Parents of the HS Class of 2013

<p>I find it interesting how different schools do this stuff. Seems like almost everyone on here had AP summer homework, while ds had none.</p>

<p>Two weeks left of summer here. My children do not get “AP” homework, but there are three/four required books and 2 writing assignments. My D13 asked me not to nag about summer reading, so I didn’t. And now it is not done. As I told here this morning
“I’m baaaaack! Nagging will commence.” :)</p>

<p>D13 took two APs last year. AP world had daily/weekly HW, and AP Lit was a bit lax on the work (IMO). </p>

<p>I had a different take on the HW. I liked the frequency of HW that D received in Global, and would have like to have seen more at times. At 14/15 most of these kids are not mature enough to just know how to approach learning this type of material. The reading/outlines/weekly AP essays/tests and quizzes were a great way to learn how to learn. Just my opinion. At some point the volume of work becomes manageable and they get faster at getting it done. </p>

<p>This year she is taking primarily IB courses and APUSH. It will be interesting to see what the workload is this year. D13 believes it will be less and more project/paper/essay based. That will definitely suit her learning style.</p>

<p>S2 is only taking one AP - US History. I haven’t seen how much homework there is going to be. He started Monday, but I’ve been out of town. He had to read one book over the summer and write an essay which is due Friday (the first week of class). So, of course he didn’t start it until Sunday night. He was “outraged” because it was supposed to be a 7 paragraph essay and last year they only had to write 5 paragraph essays!! O the horror! Just wait until college when he gets a 40 page research paper! (Needless to say, our HS does not prepare the kids adequately for college.)</p>

<p>Hi All! Almost 2 solid weeks of school done & so far so good!</p>

<p>I thought of something today that I thought I’d share. I was looking at D’s college list and started looking at some admissions pages. I remembered then that a lot of schools have “road shows” or “counselors on the road.” Turns out that 8 of her schools will be in our area within the next 2 months at 3 different road presentations. It’s a good way to “demonstrate interest,” meet the local area admissions rep, and get some info about the school, especially for those that are out of your geographic area.</p>

<p>Back from Europe, back to trouble.
Our HS’s favorite physics teacher is being invlountarily transferred.
I have no energy to write about this.
Son wants to study physics at MIT.</p>

<p>:-(</p>

<p>Welll, we are about to start jr year and STILL don’t know where my d will be going to school. It is so unsettling for both of us, as we can register at the local public school, but we don’t know whether we are foreclosing or not with the divorce just initiated in july. We can’t afford 2 residences but that is how it must be. However, I am going to register at the local public. The issue we have right now is the local public doesn’t understand the issues of the private school she was in which was a college prep. The classes were so rigorous and the teacher my d had last year that taught Euro was also the AP euro teacher. She killed them with homework and assignments and kept it as the same pace as the AP class which was so unfair. The girls wanted to take the AP test but the school wouldn’t allow them (and I think they would have all done well). It was until afterwards that we found out that anyone can take an AP class. Our school kept saying no, but college board said yes because they have home schoolers do it all the time. We just needed a school to let her in to take it. The teacher was so mean, because at the end of the year, she went around and said to all the girls if I had to guess, I would say you did hw x amount of times, you this amount, and when she got to my d she said you probably did it 65% of the time. My d was so upset. She didn’t tell me till August! She traveled 50miles r/t to school, and she did her hw every single night! The teacher never checked, and she based her guess on the “quizzes” she gave (which my d did not do well in per the teacher - low 80’s)! If you get a B in this school, it’s a terrible thing. They expect A’s in everything. You can’t move into AP until you get an A and that is frustrating. However, if you are IN AP you never have to leave (unless you choose not to renew) so even if you get C’s you still move up. The caste system.</p>

<p>So now I have to bring the public school a profile of the school, etc. Everyone knows the school and its reputation, and it’s frustrating to think my d may not get into the 2 APs she wanted. The head of the school did say he would speak to the head of the public if there were issues, but at this late date, I don’t know if she could catch up with all the summer reading and assignments. They can’t assign her classes until the guidance counselors come back on Aug 30th so that’s even worse. </p>

