<p>^^^ A parent in the beach house would make me feel better if it were my student. It doesn’t mean nothing would happen, however there would be someone there to do a head check once a day.</p>
<p>Having said this… I don’t face this until next year. It’s VERY easy to dole out advise to other people when you haven’t been there yet.
I do have an older son, but he is pretty quiet so we haven’t faced this yet.</p>
<p>Well I wish my S had some self motivation to study for upcoming AP tests. He studied last night for about 45 minutes after I asked him to. He tells me that all the studying needed is being done in class. I tell him there is nothing wrong with a little extra effort on his part. I don’t really care if he gets credit for any of his AP classes. Actually, if he ended up changing to math or eng I would want him to repeat Calc in college anyway. </p>
<p>S got hired for his first ever job as a jr camp counselor this summer. Now we have the hurdle of trying to get his working papers signed. Because he goes to private school he has to either have the superintendents office in the town he attends school or the town he lives in sign the papers. Neither is convenient, and I think it is ridiculous that a 17yo needs to have these papers signed. At 17yo you can outright quit school. I don’t remember having to get working papers when I started working at 16yo. We tried to get this done last Friday, but there was a drawbridge stuck in the up position near his school causing major traffic jams so I couldn’t get in to his school to pick him up. He then took the train which subsequently got held up for an hour because of a fire on the tracks. Maybe today.</p>
<p>None of D’s AP teachers are having study sessions. Seems odd to me since almost all of Son’s teachers did, but I’d know from her friend’s mom if they were happening and D just isn’t going.</p>
<p>There is a fine line between giving them reasonable limits and also realizing they are out the door and on their own in the next yr. </p>
<p>In a yr-18 mos none of us will be there to wash clothes, make dinner, or handle any sort of paperwork, Drs appt stc…so they will be handling all of that, classes, practices, etc and facing making all of those good decisions we hope they will make…</p>
<p>At the same time–they are still minors and inclined to make less than stellar decisions at times…because there isn’t their own life experience to give them the guide-rails …that will come with more time
I think I recall reading about how the adolescent brain just isn’t fully mature until into their early 20s…</p>
<p>We are happy for our student to be facing making choices etc now–and deciding what is comfortable so as to not face those calls of judgement for the first time on a campus.
Are we naiive to think it will be all smooth and our student won’t make choices that might come with regrets…No certainly not…
We do at times–ask our student to think first about the “what ifs”…what if x,y,or z happens–what do you think you might do…
Because we want our student to feel empowered to be able to handle those things…not to go with fear of the unknown or feeling like it can’t be handled…</p>
<p>Someone posted that there is a parent who doesn’t allow the kid on field trips --that sounds like a good place for an intervention-- :rolleyes:
However–without knowing anything–Its possible the student need those boundaries right now–No way for us to know that…I just know it won’t work here–Our students would just not participate if we hung over them for everything</p>
<p>clear as mud?</p>
<p>One of dd’s AP teachers is having study sessions, and she is going faithfully because she really likes this teacher. She spent hours and hours doing 10!!! essays (questions from old exams, 2 pages each) which were due today. </p>
<p>This, though, is a class where she already has a high A and has been well-prepared throughout the year for the AP exam. </p>
<p>I have had no success getting her to be strategic and investing more time in the class which she finds difficult and poorly taught. There are no review sessions, so she is on her own. Her grade is somewhere south of an A at this point, and she says she is not at all ready for the AP test. She says “if the teacher doesn’t care how I do, why should I care?”</p>
<p>We talked about all the reasons that she does care. We talked about how she has been fortunate to have so many excellent teachers and in this one case, she must learn by herself, and FOR herself. She understands all this but ultimately she seems willing only to work hard for teachers she respects.</p>
<p>Of course I have some Mommy guilt too-I wish I had found a good tutor for her months ago. I’m a cheapskate though and kept thinking she would work things out on her own.</p>
<p>All so very interesting.</p>
<p>D said when she got the 5 on the practice test her teacher said, “Oh, really? How surprising.” Wouldn’t that make you burst with confidence? I’ve been sad she hasn’t clicked with this teacher - in conferences he’s all smiles, but he says a lot of things that really ding her self-esteem (and she can’t push above a B+ in the class). But what I’m glad about is that she is continuing with her own goals for herself, regardless of what he says or does. It might even be making her work harder, to show him up a bit. These personality things are so complicated. She’s the type who really appreciates support, but hates anything that smacks at all of “brown-nosing” (to a fault), has had a lot of highs and lows in her teacher relationships. I figure that’s all part of learning to deal with people and learning who she is and what she wants. She’s gotten a good look at some people’s dark underside, though, and definitely knows it’s there.</p>
<p>I know I came down hard on the house-renting thing; we’re actually quite lenient except about things like that, and I feel it’s all in good time. House-renting just seems like a college thing to me, like a road trip. But I’m letting my Ds get into all kinds of learning situations otherwise, as many as I can stand! D1 is coming home from South Africa next week - try that for letting your worries go and avoiding imagining what could go wrong! (And yes, I was a wild child of sorts - a “straight” one, but went all over the place with all kinds of people at all kinds of hours, don’t know how my parents stood it. But I was the 3rd after 2 brothers who’d been all over the world before they were 20, so it was usual in our house. I’ll admit that I could overcompensate a bit … although my kids don’t complain so much.)</p>
<p>“There would be moms in the beach house”…well that certainly helps, as long as the moms in question are not the “my kid HAS to be popular” type, if you know what I mean…</p>
<p>mamom: we have the same situation with working papers; apparently, they have very quick turnaround so no worries…we both have some time…</p>
<p>Speaking of May tests… I just got an email notification that my son’s school has had an emergency evacuation due to a suspected natural gas leak. Excellent! He was taking SOL’s today… not that big of a deal, but they are timed and will have to be moved to another day, crunching up the AP review schedule.
