<p>Boychild is leaning over the side of SS Indecision. </p>
<p>This group is filled with amazing parents with amazing children and it has been a pleasure sharing all the ups and downs, the trill and angst, these past few months with you. </p>
<p>Cheers to the Class of 2015!!!</p>
<p>I don’t know how other people are feeling today, but I am pretty well exhausted. On net, our family got good news over the past week, both in terms of admissions and affordability. Even so, the dream school said nope, and it is hard to get re-oriented toward the yes schools no matter how well known they might be.</p>
<p>I know I have got to get re-energized to think about arranging the final decision college visits, but I am having a hard time with the motivation.</p>
<p>I always appreciate coming on here and drawing on the mutual support vibe. I wish yesterday could have come and gone without any disappointments/broken dreams, but that cannot be. The town I live in has very little tradition of sending kids off to selective colleges–there is no local network of experienced people who can offer much in terms of counsel, commiseration or critique. CC, and this thread in particular, has been an important refuge and resource for me.</p>
<p>@Novelisto: LOL. Thanks for the laugh! I don’t think she has nailed down her date for the prom yet…</p>
<p>…at some point it would be great if the parents of those who did win the lottery…post…why they think their kids did get in.</p>
<p>@Missypie: I am probably not the right person to respond to this, as D won the lottery several years ago and attends a “name” private school. But even within that environment, she is having astounding luck with the college process. In her case, she was lucky (yes, that word again, but I can’t think of a better one) to fall in love with a not-oversubscribed subject in middle school. She read a lot, learned what she could on her own, and eventually asked her former teacher for help. He put her in touch with a grad school friend of his in the field, and through the six degrees of separation she got a great internship with her name on a paper in the publication pipeline and has been offered a project at the Smithsonian this summer. Important lessons learned: *People are happy to help you if you ASK. Build a network of mentors and keep in touch with them. Accept advice. Work your butt off. Why do I think she got in? She created her own opportunities and turned herself into an individual rather than a set of statistics.
But she was also really lucky. Most kids don’t have 7th grade science teachers with PhDs from Harvard. Most don’t have small classes and lots of teacher attention. Etc. Etc. Still, I am really proud of her because she did a lot with the chances she was given and it is paying off for her.</p>
<p>Heads up on the FA awards!</p>
<p>When we looked at the Duke FA package last night it was very different from the others we had received. It is towards the top of S’s list and I did not sleep well last night. I just got off the phone with the office and they double counted the depreciation from our business they had added back to our income. Now we are back in line. </p>
<p>Do not hesitate to call and ask questions! She did not notice it immediately but after I kept asking questions she caught it! I would have NEVER called if it weren’t for the things I’ve read on CC.</p>
<p>I need a LONG nap!</p>
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<p>yes, yes and yes! Esp where it concerns financial issues because that directly affects YOU as a parent. Once my son had a dorm assignment, I even emailed a lot of questions about the room, what was and wasn’t included so we wouldn’t buy extra stuff. Believe me, even if they think your question is a bother, they aren’t going to rescind your child over it.</p>
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<p>That is what I tell college students and maybe it’s a good idea to pass it on to HS students as well. If you have a passion for what you plan to major in, join the professional organizations in that field…almost all offer student memberships. Instead of being one of a hundred new 25 year old members, you get the attention of being the highly motivated 15 year old member. Good for your daughter!</p>
<p>Am appreciating those who are attempting to guess why their kid "won the lottery’ either this year or previous years. Seems like much luck involved but interesting to read your best guess as why your kid may have been able to get a winning ticket.</p>
<p>Also–your stories and insight into how your kids are handling any bad/good news are wonderful</p>
<p>…would love to hear more about Pomona-- just out of curiousity, not one of D1’s schools (but D2 finishing middle school)</p>
<p>My heart swells, tears spring up as I read this thread. The collective wisdom and compassion and HUMOR here is overwhelming. For all of these kids, and the parents alongside them, this has been an amazing journey of self-discovery. And its only the beginning. </p>
<p>Here, I am trying not to count my chickens before they are even eggs but D just texted me to say she is only considering two LACs that gave her merit $$, not the uber-expensive BFA program (yea that one, the one that is always the focus of stories on the horrors of college debt). I soooooo hoped she would come to that decision herself and we wouldn’t have to either rob a bank or tell her no. She says she doesn’t see herself there, and I think she is right. Both LACs are close enough that she can visit friends in the city, take in shows, etc. But she wants a smaller, very supportive environment, plus she likes more traditional looking and feeling campuses. Its just exciting to know she had the option. I thought she would spend more time savoring that but I think she is ready to look forward. I am really impressed with how thoughtful she is being about the right fit. I’ve second guessed the list a million times but in the end it suited her and gave her options she is happy with.</p>
