Parents of the HS Class of 2011 - Original

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
12821

<p>The e-mail about your e-mail being compromised is really widespread. We got it from our bank. I did a google search and found that it affected Tivo, a bunch of banks, Walgreen’s, Kroger, Best Buy. All say the same thing: that your name and e-mail have been compromised.</p>

<p>Lovely.</p>

<p>It was 92 degrees here in northwest Missouri this afternon. Yes, 92. I raked leaves out of flower beds and under bushes for two hours. I am exhausted but it felt so good to be outside working.</p>

<p>Hugs to pepper and amanda and their boys. I really want us all to be able to enjoy and celebrate the last weeks of school with our great kids.</p>

12822

<p>amandakayak, my '13 D turned 16 on Friday (April Fool’s Day). I had asked her weeks ago if she would like to do something for her birthday, as I am a long range planner, but she threw together a birthday dinner with friends at the last minute. I usually take her to the outlet mall for her birthday, so we’ll squeeze that in when we have time.</p>

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<p>Pepper and Amanda, you are so honest in your posts and I know how much you care about your sons. I’m sending you good thoughts and the hope that time will smooth that which right now feels so rough. Your boys will grow, mature, and become so happy, engaged and successful. </p>

<p>What fills me with wonder is how hard all these kids and many of us parents, too, work towards gaining the perceived college prize. Not to say we are wrong, but I feel like I’ve been hypnotized. Sometimes I do break free and see how okay it all will be–come what may. </p>

<p>My own dear S2 is on spring break and we’ve been having a great time this week. Lots of time together, which I treasure. First time in a long long while where there has been no papers due, not essays for scholarships to write, no list of To dos that will not end. But I’ll admit, S2 has also been extremely detached from thinking about his choices. To my surprise, he has has not yet even boarded the SS Indecision, where I had thoughtfully pre-booked him his own dang stateroom, knowing his legendary difficulty choosing anything important. Since we haven’t gotten to the point where we know which schools are ultimately affordable, he’s still in limbo. Arg. There have been hopeful signs and not so hopeful, since some important FA awards will change dramatically when S1 graduates college next year. We will be talking to FinAid offices next week, getting some idea how low that number will drop, discussing merit awards (there is some additional drama there), thinking of FA appeals. I dread it, frankly. </p>

<p>The good news is: in the wake of this limbo, he has clearly been drawn to three of his schools, and has another one that I like in back-up position, so I feel he’s made a good start at narrowing the field. We will attend 2 admitted student open houses hosted specifically for his major next week, so I’m hoping we’ll get a real idea of what classes/ opportunities will be available SHOULD we be able to afford them. Siiigh. </p>

<p>So we must keep our emotions in check yet another week at least, maybe longer. In the end, the $$ may make the decision. He has known this all along, but I don’t know how he truly feels to have it so out of all of our control. Anyone else having to let the money decide? How’s it going?</p>

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<p>Hey, I have a D in the class of '21 too. You and I are in this for the long haul. :D</p>

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<p>madbean–same here with the finances maybe making the decision, and we still have to wait…and wait. D1 and I will both be very happy to eventually disembark from SS Indecision but unfortunately it’s going to be a while.</p>

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<p>yes and no. S got an amazing merit scholarship to Marquette (almost full tuition) and emails and calls from the school. He felt the love and decided on Marquette while we stood in the background with our fingers crossed. We have money saved and we could have made any place work for him, but it would have meant his younger sis would not be able to attend private til high school. We didn’t pressure him to make the most affordable choice, but he knew his choice would influence where his sister went. Younger sis would have loved attending our local middle school, she has many friends there. So by choosing a more expensive choice, she would not have felt limited in attending public. But, by signing on to this most affordable choice, we told him he is committed to a similar level of spending (with normal yearly increases) for the next 4 years if younger sis goes to private. He is really excited about Marquette, and so am I. We still haven’t decided where younger sis will go, but she now has options she didn’t a few weeks ago. </p>

