Okay, so I’ll save everyone here the detailed personal drama. Essentially my parents make ~125k a year (so enough to pay for college, coupled with a bit of need-based aid), but they’re refusing to do so because of my sexuality. Stupid me thought that my Democrat, liberal parents would be okay with a gay kid (since they have 3 kids anyway), but I guess not. And poof, there goes my college.
I have high enough stats to get some merit aid (34 ACT, 3.91 GPA, good ECs, etc.) but I don’t think I can get a full ride anywhere. Right now I’m really considering Ohio State University and Indiana University, which are both out of state for me. The reason I want to go out of state is that 1) I can’t stand to be around my parents anymore and 2) my state’s flagship is pretty terrible and I don’t want to be caught in a dead-end career path (which is what usually happens to graduates from it). Also, OSU offers the Eminence Fellowship which is a full ride for all four years, and IU has some lucrative merit aid that I’d qualify for. I’ll be gunning for those grants, but I obviously don’t want to rely on that as my only option.
I have some hope though. My grandmother, who is pretty wealthy, knows I’m gay and supports me so I could always ask her for help. I also have some other relatives who said they would be willing to help (brother, uncle, cousins, etc). What I’m most confused about is how this will work with regards to the FAFSA and CSS. If I put down my parent’s income, I’ll recieve considerably less need-based aid than I actually need to attend college. Essentially my EFC should be 0 because my parents have cut me off, but adcoms won’t see that. So I’m completely lost. My dream school is UChicago but honestly at 70k a year it seems hopeless. At least OSU and IU hover around 40k for OOS and can offer me merit aid…
Anyway, what should I do? I’m very confused and this has made the college selection process even more hectic. I’m open to anything really: work-study, loans, whatever. I just want to go to college somewhere.
TL;DR: Parents cut me off for being gay and I’m at a loss as to what I should do.
125k with a “bit of need-based aid” is not enough to “pay for college” if the college is 60k per year. Substantial aid would be needed.
You HAVE to put down your parents’ income, whether they will pay or not. Your EFC should NOT be zero unless you go through a lengthy and not usually successful process to be declared independent.
I do not see the issue here. If you get accepted to a 40K per year school, and you qualify for loans, that is down to 31.5K, and if grandma is rich, she can pay that no problem.
You need to read through similar CC threads. It is sad if your sexual preference is affecting your parents supporting you after college, but they do not have to support you and do not have to have a reason. There is no law that says that married parents must pay for their child’s college, not one cent.
What I might suggest is that after you apply to college and see what kind of aid you get, have a heart to heart with your parents, let them officially say “no, we are not paying the difference” (you will be expected to take full loans available from the government I am sure), and then go to grandma.
If your parents will not provide financial data for your FAFSA, that is different.
Il think you need to seriously rethink this. You won’t likely get enough merit aid (sounds like you need a full ride) to attend an out of state public university.
What is the matter with looking at your instate options? Would any of those be affordable…or do any offer merit aid that you might be in the running to get?
Will your parents complete the FAFSA with you? If they will do that, you would get the $5500 Direct Loan which is in your name only. If they won’t complete a FAFSA, you will have issues getting any need based aid.
Read through the links on this thread, particularly the one on automatic full ride/full tuition scholarships. Perhaps,there is something there that will work with your stats.
As for the 8.5K per year of federal loans, my son got subsidized and unsubsidized loans for 5.5K total, and 3K of Perkins loans. And we make tens of thousands more than your parents do.
OP, the Eminence Scholarship at OSU is very very hard to get. Don’t count on getting it. Look for schools where you are GUARANTEED merit aid with your stats. thumper1’s link should help you.
I’m very sorry your parents have acted this way because of your sexuality. It’s truly a shame.
@rhandco Yeah I understand that 125k isn’t enough for “a little bit of aid” haha. I guess I’m just not grasping how much college really costs. Anyway, my parents will provide help with the FAFSA so that’s not a problem. They just don’t want to pay for it directly, but they’re fine if I get scholarships/loans/etc. Basically they’re taking the stance of “we won’t limit you because you’re gay, but we also won’t directly support you.” So that’s that.