<p>So I’d say at the moment, our ship is heading on a steady course to a lovely destination and I know I will be waving at all of you in our flotilla as we sail (or paddle) along and look for your support when we hit the inevitable waves.</p>
<p>Happy day after to most everyone - and my sympathies to those waiting for the very last answers.</p>
<p>D got the most important of answers we were still waiting for - a yes from Bard College! She will get a belated acceptance in the next day or two from a school we have all lost patience with, and there’s an official rejection that she’s aware of but hasn’t logged in to see for herself.</p>
<p>So basically she’s done. She has three schools that she’s looking very closely at - they all meet her needs in different ways, and she can take a little bit of time now to look deep into her heart and find where she needs to be. And I do think she’ll hold onto the waitlist at the reach school, just to make sure all options were available.</p>
<p>I think I told you all my H’s brilliant way of distracting her from her 3 socko rejections Sunday night: Our girls know that we’d like to take them to Disneyworld in January to celebrate their two graduations. So he’s been planning the trip with D2 all week, as she hangs out recovering from college news and resting up during spring break. Talk about the happiest place on earth, even in one’s imagination!</p>
<p>Today she told me she made a list of all of her top choices’ January vacation schedules, based on when we’d like to go to Disney (later in the month for better prices). I told her that picking her college based on its convenience for a Disneyworld trip would probably be a brand new criterion!</p>
<p>In case you’re curious, the school that was already the frontrunner also has the best January schedule.</p>
<p>A few pages back, someone mentioned that the idea of applying to these tippy top schools came as a result of counselor feedback. Same here. Two years ago, D was struggling with the idea that she might actually be interesting to a school like UCLA. Me, too. When she asked for permission to blow $55.00 on a UCLA sweatshirt, I asked why. I didn’t want her to get her hopes up too high for an impossible dream. (And, I didn’t want to waste $55.00! 
)</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong. She has always been a stellar student: Her name was placed on the boards of classrooms (the best grades on big tests are written on the chalkboard) so often that other kids and teachers whom she had never met would stop her, congratulate her and ask her how she did it. And, D2 just rolls her eyes now when “random” kids and adults walk up to her and congratulate her on having such a smart big sister.</p>
<p>But, “our world” (our “paradigm”) never consisted of the thought that 1) she should apply to a top 10 school, 2) that she might actually get in, and 3) that we might actually be able to afford it!!!</p>
<p>So, when it was time during her junior year to have the required parent, student, counselor chat about college app plans, D recited our local public schools as her safeties and UCLA as her reach. Oh! If only I had a picture of the look on her GC’s face when D finished her list. My knees actually began to tremble. We assumed that the GC was upset because he thought D was overreaching and I quickly placed my hand on D’s lap to soothe her impending pain and embarrassment.</p>
<p>However, the first words out of the GC’s mouth were: “I’m not sure I understand why you have decided to limit yourself in this way!”… “Limit”? Did he say “limit”? And, why is he so angry? D and I looked at each other. Then, finally, *I *asked “What do you mean by ‘limit’”? And, then he began to explain in a logical way (looking at his naviance report, no doubt) why it was unbelievably short-sighted of us to only apply to the colleges my D had placed on her list. Especially, he noted, in light of our desire for financial aid, D’s demonstrated success in school and on national exams (SATs & APs) and her somewhat unique profile.</p>
<p>He made it clear that we had obviously been poorly advised (well, actually, Mr. GC, we hadn’t been “advised” at all at that point!) and suggested we buy a Fiske book and do our homework. Once we were finished with our research, D was required to submit a new list of schools to him. (Humph!)</p>
<p>Fast forward to the Day After the lottery and she has actually been accepted to all of the schools she applied to – only two of which (including UCLA) were on her original list. We are all (D, myself, DH and even D2) thrilled, shocked and a bit numbed by the results. And, oh so very thankful.</p>
<p>For most of you, it seems, aiming this high has been a normal part of your lives and the lives of your kids. I actually thought I was a big dreamer too. That is, until I saw the look on the GC’s face that day and started reading the words that you (and some of the “overachieving” CC kids) have written.</p>
<p>I want to thank everyone, again, for all of your help, advice and insight throughout this process. My D thinks I’m a nut for reading this site and we actually went through a little drama about it early on. But, once I was able to intelligently advise her on certain things, including summer programs that she ended up attending, taking her SATIIs in the same month as the corresponding APs, and why applying ED was not an option for her, she finally had to acknowledge that, although still embarrassing, mom certainly knows her stuff and helped her reach her newly found goals.</p>
<p>Thank goodness for angry GCs and shifting paradigms! And, mostly, for smart kids with big dreams! Oh! And, although my D will not be attending UCLA in the Fall, thank goodness for UCLA as well! :)</p>
