“[This college] has a net price calculator on the web site with which you can estimate financial aid for your own situation. You can also ask additional questions at the financial aid office after the tour.”
But perhaps this kind of useless and intrusive question has to do with the tendency of people to exaggerate the importance of personal anecdotes (disregarding whether the anecdote is representative, outlier, or applicable) compared to the stated policy of an institutional bureaucracy (such as the financial aid office) and related data (such as net price calculator output).
toomanyteens- she thought being an athlete should be a ticket to exclusivity. She couldn’t believe that “athletes” didn’t have a separate dorm and - gasp! - might have to share a room with a non athlete. The kid was completely uninterested. She was bragging about this being their 12th college visit.
I wouldn’t tout a school’s financial aid as generous as a tour guide either. A single college that seems generous to one family might seem ridiculously over priced to another. Truly, every situation is unique. Even for schools that “meet need”, that is not super meaningful if a school deems your “need” inaccurately given your situation. I would just unemotionally refer them to the FA office/webpage without disclosing any info about a personal situation. I’m guessing the FA office would prefer student tour guides not to try to answer questions about it either.
The question would be just as obnoxious for ANY student regardless of financial status to get those questions. I’m sure those getting aid would get obnoxious questions too in this situation.
I’ve toured going on 20 schools at this point, and honestly, I am surprised how loose lipped many student tour guides are. I suspect many could use more structured training before they send them off with prospective families. I can’t imagine schools would be in favor of their tour guides disclosing personal information.
Yes it is a boorish question. I think a good answer is x% are full pay and y% are on full aid. I don’t think most schools would want that to be the answer. If it is a school that meets full need then that should be the answer.
In real life some ‘expensive’ schools cover team and club expenses some don’t. My nephew attended a $70k private school that asked parents to donate to the same engineering team that was fully funded at the state school.
She could say that she received what she expected from the net price calculator. This might get to the questioner’s concern without giving away personal financial information.
While I agree that its boorish to ask personal financial information, I agree with the above poster who said some visitors may just be looking for some hope/reassurance/validation that the school might be generous with FA. If a visitor asked “ were you happy with the FA you received?” it might be an innocent question that sure feels intrusive. A witty comeback might be “ I received merit aid. Will your student qualify for that”? (no don’t say it, just think it )
Parents would ask me my SAT scores when I was a tour guide 20 years ago. Some things never change.
I think it’s OK if an individual guide wants to volunteer personal information as part of telling their story: “My mom’s a nurse, so coming here would never have been possible without fin aid” or “I’m a first generation student, and the support here has been great.” But that doesn’t make it OK to ask for that information.
If they ask, and won’t quit after the referral to the FA office, she could pepper them with questions on their salaries, home value, mortgage amount, tax return, etc. I bet they’d stop asking.
After many visits, most of them fine, I do recall one rather annoying parent that stood out.
While at Princeton, for an engineering school specific tour, a parent asked many questions and very loudly, crowding out others trying to ask questions. My favorite was “why should I sent my child to this school.”
As a tour guide I would have been tempted to answer “I can’t think of a single reason…please don’t”.
Unfortunately, you can’t always fix rude. It rears its ugly head everywhere. If it’s truly obnoxious, I have a tendency to try to save the poor soul being bombarded by quietly deflecting the offender. Some people just have very low social IQ’s and don’t really understand what is and isn’t appropriate.
We never encountered such rudeness on tours. Some questions were personal, however, including about the tourguide’s major and future plans. And some comments were simple remarks of amazement that the guides were so adept at walking backwards.
On most tours I’ve been on, the student guide usually shares his/her major, and is usually very open and eager about sharing their views and experiences, while maintaining appropriate boundaries, e.g., most guides aren’t going to share which Greek house they belong to, or use your question as an opp to air their gripes about the school. And, they are representing the school, the experience, and the outcomes…part of the job. It is unfortunate, though, that the job also serves in educating the guide about how to manage inappropriate questions and comments, esp. things financial. Re alums, well, they probably have more experience than the student regarding the school, albeit past experience, and there’s usually a reason that alums donate $ and bring their kids to their alma mater…an alum’s question/comment could be a guide’s cue to give some really great insight about some aspect of the school. Likewise, “Why should my kid go here?” is a completely reasonable question…a director of admissions for an elite university stated in an admissions presentation that he told a parent to go out on campus and ask a few students that very question-the parent didn’t get why the school was such a big deal, and why his kid wanted to go there; the director’s response-go to source and you’ll find the answer. Thank you tour guides.
“Why do you ask?” Said somewhat slowly and looking them directly in the eye typically makes people realize they crossed over the nosy line.
I find this approach most often leads to them to pose a different question that may be more polite/appropriate. If they respond with something like, “I don’t know, just curious.” That response can be met with silence or a simple, “Oh.” :^o
One of my dd’s biggest turn offs was when a tour guide gave a super lack luster answer to why he choose the college and what he thought set it apart. Told a huge group that he missed the deadlines on other schools and it was his only option. Zero passion or school spirit.
At another school, the student talked about the university not having any “riff raff” and that group work is easy because they’ve screened out “those people”. Super pretentious and snotty. Again, another school that came off her list.
IMO, that’s on the university for not interviewing and selecting their student guides more thoughtfully. Like it or not, these students are representing the university.
I was generally impressed by most tour guides by their desire and passion to represent their schools well. One tour guide from Berkeley even made me want to (and I did) email Administration to laud his effort and to tell the admin that they should be proud that this kid is representing Berkeley so well. Same thing with UCLA tour guide from SF area who majored in Arts.
You see it all on tours. This is one reason why I like to be mixed in with families rather than get a private tour (which some schools offer when they learn I’m a counselor). Waiting on the admissions office porch a couple of years ago, I saw a mom tell her 17-year-old daughter to come and sit on her lap. The daughter was easily 50 pounds bigger than mom, who wasn’t tiny, but she obediently went and perched on mom’s knees till the tour started. It was…memorable.
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