<p>My oldest S doesn’t drink. I told freshman S that he had four years to get an education, and that it was important to keep that his focus because he could choose to make that four years as concentrated as he wants when it comes to learning. He can skate through with a light load or work hard and really build some great opportunities for the next phase of life. I told him I hoped he’d stay legal, and that includes waiting until he’s 21. Then I told him practical stuff - if you’re going to drink, keep it to just a couple drinks, always have a glass of water in between each drink or at least wait 15 minutes in between drinks, eat first, don’t drive, don’t ride with other people driving, stay on campus, don’t stay once everyone is getting really drunk because it’s better not be around for the stupid stage of the evening. I also told his girlfriend, who goes to a different school, to get her own drinks and keep it in her possession at all times. To which S rolled his eyes and said, “Mom, that’s like the most cliched advice you could give - everyone knows about the date rape drug.” To which I said, “Yup, and everyone thinks it would never happen to them.”</p>
<p>You all shouldn’t be surprised by my advice to D2 - “Don’t share drinks and food with other people.” College students like to offer their food and drinks to friends. With various virus/bacteria going around in college, I figure it is better to be safe than sorry.</p>
<p>eyemamom - how’s your guy doing now? Are his hallmates including him in things? My guy absolutely loves it, but his roomie seemed a little more unsure so my guy’s been making sure to include him (and everyone on his hall) with both big and little things. In the last pics, all seemed to be having fun. I hope it’s similar on your end.</p>
<p>With regards to parties and more, we’re pretty conservative in that aspect, but we’ve always been open with raising our boys - no sheltering once they were past young childhood. They know what’s out there and that they’ll get to make their own choices. They’ve seen outcomes from real people making real choices. The rest is up to them. I wouldn’t want my folks making my choices for me. ;)</p>
<p>eyemamom - hope you hear some reassuring news soon. We are going to skype with D2 today. She is not hanging out with hallmates that much. She has her a single, so we have skipped over roommate issues. She said her hall is very quiet, not a partying place. She likes it because she could have fun outside and come back to a quiet room to sleep. </p>
<p>D2 is going to parties hosted by Greek, but when asked which house, she would say, “I don’t know.” Whereas D1 would have known everything about that house by the time she left and given me the full scoop. D2 is accustom in going to drinking parties because drinking age was 18 where she went to high school, and she is not too impressed by it (or against it), so I am not too worried. She did say some freshmen are over doing it a bit. She has been fore warned by her sister not to behave badly if she wants to rush.</p>
<p>Our launch went very well I was nervous about the room location and whether my son and his room mate would click (room mate is an international student from China). The room turned out fine and the room mate is a very nice young man. We asked him various questions and you could see his brain translating. Must really a be a challenge for him to come from a different culture. It is a 15 hr flight from China. He told my husband that Americans look so big. </p>
<p>Son was very impressed with how clean the bathrooms are. So I asked, “How do they keep them clean,” and he said they are closed everyday from 10-11. Don’t know if they really are but glad they are at least clean for now. </p>
<p>eyemamom, I imagine things will smooth once classes start. I know my son (while not necessarily wanting them to begin) feels a bit disorganized as he can’t figure out his rhythm of what to do with his time until classes begins. </p>
<p>In terms of alcohol and drugs, we always give son the same message “Be Safe”. He is pretty conservative. I remember asking him once about whether kids at his school “huff” and did he every think of trying it. His response, “Are you crazy, I want my brain.”</p>
<p>Thank you for the responses to my question! I honestly don’t think my S ever drank in HS. That’s just not the kind of kids he hung out with. I know how I was in HS so I don’t feel I am in denial. :-)</p>
<p>I did tell him the following:
-you don’t know how you will react to things you haven’t done before.
-make sure you are always aware of your surroundings.
-you are considered “underage” which is illegal. Drugs are illegal as well.
-don’t put yourself in a situation where you will miss class. You are there to get an education.
