Parents Breathe a Sigh of Relief

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<p>Suburban Parents Breathe a Stateside Sigh of Relief </p>

<p>Lombard couple happy to have kids home but brace for their possible return to Iraq</p>

<p>By Kathryn Grondin
Daily Herald Staff Writer
Posted Wednesday, July 05, 2006 </p>

<p>Even when both of her children were in harm’s way in Iraq, Danette Grider couldn’t stop watching military programs on TV — be they news shows or dramas.</p>

<p>“You have to,” she says. “You want to know what’s going on.”</p>

<p>Some days were easier than others for Grider and her husband, Terry, when the Lombard couple’s 26-year-old son, TJ, and 29-year-old daughter, Melissa Ringhisen, both captains in the Army, were stationed in different hostile areas of Iraq at the same time.</p>

<p>TJ Grider, based on the West Coast, has done two stints in the Middle Eastern country. He served in Baqouba, north of Baghdad, from March 2004 to March 2005 as a platoon leader of the Army’s 1st Infantry Division. He returned to the country more recently with an elite team of Rangers but didn’t give specifics for security reasons.</p>

<p>Based out of Georgia, daughter Melissa arrived in Iraq in January 2005 and worked military intelligence in Baghdad until last January.</p>

<p>“They were both in pretty hostile areas,” Terry Grider said. “That was a very difficult time.”</p>

<p>Danette Grider recalled several tense moments.</p>

<p>“When TJ first went over there … we heard a helicopter had gone down, and we didn’t know where, and I panicked,” she said. “It turned out he was still in Kuwait. He hadn’t gone up yet.”</p>

<p>TJ Grider’s platoon fought in close to 30 firefights, he said. The platoon would be out on combat patrols and insurgents would ambush the American troops with a “hit and run” style attack. Then the American troops and their allies would try to pursue the aggressors, who sometimes were difficult to trail, he said.</p>

<p>“They’re not wearing uniforms. They can easily attack you and then merge back into the general society, the general population,” Grider said. “It definitely was pretty crazy.”</p>

<p>His more recent stint was a little more unnerving for family because everything was top-secret. </p>

<p>“All he could do was say, ‘I’m OK.’ He can’t even tell us what the weather is. Anybody listening in on the phone call can know where he is,” his mom said. “We’d tell him what’s going on at home.”</p>

<p>Even for Ringhisen, who had access to some information while she was there, times could be unsettling.</p>

<p>“I would see reports on things going on in TJ’s area,” she said. “We’d try to find out what unit was involved and if it was his. I’m sure my parents were going nuts. He was probably worrying more about me than himself. I was more worried about him.”</p>

<p>Working in military intelligence, Ringhisen’s time was mostly spent in a relatively safe area rather than the frontlines. An assistant intelligence officer for the brigade of 4,000 soldiers, she compiled tips and other information and recommended what actions the American troops should take —like where to dig for weapons caches or conduct raids — in the eastern half of Baghdad.</p>

<p>She also helped plot Operation Squeeze Play, a roughly six-week effort to stop car bombs from entering Baghdad.</p>

<p>Military reports indicated 285 suspects were detained just the first day. Ringhisen said fewer car bombs exploded for a while afterward, and some equipment was seized.</p>

<p>Tense phone calls</p>

<p>Danette Grider could tell the fighting wasn’t far off as she could hear it blast through the phone.</p>

<p>“One time, we were on the phone with her and we heard this loud bomb go off,” Grider recalled. “She said to hold on and put the phone down. I was screaming into the phone.” </p>

<p>It turned out enemies had set off an explosive outside the compound, but no one was hurt that day.</p>

<p>“It was scary to be over there,” said Ringhisen, who finished her tour there commanding a brigade troop battalion of 140 people. “But the reality is something could happen to you anywhere. Some days we’d think the odds weren’t much greater in Baghdad than they were at home.”</p>

<p>During those rough periods, the Griders said they trusted that their children were trained well and knew what they were doing. They also relied on other military families who could understand their situation.</p>

<p>“We have it easier than they had it years ago, when they didn’t have e-mail and it could take a while before you hear anything,” Danette Grider said. “We’re not the only ones. We know a lot of people whose kids have gone through West Point. We feel for everyone. You worry about everybody’s kids.”</p>

<p>Not all interactions were hostile for either of the Lombard natives.</p>

<p>TJ Grider counts himself lucky to have witnessed Iraq’s first elections in January 2005.</p>

