My parents told me that unless I go to a top 10 school listed on US News or the local university that’s basically in their backyard (it’s about 10 min. away), they won’t contribute a single cent to my college education. The problem is that there is no way I am qualified to go to a top 10 school, and the local university is the last university I would ever go to. It’s not a bad university, it’s just way too close to home. And I live in a town where there is literally nothing to do. NOTHING. Almost the most boring city you could imagine. There is no way I’m going to this university. I’m trying to get away as far as possible.
Is there any way I can go to college and pay for it all by myself? Without getting a ton of scholarships because I probably don’t have that kind of merit? Is it possible to work a part time job during college and take on student loans, therefore not relying on my parents at all?
(P.S. How do I tell them that I hate how their mentality is “WHERE YOU GO TO COLLEGE MATTERS THE MOST IN YOUR LIFE! IF YOU GO TO THE TWELFTH BEST UNIVERSITY, WE’RE STILL NOT PAYING FOR IT!”?)
“Is there any way I can go to college and pay for it all by myself?”
This would be exceptionally difficult. The amount of debt that you would need to take on would haunt you for years, if not decades. Also, you would not be able to borrow enough without an adult (probably parent) cosigner. The amount of hours you would need to work would be a huge drain on the effort that you need to put into your studies.
Can you tell us what the local university is, and what it would be likely to cost you? Also, your unweighted GPA and SAT or ACT scores might give us some more context.
By the way, where you go to university does NOT matter the most in your life.
It sounds like they want you to apply to top 10 schools and use the local college as a safety. Will they allow you to live on campus or make you commute? What state are you in? Some have very good public universities.
As other posters have pointed out, the answer to your question depends on your stats and what state you live in. As an example, the COA of the state flagship where we live is about $26,000. Even high state in-state students don’t get any scholarships, so lets assume the same for your state. The least expensive state school in our state has a COA of $14,500. They offer quite a bit of merit aid, and the bar is much lower that the flagship, so a good student could get a full tuition scholarship, bringing the COA down to about $7,000. So if you were to take the maximum loan, $5,500, you would need to earn $1500 to make up the difference. So yes, it would be possible to put yourself through that particular school.
I would start by asking your parents why a top 10 school? These are expensive schools, so this doesn’t really make a lot of sense. There has to be something else going on, you need to find out what that is.
Sure. Graduate from HS, and get a full time job. Put ALL of the money you earn in the bank except what your parents ask you to pay for rent. Do this until you are 24 years old. You will be independent for financial aid purposes by that time…so you will be an additional $4000 in Direct Loans each year.
You will probably still need to commute from home because your money saved will probably only cover tuition.
Will they let you stay on campus at the nearby school? Would they pay the amount for the nearby school someplace else if you can get the cost to the same level?
That said, as a college student, there is likely stuff happening on campus that you don’t know about or can’t participate in that will be open to you if you go to the local school.
Oh… ask if US News top 10 LACs count (maybe you can get into one of those).
They will pay for the local Uni, call that a win. I expect they know you are not tippy top material if you do. What uni is in the most boring town EVAH?
You can spend all day at the local uni and just come home to eat and sleep.
Or maybe your parents will pay for dorming there.
Even just living away from home costs a lot of money, let alone adding in tuition, fees, books.
That kind of money you cannot earn by working part time. And you cannot work full time and go to school full time.
The only school you might be able to afford would be a community college and then you would still have to transfer to a more expensive school to finish a bachelor’s degree.
If your parents will pay for the local uni without you having to take loans, consider yourself lucky.
You can live your adult life away from home once you have a degree and a good job.
Many college grads have to live with their parents AFTER graduation to pay off their student loans.
It sounds like your parents know exactly who they are dealing with. They said that they will only pay for a U.S. News Top 10 or the local state U because they already know that you do not have the stats to get into a top 10 school.
They also know that you do not have the stats to get in to a private or OOS public school with merit.
Perhaps this comes from them getting on your case for the past 3 years about your grades and your work habits that they have decided they are not going to invest big dollars for you to do more of the same. I have parents who tell me every day that they are not paying for their child to go away to school, when they can’t take care of their academic business while living at home. The scenario you present is nothing new. Going away to college and living in the dorms if it is 10 minutes a way or 10,000 miles a way is a privilege and now a right
However, take solace in the fact that they are willing to pay for you to attend college, but this means that you will be attending locally. It may mean that they will allow you to dorm, or it may mean that you will go to school during the day and sleep at home at night.
Unless you become independently wealthy, you cannot attend college without their assistance. You have already stated that you do not have the grades for merit $$… Your should be to go to the local school, do your best, show them what you are really capable of doing and then revisit the possibility or dorming or increasing the budget so that you can go a little further away.
What are your stats? + What state do you live in?
<= These are the most important questions.
Do they mean on Forbes? USNWR? Money? (If they don’t have a particular one, pick the listing you like best).
Do you have savings?
Do you currently have a job?
What is your local university?
Are your parents by any chance immigrants? (Because this behavior is frequent among recent immigrants who don’t know the us system).
Is there a church member, community elder, or ‘pillar of community’ whom they respect who would talk to them?
What do you know about their notions of affordability? Have they run the Net Price Calculators for all of these places? Maybe the local U is the only thing truly within their budget.
