Parents of the HS Class of 2012 - New beginnings

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
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<p>We are post-launch but still on the road; after we dropped S off we have been spending some time with D in the Boston area. We will start heading back home this afternoon, since H and I have to be at work on Monday and it’s a 24 hour drive!</p>

<p>Launching S was a bit rushed but went well. We didn’t roll into town until 11:30 pm the night before. </p>

<p>They had two sessions for parents. At the first they had a panel of various staff talking about the first year experience and giving general advice to the parents (let your kid learn to handle things; the school has a ton of resources and will be assisting them). The touchy-feeling guy in charge of counseling made us all cry by talking about all the common milestones in their lives and making us visualize the day they were born.</p>

<p>The first-year dean also made us cry – she told a story about jogging (don’t know if it’s true or made up) and a tree with a rope swing she passes by every day. Said how it’s a rite of passage for the kids to grow up and be brave enough to jump into the river from the rope swing. </p>

<p>I was expecting the story to be about her witnessing another kid jump into the river, and how our kids are making a leap of faith, but instead she said she rounded the corner and the tree had been cut down! She talked about how we as parents we will miss the tree we’ve grown accustomed to seeing and being around and celebrating milestones with, as it’s suddenly cut from our lives and gone.</p>

<p>All the stuff we mailed ahead of time arrived that afternoon, which was great for S since it was not mailed in as timely a manner as it should have been. So we were able to unpack it all and get everything put away. </p>

<p>We ate lunch in the school’s cafeteria. His school usually ranks 1st for best food and it did not disappoint! I noticed that they have chocolate milk, too!</p>

<p>The students all spend the first night in a giant sleep-over in the gym and then leave for 3.5 day orientation trips. I expect we will hear from him tomorrow, which will be when he returns from the trip. Even though he’s been there since Tuesday, Saturday night will be the first night he spends in his new room!</p>

<p>They were offering campus tours and there were two of us families with entering students on it, along with a bunch of prospective students. It was my first time on the campus, since S visited with H last August while I was working. I can see why S fell in love with it. Seems like a perfect fit for him. It will be an incredible opportunity. </p>

<p>It will be interesting to return to our home and adjust to just the two of us!</p>

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<p>Oh hawkeyes, I’m so sorry to hear about your S’s stupid roommate! I agree with what you and eyemamom said about your role to be supportive while he handles it, but I think I would err on the side of being VERY supportive! If he isn’t one to usually swim against the herd (OK, pretty sure I’m mixing some metaphors here!), then talk to him about that. This might be a difining moment of his college experience. He can take the path of lease resistance and follow the roommate and fill his relaxation times with things he doesn’t enjoy, or he can give himself some time to follow his real interests and find the friends he click with more. This isn’t all about whether or not he wants to party. It would make my head explode to spend my free time with people who make racist jokes and push me to do things I don’t want to do. Be honest with him that it may take a while to find his peeps, but it will happen faster if he goes out and does things he likes doing and doesn’t invest all of his social time in a group that he doesn’t click with. </p>

<p>eyemamom and I do seem to keep having our paths cross! We weren’t around to meet our S’s roommate and his parents, but it’s OK - eyemamom stopped by and checked them out for me! They got a thumbs up from her. We did stop by last night around 9:00 at S’s room and chatted with him and his roommate. He seems like a nice guy and even laughed at our weird sense of humor, so that’s good enough for me! And by the way, eyemamom, as we were leaving I looked down the hall to where your S’s room is. I don’t think he was in there, but that girl with the sparkly shirt was down there looking for him. I think he’s making friends already, so you can check that off your worry list! :wink: </p>

<p>They had a big candlelight ceremony on the quad last night - I bet that looked cool! And finally I woke up after a whole 8 hours of sleep and feel quite rested this morning - yay! I have been battling insomnia for weeks, and then pulled the all nighter with sick S a couple nights ago. I felt like a zombie all day yesterday.</p>

<p>gaelicbred - since you’re in the UR area, I’ll ask you. You don’t have an easy chair you want to get rid of do you? My older son wants one for his room and we went everywhere yesterday looking for something inexpensive but couldn’t find anything. We went to Goodwill (nothing) and Salvation Army (looked dirty enough we didn’t even want to sit in it to try it.) Also tried new but nothing less than $300. Anyway - if you have any friends who want to sell the kind of chair you’d sit in to read your book, let me know! We’ll be here until Satuday…</p>

