Parents of the HS Class of 2010 and college years beyond (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
40921

I am so ready to get home from week 1 in 2015!

Where has everyone been this week? I bet y’all are rather unpleasant to be around after a week with no coffee. :wink:

Momannoyed – Let us know how S’s interview and possible Dream Job recruit goes!

12rmh18 – The book was found! It was hiding in plain sight… in the apartment, but not in the designated package spot. Luckily her roommate overheard her say something about the book and told D2 that she had picked it up (a couple of weeks ago) and where she put it.

In post-college news, I know that CC is the place to come to renew one’s parental helicopter license, but I think that one of D2’s roommate’s mothers has surpassed anything that I have seen on CC. Please tell me if I am out-of-touch or there’s something I don’t get here. I think that I mentioned that when D2 first moved into the apartment that roommate’s mother, we’ll call her Medusa, helped her daughter (who is 26 years old and lived in NYC for a few years) move in and stayed in the apartment for a week to help get everything in its proper place (including moving the tool set that I bought for D2 to keep in the apartment, so D2 couldn’t find it when it came time to assemble her furniture). Medusa is the “Employee of the Month” at the OCD factory… DW is pretty sure that she had at least one of every scent of Swiffer and Wet Wipe ever made. OK, it’s nutty, but it’s just for the initial move-in, right? Well, Medusa is back and staying in the apartment for 1 ½ weeks and even had D2 and Roommate #2 come into the bathroom for a “lesson” on how they should clean the shower every morning when they get ready for work. Needless to say, D2 and Roommate #2 blew up and that led to a “House Meeting” on how to handle guests, et al. Unfortunately, they did not wait until Medusa had left and she inserted herself into the meeting, had a raging fit, and proclaimed that if D2 and Roommate #2 would not let her stay there then they would have to pay for her hotel when she comes to visit (like that’s going to happen, ugh!). D2 likes her roommates, it’s just the parental baggage that’s the problem. As D2 put it, “I may have to kill Medusa and end up in New York prisons, but that would be better than this. And besides, even Charles Manson was able to get married in prison. :wink: “ So, is there something I don’t get here? I could not fathom having either DW or me staying in D2’s apartment while visiting unless there were some strange extenuating circumstances and even then I certainly would not try to run the place. I don’t know the mother’s financial situation, but even assuming that it would be a significant financial burden it seems like it would be reasonable to stay in the apartment for a couple of days on the occasional visit, but every couple of months for 1+ weeks while taking over is way out of line. OK, G#’s whine of the week is done now. :wink:

40922

Well, Gsharp, your license is now revoked. :))

40923

Wow, G#, that is quite a tale! She must be one of the instructors in HP (Helicopter Parent) senior seminar!! I don’t recall my parents ever staying in my home when they visited me until I had a house of my own with a guest room. I can’t imagine staying with my D when I visit - it’s either hotel or airbnb. My S lives near me, but I don’t even feel comfortable visiting his apartment unless there is some specific reason and appointment. And besides, I can’t imagine staying in anyone’s apartment for a week and a half. That definitely violates my mom’s rule that “fish and guests smell after three days.” It took me a long time to convince my mom she could stay with me for more than three days, and she still has never stayed more than about 6. And don’t get me started on a roommate’s mom giving cleaning lessons. I know that my D is not thrilled with her roommates’ idea of a clean kitchen. Her remedy is not cleaning lessons - it is cleaning it herself to her preferred standards from time to time (no house meeting needed).

My week has been a bit crazy at work - hence my failure to drop by and pour coffee. Since I don’t drink coffee, I don’t think it’s what has made me unpleasant, but I sure feel unpleasant nonetheless. Perhaps it is having to get back in the swing of things after a remarkably quiet long break.

momannoyed - sending PVCs for the Dream Job (as well as any other job).

It is cold here, but as usual I just remind myself that it is colder in MN, where D lives.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

40924

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That McDonnell Douglas reject needs to slow her roll, G#. Definitely overstepped, but I’d advise D2 to just avoid her and not engage. And boycott any cleaning lessons.

Ds1 is doing well. He had two weeks off at the holidays. He and ds2 had a great time. We had a great, low-key holiday, seeing family. Lots of driving. Lots of binge-watching. Lots of playing with the little cousins.

But, really, I’m ready for him to be gone. He doesn’t know what his next step will be. Still no grad school plans, but he can either re-up for another year at his current gig, or try to find real, full-time employment here or elsewhere. He’s mostly a wonderful housemate, but I think we all think he’d be better fully launched. :slight_smile:

Ds2 is his usual busy self. Just talked to him for the first time since he went back to school. He needed the credit card, naturally. :wink: He’s thrown himself into another student-govt campaign, which is a time-sink, but he loves it. In fact he has a huge role. Training for a half-marathon. I had to break the news to him over the break that he needs to come back home this summer and work. His financial reality isn’t as sunny as he was hoping, lol.

