Just realized it’s been several months since I’ve posted anything here, although I have been reading along. Where does the time go? (Seems I’ve been asking myself this question more frequently lately …) Congratulations, positive mojo, and condolences to everyone, as appropriate.
We’ve been back in our happy summer place since the beginning of May. Spring seemed colder than usual and it has just been the last week or so that warmer weather has finally arrived. My golf game has been so-so, but it’s still fun and that’s all that counts. My “war on weeds” is never-ending, which my aging knees don’t appreciate. Something definitely has to change in the yard maintenance arena …
On the family front, my father turned 90 in May. As a gift my brothers and I split the cost of hiring a genealogist to research the paternal side of the family. (I may have mentioned this before.) What she determined, with very convincing evidence, is our last name was originally entirely different. I doubt we’ll ever know why my father’s grandfather, who arrived in the US in 1888, made such a drastic name change. We’re still holding out hope she’ll discover when and where he died on a trip back to Italy in the late 1920s/early 1930s.
Also in May, our S arrived back from a 6 month deployment in Kuwait. He said he enjoyed it, in spite of the intense work schedule. I get that in the relative scheme of things Kuwait isn’t the worst place he could have been sent, but I was still one happy momma to get the call that he was back. He’ll most likely be deployed one more time (April?) before he leaves the USAF. He and his gf may be having issues – always tough to see you child upset. As is his way, he won’t talk about it.
D and SIL are happily living the condo life in South Boston; both are beyond busy at work. H is also working hard to get his new company up and running – managed care for patients with diabetes. (H has a personal stake in this since his father lived with diabetes for 60+ years.) He’s near his goal on the initial round of funding; raising money has been a challenge. It seems as if investors are mainly interested in throwing money at latest high tech thing.
Happy Summer Solstice to all!
I’ve only been to a few “viewings”. Here mostly the funeral is close casket and the calling hours are open - unless there is an issue that makes it need to be closed. I will say that well to me they don’t look good/bad - just not there. My family for the most part as I became an adult just stopped doing funerals. Too many died so close together that they all just decided that when their time came they didn’t want anything done. Fine by me. I’ve told H that is the way I would prefer it unless he and the kids think that they need something.
CBB - glad you son came back! Hopefully next deployment will be also somewhere relatively safe! Good luck to you H on the new business.
DTE - hope you feel better! So sorry to hear about your BIL. Hopefully it’s nothing major.
BIL definitely has cancer. He has seen a doc in Boston. They are not telling their kids who are late 20’s to mid 30’s. yet. They tend to baby them. I think they need to know so they can plan. At least to know that in the future they may need to take time, or not book a vacation etc…
I’m so sorry to hear that, dte But I totally agree with you that the adult children should know.
DTE - so sorry and I agree with you that they should know. Always irritates me that even today we don’t get the “full” story on my MIL because she doesn’t want everyone to know. I mean really? She is 97. Her youngest is 52. I think they can all handle it.
BIL will get radiation and chemo to shrink tumor. I think they will tell the kids. now.
I have a question. If you were planning on leaving a job would you bother to tell them why? Especially if you know it wont make a difference?
The person in charge, thanked different people around me for helping in an emergency situation, that I had a large part of intervening in . I know she doesn’t like me. So I asked her if she was aware of what I had done because she thanked others but not me. She said she was aware , both of what I had done and that she had thanked others. Said sarcastically that she was sorry. I said “don’t want you to be sorry, just want you to know what I did” She walked away rolling her eyes. Lateral violence.
dte – so sorry to hear about your BIL. Cancer sucks, plain and simple. And “lateral violence” – haven’t heard the term before, but it certainly fits the situation. Good for you for speaking up. She sounds like a jerk, IMO.
I finally finished weeding all the planting beds; the sad part is I really should just start over at the beginning since the weeds just continue to flourish here. Tomorrow H & I tackle the windows. I love this house, EXCEPT when it’s time to clean the many, many windows… We’re hoping to do a “quick clean” this year.
@downtoearth -
If you are offered an exit interview, take it. Vent your heart out. What can they do? Fire you? When my prior company downsized, they offered the interviews to the first couple of people. Those people totally trashed my now former boss, which was SO well deserved. After that, they stopped offering the interviews. That boss is still there and my former co-workers, who survived the purge, are still miserable. While you are still there, can I suggest sending emails to memorialize every good thing you do? Example: “Dear Sucky Boss - Yesterday, I saved the company X dollars by doing Y” or “When the emergency arose, I did abc…” Send a bcc to your home email each time. I hope you find a better situation. When I was downsized more than 10 years ago, I was distraught. I hated my boss, Ms. Cruella Deville, but I managed to find a new job, which I love and where I am appreciated and where I hope to stay till I retire.
DTE - How hateful of that individual. She must not be a very nice person. I mean even if I don’t get along with someone if they do something good I acknowledge it.
More people are leaving here. Expected typically when school ends but it seems more than normal. I think some are just fed up. Still awaiting to hear from my other opportunity. They didn’t actually have the openings yet and expect to have them this summer. At this point I almost want to be here until raise/bonus time to see what I get. That is usually end of Aug/beginning of Sept. After that who knows.