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<p>Creekland - I’ll look for you! We’re skipping blocks 1 and 2 also. The two sessinos I want to go to are the ones about undergraduate research and the classroom experience, but I’m not sure which sessions we’ll attend. I wanted to go to the one about residential life just to ask about chocolate milk but don’t think we will. I think I’ll have a black skirt and marroon T-shirt on today. :)</p>

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<p>Getting ready to leave for school this morning. I guarantee we forgot something important!</p>

<p>Bhmamacita - forget the bedbug cover. The bugs are rare, the covers are expensive, and you can put a cover on after the fact if you find out you have bedbugs–which you won’t : )</p>

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<p>So here is my wackaloon move-in story.</p>

<p>Dropped off DD for her pre-orientation program yesterday. We got access to her room, but just to drop stuff off. We will go back next week to move her in for the real start.</p>

<p>They were working on the sidewalks around her dorm and when I pulled in I ended up on a construction path that went onto the grass behind the building. I was just turning around to head back to the road when I noticed the back door to DD’s dorm was ten feet away. So, I embarrassed DD by just stopping the car on the grass and unloading the car next to the back door of the dorm. We were in a hurry trying to just get everything out of the car when I picked up her packed plastic drawer set. The lid popped off and all of her bras and panties erupted onto the lawn. I was laughing, but DD was of course mortified. I think we managed to scoop everything up before anyone really saw what happened – but she might be picking blades of grass out of her skivvies for the first few weeks.</p>

<p>Other than that, move-in part one went well and she is off in the wilderness for the week. </p>

<p>Good luck to today’s launchers and the Isaac watchers. It always seems to be the I storms that hit at move-in dat. Last year’s was Irene in NE.</p>

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<p>Our kid’s school had bedbug cover on all beds.</p>

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<p>On the way to airport now with DH and DS. Reading all your stories is really helping soothe my nerves. I have that feeling we forgot something important but we have us, our wallets, and DS has his laptop so hopefully we are good to go. Since DH and I are heading back to the summer house after launch for a month of needed alone time, it would not be an easy thing to ship him any forgetten item. Much easier to transfer cash to his account and have him purchase it new. Amazon may be our new best friend too. Cosmos is my old best friend and I am going to make a point to find her in Atlanta!</p>

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<p>Hawkeyes55 - First, put everything into perspective - these kids are as nervous as your son, they just deal with it differently. They sound like they are full of vibrato, there is no way to know how true any of their comments are. Let your son know to just take it all in stride if he’s not strong enough to bow out. There is probably at least one other kid in this “group” that is feeling as he does but is not comfortable enough yet to say anything.</p>

<p>Clearly his roommate is a nervous wreck because he wants your son to do everything with him. He decided long ago that his roommate needs to be his support and therefore his best friend and join him in everything. This will pass as soon as they all establish some other friends.</p>

<p>Support him but do not intervene. This is his first and possibly most important challenge at school and is what makes college so different from everything else in life. If he doesn’t have the ability to remove himself from the situation (which he did once that drunk girl came by, right?) then he will muddle through until he finds kids with more of his interests. The first week is the hardest, everyone is searching for “life long” friends in the first day of meeting. The whole juggling thing is very hard for everyone, even those who don’t appear to be stressed by it.</p>

<p>Not sure what you mean by “important meetings” but again, if it has anything to do with Freshman then whomever is running these meetings has seen it all before and those meetings will allow your son to find more relaxed and similar kids. </p>

<p>It’s tough but breath and remember, as hard as it is, do NOT intervene. Your son will be stronger and more confident once he solves this social issue. Oh and remember, it’s not as bad as he’s presenting to you, it just makes him feel better to vent to you. You’ll probably never hear the good stuff.</p>

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<p>yu are getting some great advice, Hawkeye! Stay strong. </p>

<p>1012mom, you have made my morning!</p>

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<p>Hi all - just wanted to thank you for the smiles this morning. These stories are great!</p>

