<p>Ok…after 3 days of ranting about missed/late assignments and crappy grades because he does the assignment DURING class to turn in at the end of the class, I found a bright side. He was never in danger of failing anything this past quarter 
And since this quarter is really short (5 weeks) I got him to agree to do things my way and convinced him that he’d probably get straight As or close to it.</p>
<p>The thing I started thinking is that if he’s going to really screw up, maybe he should do it now while school is free. Because if the only thing that gets him to high school graduation is my management, then what happens next year when there’s no management and we’re paying many thousands of dollars for college? If he can’t even get himself to graduation on his own, then he’s really, really not ready for college and that would be a good thing to know before I write a big check.</p>
<p>Simpkin, sometimes…oftentimes, I feel that way too. But then I can’t not do everything in my power to set him up for success. What he does after that is on him. He either gets the grades to get into schools with decent need based aid or he goes to one of the state schools or community college.</p>
<p>It’s interesting reading about your sons. My DS in just in eighth grade, and I’m curious how he’s going to turn out. I recently read an outstanding book that y’all might want to take a look at: Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Leonard Sax.</p>
<p>On a positive note, my DD has shown remarkable progress in the last two months regarding her schoolwork. I think it was the motivation of finding her “perfect” college.</p>
<p>Thanks mamaduck; I just one-clicked it on Amazon!</p>
<p>I logically agree the my son’s grades (or lack of) is his responsibility, but then I think of my finances. He could stretch and get into a good college, but he won’t get the merit. So how far am I willing to stretch to pay? I know there are some schools which will cost me more, but may help him find a job. While, no one, and I mean no one, who I know who has graduated from our state directional schools in the last 3 years has a job in their field. I also think as a parent it is my job to raise, make him responsibility. My failure as a parent is the fact I can’t get him to see the light.</p>
<p>But, then I step back. All of us here sound like we have good kids. These kids are not turning in homework, but they also aren’t out partying 24/7. I don’t worry about drugs or alcohol. All his friends are stable, nice kids. Much different then the kids I grew up with. And none of his friends are parents. I had a few friends who had babies while in school. </p>
<p>Deep breathes to keep my sanity until he matures.</p>
<p>Greetings from Texas, where I am beginning the college search for my junior son, having watched his grades fall steadily from 3.8 in middle school to his current 3.2. He’s an interesting package: very bright with mild inattentive-type ADD and dysgraphia (born with dislocated hips, and the immobilizing brace fixed that problem but contributed to other, including balance and coordination etc.) but an incredibly hard worker with solid study skills - if given the reminder of when it’s due, etc. He’s an A/B student who frequently bombs the semester tests which count for 20% of the grade, which some teachers also count twice as major grades. Projects, homework, writing - all good. Unfortunately, the medical issues prevented ECs after middle school cross country hip injuries, and by choosing pre-Ap and AP courses it was all he could manage time-wise to do the work. (And, yes, I do wonder now if this was the best plan, vs all regular classes with more time for something, anything… but his is a very large and competitive 5A school, and all his friends jumped in to the AP track so he did too.) He’s top 25%, but after an impressive sophomore practice SAT he did worse on his PSAT, so we’re re-grouping for the ACT.</p>
<p>He wants to study chemistry, geoscience, environmental science at a smaller school. He’s just given up his original dream of environmental engineer… discouraged by some of what he’s heard from teachers about engineering’s math demands. </p>
<p>One challenge I see for his preference is a small enough school for a good fit, but large enough for alternatives should he change his major, as well as what he perceives to be a more positive social experience.</p>
<p>Complicating things are severe allergies (mountain cedar / juniper) and an aversion to really extreme cold / snowy weather.</p>
<p>I know - just how much fun can one mom stand?</p>
<p>Anyway, we’re looking at the CTCL schools, hoping for a BS track to prepare him for a masters TBD. </p>
<p>I’m a single parent but managed to pre-pay four years of public university tuition and fees under the original Texas Tomorrow Plan, which allows payment to out-of-state colleges at the rate of the average in-state Texas tuition. We’ll need financial aid for these pricey private colleges, so that’s a factor as well.</p>
<p>Looking at Millsaps in Jackson, MS; Guilford, NC; Centre, KY; and Rhodes in Memphis.</p>
<p>Any suggestions or feedback about these colleges would be greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>Hi '13 parents! I just posted this on the '12 thread and thought I should put it here, too:</p>
<p>I’m dropping in from HS class of '11, to let you know some of the things I remember from last year, and some of the things I’ve come to understand this year.</p>
<p>1) Things will work out. It is true that a transcript with Bs is absolutely a successful HS record, and colleges are plenty happy with it. You child has done very well.
2) It’s hard to remember this when you are faced with all of the mistakes s/he makes that you know could be avoided. Try to step back and focus on what a great kid s/he is. That is “loving the kid on the couch.”
3) Your kid is way harder on her/himself than you think s/he is. There is a lot of bravado in a kid who knows s/he has done some dumb stuff or who feels s/he can never live up to standards (even if you’ve never expressed them).