@thumper1 It’s not that I necessarily need a full ride. It would be very helpful obviously, but I won’t be gutted if I don’t get one. I just want to offset as much as I can so that I can cover the rest with student loans and loans from grandma. My parents will complete the FAFSA with me. About in-state options, they’re honestly not that great and I don’t even like where I live very much. I know that sounds petty (and I will apply to my state’s flagship anyway), but I’ve only lived in this state for about 2 years and have hated every second of it. I have connections to Indiana and the Midwest in general, and I’d love to go there. But if worse comes to worse, I understand that I would have to stay in state.
@suzy100 Yeah I understand how competitive Eminence is. I also like OSU because they offer a range of smaller scholarships (Maxiumus, Trustees, National Buckeye, etc.) that can help too. Even if I don’t get Eminence I believe I have what it takes to get a smaller scholarship, which could help even a little.
@BobWallace I’d like to study Economics (getting a BS, not a BA). I’ll also probably add a minor in something else. I know Econ isn’t the most “wealthy” field (like say, engineering), but it really does interest me and there are lots of career options. My brother got a BS in Economics and he’s doing well haha. Also, I have connections and family in the Midwest, specifically in Indiana, so being close to them would be helpful. As I said above, I also like that both schools could offer me merit aid (to some extent) and also a place in their honors colleges. Also they seem to have decent enough LGBT support networks, so that’s a plus.
Another thought - since your parents are otherwise liberal, if there is a religious reason they feel they “cannot support you” because of your sexuality, could you try to talk to their pastor, or another religious adviser to intervene on your behalf with them? I know that depends on the religion, and I know that for some people it is not religion, but being liberal, I’m going out on a limb that they feel a religious objection.
Certainly no liberal nowadays would think “and therefore I won’t be getting any grandchildren from you” and so on…
I’m sure when you get into the larger community of college, you will have fellow students who have dealt with this, sadly enough, but good to commiserate with.
The details differ, but your circumstances aren’t that unusual. In hindsight, my parents’ support seems to have been directly related to my willingness to join the military.
That said, what schools have you considered that have a starting price of about 20k including room and board?
In other words, if DD considered only schools that started north of 40, she’d have heard basically the same thing. “We love you; let us know how that gets paid for.”
She considered some modestly priced schools, and with one of those having guaranteed scholarships, we supported some spendier places. Either way, she has affirmed her intent to apply to a “humble” in state school, in case worse comes to worse. This isn’t discrimination; without a couple financial safeties it’s just common sense.
“Apply and hope Grandma comes through” is not a winning strategy. Get commitments on how much everyone will pay, and then we can advise you on affordable options.
You certainly can get a full ride with your stats, but to get more merit aid you generally have to go down the ladder a bit on colleges.
I get really tired of hearing ‘the state flagship is not an option.’ The only place that I can think of where the flagship is really not an option is Wash DC, and resident there get a TAG to attend any other state’s flagship. Where is this horrible place you live where the state schools are not good enough for you?
The fact is you have to play the cards you are dealt. You wouldn’t be getting a lot of need based aid (or any) from public schools even if your parents were totally supportive of your sexuality. The fact is your EFC is not going to be zero. You have a good chance at merit but only at those schools that offer it: Alabama, Temple, the NMF schools.
Before you go counting all the money that your grandma and other relatives could pitch in for you if you’d only ask, you’d better actually do the asking. Find out whether or not they can help you, what the dollar figures are, and what the terms are. Are these loans? Are they gifts of money? If they are loans, what are the repayment terms? And, realistically for your potential major, does it make sense to borrow more than the standard federal student loans?
