<p>Thumper, Violadad, and other parents of sons -- Did you give your son anything after his senior recital? I don't think my S would especially appreciate flowers, but I don't want to go empty handed, either. I wonder what other parents have done. (I've got a couple months to figure it out. :) Just thought I'd ask while I was thinking about it.)</p>
<p>The first thing I handed him was a cold bottle of spring water, and gave one to his accompianist as well. Then the wife and I got out of his way and let him bask in the admiration of his peers. It was probably 15 or 20 minutes before we saw him again.</p>
<p>In hindsight, probably should have had flowers that mom or sis could have presented, and I kick myself for not having a bouquet for his accompianist. My wife normally saves me from this type of social faux pas, but she was shaking more than son was.</p>
<p>We had offered to take him and whomever he played with out for dinner afterwards, but his was a fairly late start time for a Sunday night recital; he put the kibosh on that idea. </p>
<p>The major hassle was deciding what he wanted for post recital reception food, and for how many. We bit the bullet and figured food (typical veggie/fruit/cheese platters with an assortment of gourmet brownie and cookie platters) for the seating capacity of his venue, which worked out perfectly. </p>
<p>We were close enough geographically to handle the food and refreshment aspects; if we had left it to him, there probably would have 50 large pizzas with various toppings.</p>
<p>As a faculty member and attendee of many student recitals, I have not seen parents give presents to male offspring post-recital, though there may have been some commemorative gift privately given. If there are flowers, and these are rare for male students, they came from a female friend. Parents do put their energies into recital reception prep, and perhaps a centerpiece for the table could go home with the performer, though probably he would prefer brownies and/or lemon squares (which are surprisingly popular with students).</p>
<p>One does see males receive flowers in formal competition situations, where the flowers were on hand for whomever the winners were, and/or a recital in an important venue.</p>
<p>When recently in Vienna, only the tenor received flowers at end of performance at Volksoper, and another performer there said someone always gave him flowers, a claque situation, very peculiar considering his vocal effort (though not his good looks!)</p>
<p>We did not do flowers and a reception was difficult given our distance. We did go out for a late dinner after the recital with his pianist, his girlfriend and my husband's parents who attended.</p>
<p>Well...we didn't give a gift ourselves. But a good friend of ours did a digital video recording of the recital as a gift, and took still camera shots (he's a professional photographer) and DS was thrilled. I think I would have paid someone to do that as a gift to DS if we hadn't known a friend. We paid the pianist, and if the pianist had been a woman, we would have gotten HER flowers. The pianist was a guy. We planned a nice reception getting all the food at one of the local grocery stores (trays of mini sandwiches, wraps, two different dessert trays, fruit, and lemonade and ice tea (son's request on the beverages). Because we lived close enough, we also brought cloth table cloth, and the paper goods from here (gee Binx...when is the recital...I'm only 2 1/2 hours away). We invited the WHOLE extended family and basically treated the recital as DS's graduation event (he also made the request that folks come to the recital and NOT the graduation). The next morning, the whole extended family (there were about 30 at the recital, plus some friends too, and about 25 the next day...but not all the same people..) went out to a nice brunch as our treat. Most of these relatives came from out of town. It was a wonderful "graduation" weekend. We did our gift giving at graduation (WE did go to that).</p>
<p>We also paid to have the recital professionally recorded on DVD as both living grandparents have health issues that would not allow them to attend. It was money well spent. I thought the cost of $300 for edits, titles and four finished copies very reasonable; it was done through the school's media major department. We ended up being able to share the moment with family who could not be there.</p>
<p>Thanks, everyone. I would have never thought about flowers for the pianist! Maybe if the pianist happens to be male, I'll have my D give them both a flower, or a box of chocolate, or something.</p>
<p>His recital is Feb 1 (a Friday). You're all invited! :) I was kinda expecting to have to take a bunch of his friends out afterwards - that seems to be a tradition at school; I know several parents have taken him out. (I was hoping to get away with just dessert!) Unfortunately, they are not allowed to have receptions or food at the school.</p>
<p>I expect he will be hiring someone from the recording department to tape it. We will offer to pay for that. It is going to be an expensive weekend, I think.</p>
<p>His sister says she would like to go to NYC that weekend, and skip graduation. Hopefully she won't have any performances of her own at the time. I don't know if any other family members will go or not. I just hope we don't get snowed in or out!</p>
<p>What about a cookie bouquet? same idea, more appealing to a male, more fun?</p>
