<p>Yay, today D got a scholarship award letter in the mail from the organization she volunteers for. $1000. 
Right away she asked me if I will set that money, and her other scholarship money, aside for her medical school.</p>
<p>What are your thoughts on that? We are paying 100% of undergrad.</p>
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<p>When my son won a small scholarship, they sent the check directly to the school. It would make me nervous to tell them to send the check four years from now. Of course, you could have them pay the school, then you could put $1000 in her account.</p>
<p>^ Yes, the check goes to the school. She means she wants me to help her out with med school expenses by giving her or her med school an amount equalling all her scholarship awards when the time comes.</p>
<p>Help! Just learned son is going to prom after all. How much should I expect to pay for tux rental typically? Do they charge extra for alterations? How does it all work?</p>
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<p>I deliberately didnāt quote or include those with autism/learning disabilities/challenges in my comments. </p>
<p>Unless people work at home, most pepople have to use a public facility from time to timeā¦whether it be to travel, be in a restaurant, attend a play, shop in a mall etc etc.</p>
<p>I was thinkng about the posts about kids and dorm bathsāI do wonder how many kids who wrote about community service and social justice in their college essays --have they actually ever lived with limited facilities for any length of time? Will they have issues in a dorm/public bathroom. </p>
<p>It is very much a western mindset. Having worked, lived and traveled in many far reached placesāwhat we think we must have and what we need are different things. College brings the opportunity to grow and be stretched out of our comfort zones. Housing and lifestyle being one small part.</p>
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<p>Noted. But I donāt think anyone chooses to have phobias, or has phobias because they are spoiled. (My mother has a real phobia about meat that is not very well done, and that comes from growing up poor [and eating food that wasnāt all that wholesome], not rich.) I agree that phobias can be very limiting. The same germophobe secretary who has a hard using the restroom also wonāt eat at any of our pot lucks or catered events because of the same fear of germs. Thatās her loss.</p>
<p>My point is neither to defend nor judge people who have the types of issues. My point was that if your child has these issues, donāt ignore them and think theyāll go away in college. I know a high school girl who will only eat macaroni and cheese. Sheāll eat other things when sheās hungry enough you say? No, she passed out on a school trip from not eating. Yes thatās odd and yes maybe her parents could have nipped that on the bud when she was little. But when it comes time for college, they are really going to need to take a hard look at food issues.</p>
<p>fogfog - I have two teen girls, both have done a ton of service work both here and in third world countries. However, one prefers the down and dirty manual labor and one would rather tutor and work in the soup kitchen. The one that doesnāt mind getting dirty aspires to serve in the Peace Corps. The other canāt figure out why her sister would even consider that. Both were brought up in the same household, both have had the same opportunities, both have been exposed to the same values , and both are very different from each other. One is definitely going to have a adjustment with the communal bathroom, the other will not. Go figure.</p>
<p>Missypie, I agree with you. My friendās son suffers from anxiety and had problems handling the bathrooms and dining hall in college. Fortunately, his school was close enough that he ended up commuting. He was much more comfortable living at home and did manage to complete college, graduate and get accepted to grad school.</p>
<p>^ I do hear you MissyPie, really</p>
<p>And there are tons of kids who HAVE to have
the latest cell phone
name brand clothes
the private bath, walk in closet etc</p>
<p>They think they Must have Air conditioning in a dorm or they will just ādieā
They want their car on campus</p>
<p>They are used to living in nice homes under nice conditions (general population)</p>
<p>and for some the thought of sharing a bath with others is just abhorrant
ā¦and so wanting a single/private bath is about being spoiled. </p>
<p>I am still shocked when American adults are shocked to learn that in many western european hotels the bath is on the hallā¦
Where have they been, its 2011! </p>
<p>Americans are by and large spoiledā¦
We practically have a whole aisle of toilet paper, thatās embarassing!
I (and family including the kids) have lived places where the paper was brown and similar to paper bags on a rollā¦and the plumbing couldnāt handle itāso that used paper was put in a basket next to the toilet and someone emptied it each day.
