D24 is getting ready for her AP Chem exam next Monday. They’ve been taking practice tests in class and she’s been consistently scoring a 3, within a question or two of achieving a 4. The goal is to hit a 3, as I’d like her to have the satisfaction of passing, but she has no intention of trying to “test out” of taking introductory chem again in college, since she’ll likely need the refresher and foundation for most of the majors she is considering.
She’s then taking the SAT again the following Saturday. She finally picked up her notes and starting looking them over again for the first time since the night before the March test. Her goal with this one is just to have a second test to potentially score higher in either area…her verbal score on the March test was lower than her PSAT and every practice test she took, and she had walked out of the test saying the verbal section was the hardest she had seen. So, I think she is hoping to bring the verbal up to where she knows it can be. Either way, this is it for the SAT for her.
On another note, socially, things are pretty terrible for D in HS this year. We keep reassuring her that college will be better. I’ve mentioned before that D24 has mentioned “having things to do” is very important to her on her list of college priorities. I used to think that meant she needed/wanted to be in a city or on a campus with lots of programming, but I’m coming to realize what she really means is “finding my people.” So, when looking at priorities for what she wants/needs in a school, “fit” has definitely ascended to the highest priority for us.
I hear you on fit and friends. I’ve written before on the rocky time my D21 had socially in high school. Part was due to Covid, but also I think that she made her friends in elementary and middle school, and she didn’t fit in with them any more. It could also be D21’s kind of unusual combination of traits. She’s intellectual and geeky, but has a learning disability, and wasn’t shooting for “Top-20” colleges. Also, she’s social and relationship focused, but doesn’t drink and leans introvert.
When we visited colleges, we ate in the dining hall, people watched, and read the flyers around campus to try to gage “fit.” The best visits were when a current student from our high school showed her around and talked about the vibe. Once we had a list of schools that worked in general and financially, I think she made her decision based purely on her gut. It worked out, and she feels surrounded by “kindred spirits.”
This sounds so much like my D22. Socially she never found her people in K-12. She had friends here and there but not a group or anyone she did a ton with. She knew she wanted college to be different and focused very much on fit. Fast forward to the end of her Freshman year and she now has that group she always hoped for. It happened quickly and easily. She clicked instantly with her two roommates and they are now some of her best friends and they will room together again next year. I very much hope your student has a similar experience. I think it’s highly likely they will as they will be motivated to make friends and there are just so many more people to choose from in college and most everyone is starting over again as far as making friends.
Thank you for sharing - always helpful to hear there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Question for both you and @Malsandhuskies Would you mind sharing the size of the school your D ended up at? I’m struggling as to whether I think a large school with lots of options of people would be better, or a smaller school, with more of a community feel (I’m leaning toward the bigger schools).
Good luck to your D24 with her AP Chem test and the SAT!
My D24, like yours, has talked about wanting to have “things to do” at college…and we, too, learned recently that what she really meant was “I’m worried about not being able to make friends and then having to do everything alone and being miserable.”
We’ve found 3 options which, so far, she’d be pretty happy at. 1 is a big school, the others are around 1500 students.
Both of my kids have asked me in the past about how I made friends in the dorms. I’ve told them how, internally I am pretty introverted. But freshman year at college, my #1 fear was having to eat in the dining hall by myself, so I forced myself to go walk up and down my hall around mealtime and ask everybody if they wanted to go eat. I always ended up with somebody who said yes.
I’ve also told my kids about other random stuff that I did which seemed to work, like:
propping your door open whenever you’re in your dorm room.
purposely studying in a common area where there’s lots of foot traffic. Invariably, somebody you sort of know or recognize will stop by to say hi, chat briefly, maybe invite you to join them on something.
how pretty much every “meet your fellow college student” conversation goes amongst freshmen (what’s your major, where are you from, what classes are you taking, etc.)
when the RAs put on events at the dorm, participate in them.
when somebody asks you to join them on some sort of activity/thing to do, sometimes say yes even if you don’t feel like it 100%. Why? It’s a way to get to know more people and when you try new things, that’s how you’ll end up “finding your people.”
First, he totally forgot to turn in his French homework by a week! Got a notice from his teacher about it… there goes 4.0 GPA…
Next, S24 will be doing life guard at community pool during summer. He was all ready after the HR manager said “You are Hired!” a month ago. Only thing left was to confirm his assigned time slots that they asked him two weeks ago, which had the deadline being… last Friday.
Being S24, knowing how he might forget about it, I made him put it on the fridge calendar, as well as his calendar app. In the morning I reminded him twice…
This morning got an email from the community center about no time card slots assigned and begining of a week long probation period when he starts!
