Parents of the HS Class of 2011 - Original

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
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<p>Drivers Ed....yikes! DS turns 16 in April. Haven't researched the law yet, it recently changed for those of us in MA. I believe S has to take driver's ed and the parents are required to take a 2 hour class also. I am hoping we can fit it in during the summer somehow, I guess I need to start researching. </p>

<p>I am so not looking forward to letting him practice while I am in the car, but am looking forward to making sure he doesn't do all those things other driver do that make me crazy, like turning on your directional half way through the turn, etc. Oh, and the insurance, yikes.</p>

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missypie--how many of us are there with elevenses and oh niners? (Your comment on the 09 board about tap dancers' energy policy was hysterical!)

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<p>and </p>

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Yeah, I wonder how many of us there are. I bet quite a few. If you're like me, your 09 and your 11 are not only not clones, but are nothing alike....different scores, different grades, different interests, thus totally different schools.

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<p>I have a 2010er and an 11er (Jr. D and Soph. S) and they are totally different in every respect like your kids, Missypie. This is going to be interesting...</p>

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<p>Hoping I can get this out of my system prior to going home and seeing DS (and the D does not stand for dear right now). Report cards were just posted on line for 2nd qtr along with midyear exam. DS does have a heavy load, 4 honors classes, but except for the honors chemistry we think he is in the right classes. His chemistry teacher has a very bad rep and we never should have let DS sign up for honors chem, any other teacher it would be OK, but not this one. Can't switch now, actually tried to switch when we got his assignments at beginning of year and couldn't switch then either (no openings in regular chem).</p>

<p>So I looked at his report card this morning and wouldn't you know it, for the most part his grades slipped from B+ to B or B-, except for chemistry where they went from a C- to a C. English stayed at a B. Could be worse I guess, except in 4 out of 6 classes he got a 2 in effort and in 2 out of 6 classes he got a 2 in citizenship. I have a son who can, but chooses not to. He did minimal studying for midterms, and rarely puts in any extra effort without a boot to the backside. He has not played a school sport since football ended in November and is only playing rec bball right now once a week and ref's bball a couple of hours. He is a boy scout, but that takes up only a couple hours a week in general. He has plenty of time for his xbox 360 so time is not an issue, imo.</p>

<p>I thought he was motivated at the beginning of the year, especially when he saw the grades needed to get into the colleges he has expressed an interest in. I don't want to yell and scream at him but I am extremely disappointed in him. </p>

<p>My questions for other parents of unmotivated kids, how much do you ride them at this stage of the game? Or do I just let the chips fall where they may. ....sigh</p>

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<p>mamom, has he taken the PSAT or SAT? You could take his current GPA and test scores and compare them to the 50th percentile at the schools of his choice. If he wouldn't get in, show him in a non-confrontational way. Of course, that could backfire. He could have heard that people have a great time at [insert name of low tier public in your state] and be just fine with going there.</p>

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<p>He recently got back his results from the PSAT, he scored a 197 or 198, can't remember. He took the SAT in 8th grade for the CTY program and scored in the 51st % for math and 79% for reading. (don't remember exact scores) I expect his SAT scores will be good enough to get him in where he wants to go. (not looking at HYP) His GPA, OTOH will not. Or his GPA will be on the low end of the scale. We did look at a the stats for kids admitted last year to a few colleges he is interested in attending and I really thought it motivated him to at least maintain that B+ he seems to fall into naturally, but I guess not. </p>

<p>We will have to revisit this issue again over the weekend. I think the college thing is far enough in the future he doesn't get the impact these grades could have. Or he needs constant reminding.</p>

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<p>I am REALLY happy S is applying to Simon's Rock, because I certainly don't want to see what I'd turn into should he reach his senior year and be applying to 8 or 10 or 12 schools....</p>

<p>mamom, do pluses and minuses count overall? Do they get reported with the + or -? Do colleges take them into consideration? (I don't know, which is why I'm asking. S's school doesn't use + or - at all.) </p>

<p>In any case, your S still has Bs of some flavor in his B classes, but has pulled up the C- in his hardest class to a C. Celebrate the effort needed for that, perhaps?</p>

<p>(IOW, I got nothing for you; I have a kid who doesn't study, too...)</p>

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<p>When all is said and done, my son will have had 11 AP classes...mostly Bs...an occasional A and I think one semester of C. Two schools commented that they were impressed by how much he challenged himself.</p>

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<p>Missypie,
I assume that to be able to have taken 11 AP's your son has already started to take them. DS is now having to think about next years schedule. Up to now, he has not been offered any AP classes, only honors. He will have taken 5 honors classes by years end. How many AP's does one normally take at once. DS is thinking of AP ecconomics, history and math next year. That would give him 3 plus whatever he takes Sr. year. Will that be enough? He does well in English, (well he has an aptitude for it) should we also push for him to take AP English?</p>

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<p>I'm not really one to ask because my kids' HS pushes AP classes to an insane degree. Our school doesn't offer "Honors" anything. After 10th grade, it's Regular or AP. Not the best choices for the "above average."</p>

