<p>eyeamom, I advise you start talking to the discharge people at the hospital now. You can’t do the level of care/rehab she needs, so she will have to be discharged to somewhere that can. You need to set up a plan that will work.</p>
<p>Yes, don’t wait until discharge day to start talking to the case manager. Make it very clear that the family will not be able to care for her at home.</p>
<p>Has she been hospitalized for at least 3 nights? </p>
<p>Welcome, but sorry you are here (in some sense anyway), subtropic.</p>
<p>Eye mom, sounds very scary. </p>
<p>I haven’t been posting because I poured a cup of coffee in my brand new (2 month old) MAC and I don’t like to type on the iPad. Sorries in advance for any auto correct gaffes . </p>
<p>Ugh, esobay, sorry. My daughter did the same but her macbook was 4 years old.</p>
<p>Oops Eso, wish you were a college kid with dorm insurance so you could get a new one…</p>
<p>My parents have a strong offer on their house. I’m happy for them, but really sad that there probably won’t be any more summer dinners on the deck with everyone talking and laughing. They (and by extension Sibs and I) are extremely fortunate that they happened to live in an area where homes went up in value (some of my friends are dealing with family homes in Detroit or other depressed areas). They can buy something smaller and net enough to probably pay for any worst-case scenario of needed care.
I’m thrilled for them…but still sad at the ending of this portion of our family life. Feels like of like Parenthood… </p>
<p>Yes, mom has now been in 3 days. It sounds like they’re thinking another 4 to take care of the infection. The problem is this hospital is like a ghost town on the weekends so you always just have to wait until her dr is available and everyone is back on staff. I think it’s all still on wait and see mode and they do want to connect with her cardiologist to make sure they don’t do anything to make things worse. </p>
<p>Hi, SOS, thanks! My wife was in the mortgage business for 30+ years but my father didn’t think to ask her about it, even though she refinanced their mtg several years ago. We were able to intercede to at least get them with a reputable broker… of course, the first thing dad did was to go out and by new bedroom furniture and a piano! A reverse may make sense for some, not this case. Bad case of retail therapy. </p>
<p>Hi arabrab, eyeamom, lasma. Wow, you guys cover a lot of familar ground…</p>
<p>re: mom’s grief for my dad: they were not on good terms, it was a bad relationship, a love-hate thing. I moved her out of the house 3 years ago (hardest thing I’ve ever done… had to do it twice!) They should never have gotten married, but 72 years ago people stayed married. She was a bit upset for a few weeks but the anti-depressants seem to help. He was a very difficult person and alienated everyone in the family. I do miss him, but also feel relief.</p>
<p>re: refusing to have his second leg amputated: he called me before they took of the first one and said he wasn’t going to have the surgery, but the surgeon talked him into it. So, this 94 year old man went through 3 mos of rehab (although one doctor told me he only had a week to live!) expecting that he would walk out of there on a prosthetic. Everyone knew it wasn’t going to happen except him. He made the right decision.</p>
<p>My mother has chronic UTI recurrence. It can affect her dramatically. She actually had to be restrained in the hospital last year. There was no other acute physical problem. She went into a state where she can’t sleep, it has happened a couple of times, once after a seizure. She had a major subdural hematoma and brain surgery in 2004 that she survived (10 percent chance) and although her personality wasn’t affected it did affect her motor function… she’s very frail, but the motor function issue is not that noticeable unless she’s under the weather, then that’s what goes out. </p>
<p>But, yeah, we’re surviving… may have to work a few more years than originally planned.</p>
<p>Fortunately, son is one of those kids who get’s A’s with minimal studying. It gets into his brain by some unknown process, osmosis maybe. He’s kinda lazy but has a goal: PHD in economics. Hoping for some extra scholarship money.</p>
<p>@subtropicus, does your mom take antibiotics every day to prevent the UTIs? I have taken nitrofurantoine for YEARS for that reason. My urologist, who is retiring this year and is very well-respected, told me he has never had a patient develop resistance to that antibiotic. If I miss even two days of the pills, I get another UTI!</p>
<p>@mainelonghorn, no. They monitor on a regular basis at her alf. They have given her cipro in the past, but I think macrobid more recently. </p>
<p>I was just thinking that if she could avoid the UTIs entirely, she wouldn’t have the serious problems associated with them. My mom had a round of UTIs last summer that definitely caused some dementia. It was scary!</p>
<p>It turns out mom does have a new compression fracture. Apparently they need to get her through the cipro treatment first, then I supposed address the back issues. She literally cannot move without severe pain, and my sister says she is on heavy duty pain meds. She has been to dr’s over and over for back pain issues with no resolution. It seems like it is now coming to an unglued head. I don’t have any idea how you recover from a compression fracture in your spine. </p>
<p>Me neither. 