-don’t do anything that will have further ramifications that not feeling well the next day. (i.e., jail, court, punishment from the university or dorm, etc…)
-"it’s easier to say “no” than to fight an addiciton. (I borrowed that from another CC post so thank you to whoever that was).</p>
<p>I am just hoping he uses his head, stays safe, and watches out for others. I have watched way too many Lifetime movies in the past. He doesn’t have much patience for people acting foolish so hopefully that scene won’t appeal to him. I know he is curious, which is normal, but hopefully it passes quickly.</p>
<p>creek - glad your son is doing okay after the awful roomie tragedy. I don’t know how my son is doing - it was rough leaving Friday night, he was kind of out of sorts, but he also expected to feel out of sorts. He is not a drinker and said it seemed there was one party girl on the floor. I could tell he was overwhelmed and perhaps ignoring everything I said this summer and not researching a single thing came back to bite him at first. He’s not always great at figuring out how to join in and have people to eat with, so hopefully the ra is doing a good job getting them all together. His room is on the end and he mentioned a little bit about feeling isolated as his roomie is out and making new friends and just from what I saw most kids were keeping their doors shut. I know this is just the beginning adjustment that he has to get through and once he’s settled he’ll be fine. Hubby said today - since we we’re worried we will call today. It’s ridiculous for us to feel miserable if a 5 minute conversation can either make us feel better or figure out how to support him.</p>
<p>eyemamom, My S said that in the few floor meetings they have had, that it was emphasized that each floor should watch out for each other. Perhaps encouraging your son to talk to his R.A. and tell him that he feels a bit disconnected would let the R.A. know to keep tabs on him.</p>
<p>Good approach! I know it took my older son a while to settle in. I think it gets a lot better once classes start. It could be that a whole week of freshman orientation is a bit much…</p>
<p>I don’t know that he does feel disconnected, I just haven’t heard yet. I know he’s a little slower to warm up. If we can reach him today we’ll see how it’s going. I know once he gets his schedule and gets going he will be fine. I’m a little worried about him knowing how to register, in my day we didn’t do it alone on the computer, we went to a big room and someone did it for us. This school website and blackboard is a little confusing and not super user friendly.</p>
<p>This week long orientation is about 3 or 4 days too long in my opinion.</p>
<p>I agree the orientation is too long. I looked at their schedule and they don’t even have the clubs to meet and learn about which seems strange.</p>
<p>My son and I did the preregistration together and it is a bit stiff to step through. Does he have that app you probably saw on the FB group that lets you see your schedule laid out in color? I can PM the link to you to give him if you want.</p>
<p>I have not heard from my launchee since she is out in the wilderness with no communication for the week. My guess is that her stress will come with the start of classes and a cappella auditions.</p>
<p>One thought for the worried…one of my favorite CC bits of wisdom is that DCs always “pass the drama to the mama”. In other words kids tend to vent their stress to parents in ways that may make things seem worse than they actually are. I remember driving DD to HS early in her time there totally in tears because she had no friends. As she got out of the car three kids yelled hello and another joined her for the walk to class. </p>
<p>I think sometimes it helps them to vent to the safe place of their parents. Eventually they develop friends they can safely vent their fears and frustrations to, but not so much in the early days. That said it does not make hearing their distress any easier, just maybe helps to be patient and let things develop.</p>
<p>I have finally caught up on this thread! Our launch process was a week long, I did read some while we were on the trip, but was hopelessly behind. I am now caught up with other people’s launch stories.</p>
<p>We extended our trip to hit some local sites, Red Sox/Indians game and three days at Cedar Point. Great time was had by all! D1 came from Chicago also so it was a good time to see her and for her to spend time with D2. Some tension at move-in/drop off, didn’t get all jobs completed. D’s ipod fell out of her pocket as she was riding her bike to the building to register it, so we will have a report on our claim experience with CSI! </p>
<p>She had a very packed orientation week, a long with the pre-orientation trip, tried some new things which weren’t for her, but that is good. Classes start tomorrow. Advisor was trying to convince her to take Calc 3 instead of Calc 2, but when she had looked at the syllibi and considering the rest of her 19 credit load I think she will be fine. Of course her memory is that she wanted to take 3 and I told her to take 2, which is not accurate.</p>
<p>Her freshman writing seminar teacher is also her advisor and she is reportedly very funny.</p>
<p>That’s it for me. Good to hear all the launch stories and impormptu meet ups! Esp glad that silverseas’ S is off to RIT!</p>