<p>Son is the oldest of three kids and the younger two will not be taking nearly as many AP classes. He should not have taken at least two of them and his GPA would have been higher if he had taken the "regular" version of several other of the classes. </p>

<p>But, Son has enjoyed the teachers and his classmates - the higher level of discussion, etc. He would rather be in the AP classes with the brightest kids and get an 80 than get a 100 while sitting in class with a bunch of kids who don't care. (Not saying all regular classes are like that, but quite a few are at our HS.)</p>

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<p>No advice here, mamom, but lots of sympathy! You're wise to come here first. I have a friend I call when I want to vent about one of my kids. Our kids are so much alike that whatever it is, the other has experienced a similar situation with one or the other of her kids. I do think it is hard for lots of kids at this age to choose the best option for long-term good over the immediately gratifying one. I can relate to the chem teacher problem as my son is in the exact situation with his. The teacher is extremely dedicated, but the teaching style doesn't mesh well with my son's learning style. </p>

<p>Owlice, but if your son gets accepted, you won't be able to go through all of this with us senior year, and that would be sad. On a non-selfish note, I hope it all works out for him. When do you find out? Can I bring you donuts while you're waiting?</p>

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<p>2blue, that's very sweet of you; thank you!!</p>

<p>Most kids (60% or so) at Simon's Rock transfer to other schools after their sophomore year, so there may be additional opportunities for me to use the rubber room that should have been already built for my impending (or already demonstrated) madness. Is it possible to eat doughnuts while wearing a straitjacket? If so, bring 'em on, and thank you!!</p>

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<p>That said, I do wonder whether to keep this kid in high school for another year or two. I'm confident he would be NMSF (though maybe wouldn't make finalist, as he doesn't have a lot of ECs), and that opens up doors for merit money at a lot of schools. We're in that great broad middle-income bracket, and live in a high-cost area. I had not moved S's college funds from mutuals to safer investments before the market collapse; I had planned to do that this year, thinking we had a couple more years, possibly three if he took a gap year, to save. H, whom I married almost a couple of years ago, just started working again, after having left Cornell to come here to marry me. So now our combined income looks good, but we don't have savings to match. (He is also behind on retirement savings, not a good place to be at 54! I am now, too, given the market's performance.)</p>

<p>ExH has a good salary, and Simon's Rock is a Profile school, so between the two households, I'm thinking there will not be any needs-based aid for this child o' ours. Yet, the 529 exH has is very small; the only money's he's been putting into it are the state-mandated child support payments, as we agreed.</p>

<p>So... I don't know whether it makes financial sense for S to apply to Simon's Rock. Academically and socially, I think it's a great, great fit for him, but without merit money, for which there is likely to be a lot of competition (my "duh" statement for the hour), he will not be able to go. I'm glad he's brave enough to apply, and I hope he takes whatever comes of this gracefully.</p>

<p>If only so many choices didn't come down to affordability, but they do, they do.</p>

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<p>I won't attempt to approach your catering prowess, but consider those donuts passed! Affordability is a major concern, and your situation sounds like you will get hit on the need-based aid. </p>

<p>I am almost positive ECs don't play a role in NM Finalist status. It seems to me my oldest had to list ECs on his paperwork, but I believe ECs would just be used to help determine who gets the one-time $2500 scholarships from National Merit or possibly the Corporate scholarships. I did some googling and found this: <a href="http://www.nationalmerit.org/Merit_R&I_Leaflet.pdf%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.nationalmerit.org/Merit_R&I_Leaflet.pdf&lt;/a> Practically all semi-finalists go on to be finalists. The reasons for not going on seem to be not returning the paperwork (the most common reason), having poor grades, or not taking the SAT. There are a few kids who have been suspended, etc. who don't go on either.</p>

<p>While I know some schools offered more to finalists than semi-finalists, it seems most of the full-rides just specified semi-finalist.</p>

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<p>Well H and I have talked to DS about his report card. I think we handled it well, no raised voices, etc. DS understands, well I would like to think he does, that these grades and all future grades will determine where he ends up for college. Whether that motivates him or not I don't know. He is a good kid, a smart kid who really could do so much better at school. I am frustrated that he isn't making the most of the opportunities presented to him, but am at a loss as to how to motivate him. The hovering, yelling etc has not worked in the past so we will let him achieve or not on his own.</p>

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<p>mamom, we're in a similar situation w/ S. Nagging and hovering are exhausting, not to mention a strain on our relationship. This year we created a sort of "Homeland Security" type discipline situation. First progress report was not good (2 C's if I recall). He was placed on "yellow" restriction, which meant he couldn't go out during the week--e.g. no watching the girls' volleyball match. He's not allowed out much during the week, so this wasn't too big a deal, but it did bug him. First report card failed to show sufficient progress (and we made goals with him, so he knew exactly what expectations were), so threat level was raised to "orange"--no going out during the week and grounded one night on the weekend. S is very social, so this was a huge punishment for him. Next progress report he met his goals, security back down to "green". "Red" would have been full grounding.</p>