<p>We need a miracle for sure with all she’s been through all year with her illnesses. Funny, yesterday I was in store and a 16 yr old boy waited on me. I asked him where he went to school, and he told me. And then he vented how his mom was pressuring him to visit schools all summer and she wouldn’t let him take more than 2 AP classes this year, but his friend’s mom has had him “going” since end of 8th grade visiting schools, taking hard courses, doing comm service and having his own tutor (a lot like the kids in my d’s old school - they had on call and live-in tutors who did a lot of the hw sadly). But he said he and his friends were beside themselves because of all the nagging and pressure. I said, I totally understand, but we moms want what’s best for you kids but we also don’t want you stressed out. Forgive your mom now, and you’ll thank her later.</p>

<p>He went to visit Brandeis, Tufts, Boston U and Wesleyan and he liked Tufts best and then Wesleyan. He thought BU was too big. On the other hand, my d’s best friend loved BU because she and my d were in small schools. That is why these college visits are so important.</p>

<p>Rob D, we’ve taken advantage of the college road tours too. In the spring, Georgetown, harvard, u of p, stanford and duke visited our area (but they also come to the schools around here) and they gave their spiel for 1.5 hrs. The other night we went to a Univ of Chicago talk that was 2 hours alone. I did learn a lot from them. The room was packed and standing room only - unreal. The rep told us that the writing supplement on the SAT or ACT does NOT count. They still only use the 1600 score for those of you out there that might be interested in that school. He also told us that they ask bizarre questions, made by upper classmen or grad students, on their essay section - there are 5 questions and then a 6th and some of the questions asked were (they were more statements than questions). I’m paraphrasing here: “There are huge jars of mustard in Costco (that’s it),” “What is X,” “Don’t use reverse psychology” - i can’t remember the rest but they were off the wall; however, they weren’t looking for “off the wall” answers which people mistook. To them the GPA was more important than the SATs and they did NOT require SAT II’s. The only complaint some of the kids and parents had were that the 2 alumni were “old” and they should have had younger ones there (I said hey, watch it, I’m that age!), but they looked very “old-fashioned,” and so not many kids spoke with them. They were talking about things kids really couldn’t relate to. One girl in the audience asked “do the ambulances take volunteers in Chicago?” - NO COMMENT on that question! </p>

<p>The other talk we went to a few months ago had the big “8” - and that was Kenyon, Claremont-McKenna, MacAlester, Haverford, Grinnell, Sarah Lawrence, CT College and Colorado College. It was very good too. But when they group the meetings, it’s tougher because they only have a limited amount of time to cover things. Both this meeting and the Georgetown, etc. meeting had a lot of pix (which I like especially when you can’t visit the colleges across the country) whereas Univ of Chicago had 1 picture of the school! We were all disappointed (and yes, I know you can go online but it’s helpful while they are giving the talk).</p>

<p>Road shows are funny things. What seems weird and off putting to one family/student really hits a chord with another. The quirky approach by CMU (geeky reps and alumni, bagpipe major, the mascot is a piece of tartan cloth) and the emphasis on encouraging odd major/minor combinations really really struck home with my S. Nevertheless, when they put the big number up on the screen (tuition and fees) my husband said “son locos” (we are spanish speakers
obviously) but everyone understood and then he left the room. Who would have thougth our son would be there now? 
on the other hand, we went to Ohio State and S was so put off by the rah rah and red and white that he refused to visit the school. What I don’t like about the road shows for the very top schools is the way the kids and parents ooze tension and ask lots of questions about test scores and applications so you get less of a sense of what the school is like, what it’s culture is, why would it be/not be a good fit for a kid. I am wondering whether my D should go to any of them although I am thinking the “colleges that change lives” road show may be a good place to see a wide variety of lesser known but excellent schools. They are starting now and show up in almost all regions of hte country.</p>

<p>Meda
your private school sounds like a pretty rigid place
is it the school or the area? Hopefully it is the former and you will find that the public school will be much more accomodating and flexible. My advice, coming from only public school experience, is that counselors and staff will do their very best to help out a family and are used to kids coming in at the last minute (we have a lot of military and political families as well as lots of undocumented kids). Many of these kids don’t have their homework done, don’t have an easy cross over from their old schools etc. Teachers can be quite accomodating and understanding if approached with a positive and can do attitude (I am excited to be in your class but worried about starting from behind
what do you advise?). My son (junior year) dropped IB English and Social studies and went to AP classes the week classes started and had a lot of reading to catch up on. He had no excuse other than he decided he hated the IB English homework but, even so, the AP teachers gave him some extra time and he had to work very hard the first 3-4 weeks but then he was fine.</p>

