<p>Wow, busy, busy here lately! Congrats on all the acceptances and so sorry for the disappointments. I am a firm believer that things will work out as they should, so chin up to all. About the parents who refuse to foot the college bill, I have mixed feelings on this, as husband and I were the bad guys with my son seven years ago. It is not always easy to k ow exactly what is going on in a family, from the out side looking in. My son is a very high IQ underachiever who was well aware, from middle school on, what would happen when college rolled around. We had purchased a prepaid tuition plan for each of children and they each had a small fund from their grandmother. We have an awesome scholarship program here in Florida that pays a significant amount of tuition for students with a 3.0 or higher. That scholarship, combined with the prepaid plan, would be more than enough to cover the cost of an in state public university. We told both our children that if they failed to qualify for the state scholarship that they would be on their own to fund the difference between the prepaid plan and the cost of attendance. My son scored
high enough on the SAT in 7th grade to qualify for 100% of the state award, but he failed
to maintain his GPA, despite being reminded of the consequences. This was not a matter of ability, but of personality. So when he left for college six years ago, he was responsible for his own room & board, books and spending money. While we could have paid these expenses for him, it was not in his best interest for us to do so. We did help him out on occasion, but for the most part, we stuck to this plan until he was in the upper level of a 5 year engineering program and could not work and keep up with his schoolwork. I know that some of friends thought we were wrong to not pay his way from the beginning, but I know we did the right thing for my son, which is not always about money.</p>
<p>
Yes, I think he probably did start off with a bad list, not knowing how the system works. If he takes a gap year but goes to a community college during that time, and reapplies as a transfer student, do they still offer FA? He might not receive the merit scholarships he was offered this year as a freshman applicant.</p>
<p>omom, I’d post this as a new thread on the Parents forum. My suspicion is that he’d be best served by not going the transfer route, but I’d check with all the expert opinion you can before suggesting anything to the young man.</p>
<p>Mamom - loved your Betty Crocker award story!</p>
<p>Skimming this thread while in Phoenix. Looking forward to 70 degree weather today after 7 inches of snow at Grand Canyon. It was beautiful, but ready for sun.</p>
<p>Saddened by wait list news. Starting to think D2 has lost a degree of confidence through this college process. Last night she tried on a dozen dresses for school formal and hated them all. On the way out of the store she saw a promising one which she tried on and obviously loved, but she didn’t want to make the decision right there. Felt like I wanted to force the issue but thought I needed to respect even this decision. She put it on hold, so if we don’t find something she likes better today, we’re going to go back and buy it tonight.</p>
<p>FishyMom – That’s a story about good, responsible parenting. You knew your kid and you played to his strengths and weaknesses. Very different from “I didn’t go to college and I did okay so no smarty-pants son of mine is gonna go.” Making Eagle Scout shows tremendous drive, self-direction and good personal choices (more often than not…YMMV). I wonder if there are scholarships for Eagle Scouts – To boots, to horse, to Google! </p>
<p>If my D hadn’t gotten in to a good school, we would have encouraged a second go-round with rolling admit schools. Roanoke, Emory and Henry, and Lenoir-Rhynne were on our list. CC is a good place to start but even there, a kid needs family support. Parents can sabotage their kids’ efforts so easily if they want to play road-block. </p>
<p>phbmom – I tend to think that shopping for a prom dress is just a sneak preview of what wedding shopping will be like. Considering my D and I bought her dress on the internet, she’ll probably run away to Vegas.</p>
<p>P.S. A cursory Google search shows a lot of Eagle Scout Scholarships. Some are past their deadlines for this year; others are not. Many, apparently, go unclaimed.</p>
<p>mamom, I won the Betty Crocker award too! I had forgotten about it until this moment. My family thought it was pretty funny, since they could see no evidence at home that I had any skills associated with Betty Crocker. How could I forget this…</p>
<p>I managed to explode a pressure cooker in Home Ec. (defective equipment – truly!) No Betty Crocker award for me… :(</p>
<p>When I was in jr. high, we had a day where students were selected to take the place of the teachers. The students taught the classes, got to go to the teachers’ lounge, etc. It seemed cool. Guess who asked me to be her student-teacher for the day?? The home-ec teacher. My husband howled when he heard this! I’m a pretty good cook now, but didn’t show much potential then. I was hoping to be chosen by my Algebra teacher because I was good at that – but I was the home ec teacher instead. Got to wear an apron and a hairnet all day!! Just the look any 9th grader is going for!</p>
<p>RenMom–great poem</p>
<p>phbmom–Say hello to my home–I was born/raised in Phoenix and could use some of that beautiful blue sky right about now.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice and offers to help with SAT costs. I’d be happy to pay for it myself if we can convince him to go for it. The school recommendations are great–I will definitely check them out asap. We will have this young man sitting at our dining room table in less that two weeks, so DH and I will have to strategize on how we can offer help to him. I’m not sure of the financial situation, but I know that he’s had to earn the money for anything he does (he participated in a high adventure camp, but he paid for the entire thing.) He’s worked as a lifeguard for several years to earn money (got his lifeguard training thru scouts). I’ll keep you posted. Hopefully we can get him to college this fall or if not, a gap year is a great idea too. Most Eagle scholarships are past deadline, but he may be able to take advantage of them next year.</p>