<p>I hope the money works in your S’s favor and he gets lots of choices at the top of his list.</p>

12827

<p>I did what I promised today, and when I told D all I wanted was for her to follow her heart, she said, “I KNOW, Mom. You’ve already said that.”</p>

<p>H was smarter. He said, “Hey, what are the food plans like at your favorite schools?” (she’s basically choosing from among 3). She said, “Gee, I don’t know,” ran to get the laptop, and started searching the websites.</p>

<p>Interestingly, the LAC didn’t have much to say about food services. The private with the BFA had what she called “awesome dining halls,” and the big state U had, of course, lots of options (which is one of its negatives: too many options, not quite the “family” feeling she’d prefer).</p>

<p>She’s also gotten some sweet e-mails from kids she met while auditioning for the BFA and is enjoying chatting with them. One thing going for that school is an absolutely fantastic department secretary/administrator (not sure of her title, but I think it’s really Mother-of-Them-All), and she hooked D up with these kids. THAT is personal attention, which can really make all the difference.</p>

12828

<p>Emmybet- boy having a great dept secretary administrator is a huge plus! sounds great!</p>

12829

<p>Good Morning!</p>

<p>I cannot thank you enough for all your support! I wanted to just let everyone know we are OK-we had quite the day here yesterday but I think we have passed the worst of it and we are fine-please don’t worry! There are some really nice people on here and I am so grateful for their generosity and kindness-I really am. </p>

<p>So a new week starts and with it a new perspective. He told me he was over the Ivy stuff by Friday-he had looked at the acceptance threads and seen what it took to compete at that level and had already realized, without me even having to tell him-that he didn’t invest the time and effort into his applications that he should have-but he feels after seeing all the incredible people both accepted and not accepted that he isn’t ready for those places-yet! </p>

<p>He also told me that what happened Saturday with his friend was very hard because he was OK with everything and that was quite a jolt. He said even at his school, which is not the most competitive place in the world, that in the top of the class there is a lot of who’s going where and who is going to a better school and much as he knows it’s stupid you can get sucked into it. I told him he can go to the same school as his friend or one of the higher ranked schools he was accepted to if he wants and feels they are better fits for him. We can handle them-in part because he got some really nice MA awards.</p>

<p>He is down to the final two but as sure as he can be (and if you’ve followed this saga you know what I mean) about where he wants to be next year-the best place for him-and it is a school he didn’t even want to apply to he hated it so much on his first visit-but now he is excited to be going to. His reasons are solid and I agree it is the best place for him.</p>

<p>So I’ll share it with you-reminding you (and me) that until we have our next visit Saturday for admitted undeclared honors students it’s not final-that my son has chosen Northeastern University! He is a Husky now!</p>

<p>I never would have thought starting out in this process that would be the place for him-he sure didn’t think so! It’s been an amazing journey for both of us-me helping him yet realizing were I end and he begins-certainly difficult to do as you watch your baby turn into a young man. I still struggle with it but I am trying-like all of us are.</p>

<p>I want to thank every single person who has helped me on here-I have met some wonderful people here and I hope have made some new lifetime friends.</p>

12830

<p>I don’t have time to catch up yet, but I wanted to share a reminder. I was doing taxes and looking over receipts yesterday…I saw the charge for the housing deposit we put down back in October for D’s safety. I was too late to get the whole amount refunded but we’ll get most of it back. So if you put down a housing deposit on a school your child won’t be attending, don’t forget to cancel ASAP.</p>

12831

<p>Hello everyone!</p>

<p>Pepper03 ~ Happy to hear your S made a decision and hope he doesn’t change his mind. YAY for Northeastern U!</p>

<p>mamom ~ H would prefer S picked the least expensive college, but we are lucky either choice would be feasible. I think S should follow his heart on that one.</p>

12832

<p>Good morning: It finally feels like spring here.</p>

<p>Mamom: I think that it’s really nice that your son took his sisters HS options into account when he made his decision. I’m glad that he is excited by his choice. It sounds like they have made him feel very special and wanted.</p>