<p>Violadad...my son told me not to fuss about the reception. He said if it had been up to him, he would have gotten a few boxes of fig newtons and a couple of bottles of Dr. Pepper. </p>
<p>Binx...our daughter was in CA in college. We flew her to Boston for the recital. The plane ticket was her birthday gift (she REALLY wanted to come...), and we insisted that she not tell her brother so it would be a surprise for him. He did not expect to see her at the recital. I have to say...the look on his face when he saw her....well....PRICELESS.</p>
<p>Singersmom - I've never heard of a cookie bouquet. I'll have to Google it! Lorelei's comments make me think I need to figure out what is normal at his school. I need to balance on that line between surprise and embarassment.</p>
<p>Thumper, I agree - Priceless! We haven't said anything to S2 about sister coming. I did think I'd like to see if one of his female friends could house her for the weekend, to save a bit of money. I might be able to arrange that without his knowing. Since he doesn't want to talk to us ahead of time, it shouldn't be too difficult to keep it secret. His aunt and uncle want to come, too (the ones who live near D's school) so maybe they could fly together.</p>
<p>binx wrote: <i need="" to="" figure="" out="" what="" is="" normal="" at="" his="" school.=""></i></p><i need="" to="" figure="" out="" what="" is="" normal="" at="" his="" school.="">
<p>Each tends to have their customs, and when in Rome...</p>
<p>That's it in a nutshell. From what I saw and what s described, the reception food ran the gamut from a couple of plates of cookies and some drinks to full fledged hot spreads of fingerfoods. Late afternoon recitals tended to end around the supper hour, and those seemed to be the ones with the more elaborate spreads. The recitals starting earlier or ending later tended to go with lighter fare. Assigned venue and potential concerts or masterclasses scheduled concurrently with a recital often affected attendance numbers;
wafting food odors tended to draw hordes of voracious students just for the eats and not the performance. </p>
<p>Because of our relative proximity, it was just easier for us to deal with the food, rather than leave it to s, not the most logistically organized. We just wanted his input as to selection, and guessetimate as to the potential number attending. Believe me, I would have much prefered to take everyone out to dinner afterwards. I had also suggested making thirty or so pounds of ribs and bringing the festivities back to his studio apartment, but he declined. </p>
<p>If yours is anything like mine, he will be completely fixated on the rehearsals and repetoire and will be totally unresponsive or adamantly opposed to anything that would divert him from preparation and the most perfect performance achievable. He could have/should have invited some local mentors, and when I offered, he said he would handle it. He never did, and it ended up disappointing a number of his long time supporters.</p>
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<p>Yeah, I wondered if I will need to do any type of inviting. (Besides all my Invisible Friends (what my kids call you on CC).) The only thing S2 has mentioned is what kind of photo he wants on the cover of the program. He has a definite idea; just don't know if he will carry through on it. I am sure he will send out a facebook invite, too - knowing him, probably the day of, or day before! Since all the family live so far away, I am assuming that the audience will mainly consist of his friends there at school, and his teacher. I'm not expecting a huge crowd. I think he said it would be at 6:00, and I am guessing that is so his teacher can come, and still make NY Phil that evening.</p>
<p>Congrats -You will have a great event! Would love to come if possible. My HS S is having his jr. recital there 6 days earlier. Could you send us the program? </p>
<p>I'm pretty sure you need to arrange the recording through the recording dept's Bob Taibbi <a href="mailto:-rtaibbi@juilliard.edu">-rtaibbi@juilliard.edu</a>. You need to determine if you would like video or audio. I hadn't realized that the video option existed and my husband, who was in charge of that little detail, made a unilateral decision to go audio for our D. I regret not being able to see that DVD. Next senior recital, we go video.</p>
<p>Don't be surprised if a few family members show up unexpectedly. That happened to us at my D's senior (hs) recital. Two of my sisters flew the red-eye to attend and flew back less than 24 hours after they arrived. In addition to seeing their niece, I think they just wanted to see what Juilliard was like.</p>
<p>Obviously not the same as the senior recital from Juilliard (!!!) but we did have a reception after S's pre-college certificate concert last spring. It was really nice, since there were about 25-30 people in attendance, and we had dessert/fruit/drinks afterwards. For level 4 (this year) the recital is an hour, and I suspect that the reception may be even a little nicer, maybe. ;)</p>
<p>Congrats to your son, Binx. That is so exciting! And I have been posting long enough now that I remember when he was only in his second year!</p>
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Would love to come if possible. My HS S is having his jr. recital there 6 days earlier. Could you send us the program?
