<p>geek_mom, when does the come home?</p>
<p>Good Luck missypie! Iām sure it will all come together!</p>
<p>Lindz-Iwas thinking of you and how frightening it was. You absolutely did the right thing. How would you have felt to say nothing? I hope all goes well. You can sleep knowing you did all you could for that boy and to protect your D.
MY D has one elective now only , and AP Spanish graduation is on May 30. I have nothing to wear. and no desire to deal with that. I am also having some health concerns so that does not help. So I focus on what needs to get done and that helps, distract-distract-distract! Planning the party, my D wants to invite 70 kids, people say that is ok as people go in and out, but you still have to have the food right? My younger D hates Geometry, I need to look for some softwear to help. She says school is almost over, I say you need to make sure you understand it, She is a whiz at algebra. I guess sometimes it is an enigma to some. I took it so long ago I donāt remember. i also feel bad that all this college stress has transferrred to her and she worries a great deal about her grades, class rank etcā¦ She already stressed out to much. I really want to her to learn and enjoy her life, she will go to a good school.
I enjoy listening to most posts on CC, good info, I feel in my home life that either people are too competative or think you brag. Too much pressure. I am selective about what I say, even though I am a say it like it is person. Our kids are kids , so young. Analyst I see about your son, my oldest is like that, and it stresses me out although she usually lands are her feet, it can sometimes be the hard way. many more gray hairs this year. Prom is at a beautiful place this year, no after prom stuff though so we pick them up late so no co-ed stuff. Pre prom is at her school hope it does not rain. I am anticipating bu dreading too, To new beginnings, they came so soon, sigh!</p>
<p>Iāve been enjoying reading all of you lately. I love how supportive everyone is.</p>
<p>As for whatās been going on in our home, my son has been distancing himself, more than usual, and itās bugging me.</p>
<p>He was stage manager for the spring musical that showed last weekend, so except for periodic late night sitings, we didnāt see him for about two weeks. Maybe that was the setup. He is letting us know about things after they happen ā¦ like āOh, by the way, I got recognized as Student of the Month at last nightās award ceremony.ā We thought heād gone to his usual Tae Kwon Do class! Were parents invited? Yes they were. Ah hem ā¦ why werenāt we?</p>
<p>Earlier this week, I was hit with a barage of questions about coursages. I figured it was for the prom which is June 2 (of course, I STILL donāt know who his prom date is, only that heās going). I find out after he ordered a coursage itās for a junior for tomorrowās Junior Cotillion. When I asked him who she is, he said heād rather not say because he wanted to avoid āassumptions being made.ā What does that mean?</p>
<p>He signed up for college orientation without letting us know (75% parents of incoming Freshmen go to this thing) and I get a shoulder shrug when I ask him if heād like us to come.</p>
<p>All in all, the only time he actually talks to me now is to ask for money. Sounds like a bad movie line.</p>
<p>Is this part of the nest fouling? Weāre not fighting exactly. Heās pleasant in the house, that is, when heās here. He just isnāt telling us anything, even when questioned. Can anyone relate?</p>
<p>SueD: I can relate. I think this is one of many forms of how they announce āgrowing upā and discomforting, even hurtful as it can be at times, I think it is pretty normal. It is a dilemma when you have no reason to distrust your kidāand becoming inquisitorial would end up conveying that. Being extremely āprivateā isnāt the same thing as being āsecretiveāābut it sure does make us feel shut out just when we are feeling such a longing to connect and relate. I found this forum such a comfort when I was navigating this transition with my son (awhile ago). My daughter is a little more forthcomingābut just barely. Waaa!!! At the same time, seeing independence blossom is a good thing. And the one who was so āprivateā 4years ago is now much more willing to share and ask so the time comes around. Hang in there. Feeling āleft outā doesnāt mean you arenāt deep in their heart.</p>
<p>SueD weāre seeing some of that with D as well. Information is hard to come by these days. Iām checking the school website to see if there are things Iād like to know about, that I havenāt heard about. </p>
<p>I donāt feel like there is much to be done about it, sheās pleasant, willing to do what we ask of her, but not wanting to talk about much of anything. It is really hard as we want to be a part of these important last days of her senior year. I find it somewhat ironic that she still wants us to take care of scheduling her doctor and dentist appointments and all that non-fun stuff that none of us like to do. </p>
<p>At least I have plenty of things to keep me busy with preparations for graduation and grad party. I imagine it is her way of trying out her independence and perhaps her inner ambivalence at the changes ahead.</p>
<p>SueD, I should show my husband your post. He is under the impression that every other child tells their parents everything and that it is only our son who doesnāt. Son is in a huge group that have rented a limo for prom. For weeks weāve been bugging him for details - where do they meet the limo, what time, where are pictures. Yesterday morning, we finally emailed the āmom in chargeā with our questions. Yesterday afternoon Son pulled out an information sheet dated May* 4th*, which answered all of our questions. Husband said that made us look like idiots, but I just said it makes us looks like the parents of a son who doesnāt tell us anything.</p>