ETA: Brilliant idea! Maybe G#'s dd’s roomie’s mom would like a new project. Think she’ll take ds1 off my hands? I’d be OK with her teaching him how to clean better.

40925

Hope you’re feeling better, 12rmh18.

Wishing your S all the best with his dream job, Momannoyed.

Yikes about your D2’s roommate’s mom! I think that roommate needs to have a little discussion with her mom and set some boundaries. I really hope they work it out since they get along otherwise.

40926

G#–wow, that is one helicopter mama!

Took College S back to school today for his last semester. With DH out of town, I truly have an empty nest for a few days. Still waiting to hear from his job interviews. He also got a “feeler” from a small company in town so may pursue that. Exciting times!

Those of you familiar with Graeter’s ice cream (only the best in the world) will appreciate that I got a birthday sundae (free) from them. DS was kind enough to accompany me to the ice cream parlor. Even if the weather is frightful, it’s always ice cream season!

40927

^^^ Oh, it just gets better…

You have no idea of the joy (NOT!) that D2 felt when she woke up this weekend and overheard Medusa telling her daughter that she will stay until Friday, but since their time is “limited” that the D must spend as much time as possible with her. No control issues here. :wink: Unfortunately, Roommate #2 has resigned herself to the situation and told Roommate #1 that her mother staying there is OK with her and called D2 later to apologize for not supporting her, ugh!

I need some Graeter’s. Let’s see Peppermint Stick, Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip, so many options… :wink:

40928

Hi, All. Just joining in here. I have a 2010 son, S1, who is out of college and fully on his own! Sweet! Hoping 2012 S2 will find a passion for something other than fun, and hoping 2015 S3 will be ready for the next adventure as he heads to Not-Yet-Determined U this fall.

Just have to chime in on the situation @GSharpM7 's daughter finds herself in. While in college, sharing an apartment with 3 other guys, S1 headed to the coffee pot in his boxers one morning only to hear a woman’s voice say “It is NOT appropriate for you to walk around here in your underwear!” The voice came from his roommate’s mother who, along with the father, were staying for a few days unbeknownst to S1. For the next 2 years, the parents stayed at the house every home football game weekend. Here’s the kicker - we own the house and we would never think of staying there! But one weekend we dropped a few things off that S1 needed from home, and those squatter parents were sitting in the living room with their feet on the coffee table drinking beer. They left rings on S1’s coffee table. Then they told us the bedrooms were too small.

40929

Oh, Barfly, sounds like you fit in just fine here! The nerve of those parents … did your ds continue to walk around in his underwear?

40930

I doubt it, @Youdon’tsay. He was mortified (he’s a very private kid)! But he should have walked around buck naked. Reminds me of a quote from The Goodbye Girl. Her: “I thought you said you were decent?” Him: “I am decent. I also happen to be naked.”

40931

Barfly: Wow…just…wow. That’s chutzpah!

College football last game of the season: Bucks vs. Ducks (Ohio State University vs. Oregon. I don’t get ESPN so am reduced to following the game on Twitter. Latest update has the Buckeyes upholding our state’s honor. :slight_smile:

40932

I think that is the very definition of chutzpah, Barfly. As for G#'s D2’s “visitor” - if the roomie has caved on having Medusa staying there, then work needs to be done ASAP on setting boundaries while she’s there. She can lecture or order her own D around, but not the other two. Or she can clean to her own satisfaction herself.

As I mentioned, I can’t quite imagine staying with one of my kids in an apt with other roommates. My H says he can imagine it, but he would be looking around for things to fix, or groceries to buy and cooking to do, or to take them out to dinner. No lectures.

And while I’m here, I’ll just pour a bit of midmorning coffee for anyone who needs a pick me up.

40933

Good morning, iPeeps! Coffee is ready. DH added frothy steamed milk today.

Barfly: if you owned the house - and I completely understand why you wouldn’t stay there with a bunch of college guys :wink: - couldn’t you or your S have told the squatter parents that they were not welcome to stay there during home football games?

G#: Yikes to Medusa & the lack of boundaries! I’m with alicew about having the roommates having a meeting to discuss the Medusa problem. Perhaps your D2 can find some kind of vitamin or supplement to help roommate #2 grow a spine?

Momannoyed: I watched Bucks vs Ducks to the very end, which was after midnight on East Coast time. My text messages exploded with happy Buckeye family members. S2 was still at work at midnight, but he had 4 screens at his ‘command center’ & was following the game even as he edited his pivot tables.

Now onward toward March Madness! How about those UVA Cavaliers?!

40934

Whew, what a week. I cannot wait to get home. I feel like 12rmh18’s S2, except that I am way too old for this!

Y’all are looking much more relaxed now that “Coffee by Alice” is back! :wink:

Momannoyed – Congrats to your home state! I admit that I was so busy that I forgot that there was a game this week, so I was not a good citizen of O-H-I-O.

