<p>Hi everyone! I have a bit of a dilemma and was hoping for others experiences and opinions. I recently told my parents that I want to apply Early Decision II at my dream school Skidmore College. I know they value early decision quite highly and that if given the chance to go to any other school on my list, no matter the cost, I would still choose Skidmore. However, my mother is completely against it as she says I need to explore my other options and see what financial aid other schools would give me. As it stands my family does fairly well compared to others but our income is getting significantly smaller each year. However, the cost calculator on SC website says I would not get financial aid from them at all. Furthermore, I am fairly certain that if I were choosing to do early decision at the school where she went or other more well known schools she would be all for it. And even if I did end up getting admitted RD and got great financial aid from other schools I would most likely win this battle because we are not in that dire of a position financially. So this might have been just incoherent rambling but I guess my questions are: Am I being a selfish drama queen? Is my mother too worried about reputation? And most importantly, should I apply ED II?</p>
<p>If you have solid stats, there’s no need to apply ED when you can apply RD and get in. If your parents can’t afford the college, you’re going to be really screwed when you have to go but can’t afford it. I say apply RD to this school as well as other safeties, and if you get in you can decide then if you want to go.</p>
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<p>Yes. It isn’t your money. It is very valid for parents to want you to apply RD to compare costs/FA offers.</p>
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<p>In a word, yes! If your parents cannot afford to pay full-fare, DO NOT apply Early Decision I or Early Decision II to any school, as you will not be able to compare financial aid offers.</p>
<p>Several years back, my son applied to 11 colleges and was lucky enough to be accepted to 10 of them. Even though all 10 schools were looking at the same tax returns, and offered 100% of financial aid based on “need” (no merit aid), each college calculated the parent and student contributions differently. </p>
<p>The most affordable schools on his list (Yale, Princeton, Vanderbilt) offered him scholarships of about $40,000 per year (our family’s yearly cost = $18,000). The most expensive college’s on his list (Brown, Dartmouth and Boston College) offered him $15,000 in scholarships and wanted us to pay around $43,000 per year. Other college’s on his list (Williams, Pomona, Middlebury) offered scholarships of around $26,000 to $29,000 per year. Our flagship state school’s tuition, which offered loans but no scholarships, is about $21,000 per year. My son is currently at Yale for less than the cost of our state flagship school.</p>
<p>Although your heart may be set on one particular college, if the cost differential to your family is so great, you just might want to reconsider where you want to go to school.</p>
<p>Full Disclosure: Our family makes around $150K per year, and the above FA offers were based on having 2 kids enrolled in college at the same time.</p>
<p>Unless she also agrees that you will ‘win’ despite varying offers, you need to do as she asks–it is completely sensible. This isn’t worth a fight. Just apply and compare. After you apply, spend time learning even more about your other schools. You will have some months to consider.</p>
<p>X post with gibby; it is very kind of you to share that info. Wow, that’s some spread.</p>
<p>Another point - we were able to leverage one FA offer with another school that was comparable. We asked for a financial aid “review” when School A did not offer any FA, and told them that School B had made COA about $10,000/year cheaper. School A came up with a $10,000 grant that had not been on the table before. This can only be approached this way if the schools are comparable or the cheaper school is more highly ranked, and there is no guarantee it will work. But it was worth it for us… and with an ED application, we never would have been able to get this.</p>
<p>It seems all the parents above think the same way.