<p>So much college gossip today. The tippy-top schools were very kind to my school this year. Now if only they were a little bit kinder to me ;).</p>
<p>Congrats to my list buddy on her D’s acceptance to Bard!!!</p>
<p>Dignified, your daughter is a very lucky girl to have such a good GC. Makes one wonder how many kids don’t know what their potential is. Good luck to her in the future.</p>
<p>What an amazing last couple of days! I felt like I was a fly on the wall celebrating the expected and unexpected acceptances and feeling sad for the denials. I’m looking forward to talking with everyone about dorm room drama and shopping soon!</p>
<p>We are totally on-board with the USS indecision and have been sailing for a couple of weeks. I guess that’s a good thing about not having to “worry” about ivy and name brand school acceptances. We only had to wait for two notifications in March, and I pretty much knew the outcome of both, so I started mapping out accepted students days last month. We’ve done two events, and have two, maybe three more on the horizon. The bad part has been waiting for updated financial aid, and we still have one to go. Son just got home and got today’s non-award with another college that does not understand that “loans” are not financial aid. </p>
<p>This weekend we’re going to visit what has been son’s number one choice, but is now almost neck and neck with another one. We’ve been liking the accepted students things. It’s an easy way to see the professors, potential classmates and the food is great.</p>
<p>dignified: Well said! We too never imagined DS even had a shot at top 20. I guess we just assumed those schools were out of reach. So glad DS put Duke on his list early on. The only reason he applied to the Ivy was because they sent him something personalized and he went on and looked at financial aid and realized that it was actually doable financially. Then when he visited he fell in love. He ended up wait-listed at Duke, but is so happy with what became his 1st choice. His other top choices are awesome too. </p>
<p>So my advice to all: reach for the stars. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. If he had gotten denials across the reaches he still would have been proud to have even had a shot!</p>
<p>Mostly a lurker, but just wanted to say what a wonderful group of supportive parents this is. Your children are very lucky. DS2 got the result he wanted, but results at his private school were very disappointing for a very smart class. And several very high achieving kids (incl GF) have parents who believe that if their very remarkable only children don’t get into Ivies, (which they didn’t) then they have proved to be disappointing to the family. Just crushing for the kids.</p>
<p>Hey emilybee/list buddy, I was going to ask you about your boat comment. Now, from my many years growing up sailing, leaning over the edge usually had something to do with seasickness …</p>
<p>Well, we’re done worrying about posting for the wrong kid on acceptances. I guess now we’ll have to be careful when we post on the “decisions” thread, eh?</p>
<p>My D decided to add reaches after nailing the ACT last fall (didn’t change her grades - which were upward but not tippy-top). She said today that of the 3 schools she added, she’s not hurt that two rejected her, and she’s very proud that one waitlisted her. She says in the end she’s glad she tried. I’m glad she said that - because as a typical mom when she was hurting I was wondering if we’d pushed her/allowed her to push herself beyond what was worth it.</p>
<p>I think it takes a very strong kid, though, to get too many rejections, and that is hard to be proactive about. Between the academic and theatre reaches, my D was rejected from 6 schools. But in her process there never was a way to avoid them, and she knew that going in.</p>
<p>redshoes - those parents are clueless at best, downright mean at worst! I cannot imagine having come through the past 3 months being anything but proud of what our kids have accomplished.</p>
<p>SS Indecision Update: we probably need a ticker running at the bottom of the screen to keep us all updated on the decisions.</p>
<p>Since the beginning of this college search, S has loved Duke. Been on campus plenty. But he realizes there is something special about a LAC and his acceptances to 3 really strong ones piqued his interest even more. We are headed to VT next week to see how it feels. I’m glad he’s open-minded because he knows the easy way out is for him to just commit to Duke and be happy. And he may do that in the end. But I’m happy to be asea a little while longer.</p>
<p>See and I thought emilybee’s boychild was jumping overboard— not in stomach distress.</p>
<p>About accepted students days–I am having mixed feelings. Love the chance for her to talk to professors, the positive vibe at these events and, yes! the free yummy food :)</p>
<p>However, I look back to our original visits at a couple of these schools and the best ones were on “normal” student days…we got a real feel for the campus atmosphere and student vibe/mood.
Two or three of her acceptances we did not get a chance to go on a regular schoolday initial visit due to schedule, or summer visit or what have you.
So trying to decide now about a final visit on a regular student day (which I am leaning towards to get more of the everyday vibe) or an accepted student day which at least at two of these is on a weekend so not very ‘real world’. The third school’s accepted student day I believe is a regular student day but will call and check, that would be nice.
Opinions?</p>
<p>Emmybet: Congratulations to your daughter on the Bard acceptance. I’m so glad that she got this good news after the tough start to the week. It’s great that she doesn’t regret applying to those reach schools. </p>
<p>Left of Pisa: I’m glad that your daughter has made such a mature decision about the expensive school and is focusing on her LAC options.</p>