<p>hawkeyes, you’ve been given some great advice here. One thought I had when reading your story was maybe the roomie thinks that he is doing your S a favor, thinking your S might be shy and just needs a little “push”, as maddening as that might be for your S. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be perturbed - I would be - but hopefully with just a little time your S and his roomie can figure each other out a bit and boundaries will start to fall into place.</p>

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<p>MommyMommy, I’m at work right now but if you’re at UVM for more then a day and you need someone to have coffee with, I can swing by Burlington tomorrow. I dropped off my S at his college in NY on Wednesday so I am an empty nester … and it still hasn’t sunk in yet.</p>

<p>I have no interesting stories about drop off yet, but I did stalk my S on twitter as his college tweeted a photo of a pre-orientation canoe trip and I think I saw my S in the photo. Even if it wasn’t him, I’m claiming that kid as mine as he looked safe and happy.</p>

<p>Good luck launchers!</p>

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<p>hawkeye55 – Your S might try using humor as a tool for dealing with the roomie, for example, “If I go with you, who’s going to bail your ignorant a$$ out of jail?” Of course, I don’t recommend he actually do that, unless of course, there’s an independent source of funds. :)</p>

<p>Seriously, though, learning to “swim against the herd” (I like that one) is an important step down the road to maturity. I feel for him, but it’s something everyone has to face eventually.</p>

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<p>Thanks for sharing the stories. I had a few laughs that helped clear away the tears I shed after hearing a song on the radio which I should have turned off, but didn’t!!</p>

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<p>Thanks for the advice- glad to save the money. This is my third going off to college but the only girl. She is much more concerned with having everything on the list than the boys were. Plus she’s a bit of a germophobe so the thought of bedbugs was freaking her out .</p>

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<p>Just a quick update from the road. DS is much better this morning! He ate breakfast this morning and is back to his chipper self. 600 more miles to drive through Utah, Wyoming and Colorado and we’ll be ready to launch tomorrow morning! </p>

<p>Love reading all the launch stories. 1012mom’s story was certainly good for a giggle! Here’s to hoping that everyone else’s skivvies make it into dorm rooms without ending up dumped in he grass!</p>

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<p>Glad to hear he’s feeling better! Safe travels!</p>

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<p>Hawkeyes55 - don’t worry, your sons “people” will be discovered soon! </p>

<p>It’s hard to be in a new place when you’re shy but it’s time for him to make some attempts to connect with all these new interesting people around him! He can try walking around campus with his head and eyes up, not looking at the ground. In retail, there’s the “10 foot rule” where employees smile, make eye contact, & greet every customer who comes within 10 feet of them. When you’re doing that, you make yourself appear friendly and approachable and all you had to do was smile and say hello! When do classes and campus clubs start?</p>

<p>For the wanna-party roomie, your son could develop a set of several stock answers to have ready when he needs 'em. It’ll be easier when classes start and he can bow out of things by claiming he needs to study. In the meantime, he could decline to socialize with that first bunch of guys by saying stuff like:</p>

<p>I couldn’t sleep very well last night, I’m gonna catch a little nap.</p>

<p>Smoke always triggers my allergies. (Bye-bye, hookah bar!) </p>

<p>I’m going for a run — or the equivalent-- I’m going to work out at the health center. Then pick up a towel or gym bag and GO! Even if its not part of his previous HS routine, at least he’ll be away from those people he doesn’t want to hang out with!</p>

<p>I need to go the bookstore & price my textbooks. I promised my folks I’d get that info for them today. (Blaming absent parents can be kind of lame, unless you make it known the parents are hovering around waiting on some answers & you need to get 'em off your back)</p>

<p>Wackaloons can think up a whole by bunch of better replies, I’m sure. :)</p>

<p>Disclaimer: My co-worker owns a hookah bar near UTD but I never go there. Haha</p>

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<p>I’m out of town and can only read CC and post on my Kindle Fire, which is slower going. Have been enjoying the launch stories. Can someone help a mama out and direct me to the Winnie the Pooh quote?</p>

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<p>jaylynn This site has many Pooh quotes:</p>

<p>[A.A</a>. Milne Quotes (Author of Winnie-the-Pooh)](<a href=“http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/81466.A_A_Milne]A.A”>A.A. Milne Quotes (Author of Winnie-the-Pooh))</p>

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<p>Thank you!</p>