<p>Pepper: I’m glad to hear that your son has bounced back and made a great decision. Congratulations on Northeastern! A few kids from my area attend and they love it. Maybe our kids will meet up in Boston next year.</p>

<p>Aria: Good luck as your son makes his decision. I agree that he should follow his heart if the expenses are doable. It’s always nice to save money, but what better investment can we make than our kid’s future?</p>

12833

<p>Thanks all for the sympathy. On reflection I know I was just whinging and most likely caught the school on a bad day. That said, I think EmmyBet captured what I would like at least a little of for my D:

That is so wonderful for your D! A little support (NOT handholding) goes a long way. </p>

<p>Fingers crossed it all works out for all our kids. It sounds like a lot have made great choices and for others the available options are good, too. I think for my D this is just a part of life’s path where every decision has positives but very real negatives too. She will be fine wherever she chooses.</p>

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<p>kinderny I don’t think it is whining at all.</p>

<p>We are all here to support each other through this process (ordeal???).</p>

<p>I know getting things out on here helped me immensely-and at times kept me from taking a tire iron to my kid. ;)</p>

<p>I will continue to offer support where I can and to ask for support when I need it. </p>

<p>I figure on any given day there are people in a really good place, people in a not so good place, and most somewhere in between. We take what we need, and give back what we can-and it all balances out in the end!</p>

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<p>Pepper - Congratulations! My D also didn’t want to apply to NEU but guess what, that is where she is going! She was really surprised at how much she liked it when we visited. Maybe we will meet at a parent’s session some time! Everytime I have told somebody that I do business with that my D decided on NEU, the first thing they say is “Great school, she will have a job when she graduates. I am always impressed by NEU grads.”</p>

<p>To those that are still on the SS Indecision and that are having ups and downs - hang in there, it it almost over. But, after talking to my 2010 graduate parent friends, I am begining to think once they make the decision, it is just a lull in the storm. The wind just changes direction.</p>

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<p>The name of the game for me is get my three kids a good education with the least amount of debt.</p>

<p>My daughter is exceptional in many ways and has recieved some very generous offers. Having talked with many people about college costs and debt I have heard many stories.
Graduates of Notrev Dame saddled with 100k in debt working as school teachers, Doctors owing so much they can not afford to open a private practice.</p>

<p>My daughter went to her safety, a “Public Ivy” liked it maybe did not love it, but thats OK. She had conversations with more than one really smart kids that had supposedly been accepted at th HYPS group and had opted out for the more affordable public ivy. One made the comment “it was the best decision I have ever made” the other said that he was going to continue on in school and would save these options for graduate studies(which is a good plan).</p>

<p>I guess I have a bad case of buyer beware. So while we want the best for our kids I guess the question is, what really is the best best choice with the criteria for each family being different. Food for thought(while we can still afford food!)</p>

<p>Yes we are stowaways on the USS Indecision. </p>

<p>Have a great Day</p>

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<p>vanmo1 ~ I hear you. I have only one child, so that makes things a lot easier when it’s time for college.</p>

12838

<p>Good morning all, and congrats to your kids that have made decisions. The best is yet to come!</p>

<p>We’re 99% sure here at our house, pending admitted students day on Friday. I would be extremely surprised if anything happens there that will change her mind. So here is our saga, in a (big) nutshell.</p>

<p>This is our second go-round with this process. S is a junior at University of Maryland. He was never really interested in college visits, but D was a different story. We’ve been excitedly visiting colleges for a couple of years now. At first, D was sure she wanted to go to California. We visited USC, Occidental, Chapman, LMU, Pomona, and CMC. Then the next year we went back there and revisited most of them again. At that point, she decided she was sold on Chapman. This was one year ago. She had a small list of schools that offered merit aid, and that was where she was going to focus her attention. </p>