Sorry, eyeamom. My guess is future treatment will focus on pain mitigation and trying to prevent it from getting worse. </p>
<p>Welcome subtropicus. Quite the complicated roads many of us our traveling. It helps to have company and hear ideas. </p>
<p>Eyeamom- So sorry about what your mother and the family on going through with all of this. Even if the goals for medical care are modest, it can still take a lot of navigating to sort out multiple issues simultaneously. I hope your mother’s doc can give you a clearer picture of what to expect. It helps a lot with planning to translate the diagnosis into impact on daily functioning.</p>
<p>ML- UTIs are a bear. And not just in the elderly. </p>
<p>Best to all. </p>
<p>OK- funny story, I decided to order flowers for my mother at her assisted living for her birthday as a surprise. I am a planner, so I ordered it on online last night for 2 weeks from now so I would not forget as I will be working on the weekends. They delivered it today! My mother who has dementia said- oh for my birthday I got flowers. She was not even bothered that they were early ( not sure she figured that out) and loved them. I did call the company and they are delivering another set of different flowers in 2 weeks on her birthday at no charge. </p>
<p>How great – you get to make her happy twice! That’s a nice story, rockymtnhigh.</p>
<p>Subtropics - Welcome. It’s amazing what your mom has gone through and lived through it with her personality intact.<br>
Many, if not most very elderly make the choice your dad did. </p>
<p>ML - Chronic treatment for UTIs is a bit controversial. Nitrofurantoin (Macrobid) doesn’t really cure an infection, mostly keeps it “at bay” (bacteriostatic as opposed to bacteriocidal) which is why it comes back so quickly and doesn’t cause resistance. So glad it works for you.</p>
<p>eymamom- Compression fractures are tough. There is a procedure that you can inject a cement into the vertebrae to treat the fracture and “bulk up” the collapsed vertebrae. However, a clinical trial comparing that procedure to not doing anything hasn’t shown any difference. They do seem to get better but are very painful. So sorry your mom is dealing with this. </p>
<p>RMH - How wonderful your mom will get flowers twice!</p>
<p>RMH - I haven’t ever had good luck with online florists. I’m sure it will cheer up her room having flowers.</p>
<p>Years ago my mom talked about the cement, but back then she wasn’t a candidate so I doubt she’s done anything but gone downhill. I think all they can do for her is to keep her still and give her pain meds while it heals. They’re not even going to address it until the infection is gone. I’ll be there wed & thursday when this next phase gets addressed so hopefully we’ll hear about some kind of plan or dx. Right now there is none that we know about. Everyone is getting nervous, particularly about them moving her to a nursing home to recover. She so far has never gone to rehab, but this time it really won’t be possible to give her this level of care. The worst part is that me and the brother and sister who live up there are all going away next week. There are still some nieces and close family friends around, but not quite the same. Hopefully the next phase is set before we go.</p>
<p>Getting flowers twice! Score! usually florists will resend flowers if there is a mis-delivery or the flowers are unsatisfactory for some reason. </p>
<p>When an older adult has an acute confusional episode of some sort, the first thing to rule out is a UTI. they are nasty in older adults, and often the person is asymptomatic (non of the urgency or painful urination that often accompanies a UTI. </p>
<p>Eyeamom- if it is at all encouraging, we have had excellent support from skilled rehab stay post-hospitalization with our elders in a range of circumstances. It is often hard to know how far down the recovery road someone can go, so time to assess, in addition to the rehab itself is important. Even without a broken bone, elders’ muscles waste very quickly when bedridden and regaining the strength for ADLs is critical to managing at home. Best to go straight from the hospital and know she can leave when it makes sense. Aftercare at the hospital should know the best places and you can double check their ratings for peace of mind. </p>
<p>Sorry for all these challenges! </p>