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Sure. Thanks for asking. I'll let you know when I know.</p>
<p>His work study for the first 3 years has been in the recording department, so I am going to let him work out all the details. In fact, he was one of the people in charge of recording other people's recitals. But it's nice to know that video is an option - I hadn't really thought about it.</p>
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I have been posting long enough now that I remember when he was only in his second year!
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What's really telling is that I found CC when he was a HS senior, and I was Googling from Germany to try to find out what he was supposed to wear to auditions! No music forum back then, but I got some hits on the musical theater pages. Time flies.</p>
<p>He had a senior recital in HS in lieu of a graduation party. He lived with my sister for the last half of HS senior year, while we were overseas. Since we were only home for a couple weeks, and didn't have a house to host a party, this worked out well. We used a church where a friend is on staff, and had a very nice reception in the basement - it was all Sams stuff, (along with some German chocolate we brought for the occasion) but was very nice. That's actually what prompted my original question, since we didn't give him anything at all after the performance, but he did the recital with a (female) friend who got several bouquets. And we all felt bad that he was standing there, watching her get all this acknowledgement (from her family members) and we didn't have anything for him.</p>
<p>I wish Juilliard would let us bring in food, but it's probably better that they don't - one less thing to worry about.</p>
<p>Are you aware that you can have a reception in a back room of the school cafeteria in the Rose Building? You must use their food that you purchase through their catering dept, although we did bring in some of our own. I understand there are other places fairly close to Lincoln Center that have the same thing, but I don't know what they are, and I didn't leave enough time to delve into it last time.</p>
<p>By the way, congats on the job offer! Can he take the job and continue auditioning throughout the year, or once he accepts does that pretty much exclude additional auditions this year?</p>
<p>No, I didn't know that. I'll have to ask him what he would like us to do.</p>
<p>He actually doesn't have a job offer - he was runner up. But yes, he could still continue auditioning. The job was only for a year, so whoever got it is still unemployed at the end of the year!</p>
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<p>Something we did that I didn’t see mentioned in earlier posts: DS was “of age”, so we presented him with a bottle of champagne, complete with bow when he came out for his final bow. That went over pretty well. He, in turn, presented accompanist with flowers.</p>
<p>As for the reception, we had fruit and veggie platters, crackers and cheese, water, soda, and a couple of bottles of wine. Leftovers were gratefully carted away by voracious students.</p>
<p>How funny that both recital threads were started by me. Worry, much? See my more recent recital thread here, that mtpaper has bumped: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/1117309-end-near-2.html#post12520486[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/1117309-end-near-2.html#post12520486</a></p>
<p>For the record, my S recently performed a concerto with an orchestra. At the end of his performance, one of his friends (another horn player who was sitting out this concert) presented him with a very bright bouquet of flowers, which S promptly stuck in the bell of the horn, to the audience’s approval.</p>
<p>So I guess it’s okay to give guys flowers.</p>
<p>However, both my performer kids requested that we not present anything after their recitals. With my D, we bought a bouquet for the reception table that she took home with her. (I brought a vase with me.)</p>
<p>Concerning recital fare, my D’s school tends to have smaller receptions. I went a bit overboard, I guess, last year, because this year when my D began hanging recital posters, the question she was asked most often was if she was going to have an amazing spread afterwards like last year. She had a much larger turnout this year - Do I get some credit? :)</p>