A plebe parent's perspective

<p>I posted this on our USNA site - but I know many other Service Academy families can relate to this...so here goes:
As we parents reflect on this year for our midshipmen at USNA....I had an experience this weekend that certainly put things in perspective for me. I thought I would share it with you all.</p>

<p>My husband and I once every few months plan a local motel ‘night away’ simply as a fun way to reconnect away from the ‘normal’ course of our lives. We live in San Diego County about 15 min. from Camp Pendleton.</p>

<p>Last Friday was the last day of the academic year for our midshipmen. As Plebe parents we, of course, were rejoicing with our daughter that she at long last – had completed her first academic year there at USNA. Many other parents of Youngsters through Firsties were all experiencing their own milestones as a result of last Friday.</p>

<p>As we were checking into our Oceanside, CA motel – I observe a family pull up. They are driving a huge pick-up truck, pulling on a flatbed trailer a black sporty car. I note that both vehicles have Texas plates and military stickers. The family looks in their early 40’s, what I think consists of a mom, dad and young 3-4 year old.</p>

<p>While we were waiting for check-in together I begin a casual conversation:</p>

<p>“So are you relocating?”</p>

<p>“No, we’re here because our daughter is coming home from Iraq tomorrow”, the mom replies.</p>

<p>“When did she leave?”</p>

<p>“Last August.”</p>

<p>At this point my heart is tugged with the realization that the entire school year which so consumed our family - adjusting to life as a Plebe parent – one which so overwhelmed me as a mother of our youngest child leaving at 17 ½ years of age to head 3000 miles away to Induct into the US Navy and start her live at USNA – That entire time here was a family dealing with a daughter in Iraq. I continue.</p>

<p>“Is that her car you’re towing out there?”</p>

<p>“Yes it is,” the mom says, “And this is her son – we’ve been caring for our grandchild while she has been deployed.”</p>

<p>I look at the T-shirt he is wearing. It shows a US map and an Iraq map with a pointed arrow stating: “My mommy is over there”. I have to bite my lip to not start crying – why I am not even sure – but my tears want to flow with joy, with wonder, with gratitude and with the understanding that here is an American mother with a daughter in the military that has just borne a much greater burden than I have for the past 8 months and I feel humbled by this reminder. I thought back over my mother’s hearts’ anxieties over Plebe Summer, the worries about how my daughter would handle her crazy schedules, the stress of Saturday morning trainings, the study, the night duty, the chow calls, chopping, come-arounds, classes, all the things that made her college experience so different from my other four. I remembered how everyone told us this year would be a roller coaster, as indeed it was. But suddenly, what I had until this moment thought was a real “E-ticket” ride for my roller-coaster year, stood for what it really was. Compared to what this family had been experiencing at exactly the same time, my roller coaster was a nursery school mock-up like one found at a grade school bazaar. </p>

<p>By now our check-in is complete and I thank them for their family, their daughter’s service. I tell them one abbreviated sentence about our connection to the military. I am unusually subdued. Hmmmm, usually I can’t wait to bring into my conversations that we are proud parents of a USNA Midshipman. This time, the total focus appropriately needs to be on this family and their achievements. I dare not step into that precious spotlight. </p>

<p>I went to our motel room thinking about this snapshot of America – that so often we don’t see. A little boy, a mother far away, grandparents – sadness, worry, waiting...and finally the joyful anticipation of an hours-away reunion.</p>

<p>The story didn’t end there as yesterday morning I got up before 7am to pad to the motel lobby for a hot cup of coffee. It was a typical April beach morning in Oceanside – foggy, dreary, chilly. I look across the parking lot and that black sports car is now off the back of the trailer. There is the father with a chamois, rags, polish, wax – lovingly polishing the chrome wheels on the tires of the car. I could tell he had been at this for awhile as the rear tire was already gleaming and he was working on the front one. Instead of the dusty car I saw yesterday, the paint sparkled. The windows even in the drizzle were crystal clear. He must have been up already for hours detailing this car. This was an act of love as only a father could do for the daughter he is clearly so proud of.</p>

<p>I almost felt like I was lurking on a very private moment – quietly walking past, observing this act. It touched my heart in a way no spoken words could have.</p>

<p>This time, tears flowed freely. Why? I’m still not sure – except to say that I could only imagine what his daughter would say when she saw not only her son and her parents, but her showroom-looking car. I pictured what that family reunion would be like later in the day, knowing it would be filled with joy, hugs, and yes, tears.</p>

<p>As a mom of someone training to serve in our Armed Forces, this experience certainly helped put this year in perspective for me. I am grateful and proud to be a mom of a USNA midshipman – connected to you all in our wider USNA family.</p>

<p>God Bless America.</p>

<p>peskemom,</p>

<p>Thanks for posting this. Yup, I'm crying at work again. And I know why. Our family is just about 1/2 way through the service academy part of this journey. The reality of deployment is closer each and every day. I'll remember to polish her car before she returns to the U.S.</p>

<p>Wow, thank you so much for the post. </p>

<p>I haven't been as much of a regular at CC as in the past, but I couldn't let this one go by. That whole family is just a small part of our country, but it's small parts like that, and the people who sacrifice for our country, that makes us great.</p>

<p>Gotta admit, that one brought a tear to the old eye.</p>

<p>Enjoy your upcoming visit at the yard with Peske daughter. Heck, give her a hug for me. I know I'm going to give mine a hug in the morning, just because.</p>