I’m sorry for your loss. It’s nice that her sons were able to comfort her during her final days.
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As much as one can mentally prepare for a parent’s death, it is still a great loss. DH and his brother were together this morning with a wonderfully sunny day taking a walk and reminiscing.
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Oh, @SOSConcern, I’m so sorry. 
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So sorry @SOSConcern. Thank goodness the family was able to say their goodbyes.
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I’m so sorry @SOSConcern.
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My condolences, @SOSConcern. May her memory be a blessing.
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@SOSConcern so sorry for your loss. Take care~
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@SOSConcern sympathies and thoughts go your way
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So sorry to hear this. My condolences.
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Dad passed away in his sleep last night.
The last two days, he had been noticeably weaker, along with disorientation and total lack of appetite.
I am so glad I was able to be with him to help. My emotions are a big jumble. Relief that he isn’t suffering, and that the stress of caring for him is over. That makes me feel as though I am ungrateful, but I can honestly say that this has been the most stressful time of my life. I was actually much sadder last week, I guess fully realizing that he wasn’t going to last long.
I spoke to my stepmom this morning, and that was far worse than I imagined, because she is totally devastated. Listening to a broken-hearted spouse is so sad.
I want to thank all of you for the support. I feel lucky that we haven’t had to endure what many of you have gone through, and to all who are still going through the long haul, hang in there. Find support in whatever way you can. This thread is an incredible resource.
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@lindagaf condolences. It is an emotional roller coaster. Having the passing in one’s sleep is a blessing. MIL also passed in her sleep, 4 am.
One only has one dad and one mom (however some have step-parents that are just as close/important) - so that is a significant loss. It is stressful as a caregiver, but also one’s involvement is part of the giving/grieving process too.
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So glad you could be with him.
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Oh, @Lindagaf, I am so sorry. May you find comfort in your good memories. Relief is a common emotion/feeling. Know that you have been a blessing to him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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@Lindagaf - I’m so sorry! You and your family will be in my thoughts. I’m glad your dad passed peacefully and is now at rest.
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@Lindagaf @surfcity @SOSConcern
Sorry for your losses, it is a strange time, depending how it went and depending on their condition, it could be a relief or it could be devastating, in either case, it’s a lot of emotion to deal with.
It’s been 18 months since my last parent died, many years living with us and the last few years were rough with dementia. It was honestly and truly a blessing when death finally came. I am only now, finally, beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel after all the physical, financial, and emotional care. It’s been a long, hard road and a surprisingly long recovery. That sounds so dramatic and whiney, I’m not claiming to be a victim or anything, it was just all weighing me down much more than I knew.
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@somemom the brother that lived nearest and did the most was surprised at the wave of emotions with ‘decompressing’ after dad passed in Dec and mom yesterday. He may have thought he was a bit immune, dealing with the day to day, and also in his profession (Pharmacist). His parents were genuine middle class folks, with the mom as the backbone of the family - and she took great pride in their sons.
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@Lindagaf I am so sorry for your loss. It is a lot to process, especially your ambivalence about his suffering being over and the stress of caring for him also being over. Perfectly normal to have a “jumble” of emotions. I have found that journaling has helped me process things - there are only so many times I can ruminate to my spouse what is inside my head.
Be kind to yourself in the days and weeks ahead.
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@surfcity, ruh-roh, am I supposed to limit my spousal ruminations? Failed that one.
@Lindagaf I’m so sorry. Glad you were able to be with your dad in his last days. My condolences.
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@Lindagaf - I am sorry for your loss. Good to have been there for support. True about the range of emotions: grief, relief, re-visiting better times, exhaustion. Take good care.
@SOSConcern- sorry for the loss of your MIL. That is a lot to navigate, especially in a short time frame.
While my parents lived in a wonderful, multi -tiered senior care community, I was the primary family caregiver to each of them. When each of them died (11 years apart), it was strange to realize that there was no more I could do directly for them. The process takes awhile, even when you know you did your best and that it was an end to their suffering.
Best to all the caregivers here. This past year added layers of challenges to already complex situations.
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