Anyway, if one need to compare financial package, one should not apply for ED.</p>
<p>Stick with RD and honor your parents wishes as to how they want to spend their hard-earned money. In our case, it made the difference of saving 20K per year, money that could be put towards a graduate degree. Between now and April you can continue to learn more about your schools and you may end up deciding than Skidmore isn’t your top choice after all.</p>
<p>I’m pretty sure you can’t apply ED anywhere without your parents signing off on it. So you might as well keep your powder dry and try to convince them when you get all the RD offers in.</p>
<p>carolinebere wrote:</p>
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<p>Unless OP has ~$250,000 of her own money, this is a futile statement. Since she apparently needs her parents to pay the bill, she will need to reach a compromise with them.</p>
<p>When there is a need or interest in needs based aid or merit based aid applying ED is illogical and detrimental.</p>
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<p>Says who? You? This is where you lost the argument IMO. Take a moment to be grateful that your parents are working with you to help you find the best college match, for yourself and your family. Not everyone is so lucky.</p>
<p>It is very rare that a high school Sr knows the intimate details of their parents financial ‘health’. Judgements based on cars they drive, vacations, what neighborhood you live in are extremely poor predictors. How old is that Mercedes, is it leased, or is the ‘new’ car a Kia? Were vacations possibly paid for by grandparents, a year end bonus at a job, a vacation home offered by a friend or client? Nice big house, posh neighborhood where you know homes sell for $1M+. How much do they owe on a first mortgage? A second mortgage or line of credit? There may be medical expenses for a family member that you have no earthly idea what these cost out of pocket/month even with ‘good insurance’. They may be helping pay expenses for an aging parent. These can be unthinkable. I take several medications. One was filled yesterday with ‘good’ insurance coverage at $450. That’s one out of a dozen. </p>
<p>So, you may be a very bright young person, but if your parents want to compare FA packages and total COA then as paying benefactors that is their right and responsibility. This is not something to be ‘won’. That’s an immature attitude.</p>
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Your parents are fully within every ethical convention to say to you: “Here’s $60K. Take it and get out.”</p>
<p>Yet you feel entitled to +$180K. Since you’re at it, why don’t you ask for your inheritance immediately.</p>
<p>Your lack of perspective is shocking.</p>
<p>Going back and looking at the OP, there may be more going on here than a selfish drama queen. There may be a mom looking for a trophy school as well, one her kid doesn’t seem to want. (Skidmore? You’re going to Yale, dammit! This family has a reputation to maintain!)</p>
<p>What are the other schools they want you to consider? Is there an ED1 school? This doesn’t sound like a plea for spending less money, it sounds like it may be a tactic to stop you from locking in a school your family thinks is not prestigious enough.</p>
<p>I don’t think we have the whole story.</p>
<p>OP you state that your family’s income is getting significantly smaller each year. That should be cause for concern and you may not have the full picture. Sometimes parents try to protect their kids from the true financial situation. We decided to let our S apply ED to his reach and it appeared to work but not before seriously considering all of the risks as well. Unless you have >$200,000 saved exclusively for educational purposes without putting anything else in jeopardy- retirement, your house etc. it just isn’t worth it. We will be having our D apply RD to all of her schools when the time comes.</p>
<p>OP-- think about it this way.</p>
<p>Full pay, Skidmore will run approximately $60,000/year, once you factor in transportation and all your other college related expenses. That’s $60,000 of income after taxes are paid. That means that your parents have to make roughly $90,000 of current income to have that amount available for you after taxes, and after paying all the other family expenses. Or, they have to have $60,000 / year in savings, or a combination of these sources of cash. Or, you and /or they will need to take out student loans, and the amount you can borrow is severely limited. Your parents also need to consider your siblings college futures (if you have siblings) and also their retirement planning, etc.</p>
<p>You need to have a discussion with your parents as to how much they intend to pay toward college for you, and then set your sights accordingly. Figure out what makes Skidmore so attractive to you, and look for other schools with similar attributes to apply to as well…schools with either a lesser cost of attendance, or where you might get some merit money to bring down the sticker price.</p>
<p>*because we are not in that dire of a position financially. *</p>
<p>Sorry, but you have no idea what the details of your parents’ situation is. And the issue may not be one of “dire straits”, but an issue of not being able to pay an extra $10k per year at School A over School B. In that example, $40k is a LOT of money. And your parents may need to be funding their retirement, or they may be concerned about a grandparent who’ll be needing help. </p>
<p>Unless YOU have $250k laying around somewhere that is your own to spend, you can’t just that “no matter the cost, I’ll choose Skidmore.” You’ll be choosing whatever fits what your parents are willing to spend. Period.</p>
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Nice of you to spend your parents $. Unless you have a cool quarter mil of your own money salted away, listen to your parents.</p>
<p>Reading this back is pretty embarrassing. I was just very upset after having this conversation with my mom as I have worked two jobs all throughout high school and have paid for my clothes and phone and other stuff, and just hearing that all that hard work and saving still might not be enough was really disappointing. So i’m going to apply rd and hopefully things will work out in terms of aid and prestige and everyone will be happy.</p>