<p>Launched our daughter yesterday at Towson Univ. We left here at 6 a.m. for the 2 1/2 hour drive. We got there and the place was a zoo! The dorm she is living in has over 400 people living in it. There are 12 floors and she is on the 9th floor. The line for the elevators was LONG - I think we were in line for over an hour and half. Her roomie was already in the room and in the midst of unpacking with her parents. The girls had worked out ahead of time who was going to get which bed. We waited for them to get done before we did the major unpacking. While we waited we went and had lunch with her boyfriend and his parents and walked around campus and did a store run for fruit and stuff for the refrigerator. By the time we got back the roomie’s parents were gone and we could finish. My dd and I were happily surprised that all of her stuff (and she brought alof of stuff - clothes, shoes. Cheer clothes and accessories, pictures, etc.) fit and she has room to spare. She and her roommate were very happy with their room - they had gone together to pick out their bedding and kept in touch all summer about what they were bringing to the room. My daughter had printed four photo collages and hung them over her bed. She made her space very homey. During the afternoon she was making plans to get together with some people that she knows there - she has four girls there from high shool plus the girls on the cheer team. She was so happy yesterday as opposed to Friday when she was nervous and on edge most of the day. I cried when we left but it wasn’t as horrible as I expected. It was a lot easier to say good bye with her being so happy and excited about the whole thing. I am missing her a lot today though. </p>
<p>Our launchee has been communicating daily by Skype or phone which surprises me because she wasn’t as communicative at home. Her classes are keeping her busy but she says the workload isn’t too bad (yet). The afternoons are filled with team practices and this weekend is her first qualifier. As of yesterday, she is in first. Yay!</p>
<p>At home, my reaction to her launch has been so different from when my S launched in '10. Then, I cried a lot. This time, I have found myself diving into housekeeping and projects, even getting grumpy at DH! Perhaps, I’m saving it up for our annual Moms Back to School brunch which I am hosting this year. We’ve been meeting since D was in 3rd grade and many of us have just launched our kids.</p>
<p>Karen, happy to hear your launch went well despite the crowded elevators.</p>
<p>Woody, Thanks for the move in story! It was hilarious! </p>
<p>1012, love that quote " pass the drama to the mama". I won’t miss that because I sometimes felt I over dramatized D’s drama at times!</p>
<p>Now, off to catch up with this thread. I can’t even sleep without 2-3 pages of post popping up ! ;)</p>
<p>And we have lift off! We are home now after cutting short our parent orientation to get home to south Florida before TS Isaac. We arrived at ATL airport on Friday and were greeted by 10 high energy Emory welcome committee members in yellow shirts holding up welcome signs…so nice and unexpected in this huge airport!
We spent Friday shopping for his printer, dorm stuff etc at local stores.
On saturday, at 8ish AM, we drove up to his dorm and I was floored to be greeted by 8 Emory student move in helpers who not only unloaded our car in 2 minutes but carried EVERYTHING up to his room while DS picked up his keys and ID card at the desk in the lobby. His roommate and family were in the car right in front of ours. DH was then sent to park the car in a distant lot while we started unpacking and setting things up.
DS really lucked out. His room and roommate are wonderful. Both boys were dressed alike (in khaki cargo shorts and navy t shirts) and we joked that it was planned. The beds were already lofted with the dressers underneath. DH and DS went to pick up our preshipped boxes and were back in the room within 15 minutes…they were loaned huge orange bins on wheels to tote them in! This is my third college move in but our first private university move in. What a difference (and it only cost us 54k a year, lol)!<br>
Everyone at the college, from the dorm staff to the orientation fair in the gym, to the students walking around campus, made us feel welcome, wanted and comfortable. We left DS feeling that he was in a good place.</p>
<p>Now we are back home watching the storm arrive. We aren’t going to shutter up since our area is only getting a very wet tropical storm but I am glad to be back so I can monitor the house for potential leaks or flooding and pull the patio furniture in.
I am officially an empty nester!</p>
<p>Seiclan, so glad to hear it went well and you are home and dry!! </p>
<p>I too think orientation is too long-- I know D will feel MUCH better once classes start. (Ok, she doesn’t leave until Friday, but…)</p>
<p>re drinking-- I tried to be sure D had tried alcohol before she left. She is very cautious, and I wanted her to at least have a little sense of what it feels like to have a glass of wine. I know she’s at one end of the spectrum and a lot of kids are at the other…and I want her to feel comfortable. </p>
<p>I wish we could go right now-- so many goodbyes, so much anxiety. But no, 5 more days.</p>
I was nervous about the room location and whether my son and his room mate would click (room mate is an international student from China). The room turned out fine and the room mate is a very nice young man. We asked him various questions and you could see his brain translating. Must really a be a challenge for him to come from a different culture. It is a 15 hr flight from China. He told my husband that Americans look so big. </p>