My parents told me that unless I go to a top 10 school listed on US News or the local university that's basically in their backyard (it's about 10 min. away), they won't contribute a single cent to my college education. <<
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So … in other words, your parents are willing to pay for you to attend a top university, or the local university. That’s very generous of them and that’s good news for you.
It also means they won’t waste money on expensive private schools or OOS public U’s when there is a good local option that will save $10K-$15K per year on room and board. Living at home will save you and your family $40K-$60K over 4 years. They sound like smart parents as well as generous. You are lucky to have them.
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It's not a bad university, it's just way too close to home. <<
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That is not a good reason to reject a school.
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And I live in a town where there is literally nothing to do. NOTHING. Almost the most boring city you could imagine. <<
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Rubbish. You live in a college town. There is always something happening on campus.
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There is no way I'm going to this university. I'm trying to get away as far as possible. <<
With money, they have absolute veto power over your college choices unless/until:
You are independent for financial aid purposes (typically means age 24, US military veteran, or married).
You earn a full ride merit scholarship or close to it, so that you do not depend on their money (or financial aid cooperation).
Now, it is not clear whether your parents’ preference for you to attend the local university is a cost matter or a control matter. You may be able to find out which it is if you find a lower cost other university and ask them if that is acceptable. The answer will reveal whether it is a cost matter or control matter.
Your choices are limited if you are not qualified for a top-10 school. As others noted without your academic stats, it is hard to opine. But you simply can’t (and don’t want to) take out enough debt to cover 4 years of college. As I see it:
–You can look into colleges where you may qualify for a full scholarship - here is one site to look at but you need to update the information by checking the college’s websites http://competitivefulltuition.yolasite.com/
–I would discuss if they would support your going to the state flagship – this would be a more modestly priced option which would offer a very good education and many opportunities.
–You can make the most of your local college, get involved on campus and spend very little time at home, excel at your studies, develop relationships with professors etc.
–I typically don’t recommend going to a college with the intention of transferring, but if you excel at the local college perhaps you can transfer to college that your parents will agree ti send you to.
And I understand that the local college is far from ideal, but think of how many people in the world would love to have ANY four year college paid for. Being closer to home than you want may not be your dream, but it is not a reason to reject a college outright.
With college costs being so high, I was concerned about the Return on Investment and I wouldn’t be surprised if your parents are too. The assumption is that a Top 10 school will open doors for you that other schools won’t, and that if you don’t get into one of those schools, you should go to the less expensive option in your backyard. If this is what is going on, and if your parents are reasonable people (I know you just had a fight and you’re thinking that they aren’t right now), you should be able to show them that there are other, additional, schools that have excellent Rates of Return on their investment for the degree.
Looking at the “Return” portion of the Rate of Return equation, if you know what you’re interested in studying in, you can find the better schools for that major. Besides looking at the USN&WR ranking for that particular major at that school, you can look at the actual outcome for those students. For instance, I was really happily surprised to see that a moderately ranked college local to me has some really excellent programs in several fields, and what makes the Return so high for these majors at this college is that besides strong teaching in those fields, the college has a really strong internship program for those majors.
Looking at the cost portion of the Rate of Return equation, some schools might end up costing a lot less than their sticker price due to generous financial aid awards, or full or partial merit scholarships. You’d need for your parents to run the Net Price Calculator (“NPC”) for some of the schools you might otherwise be interested in. I wouldn’t be surprised if you told your parents that you acknowledge their concern about cost, and asked them to run the NPC for some of the schools, they might do it. They might be pleasantly surprised. And if they aren’t, you know that you need to move onto just the merit part of the equation, and you know that you’ll need to study like crazy to get the highest standardized test scores and grades that you can. If you’re going for only partial merit rather than full merit, the scores necessary might be sufficiently low that this will be do-able for your family.
Also, I firmly believe that what used to be Top 10, is now really top 20 or 25. There are so many more highly qualified students, that the top tier has broadened. I think if your parents started to list the Top 10, they’d come up with more than 10 schools. Off the top of my head, they might not have Amherst and Duke on that Top 10, yet look at their student outcomes, and you’ll know that they are clearly top tier schools.
Mom and dad are paying for it, right? I don’t see a problem! Instead of arguing with them, be happy you’re going to college. Not everyone gets to go to their first pick, especially when it’s out of state. I went to a local university and I’m doing just fine in my career. It was a convenient and cost-effective option.
I might have missed it, but no one offered the obvious solution – apply to those two sets of schools. Get rejected from those two schools. It’s fairly simple.
Applying to top 10: They are crap shoots for every applicant. Your applicatin, can easily be rejected especially if you tarnish some of the essays
Applying to local uni -- mess up that application too. It's not that hard!
All you’d need to do, then, is to find several other colleges that are in the price range of your parents’ choice of schools. Also apply to those. Tell your parents “I love your ideas. I’m applying to the schools you want. But since colleges are difficult to get into, I think I need to apply to these other five schools, just in case.”
At the end of the admissions cycle, one of your five schools will accept you and you’re good to go.
Especially if you find shcools in the same price range as the ones your parents have targeted.
Use College Navigator for that – press on the “net price” tab.