<p>Last night was academic awards ceremony and I was reminded of previous posts about twins and name mangling.</p>
<p>This year, counselors were horrific in pronouncing seniorsā names. And some of these kids were being called up 4-5 times! Top 10 seniors ā you would think their names would be familiar.</p>
<p>Most awards were announced in alpha order and counselor got to Twin A and called out a mismatched version of her (longish) name. Twin sat there. Everyone stared. Counselor tried again and missed. Twin sat there. Finally counselor got it right and Twin got up. Everyone cheered and applauded. I was so proud of her for making the counselor get her name right. Twin B was called by correct name.</p>
<p>PS - S walked 5 times and his name was pronounced correctly each time. I consider this a major triumph as we have 11 letters in last name and it throws many for a loop.</p>
<p>found out my D got invited to apply to a certain program at her University ON CC. However she is doing the homework and figuring out what to do. Which is what I would want-so positive, negative. I would tell your son in the future you would like to know. I explained to my D that this is very hard for me as well, and she needs to consider that. Although I find them to be rather single minded and a BIT narcissistic (LOL) Having been there to support them all this time, they should let you participate too , because it is closure for you as well.</p>
<p>Eggmom_LOVE IT! Kudos to Twin A!</p>
<p>I just think the klids need to be reminded we are people who have feelings too.</p>
<p>Hariett is the lucky one - I bet her little guy still wants her to come to everything. We have a 7th grader who still wants us to attend every event (it was deadly when she was volleyball manager!) It must be hardest on the ones who donāt have anyone younger at home.</p>
<p>Yes D2 still enjoys us. D1 has her moments. I still think I am lucky, I have a friend who is not sure her D will graduate, and then to ? go to CC. She still obeys rules. and is embracing new school and working on her senior project.</p>
<p>Iām always so pleased when it is evident that the readers at awards ceremonies, NHS inductions, etc. have practiced the names. We live in a diverse society and there are quite a few names that many of us still have to sound out. We may know a studentās name, but have never seen it written. Just like anything, you need to practice.</p>
<p>SueD: Normal behaviourā¦yep. Hurtfulā¦yep. I believe when kids reach this transition stage, they donāt know how to detach from us gently, so they do it with it cleaverā¦whack!</p>
<p>I feel for you. Iām very close to my daughter and she still holds out on me. My younger
S1 was close to me also, but pulled away from me much sooner than D. Now my S1 is relaxing a bit and actually sharing with me again.</p>
<p>Think of it as a testament that you raised a fine young man. He is ready to use all the skills you taught him as a young boy, and now will become a man. He couldnāt have done it without you.</p>
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<p>Very good to hear. Itās true, I donāt distrust the boy/man. Iām actually very proud of him. Heās independent, kind and responsible, all the things I worked so hard to bring about. I guess I just miss him and he hasnāt even left for school yet. And so, yeah, it hurts. But itās a good pain, as long as I keep it in perspective, and you guys are so good at providing that perspective. THANK YOU!!</p>
<p>crossposted w/ksabbo - it WAS abrupt! No warning. For a while, I was wondering if I was imagining it. Your perspective is welcome.</p>
<p>Heās my one and only, so this is all new to me and my hard won experience will only be useful for others. Maybe I should get another puppy ā¦ ;)</p>
<p>I struggled a bit this year with my D. She turned 18 in January and thought that the laws for 18 year olds on the āoutsideā where the same under our roof. Heck no!</p>
<p>I just canāt concentrate at work today. My mind is swimming with everything I have to do to get ready to have the post-prommers at the house. I keep telling myself that they wonāt be at my house until midnight so I have plenty of time, but I certainly could enjoy the pre-prom pix more if everything was ready at home. Trying to figure out if I can take an afternoon conference call at home so I can leave and use this nervous energy at home.</p>
<p>SueD, my S is an only too, but has been doing the distancing thing for most of the year. I get information on happenings at school through other parents or the school website, but from him only on a need to know basis - and I need to know much more than he thinks I do. I do think itās pretty normal, and many other parents on CC bemoaning the same behavior certainly helps.</p>
<p>I asked my S for a poem for Motherās Day, and I was so touched to be reminded that my grown man still does appreciate his mom even if he very rarely gives any indication of it:</p>
<p>āIn a few months now, Iāll be leaving home
exiting stage right
to star in my own production
and though you may feel youāre a minor character
in āXXXX! The Musical!ā
just remember, you made me what I am
and will always be my starā</p>
<p>What an awesome poem!!! That should last you a few years, even if he forgets Motherās Day when he has no one around to remind him.</p>