Here’s the thread you need to go through. Check each link carefully. Identify those places where your stats will guarantee you admission and the best merit-aid packages, and those places where you are most competitive for merit-aid packages. Then from those short lists pick at least one where you are guaranteed both admission and the money as your safety school. If you like any of the others, apply there as well. Who knows, maybe you will get in and it will prove affordable, but at least you will have that guaranteed money/guaranteed admit in the bag: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1678964-links-to-popular-threads-on-scholarships-and-lower-cost-colleges.html#latest
@rhandco My parents are religious, but this is less of a religious issue and more of a “when I was growing up…” sort of deal. Raised by homophobic parents (who, interestingly, are now supportive) kind of thing.
@50N40W I understand that I’ll need “financial safeties” as well and will definitely be applying to my state’s flagship. I’d only need to pay around 10k there because I get half-off tuition already, plus I’ll get some aid (merit and need). It’s just not my first choice.
@BobWallace Thanks for the help. I’ll contact my grandmother and other relatives to see how much they’d be willing to help out. Going off of what @rhandco said earlier about only needing to cover around 31.5k, I think I should be okay if I split that up between student loans, relatives, work-study etc. I’ll see though.
@twoinanddone It’s not that the state flagship isn’t an option. It’s just not my preference. I understand that I must play with the cards I’m dealt, and I realize my EFC is far from zero. If it comes down to it I’m sure I could learn to be happy at the flagship (despite it being only 20 minutes drive from my parent’s home), and it would be very inexpensive to attend. (If you’re wondering, it’s the University of Utah.)
Thank you to everyone who has replied. I’ll be thinking a lot about this in the coming days and I will see what my best options are.
If you live in Utah, you have TONS of options for OOS state colleges. You are eligible for WUE, so can pick any of the schools on that list - Wyoming, Humboldt State, Montana, Alaska - all at reasonable rates. I would actually pick Utah because it has great programs in theater and game design! You can also check into the CC Favorites of Alabama or Temple, NM and Ariz schools.
My daughter goes to Wyoming as an OOS student because it is cheaper than our instate options. If money is your main concern, you have better options than Indiana or OSU.
50N40W I understand that I'll need "financial safeties" as well and will definitely be applying to my state's flagship. I'd only need to pay around 10k there because I get half-off tuition already, plus I'll get some aid (merit and need). It's just not my first choice.
[/QUOTE]
I doubt that you’ll get any need based aid. The scholarship will already go towards “need,” and your parents EFC will likely be the rest.
Are you saying that you’ll get half tuition award because of merit? What other merit would you get from Utah?
With your parents income, their EFC is going to be at least $20k. So with a half tuition merit and maybe another merit award, how could you qualify for any need based aid?
@mom2collegekids My dad works at the state flagship, so I automatically get 1/2 tuition. My high school is also a major feeder and is known for having a high number of students receive dean’s scholarships, half-rides, etc.
Thinking about it more though, you’re probably right in saying that I won’t get need based aid. It’s fine though, because I think the difference will be enough to cover with other resources.
You should check on whether you can stack merit scholarships (granted by the school) on top of a tuition reductions. Sometimes schools allow one or the other, not both. I know Wyoming doesn’t allow the Rocky Mtn scholarship (OOS student merit scholarship) to be stacked with WUE. There are some other scholarships that can be stacked (department, talent, alumni) but not a merit scholarship with a tuition reduction. A friend’s at a private school had the same situation; his daughter gets free tuition, but then no school merit scholarships. Still a good deal.
Honestly, you need to fall in love with Utah or Utah State. Apply to other schools, but if you are hunting for money, I think you’ve found it.
As the mother of a lesbian daughter who is a senior in high school, I think how your parents are acting is shameful. I don’t think they are as open minded and liberal as they claim to be.
You are correct that you will not qualify for any need based aid. My daughter (and her dad and I) are in the same boat.
Your scores are excellent–great job! There are a lot of schools who provide very generous merit aid for scores like yours. I’d expand your horizons to look at those schools. There is a lot of good information on the financial aid and scholarship forum here. If that doesn’t pan out, you may need to go to the in-state school where your father works. 50% off on in-state tuition is nothing to sneeze at, for sure! Plus, you might also qualify for some additional merit aid there.
