most part, minding their own business...(btw, my mom is a mother of four too, me being the youngest. All three of my sisters are older than myself and have went to college and only one needed some more guidance than myself and the other two...but definitely not ever things like filling out the application for her or anything as ridiculously absurd as that is.)</p>

<p>and Noob- all of my safeties offered me free applications...I applied to 5 to see what kind of FA they would offer me and take the highest. duh!</p>

<p>haha in that case, you're fine, just hope you didn't have to do too much work for them.</p>

<p>Sometimes parents care about their kids' business and sometimes kids are just bad at doing the things they need to do. So I understand parents' involvement in it. Yeah, you should be independent and confident, but not everybody is.</p>

<p>The thing that personally bothers me is just the fact that there are two generations here. I know it's stupid, but my ideas of teen forum and adult forum are very different. So I'm subconsciously like "you don't belong here!!!!!" (and maybe some parents think the same thing about me), even though I don't really care.</p>

<p>lol no, they were all those obnoxious "Your Personal Application! You can hand this in Whenever you want without a fee, no essay, and no letters of recommendation and get a response in less than a week about your admission decision!" deals...</p>

<p>so it worked to my advantage to just apply</p>

<p>well pFNMCp...i definitely agree with your point about the adult/teen forum thing, but you have to realize, unless you plan on staying home and continue having your parents answer your every beck and call or expect them to be completely subservient to you for your whole life, you will never make the effort to go out on your own until they are, unfortunately, no longer with you.</p>

<p>What I find most funny is the "we got in!" comments. I'm sure a fair percentage are just close families or just feel like celebrating, but whenever someone is counting it as their own success, I just think it's hilarious. My parents haven't been involved at all short of questions I had (dates, taxes etc). They did a few visits with me, and my mom knows all the schools I'm applying to I suppose but that's it. That was entirely my choice/mutual though. I would never agree with a parent doing apps for someone, but if a kid needs and wants to have their hand held all the way through? Why not. Yah, we all have to become independent at some point, but college is the best time to do that in your life right? And if the apps aren't done, that's not going to happen haha.</p>

<p>I kinda made a personal decision to treat my apps like I was already in college, and entirely responsible for them myself.</p>

<p>yeah same here...</p>

<p>lol and "we got in!" comments make my blood boil...</p>

<p>when i was waiting for my Georgetown letter, my mom was saying how she cant wait for this to be over because SHE'S so nervous and i just kinda sat there and scratched my head...i mean ok, i understand she was saying that she was nervous for me because, what parent doesn't want the best for their kid?, but it just got me flustered...</p>

<p>i was like pshh you already went to college!!! this is about me! :P</p>

<p>lol i would really enjoy listening to some of these parent's Nature-Nurture debates...</p>

<p>I wish my parents were on this website. Sure, it may be a bit extreme to be so involved in your S/D's college admissions process, but it's better than the alternative- no support at all. My parents want me to go to college, certainly, but besides that and getting good financial aid they don't care where I go- they've even told me to stop talking about it, and to not worry about getting into decent schools because there's always a (huge, horrible) STATE SCHOOL to fall back on. Given that as the alternative, wouldn't you rather have parents that are, perhaps, a little too involved?</p>

<p>definitely not! whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I'm positive you'll be thankful for your parents lack of involvement one day...</p>

<p>They've already did this, now its your turn. </p>

<p>And students who think their life ends if they go to <gasp> a state school, in my opinion, are just afraid to work hard. My teacher went to one of the worst colleges in NY, worked her butt off, and now is finishing up her PHD at Columbia at the top of her class....</gasp></p>

<p>You'll succeed wherever you go as long as your willing to put in the time and commitment</p>

<p>My parents are supportive, but not overly involved. When I say I'd like to visit a college and interview, they help me out with that. My dad has made a few phone calls asking about financial aide at a few schools. They're concerned about affording it, but not much else. I think it's okay to ask your parents for advice and ask them to read over your essays for grammar mistakes, but I hate kids who let their parents pretty much write their essays and micro-manage the entire process.</p>

<p>^ yeah claire, like it should be.</p>

<p>my parents didn't even care about the college process AT all in the begining. They were like, yea do your best, just know you can always go to the state university blabhblabh. and my mom ALWAYS told me she wanted me to go to the local state uni. so yea...and then one day they randomly throw a copy of the US NEWS RANKINGS at me. but after that they didn't care at all. and seriously, i had a whole list of schools i was applying to, and they knew maybe...2 of the schools on that list. they did not care. </p>

<p>And then i got into UChicago EA. holy crap, now they care big time. my mom practically was ready to ship me there, you know, who cares about the rest of the 15 schools i applied to. and now they hint around about what my life in Chicago is going to be like, and how they're gonna come visit me...and i'm just like, ook, i have 15 more decisions coming. so all of winter break, they constantly asked how my other apps were coming along, and then kept telling me things like, "well, if you can't finish on time, just don't apply, just go to CHICAGO!!!!" and now they constantly surf the US NEWS RANKING website to compare all all the schools i applied to with UChicago. lol. US NEWS need to stop coming up with these rankings, they're taking over my life.</p>