4) Your kid will surprise you in how much s/he will mature this year, and next. But s/he also will take a lot of the immaturity and flaws with her/him to college. S/he just needs to keep plugging, learning and growing. A good fit college - or other plan - will provide lots of opportunities to grow up, but it won’t happen overnight.
5) Most important: Don’t let this process undermine the loving relationship you have with your kid. You have a long life together to be close, show caring and respect, and share good and bad experiences. Don’t let the college admissions process drive an unnecessary wedge in your faith and trust in each other. Whatever happens, your kid will have a future, and will make her/his path in the world. Stick with her/him - this is not the defining moment we often are tempted to think it is. It’s just a step along the way.</p>
<p>Good luck - I am right there with you!</p>
<p>^^ Thank you for dropping in here and letting us know that things worked out well for your child. Your perspective, as someone who has gone through this process recently, is very helpful and uplifting.</p>
<p>My pleasure, fo3b. It sounds like you have things well in hand, so please don’t think I was targeting you at all! </p>
<p>We also started with CTCL, and my D applied to several (and got in!). She ended up focused on a specific performing arts track, and she’s at a school that fits her needs quite well, plus she got a terrific scholarship. I will add (and anyone who is looking back at my posting history will see) that my D had an upward trend in her junior year, also nailed an excellent ACT score fall of her senior year - but her academic subjects still came in at an UW GPA of about 3.3, and her transcript was all over the place. She wasn’t particularly successful with APs, either.</p>
<p>My older D graduated college in '11 and has a degree in Biology and Environmental Studies. She is having some wonderful experiences in the field, with post-graduate internships which are leading her in all kinds of interesting directions. Grad school is on her radar, too, but she’s finding there are so many ways she could expand her involvement in conservation and ecology. Her program included some environmental engineering classes, which she found valuable. Your son might be able to pick up some experience and training in that along the way - really education is much more fluid than most of us assume.</p>
<p>Best wishes to you all!</p>
<p>Thanks so much for the reassuring message. Good to keep in mind as the scramble and worry intensify in the coming months!</p>
<p>I’m getting ready to brace myself for 2nd quarter grades which come out later this week. I’m afraid kiddo might have slipped below a 3.0 as I think he will be heavy on the Cs with a D or 2 this report card. But, he’s really enjoying track which is awesome!</p>
<p>New in this thread; DS2013 has LD concerns but attends a private college prep w/only two accommodations (preferred seating near teacher - hearing issue; and extended time for tests/exams - significant processing differential to IQ). Generally, we’re all very happy w/school situation. He fits the GPA profile of this thread.</p>
<p>I’d like some advice regarding his english teacher. She’s new to school this academic year, and a “size 00” anorexic, w/high-strung demeanor, self-described over-achiever, etc. She maintains “high standards”. (Yet she’s also pregnant, scheduled to leave school five weeks before school ends for maternity leave - do the math.) Anyways, she and DS have “communication problems” regarding niggling issues which result in him losing significant points on several assignments. He’s ordinarily a very very diligent student, and very polite. I’m thinking some “you don’t belong” impatience is occurring here.</p>
<p>I’ve received immediate pushback and deflection on my polite inquiries. I’ve spoken to DS’ advisor, who noted other parents’ complaints and suggested I speak to department chair (who’s been copied on my recent e-mail, but didn’t respond back to me.) Advisor thinks she’s over-reacting. We tend to not meddle, telling DS “life’s not fair” etc. But it’s gnawing on me. He’s a C so far this quarter in this class, despite his diligent hardwork, w/o consideration of his actual writing product because points have been removed for only delivery/direction confusion. (No assignments have been handed in late; all work is complete.)</p>
<p>I’m wondering what her weight and pregnancy status have to do with the issue but whatevs.</p>
<p>Is it possible to have a meeting with the teacher and go over what it is she’s looking for in your son’s assignments? Has she given any feedback on previous assignments and was that taken into consideration with subsequent ones? My son is fortunate in that all his classes use rubrics to determine grading on assignments. It’s pretty evident what kind of work will get what grade.</p>
<p>But you might try posting the question as it’s own topic in the parent forum to get more responses possibly.</p>
<p>Happy news: My son was admitted to Hofstra! He is very pleased. This is the happiest I’ve seen him about an acceptance. It was a surprise, since they were waiting on his midyear grades, and they were not so good. S said, “I told you I knew what I was doing.” LOL.</p>
<p>That is fantastic news simpkin!</p>
<p>Yay for Simpkins S!!</p>
<p>YAY simpkin!</p>
<p>Thanks so much! It will be interesting to see if he gets into Ithaca too. Hofstra was his favorite but nothing is settled. We are definitely still visiting Roger Williams and McDaniel, and I hope I can get him to take another look at Lycoming. If he gets into Ithaca, that’s another visit.</p>
<p>My S has told me that we will not do any more visits until accepts and FA are in. He will only visit places he actually gets into and we can afford. I really can’t argue with him, especially after 4 music auditions in the past 6 weeks. He’s D.O.N.E. :)</p>