Barfly – Welcome to you and all 3 S’s! They sound like a very decent bunch. :wink: You win the “Dealing with Rude Parental Units” award! :wink:

Nah, your DS1 seems far too nice than to be subjected to a scenario that could lead him to incarceration.

Wow! And I thought that I was a bad parent. :wink:

I love pivot tables!

It’s OK, DW gets to keep hers on a provisional basis. She was talking with D2 about the roommate’s mother situation and said, “See I’m not so bad after all, am I?.” To which D2 replied, “Oh no, she is a hundred times worse than you.” :wink: :wink: :wink:

Well the G# family may have simultaneously set back North-South, Urban-Rural, and International relations. I “convinced” D2 that she should bring a cake to work today to celebrate that all-important NYC / UK holiday… Lee-Jackson Day. Those of you who have the misfortune of having never lived in Virginia have probably never celebrated this most hallowed holiday (formerly Lee-Jackson-King Day). :wink:

Much job news in our family this week.
DW – after a week on the new job went back to her old job. The new one turned into something other than advertised and the old one called because they didn’t realize everything she did and extended an offer to come back, Win-Win, I suppose.
D1 – Review + Raise.
D1’s H – Started a new full-time position. He previously did freelance work and the opportunities were dwindling.
D2 – Her first “big girl” performance review and W2’s (based on the pix that I got with the caption, “help”).

D2 can get back to “normal” at home, “Medusa has left the building.” I think there is going to be another post-visit “House Meeting.” D2’s suggestion is 3 day limit and a week’s notice… Medusa just followed the roommate home from the holiday break, unannounced.

40935

G#, Medusa may be good for D2’s career development – she will be motivated to get a job where she can afford to live without roommates! :slight_smile: Glad to hear DW’s former employer appreciates here more now! Hope they gave her a nice incentive to return… Hurray to D1 and SIL!

S2 went back to school this week. We’re not paying any more tuition, so he’d better graduate!

40936

Hurray for the strong women in G#'s family!

Today’s small but interesting episode. I now know that Dream Company has gotten back to S because they called here first. Recruiter must have looked at the wrong number on the resume…she called here and I said “He’s on campus. Do you have that number?” When she said what company it was, I was so glad I was helpful!

Cause you know sometimes it’s some pollster or someone with outdated information that he really doesn’t need to talk to…

So we’ll see if he gets even a first interview with them. Keeping fingers crossed as usual!

And I believe the new GF may be serious. They went to a swing dance class last night! :smiley:

40937

HAHA when it rains it pours. DS got a job offer from the excellent company in the frozen north (well, north of here) about a half hour after his phone call from the “Dream Company” setting up a phone interview for later.

Nice to have choices! Though Dream Company is still a long shot and the job offer is so excellent he may just take it. News as it happens…

40938

Checking in - not much to report. The &)*)^% cabinet guy still hasn’t installed the last bits of cabinets, but otherwise the kitchen is great - we have all the counters - just not the window seat and some shelving. The living room was finally looking pretty good, they contractors were only working in the basement, but I had to empty my office so that the baseboard radiator could be replaced. The baseboards were cut off early on in the project, but when the temperature got down to 36 in there we said we couldn’t wait any longer for the new radiator. Only looking at that empty office it seemed silly not to insulate the place while we were at it. So the last week we’ve been back to chaos and dust and banging, but it really will be infinitely better when it’s done. I was always freezing in there.

Meanwhile S2 is applying for jobs. He’s been very diligent. Resumes go out every day. He’s networking with local friends. He’s working on writing samples. Just how long is a “brief” writing sample anyway? (And why the heck don’t they give word counts or pages?)

40939

Heading home after my last week in Cincy! Yes, you heard that right, but before you start feeling sorry for DW that she may have me hanging around a little too much, I start a new gig in Dayton, OH (way up north) on Monday so there will really be no change for us.

CD – Here’s hoping that you have sent S2 back for the last time!

Momannoyed – Congrats to your DS! Keep us informed! No, not swing dancin’… run away, run away! I leave Cincy in your capable hands. :wink:

Mathmom – When D2 was submitting writing samples, some companies gave her page limits, others were more nebulous… “Well, 1 page is probably too few and 10 pages is probably too much.”

D2 continues to move toward becoming a “Beyonder.” She has been talking with her thesis advisor and plans to meet with her in person to talk about grad school options.

40940

I don’t know why it’s so hard for a company to say 3 to 5 pages, or not more than 2 pages or whatever they prefer. Since all his papers are way too long, it’s been a lot of work trying to figure out what bits of papers might work for different job descriptions and make still make sense. One company said business correspondence or memos were fine, but since everything he did on his internship was confidential if he wants to submit something like that he has to put together one from scratch. It was a lot easier for me - I mailed my resume then showed up in person with my portfolio. New classified ads only appeared once a week. Networking was difficult enough that it didn’t occupy large parts of my day.