<p>There was some wheedling, complaining, attempted negotiations, but for the most part he accepted the restrictions. After Christmas break he admitted to some back sliding before the holidays and asked us to stay on him! I'm a big fan of choices and consequences. I did consider letting him make his own choices about studying in h.s. and facing the consequences come college application time, but ultimately H and I decided to try to help him have good options. He'll probably never be a straight A student, and we've made peace with that. </p>

<p>The other great motivator for S is that he's in driver's ed. He had to wait a month past his birthday to get his learner's permit because of his grades. He knows if his grades slip he won't be driving, whether the state is crazy enough to give him a license or not.</p>

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<p>ooooo. I like that last one for my D.........i'll file that for later.....</p>

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<p>DS just started getting emails from colleges last night. I assume in response to the PSAT he took last fall. Will definitely give us some ideas of schools to look at in June when we take 3 weeks to visit colleges DS may be interested in.</p>

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<p>Thats great news! I am hoping my D will get some now as well. Her brother is waiting on his applications, and I dont want her to get that left out feeling.</p>

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<p>Owlice, do write more about Simon's Rock. What kinds od kids attend, why do you feel it will be a great fir for your son? Have you been there?
I am very curious...</p>

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<p>2blue, thanks for the doughnuts; much appreciated (and very yummy!!)!!</p>

<p>Kelowna, all of the kids at Simon's Rock start there after their sophomore or junior year of high school. Average age of incoming freshmen is 16; there are about 400-450 kids there total, so it's a very small school. S and I visited in November, on one of the school's Discovery Days. The weather could have been better the day we were there, but even in the rain, the beauty of the area is evident. The school has a nice campus, with a mix of older and a few new buildings (most notably, a new science center).</p>

<p>Discovery Day was on a Saturday. I had had a meeting at S's school until nearly 6 PM or so the Friday before; I got home very late, and still had to pack stuff and throw it into the car before the seven-or-so-hour drive. S slept in the car for several hours; we stopped for the night about 1 AM, and wow, he was sooooo groggy and ready to fall right back to sleep! I got up at 6 and got him up a bit after that so that we could continue the journey; he was still really tired (oh, as if <em>I</em> were fresh as a peach!), and didn't perk up until well into the day. </p>

<p>We arrived in time for the 9 AM orientation. The registration table was manned (heh) by two students, one a slight, friendly girl, and the other a tall burly guy with pink hair and wearing a kilt, also friendly. I immediately liked the place, and thought S would, too! </p>

<p>After a quick orientation, students went off to a simulated class -- as it was Saturday, real classes were not in session -- and parents went to hear a presentation and participate in a Q&A session about early college, and SR in particular.</p>

<p>I don't know that my kid got much out of the class; he was really tired. Another family from S's high school was there; the mom and I had emailed each other earlier in the week and discovered we were both going to visit the school that Saturday. The boys went to the same class. </p>

<p>We got a tour of the campus -- rain! drizzle! mud! and more mud! -- and then S went off for an interview while parents who were interested attended a session on financial aid. (PROFILE school, does not meet full-need, merit scholarships are possible, and for the best of them, app must be in by February 1; otherwise, deadline for the fall semester is very late.)</p>

<p>Oh, somewhere in there -- before the financial aid talk/interview -- we had lunch. The cafeteria seemed small because it had a lot of extra people in it. Kids were very friendly; a girl with bleached blonde-and-lime-green hair from the table next to ours came over to talk to us, and other students joined in the conversation. The students were very forthright in their assessment of the school, with lots of praise overall, and a few minor complaints (about the food, for example!). </p>

<p>I think this school would be a fabulous fit for my S. It has a very CTY-like feel to it, from the understanding the faculty has of the emotional development of the kids to the passion for giving kids hungry for knowledge a real education. The relationship between the professors and the students is informal, in that the professors are called by their first names by the students, and nurturing, as one would find at other good LACs.</p>

<p>Population there now is about 70% girls to 30% boys. S generally does better in classrooms with an even mix or more girls (the type of competition that exists is different than in an overwhelmingly male class), so I'm even happy about the girl-boy ratio! Classes are discussion-based and very small, perhaps 10-14 in a class.</p>

<p>The kids are quirky, the adults know they are role models and non-parental parental stand-ins (as if that makes any sense!) and mentors in addition to professors, and the feel of the place... yeah, I think it's a great fit for my spawn. I can wish it weren't quite so far away, and that it didn't require as much cold-weather clothing as going there would require, and that we could afford to pay for it without needing merit aid, but the fit strikes me as excellent for my son.</p>

<p>~~~</p>

<p>On another note... the kid had 100 new emails today -- the college mailfest has begun at last!! Woo-hoo!!! Only in email so far, save for one bulk marketing snail mail piece from.... Simon's Rock!!</p>