Other places we lived had a small walled in space with a pit, and you stood over it where everything dropped inā¦</p>
<p>My point is we can all learn to live differently/adjustāitās really a matter of being teachable and open mindedā¦</p>
<p>People with real phobias need counseling, sureā¦
People with disabilities that make change a challenge need supportā¦
People with closed minds are different and my point is that in general, American teens are very very spoiled compared to the worldās population. Our dorms even with shared baths are so great compared to facilities in other parts of the world. Its a great learning/growth opportunity for the general population.</p>
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<p>So onto something elseā¦</p>
<p>Grad gifts??</p>
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<p>My Dās shirt says āAnd then Buffy staked Edward.ā</p>
<p>omom, congrats on ANOTHER scholarship. They all add up.</p>
<p>arisamp: you are not the only mean mom. DS2 and I just had the conversation about APs. He had 3 last year and 4 this year, and his program in college wonāt take any of them. He was inclined to go take the tests (he is required to) but not study too much. I reminded him that his scores reflect on the school and his teacher, and also that at least for a year afterwards, those AP designations (with honor, distinction, etc.) will go on his resume and will show a work ethic and achievement when heās looking for a summer job. I told him he could dial down the level of intensity once the APs are over.</p>
<p>The parents of the kids of the HS class of '10 are reporting on another thread how wonderful freshman year has been. Maybe theyāre an exeptional class. The class of '09 has had some crash and burn situations and some almost crashing and burning. Some stories have had really unhappy endings. </p>
<p>College is not the time to ignore or try to cure certain issues. If you have a sick feeling in your gut when you think about how your child will cope in college due to his anxiety, or tendency to be socially isolated, or noise intollerance or whatever, donāt ignore it. Donāt think that because āeveryoneā tells you it will be okay that it will be okay. You know your child best. You know the difference between a princess who has never had to share a bathroom and a girl who will not go all day to keep from having to use a public bathroom.</p>
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<p>I agree. But let a deal killer for the student be a deal killer. If your child has been admitted to a nice group of schools, all of which would be great, I donāt see a problem nixing a school based on the dorms like dungeons or lack of AC or horrible food or lack of a nearby movie theatre or whatever.</p>
<p>I think us '10ers have been fortunate overall but weāve definitely shared trials and tribulations of our college freshman. Many have been surprised that while parenting changes our job certainly isnāt yet done and weāre now in uncharted territory. I agree wholeheartedly to know your kids, trust your instincts and be prepared for curve balls of all sizes! :)</p>
<p>@ nicekidsmom - For a tux I would really recommend buying a nice, plain, black suit that you can use for prom and into college. Last year bluejr had two proms and we ended up buying him a black suit from JCPenney, sold as separates, for around $120. This was less then renting a tux twice. He already had nice black dress shoes and a white dress shirt. He liked the look of a regular tie, vest, and dress shirt as opposed to a white tux shirt, bow tie, and cumberbund. We bought him a solid tie and pattern on pattern vest. Other than the black satin stripe down the leg and satin lapels, it looks just like a tux. Since it was bought as separates no alterations were needed and it fit much, much better than the tux we rented the year before. Heās all set for prom this year, however he may opt for a tie/vest to match his gfās dress. Well worth the investment!</p>
<p>Good idea, Blue! He has a black suit from J.C. Penney and doesnāt want the cumberbund look. Didnāt think about just checking on a vest and the like. hmmmmm ā¦ Thanks!</p>
<p>^ Sometimes what we need is right in front of us! We actually bought the vest/tie directly from a tux rental co. I know other people have had great luck finding fun vests at places like TJ Maxx or Marshalls. They then just find a solid tie to match at a department store.</p>
<p>That is a great idea about buying a suit and then renting or looking for a vest! We spent $82 last year on a tux rental and the only thing son liked was the shiny shoes!</p>
<p>Somebody asked a couple of pages ago about the late date of graduation. Iām in Pennsylvania, but our schools generally start the Tuesday after labor day and our school schedules 185 class days plus five snow days. There are also in-service days and the breaks None of us like the late ending date and FINALLY they are changing it. School will start Aug. 29th this year and end June 1st. No snow days built in so this will be interesting. Not that I care a whole bunch! I think I have Mom-itis. I am ready for this school year to be over!</p>
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My S was also offered work study, even though we donāt qualify for FA. When I looked into it further thinking it was a mistake this is the answer I got. "This is NOT Federal Work Study. It is not credited to your student Bursar account. Students who work on campus are paid by the hour and receive a bi-monthly pay check. " So it looks like it comes out of institutional funds. We has originally thought we might need S to take out a loan which is why we filed FAFSA. Ends up we donāt but I am liking the small amount of work study he was offered</p>
<p>When I spoke about D and the communal bath, it was because we were looking for something, no matter how small, that would move one of the colleges to the top of the list and we could finally be off the SS Indecision. The 3 schools left on her list are all pretty equal - program, fin. aid. etc. </p>
<p>I truly apologize if my comments offended anyone. She is by no means a princess (though I do call her that!). </p>
<p>Again, Iām sorry if this offended anyone.</p>