<p>“I was pretty impressed with how successful they were,” he said. “There weren’t any huge attacks. A lot of Iraqis turned out, and they were excited to vote.”</p>

<p>He added, “It’s like anywhere else you go. There’s going to be good people and bad people, corrupt people and people with good intentions.”</p>

<p>Ringhisen participated in a few humanitarian aid deliveries, including one where she and a group dropped off 10 boxes of school supplies at a girls school. The students appreciated the items and were awed at seeing a female officer, she said. And working alongside some of the Iraqi military, she was impressed by their attitude.</p>

<p>“They were proud to be part of improving the country and were saying, ‘I hope you come back when it’s a tourist attraction. You can see the real Baghdad. This is not the real Baghdad,’Œ” she recalled. “To meet someone so optimistic when they are living in a war zone is just amazing.”</p>

<p>Stateside — for now</p>

<p>The siblings, who both attended Willowbrook High School in Villa Park and the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, are stateside now. But they both realize they might be deployed to Iraq again.</p>

<p>“Anyone in the military, there’s always a chance they could go back,” TJ Grider said.</p>

<p>For now, the siblings are enjoying their time with their families.</p>

<p>Grider is married, and he and wife Amanda have a 2½-year-old son, Jack. Ringhisen and husband John have a 3-year-old son, Patrick.</p>

<p>Grider knew early on, at just 7, he says, that he wanted to go to West Point and pursue a military career. </p>

<p>As a kid, like many young boys, Grider found the prospect of “blowing things up and shooting stuff” appealing. His dad always expressed a healthy respect for the military, and watching the Army-Navy football game was an annual Grider family tradition. A good academic program and a chance to wrestle at the collegiate level also played into his decision, he said.</p>

<p>He now appreciates “the camaraderie and the sense that you’re having an impact on world events.”</p>

<p>Ringhisen’s interest didn’t pique until later.</p>

<p>A zealous and persistent college recruiter is responsible for her decision to attend West Point and ultimately join the military long term. In part on a whim, she’d attended a summer program at the elite school while still in high school. </p>

<p>“I’d heard about West Point so much, I thought I’d check it out,” she said. “It’s worth a shot to check it out.”</p>

<p>She said the experience was interesting but she didn’t think it was for her. She reconsidered only after a recruiter wouldn’t stop hounding her.</p>

<p>“I filled out all the applications just to get him to leave me alone,” she said. </p>

<p>She then reconsidered after hearing West Point was so interested in her that it would allow her to retake a physical test she’d failed.</p>

<p>“I was a straight-A student applying to multiple major universities, all of which seemed indifferent as to whether I would attend,” she said, “and here was a school with a strong academic program that thought I was exactly what they wanted.”</p>

<p>Though she hadn’t gone camping much while growing up, she discovered she liked going into the field, as well as shooting weapons. She also found that she had some leadership skills, in addition to an ability to break down an M60 machine gun in less than two minutes.</p>

<p>She likes her journey so much that her next assignment is grad school, after which she’s heading to West Point to teach the next generation for a few years.</p>

<p>“We’re really proud of them,” said Terry Grider, a retired teacher and football coach at York High School in Elmhurst.</p>

<p>With both their children stateside for now, Terry and Danette Grider are sleeping a bit easier in their Tudor-style home in Lombard.</p>

<p>“I think our happiest day was when we took our star out of our window,” Danette said.</p>

<p>While that sign of having a relative serving in a hostile area came down, another symbol, one recognizing soldiers still serving in the Middle East, remains.</p>

<p>“We have a flag outside and we have a spotlight on it every night,” Danette Grider said. “It will stay out there until they bring all of the soldiers home. And I’m hoping that’s very, very soon.”</p>

<p><a href="mailto:kgrondin@dailyherald.com">kgrondin@dailyherald.com</a></p>

<p>Great Post, Mot!!!!!!</p>

<p>Great Post!!</p>

<p>shogun,</p>

<p>I sometimes wonder if we get all caught up in looking for our Waldos and stressing about boots, underwear, buses, and other things that are so important at the time. But when we put it in perspective and realize that we will be wearing some very different shoes in just a few short years, I think we'll have very real reasons to stay awake at night. In the meantime we can miss them, enjoy looking at their "camp" pictures, send boodle, and provide all the support possible. And keep hoping and praying for peace.</p>

<p>Here! Here! Momoftwins. Brought back down to this real earth with one post. Thanks for sharing the article. Thankful for my blessings this late evening. Thankful for our kids who want peace for themselves and for us & thats why they do what they do. They pretty well hung the moon for me.</p>