<p>I think that sounds wonderful. What a good idea to keep the ‘expenses’ money seperate from the ‘fun money’. I think it can be hard for teens to budget what they may need in a couple of months, looks like they have plenty of money NOW.</p>
<p>acm…It’s interesting and comforting to see other parents going through the same dilemmas. My DH and I vowed to keep totally silent during the selection phase; we were adamant that this was going to be 100% HER decision. We aren’t for certain that she made the right choice, but we are here to support her, and hopefully, it’ll all be fine. BTW…it’s interesting that both our kids let their sports play a fairly large roll in their decision. Although she made the squad at all 3 of her finalist schools, she felt that UVA was the best social fit, and their intense school spirit (EVERYONE going to all the sporting events) was appealing. Hmmm…and your son is going to W&M…VA apparently doing something right! :)</p>
<p>I also do banking at Bank of America. I set up an account before I left on my school trip with all of my graduation money. I had to get a debit card for my trip so it was good timing. There is a Bank of American in the Commons which is only like a 10 minute drive into the downtown area if I need to do any in-person banking. Ithaca’s campus only has like 2 ATMs and they are the local banks but someone said if you cash checks somewhere on campus it’s cheaper because no ATM fees. </p>
<p>I am about to leave Florida. I am going to go take a shower and pack my bag and do my last minute good byes to everyone. I had a really nice visit and I am glad I came down. Now I just have a lot of work to do before the 18th. :D</p>
<p>Just back from the pool and had a message from S, a confession! There is a rather large stain on the carpet in his bedroom, when I asked about it, I was told it was there when they got here, “must have been the renters”. Well the truth came out yesterday, they had made themselves some screwdrivers, rather more screwdrivers then they had originally admitted to. His friend “sicked up”. I am absolutely furious about the lying. I know kids experiment, but like a dumbass I really bought the I am an athlete line in regard to drinking. Plus I was planning to call the rental agent and complain about the carpet stain. H found out about it from one of the other fathers at a party yesterday. My husband was just about the farthest thing from a choirboy when he was a teenager so he is much quicker to doubt the stories. H is coming down on him like the wrath of god though.</p>
<p>I agree, acm. The lying matters more than the drinking.</p>
<p>DB, I am getting more and more steamed thinking about it!</p>
<p>Better go have a screwdriver. ;)</p>
<p>Well you all know I like a drink, no moral high ground here!</p>
<p>ACM:</p>
<p>Oh boy… talk about soiling the nest :(</p>
<p>While the lying is definitely a big issue in my mind, I would be more concerned about the drinking to the point of becoming ill. With so many stories going around about college students drinking themselves literally to death, vomiting is one step before having major issues. I think that would be a major focal point of the conversation for me.</p>
<p>I agree - the lying is what pushes me over the abyss of being angry, I don’t approve of most crap but to do it and then lie about it makes me steam!</p>
<p>A good froend at work recently caught wind of her son’s party when she said she thought something had gone on but had no proof - I told her to log in to FB and check to see if anything was there - lo and behold right on her newsfeed her son had just been tagged in a bunch of pictures that showed they were all in my friend’s basement. She casually asked him what he had done over the weekend later that night and he never fessed up, even given him a few opportunities of “are you sure you want to stick to that story?” - then she asked if he had been on FB and he knew he was in trouble. Granted that was one of those where you just wanted to shake your head given how stupid they were for getting caught but it came down to the lying being the bigger reason for him being screwed!</p>
<p>I agree with scualum - this is a 2-fold issue. the lying certainly but the excess is worrisome. I know I did it but not to the degree I think many students these days do. Granted it isn’t hard when you first start making drinks and drinking, not feeling like you are that bad off and then it goes from bad to worse. I’m just so glad everyone was okay and you dind’t find out about this for other reasons!</p>
<p>I’m glad he owned up to it. It is interesting though that he potentially felt the parental punishment for drinking would be less painful than the torture he would have endured cleaning up the vomit. :p</p>
<p>My daughter did a gap year in England last year. I found out, quite by accident, that TD bank does not charge international transaction fees. She opened a no fee free student checking account with a debit/credit card. I deposited her allowance once a month and she was able to withdraw cash in Europe with no ATM fee or international transaction fees charged by TD. It was great.