<p>As for stress and the senior–my DS told us yesterday that he was really scared about the next week’s decisions. He said he’s stressing over them. At least he’s telling us now what he’s feeling (he’s been pretty quiet about the whole thing). I told him to remember that whatever happens next week, he is sitting on a number of acceptances that most of his peers would love to have. Our HS isn’t known for getting kids admitted to the tippy top schools, so we’ll see what happens next week. He’s got a top choice of his acceptances and it’s a great one, so he will be fine! I’m ready for next week to be done so we can move on to the happy decisions.</p>
<p>fishymom - Your story is a great reminder that you never know what is really going on in a family. It’s such a shame when parents out of malice or ignorance deny chances to their kids, but we on the outside sometimes may not get the whole story.</p>
<p>I do hope that Eagle Scout catches a break - good news is that this year is not his only shot! Best of luck to him.</p>
<p>Anyone in applying to Pomona? S is and I checked out the school thread this morning and there was a lot of flurry about a new tab (In at Pomona) that was visable to some but not all. It had orientation sign up info and all that. I have S’s login info so checked it out and he did have it. But now it is gone. My guess is that they are updating servers and it is most likely meaningless. Perfect example of how I am so on edge I can be thrown into a state so easily :rolleyes: </p>
<p>I just can’t stop reading CC…May have to find a support group…</p>
<p>vamom, my daughter has a friend who was in the same situation – parents refusing to pay even though he’s a smart hard-working kid. He is in community college now and working as well. He hopes to transfer to a state U for his third year. (And I don’t think all parents who won’t pay are stupid, but this kid’s mom once tried to convince me that cigarette smoke is actually beneficial to babies :eek: )</p>
<p>My nephew had some serious behavior issues in high school and his dad told him he could join the Army or move out. He joined the Army, spent a year in Iraq, and is now going to graduate from W&M in a couple of months. </p>
<p>OregonianMom, I have similar worries about my daughter’s bf. He has an EFC of 0 and an unemployed single mom. In his case, he only applied to very top schools (already rejected from two). If he does get in to any of them, FA will probably be good, but he may well not get in and have to apply at the last minute (with possibly bad FA) to not-so-top schools or do a gap year. I am keeping my fingers crossed for at least one of the remaining three to come through.</p>
<p>RenMom, thank you for posting – Funny how personal the poem is, but it could apply to so many of our kids! (I’m so envious of people who can write poetry…)</p>
<p>Yesterday’s early mail delivery was an anomaly–nothing here yet today, and it’s after noon. Bummer. I thought it was too good to be true. What about you, ohiomom24?</p>
<p>Ren Mom: Thanks for sharing the poem. It really sums up all the stress these kids are feeling. I think that it’s particulary hard on top students who have pushed themselves for years in schools, sports, musics and ECs. I hope that once the decisions are out and choices are made, all of the kids can relax and enjoy the rest of senior year.</p>
<p>arisamp–so sorry about the disappointing WL at Rice. Although we, too, have not visited it, that school had been on S2’s list for a long time, but dropped off when he just ran out of steam at the end. I agree with advice to suggest your D add her name to any and all WLs until all answers are in. Why not keep options open? And some schools do use their WL when they are unsure of student’s true interest. If she likes it better than everything she’s already admitted to, then she can rsvp the WL fast and sends a sincere note saying she would LOVE to attend. (no promise, but show a little love?)</p>
<p>I’m a little jealous of all you Betty Crockers and teacher’s pets amongst us. The only thing I ever got from my home ec teacher was a dirty look. I preferred chatting with friends in the back of the room while we waited for our chocolate chip cookies to come out of the oven. — Still do, actually.</p>
<p>OKAY–BIG NEWS:</p>
<p>Big envelope arrived from USC. 
Of course I cannot open it (drat) but the thing is–the mailman ripped the envelope when stuffing it (it’s huge) into our small mail slot. I can actually SEE the red folder peeking out. ARG. Don’t know what major S2 was accepted into. He did huge portfolio, essays, and interview for the School of Theatre and another entirely huge supplement for the Film school. </p>
<p>But I’m doing the happy dance!!</p>
<p>YAY MADBEAN! Thank goodness the postman was so careless!!! 
:D</p>
<p>That’s wonderful news madbean! Whichever school it is it puts to rest that sibling issue. How on earth is your son going to choose among this pile of riches?</p>
<p>All I know is that when your son is the next Julie Taymor (OK, without being female and the whole Spiderman thing) I want him to cast my daughter, and Emmybet’s too. And UVA’s kid and MOSB’s D can win an Oscar for the soundtrack. Deal?</p>
<p>Madbean: Congrats on the big envelope!! Is USC his brother’s school?</p>
<p>My worst memories about Home Ec involve the sewing unit. I am all thumbs when it comes to sewing had to come in early every day for a quarter in 8th grade to finish my projects. I remember how mortified I was to see that “C” on my report card. I still hate to sew.</p>
<p>Madbean- congrats!!! Can’t wait to hear the details!!</p>
<p>Yeah Madbean!!!
Here, little in the way of good news, 3 finaid statements have come in, with no new surprises, just the standard loan and whatever we already knew about with merit or lack thereof. It’s all just a bit depressing to not be in love with his financial safety. What makes it worse is a friend has decided on Michigan (ds’ fav) and has the means to afford it, never even heard of the scholarships that ds applied for but didn’t get. I think he was ok when noone else was going there.</p>