That is not how you want to start your first ever job, kiddo…
D22’s school is about 7000 undergrads. I love the 6000-8000 range. I think she could easily have been swallowed up and overwhelmed at a huge school. I also think it might have been harder to find her people if the school was same size or smaller than her high school (2500).
Meant to mention that she ended up with a 3 on her AP Chem test so had to take Chem again in college. She was bored first semester but it was an easy class so that was nice as she transitioned into college work. Second semester Chem has been new material so more challenging but also more interesting.
We had the same question about the size of the college! D21 ended up at a mid-sized school, about 7,000 undergrads. She likes that her friends from freshman year all still live within easy walking distance. However, her school is closing and renovating/rebuilding dorms for the next two years, so they won’t have enough on-campus housing for everyone who wants it. Off-campus but close to campus is very difficult and expensive to get, so her friends will be much more spread out for the rest of their time . It will be okay, it’s just such a shame that her class is pushed off campus as juniors and seniors, but won’t benefit because by the time the new dorms open, they will have graduated.
Watching D21 and her friends go through the housing stress has made S24 want a school that guarantees four years of on-campus housing, or has lots of relatively decent, inexpensive housing for rent within blocks of campus. All my kids have wanted a residential experience where you can easily hang out with your friends any time of the day or night without driving, parking, hassle, etc.
4 year housing guarantee and/or affordable housing nearby is important for us too. D22 has that at her school (Saint Louis University) and it takes away a lot of stress and should also help keep all her friends close by. I’m very sorry that your D21 had to deal with dorm closures and lack of affordable housing nearby! Definitely making sure to know the housing situation as D24 looks at school.
I am so happy for S24- he just texted me- got back his ACT scores (second attempt) and his composite score went up by 2 points. He is really happy. He walked out of there a couple weeks ago thinking the worst.
D24 got her second sitting ACT scores, she increased 4 points overall - composite of 30 (27 math, 26 science, 31 English, 35 reading. She has a seat for the June test, but is wondering whether to be done now or to try one more time to increase math/science.
She worked with a tutor Nov-Feb before the Feb test, and then did no further prep at all before the April test. She’s done many practice tests already, as well as targeted practice. I’m wondering how much her math can go up at this point, she has some lags in pre-algebra/algebra from poor teaching in 7th grade and then disrupted algebra due to no school during Covid shut downs in 8th grade.
She really wants to be able to submit the high reading score, she’s proud of it. My feeling is that as long as she has a seat for the June test, why not try to bring up math/science, but I also know that unless she can bring it up she will probably go TO for at least some of her schools, certainly for any reaches should she even decide to apply to reaches. Right now it looks like she will apply to mostly LACs with 40-80% admit rates with maybe (?) a couple reaches thrown in.
Anyone have opinions or thoughts?
ETA: I like to hang out in this group, but D24 actually has a 3.8 GPA. Because she’s not gunning for the most competitive schools, this group seems relevant. TIA
S24 brought his math score up by 2 points and science stayed the same. But English went WAY up (5 points) so his overall composite went up by 2 points which was totally worth him taking it a second time. He did a prep 1:1 tutoring (mostly for math) and seriously it was like pulling teeth to get him to do much of anything in between weekly sessions. But it obviously helped to take it a second time.He won’t need the Superstore since everything went up other than science, but if your D24 happens to go down or stay the same as the first score of 35 for reading, if a school superscores she keeps that 35. I would say have her sit for the June test and you can always tell her not to submit it if she doesn’t want to.
I totally get wanting to submit a score you’re proud of and that you should be proud of. I do think if the score is below the median range for the School it’s probably better to go TO. As far as retaking, I would let my child decide. I’d tell them nothing to lose except a few hours on a Saturday but up to them. This is what I am doing with D24 who has a seat in June SAT (albeit an hr away). She’s happy with her current score but knows any increase can only help her.
Good idea, I will leave it to her. Test site for this third round is over an hour away too. Very limited ACT sites in our area. My guess is that since she is already signed up for it, she’ll make one more attempt, knowing she can superscore.
Well, it’s crunch time now. D24’s 1st AP exam/final exam is in 5 days. She has a choir vocal assessment tomorrow morning, In & Out Burger interview Sun morning, regular 4 hr of hospital volunteering Sun afternoon.
We’re going to see Return of the Jedi this weekend since it’s in theaters this weekend for the 40th anniversary (makes me feel old! HAHA!).
Busy and fun! Good luck to her on the interview. We still have 6 more weeks of school here, but I know this time of year flies by, and then they’ll be seniors . How did that happen??
. It will be okay, it’s just such a shame that her class is pushed off campus as juniors and seniors, but won’t benefit because by the time the new dorms open, they will have graduated.
. How did that happen??