<p>Then she got her ACT score back, and it was much better than her SAT score had been. She’s always had a 4.0 and taken the hardest course-load available. So she suddenly wondered if maybe she could get into some really selective colleges - and suddenly that became her focus. She took almost all the other schools off her list (kept Chapman, although it lost its lustre awhile ago for her) and set about writing essays and crafting her applications to these tippy-top schools. I wouldn’t say I encouraged her, exactly, but I definitely supported her. I took her to the midwest and east coast to visit schools. And I asked her to keep a financial safety and a couple of matches on the list. Sadly, I watched the merit money prospects slip away.</p>

<p>She applied ED to a school which rejected her, and that sent her into a panic which made her want to add more reaches, rather than more matches. I let her go that direction, knowing that we had a rolling school in the bag and one safe bet coming. That was my biggest mistake. I should have reasoned with her to add more matches, but any time I suggested it, she took it to mean that I didn’t have faith in her. It was tough, and I didn’t want to crush her spirit any more than it already was.</p>

<p>She did not apply to any local schools, unless you count the one state school 5 hours away. And then the boyfriend came into the picture. Just one (long) month ago, she applied to Willamette University at his suggestion. (It is his “dream” school - but he might not be able attend because of finances.) She applied there last minute, thinking “why not?” We visited, she absolutely loved it, met an amazingly supportive professor in her major, and she was accepted with a large merit scholarship. </p>

<p>I worried that she would end up having to choose between the school close to home (read: boyfriend) or the big-name school back east. Turns out, she didn’t have to choose. She didn’t get into any of the big-name schools back east. She ended up with four acceptances, one being the in-state safety she never seriously considered, one being Chapman (big scholarship from them, too), one is Macalester in St. Paul (which she liked OK but it was never high on her list), and Willamette with merit $. And a couple of WL that she doesn’t want to stay on. So it’s down to Chapman, Mac and Willamette. Chapman is sunny and near Disneyland! And they gave her lots of money. But other than that, doesn’t have a huge draw for her. Mac is a cool college in a cool city, but no merit $, far away, never high on her list anyway, and in a very different climate. Willamette gave her less $ than Chapman, but costs less too, so it about evens out. There is a hospital right across the street, which is important to her because she volunteers regularly and will be pre-med. It’s an easy 1 hour drive from home, but not close enough that Mom and Dad will be popping in to visit all the time. It’s a nice campus in a downtown location with just the right number of students. And the vibe, the fit, the feeling, is 100% Willamette.</p>

<p>A year ago, I never imagined she’d end up at Willamette. But I am so happy now because I think it’s exactly the right place for her. If all goes well, after Friday, I’ll be posting on the Drumroll thread!</p>

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<p>Wonderful story, O-mom! </p>

<p>I am with you on the “gee, honey, should you apply to those reaches?” kind of second-guessing. You just can’t look your kid in the eye and say “I don’t believe in you enough” - they’ll hear that even if you’re really saying “I can’t stand that you’ll have too much disappointment.” You made the right decision at the time, I know. </p>

<p>But then your wish came true, and she DID find a new match school, and DID love it, and IS going there!! Wow!!!</p>

<p>This is really an inspirational story, and a great example for anyone who is going through the process in future years - that it ain’t over until it’s over.</p>

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<p>Omom – So happy for you and your daughter. Congrats to her on finding a great fit. Hope she likes Willamette even more after Friday. And it’s so great that she will be close (but not too close) to home.</p>

<p>Yesterday our S was finally ready to say No to 3 of the colleges he was admitted to. Each one of them has a less expensive and a better option (as far as fit and the strength of my S major goes) still on the list. Two of the schools gave him merit money and he wanted to release them, so they can go to other students. Anyway, when he tried to decline the offer of admission on-line, he couldn’t do it w/o specifying what school he chose to attend. And he just felt that putting ‘Undecided’ would seam extremely insulting (like in ‘I don’t know where I am going, but certainly not to your college’). So, how are your kids handling this?</p>