Amazing how unpleasant/disrespectful people can be at work, DTE. After you leave, if there is no exit interview, it might be worth a letter to her boss or to HR about the last encounter. But, I typically believe in just letting things go.
Sadly, its not all that unusual, and its become so commonplace that I have a hard time knowing what to react to. Most of the time people just ignore it. its wearing.
I have been told I am too polite. Oh well.
Hugs, dte.
I would say something in the exit interview or if you have another opportunity to do so. My experience has been that I have always regretted not saying something in that type of situation.
I’m mulling what to say right now, as I’m in a similar situation, dte. I totally get the “what to say” question and the debate about when is enough, enough. I exited a paying position in December to do it as a volunteer instead, but the politics have become totally puerile and ridiculous, and I’m too darned nice. I need to explain that the reason I’m departing isn’t because of X – that event was just the culmination and the event that has enabled me to leave, guilt free. The bigger reason is that the problematic person is still within the organization, playing nice in mediation but stabbing people in the back nevertheless.
Counting Down, its a tough question. I think I will need to say something, but not having the expectation of change, just to make myself feel better.
D2 is engaged. her BF now fiancé proposed yesterday. They are so happy. Makes my heart happy. When did they get this old???
Congrats DTE on the new engagement.
I figure when I leave here (if retirement or going to another company) I will not be coming back so I’m going to be brutally honest. 
That being said no current plans on being “done”. I’m guessing a year or 2 more of work and then hopefully retirement. Now I don’t know if I will finish here or not. A few years ago I would have said sure but things have changed so much I know longer know if that is the case.
dte, I’ve given up on this organization changing. The person who is the real issue will win the battle, but the organization will lose the war. There are other places that will value my energies, and this give me the chance to do things that give me more personal satisfaction. I’m lucky to be able to walk away from it.
Congrats to your D , dte!
Hello! I miss hearing about everyone’s life both the good and the sad.
DIL and S are happily moved into their apartment and D is in her 3rd week of residency
and her 32nd or 33rd week of pregnancy. I think it has all been a little overwhelming for her.
SIL has done well with his job search and has one offer on the table and another he is waiting
for a final offer. We have seen quite a bit of them for dinner and SIL has been hiking with us.
D asked if we would give them a Sip and See party (?). New to me but about 6-8 weeks after
the baby is born we have a gathering of family, neighbors and friends to sip wine and see the baby.
This is instead of a shower.
We are having a heat wave. I have cabin fever. I suffer from heat intolerance year round but this
is just miserable. It is affecting the homeless people horribly as well as the elderly.
I have learned that is is no longer correct to say “homeless” but one must say “homeless person or
people” --this according to D. This also for any description of a person’s situation, ethnicity, etc.
LOL. She may be right but constantly being corrected is a drag.
@-). But I am getting it and got to correct H the other evening.
I hope those of you working are seeing an improvement with your situations.
A bad supervisor can ruin a perfectly good day. I look back at my last one (1995) and wish
I had gone to HR. He eventually was fired for various things which I was thrilled to learn.
I envy those of you with lake houses and boats! Oregon just does not have lakes like the rest
of the country.
Hope to hear how you and yours are doing soon.
Hi Oregon! Yes it has been quiet here. Congrats to your D and SIL. Sounds like they are getting things together.
My D and SIL have moved of course and are in their new house. Old house is sold and they have put up a privacy fence - more for the dogs than anything else and a new roof. They are now poor. That is what comes with home ownership however.
S and DIL and kids are doing great. They are trying to save to put an addition on their house. Not that their house is small but they just want a bit more room.
We are redoing our bedroom right now. Wallpaper has been stripped, walls patched (dratted wallpaper just didn’t want to come off nicely) and last night primed. I will pick colors when we get back from vacation.
Leaving tomorrow on our way to Cape Cod for a week. We will spend a night with H’s mother (save me!) and then on to the Cape. Kids and Grandkids will join us on Friday and we will have the entire week out there as a family. Should be fun. Not necessarily restful but fun.
Hope people on enjoying the summer. Sorry to hear about the heatwave Oregon - try to stay cool. It has been hotter than normal here as well but I refuse to complain after the really cold and snowy winter we had!
I just got home yesterday after 3 weeks on the road. First week I was working remotely while H attended a writing workshop, second week was study leave for H/vacation for me, where I met up with @Modadunn , third week was working at a university on-site. We also squeezed in a family reunion (H’s side) on one of the weekends.
Leaving Thursday for another work assignment in the UAE. My S is going to come and share my hotel room, so I’ll have a buddy to sight-see and dine with. His summer internship is ending Tuesday and he has a few weeks before his last year of law school, so the timing works.
D is enjoying living in London, although the recent heat wave isn’t fun. Her apartment has no A/C but fortunately her office does!
In June we had the items from my parents’ we had in storage moved up here, so we have boxes and stuff everywhere. I need to start putting things away and organizing things (when I’m home longer than a few days).They have beautiful furniture and art from all over the world, and when they moved into assisted living and had to downsize, I wasn’t ready to part with it.
Can’t believe it’s almost August!