I’m praying that they don’t send the kids back in too soon. My son is prone to migraines and I have no idea if he would be more likely to be affected?</p>
<p>a mom who goes on field trips with the 11th grader? definitely in need of an intervention there…that child is going to cut loose more than any of the others once he/she is out of sight.</p>
<p>I have told my child (ad nauseum) that he’ll get out of this what he puts in…that said, I think he thinks that the review books are for decorative purpose only.</p>
<p>S went into school yesterday for a practice APUSH exam including the essay with his classmates and teacher. They will discuss the results today and finish up their review for the exam on Friday. Hopefully, S will squeeze in some extra time on his own in the evenings. He has a packed schedule this week with Jazz band concert and two games. He did say it was worth spending 4 hours at school on a Sunday morning…he felt it gave him a better feel for the exam. He did say it was tough and has mixed feeling on how he may have done. At least this was just for practice! :)</p>
<p>Prom was the weekend before and he had an amazing time! His school hosted “After Prom” at the local rec center until 3:30 am. Many went onto IHOP for breakfast afterwards. S and his date were so tired by then, they just came home. Happy to have a responsible kid!</p>
<p>Hope all your kids have a safe & wonderful Prom!</p>
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a mom who goes on field trips with the 11th grader?
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<p>Yes, there is such a mom. I figure if the trip happens (remember, they’re talking about this for after graduation, meaning most won’t still be minors) and D is willing to go along with this mom on the trip, nothing wild should happen. But then again, it’s a bunch of talk by 17 year olds. Most such trips fall through.</p>
<p>
Have you thought of the Air Force Academy? </p>
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My S’s high school did, but he didn’t go - he had some grade issues earlier (with us) and he didn’t earn the privilege.</p>
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Yes, the boys are easier here…</p>
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Thank You - someone else who gets it! Yes, good kids can make a bad decision, especially at the time of night that prom is over - bravo to you for stepping up to the challenge. </p>
<p>I’ve worked with youth for over 20 years at church and things can happen. I was not a wild child, but my sister was and I know quite a few of the tricks - do I know everything my kids are doing? No, but I can hold them accountable and keep the dialogue open, and know who their friends are.</p>
<p>AtomicGirl - The Academies (or ROTC at any school) are not an option at this point due to a nice titanium bar in his chest courtesy of Johns Hopkins. It will be there for at least two more years. </p>
<p>A very long story, but he had played football since he was 7. At 14 he didn’t pass his physical due to a congenital defect that should have been caught much, much earlier. You take away all physical activity from a kid who has known nothing else and they are lost. With some prodding he agreed to check out the robotics team at our high school. He was hooked. Engineering became his ‘happy place’, his team his support system, his coach and adult mentors an inspiration. He is doing things he may have never done, or waited years to learn, if he was still on the football field. As cliche as it may seem, he truly found his path by a door slamming shut, and an entire universe opening up…</p>
<p>^^ That is a good story blueiguana
I have a friend who’s student was in dance…had a very serious accident that stopped the journey with dance cold…she ended up doing a great overseas program and is now at a very nice university back here in the states. New things opened up- which would have never been explored.</p>
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<p>Tis the season for girls not to make drill team and cheer. Some find a new open door and others spiral down into an unsavory group of friends.</p>
<p>^^
yes that can be true…
I know of a family- the parents have worked hard to see that the daughter has lots of friends and is popular–what I wonder is do they know she is … ummm…“fast” …and that those very sexy prom dresses over the lst few years have not helped…</p>
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<p>LOL, when my son was a freshman we asked about an adorable little girl he had been in pre-school with…I can still see her in her little dresses and giant white hairbow. Son said, “Well, I need to use a bad word here. It starts with an ‘s’.” It seems that cute little hairbow girl had become the freshman that the upperclass boys most wanted to date, if you know what I mean.</p>
<p>Any other parents wondering when April ACT scores will arrive? Last year, we got them on the first day possible. This year, one week has passed and no one in our town has them yet. We had three testing sites.</p>
<p>I’d love to be done with testing after getting those results soon and the Saturday SAT results from Saturday. Or at least done for now. He may need SAT II tests for a few schools.</p>
<p>Since we don’t have girls, it was very hard for me to get used to some of the things they wear. My niece is older than my boys and my husband used to get so disgusted with his sister and ask if she was shopping at Sl–s-R-Us? At 12 she was wearing a body hugging, lycra, tube dress, that barely covered her behind… at her gradfather’s 50th birthday. I tried to keep my mouth shut because I had never tried to shop for and dress a tween/teen girl.</p>
<p>At proms, etc. I am always amazed at the amount of skin that comes out. I am so glad when my son’s date shows up with fabric where his hands will be on her back… as well as other assets.</p>
<p>thank goodness I haven’t had to worry about these issues with my D. She doesn’t even like to wear shorts! (shows too much of her body!)</p>