Move in day is a bit complicated. The official move in for incoming freshman at Lafayette in 8/26. Since she is there for a summer program, though, she is allowed to move her stuff from her summer dorm room to her fall dorm room on August 13th. Then she’ll be home till 8/26. This should make move in so much easier!</p>
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I don’t like to cast aspersions, but I think we can all agree that you are, in fact, old enough to have whatever drinks you want to and no sneaking necessary.</p>
<p>I’m glad your H is upset also. It’s good to have a united front.</p>
<p>acm, the lying is really the topper. I don’t know how I could trust my kid to have the place to himself after an incident like this. I agree that the drinking to excess is a real problem given there was obviously no one who realized that they were going too far.</p>
<p>I am trying desperately to catch up, but it is so hard. I’ll try to make a few comments.</p>
<p>vballmom - Sorry to hear about your dog; they are such special members of our family. Good luck to your son in HH. We have a place in Sea Pines. I love it there. Enjoy your trip.</p>
<p>kindredspirit - I’m glad you and your daughter had a good time at UPenn. It sounds like she’ll love it there.</p>
<p>Shillyshally - Have fun at the Red Sox game! Go Sox!!!</p>
<p>Scoutmmom9 - Welcome and welcome to NC to your son. I have a current HS school junior who is very interested in Elon, so perhaps our paths will cross in a couple of years.</p>
<p>We opened an account at Wachovia during orientation for my son. UNC uses Wachovia as their bank for their student “One” account, so it made the most sense. I am also on the account so I can add money from my son’s college savings account as needed.</p>
<p>Our trip to New England was wonderful. The weather in Maine was perfect. We went to see Inception during vacation and I thought it was great. </p>
<p>The quilt my mother in law made my son for graduation is beautiful. My husband’s family had a celebration for my son while we were up in Maine. My sister in law took pictures and I’ll post some on Shutterfly once she sends them to me. Hopefully she’ll send them soon. My son really liked the quilt. I was actually surprised how much he liked it; he seemed very touched. He told me I needed to start taking sewing lessons so I could make quilts for his future children. I told him I didn’t think it was something I could take up at this point in my life, so he needed to be sure his future wife’s mother (or father) was capable.</p>
<p>Well the vomiting was done by his best friend who has as long as I have known him,(kindergarden) been a vomiter. I am not sure how much they drank, because I do not know how much vodka was in that particular bottle of ketel one, I expect when I actually get to speak with him I will learn more. H and I are extremely reasonable people, strict but I think fair. We have always spelled out consequences in advance and followed through. H has always been especially clear on lying, having done so much of it as a teenager himself. S will now be staying with my in-laws when H comes down to get me, GF is not permitted in the house when we are not there etc…H always arranges it so S has to wake him when he comes in, usualy he sleeps on the family room sofa when S is out, he is impossible to sneak past.</p>
<p>Bonnie, move-in day at Laf isn’t that bad, but it will make your life easier that your D will already be in and settled. Tell her to give my old room a big hello from me! S will be helping on a move-in crew that day. (On the down side to moving in early - you’ll probably have to move her in yourself.) There are some orientation events for parents, and for students, on move-in afternoon before Convocation, so it’s worth going even if you don’t have to schlepp stuff up the Marquis stairs! And bring your tissues… 3 years ago when S was a freshman, after Convocation they gave everyone 15 minutes for last-minute advice and good-byes. But then they begin tolling the South College bell, and playing the dirge-like Alma Mater over the loudspeakers, and the class was supposed to assemble and go off to the other side of campus to have a giant class photo taken. Parents are supposed to clap and cheer as the kids leave, but between that darned bell and that song… do they WANT us to cry? Geez… :p</p>
<p>acm: So sorry to hear about the drinking situation. I agree with some others, that the lying would be a BIG concern for me. The excess drinking is of course an issue…Glad it wasn’t worse in terms of his friend getting even sicker. I agree that having consequences in place and following through is key. And you and H being united is also a biggie…This unfortunate event may open the door for greater communication and discussion…Hang tough!</p>
<p>BUandBC: Thanks for your kind wishes for my D!..The quilt your MIL made for your S and his reaction is wonderful. I am always so touched and have added pride when my S and D appreciate the sentiment and love provided by dear family and friends. I’m sure he will have added comfort at school with the loving quilt made by your MIL. LOL about making a quilt for his future children…He’s really thinking ahead, and knows your love will also be passed down to his lucky kids 
So sweet!..Also glad you enjoyed your vacation in Maine, including the celebration for your DS. :)</p>
<p>Shillyshally: I forgot to wish you a wonderful trip with your S tomorrow for his b-day trip to see the BoSox. I’m sure he will LOVE the surprise and the special time with you. I hope they win for both of you!</p>
<p>:cool: 
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<p>ACM…so sorry to hear that your son disappointed you! I have always told my D that I will trust her until she gives me reason not to trust her…it is a trust issue and that is so hard to earn back! I am glad to hear that you and H are on a united front!</p>
<p>YDS…yes you are correct…UT is a safety for those kids in the top 10% (8% next year)…but this kid is barely in the top 25%…he goes to a "rigorous "private school and got a decent ACT score so the parents are reaching high…I have just tried to say that there are sooo many bright, intellegent, plugged-in kids that don’t get in to some schools that they thought were going to be a sure thing…we read about it here daily!</p>
<p>Zooser…don’t worry , I will be around to see the aftermath and I will hopefully remember to report it here :)</p>
<p>We got the move in packet for D’s dorm this week and it says that a frat will be there to help move in and that tips would be appreciated…How much though? Does anyone have any previous experience with this? I am sure it is a fund raiser for them…I just want to make sure we give enough because she is moving in at noon in August in 100+ heat…on the third floor…no elevator…sound fun?</p>