<p>The secret is to be a parent/family that is viewed as 1) calm 2) positive and 3) willing to meet the school halfway. So
go into this year with a choice of classes that will meet your daughter’s needs and prioritize which ones are the most important to her
This really helps the guidance counselor if you come in saying
“look, getting her in the right math class is our top priority. Social studies is more flexible
she would be happy with psych, anthro or sociology (for example)”. Classes fill up, there are schedule conflicts, etc so smile and nod and be very appreciative. It is a good attitude for your daughter too
act like you are thrilled to go to the school and emphasize the positives. You want to be upfront, immediately, about your daughter’s health problems and, again, I find teachers will work really hard with a family if they feel that the family is doing their part to the extent they can help. You do not want to be seen as “high maintenance”
ask for lots of help but very inflexible and impatient (don’t expect to get reply emails within 24 hours) and complaining. Always, always start a conversation with a public school counselor with a positive comment (remember they have only heard complaints all day) before asking for something. Listen and consider what they are saying before uttering “but
”. It is a very different world than private school but I, personally, have found that it teaches our kids a lot about how to use interpersonal skills/compromise/teamwork in an environment of limited resources to help people with diverse needs (also known as the real world).</p>

<p>PS
just a really tragic story here that made me think about what would happen to our family if I/we were killed or badly hurt. The parents of a student at school were both struck by lightning last week. D is currently helping cook casseroles, etc. for the family. The dad will be ok but Mom in bad shape. </p>

<p>When my kids were small, we had good backup from friends and family and my mother was a frequent enough visitor that she could step in or take the kids back with her
but now my kids are almost grown, it actually could be more difficult for them because they wouold be expected to take over a lot of responsibilities with zero preparation. How on earth would our kids manage if we were out of commission medium or long term? My kids are totally ignorant of so many basic things that they couldn’t help friends or relatives who would need to know where our documents are, account information
etc. </p>

<p>I have resolved to create a binder with essential info that they can pull out should something awful like t his occurs. Has anyone done something like this? Advice?</p>

<p>Medavinci: Gosh, I hope you can decide where your D will be attending school soon. It will really help her to feel “settled.” And I agree with fineartsmajormom, go into the new school with a very positive attitude (“We’re so thrilled to be enrolling!”) and you may find the counselors and teachers more than willing to work with you and your D to make her feel comfortable. </p>

<p>finartsmajormom: What a terrible tragedy for that family! Kind of helps us put everything in perspective doesn’t it? I would hate to think what would happen if my D was suddenly put “in charge” - luckily, we’ve got active, involved grandparents near by. But we really have to readress our life insurance!</p>

<p>On our front: S2 is headed to Washington this evening with his dad for a college visit/video game conference. I know which one he is more excited about! But I’m hoping he will see something at University of Puget Sound that he likes. I’d love for him to go to school up there. His aunt and uncle live in Seattle and I love visiting. Worried a little about the long, dreary winters, but he seems to thiink he can handle it. I’m sending positive thoughts along with him. At least UPS will be a real contrast to his last college visit - Southwestern U.</p>

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<p>I can answer my own question. After receiving his iPad this morning, it was stolen right after school, while he was in a stall, in the boys locker room. Claims he was only in there for 2 minutes, but two minutes was plenty of time. I wonder if this high school/middle school is regretting handing out iPads to all students. My kids are all so naive.</p>

<p>Oh no, toledo. I guess someone stole it to sell it, because in theory everyone had one already 
</p>

<p>Toledo I am sorry to hear that, DD takes her IPAD to school, she did last year as well, she uses it for notes. We have been lucky so far and has not had any problems.</p>

<p>I wish ds1, the college sophomore, could be here every night to help ds2 with homework that is way over my head. It’s so cool to hear them in the bedroom talking about physics.</p>

<p>Well, it looks like we won’t be going to public either now. We went in today and it reminded me of the reasons we left in the first place. We gave it a try for 4 years and left in middle school. The beauracracy is awful. However, on top of the lack of knowledge about things, it was the SMELL of the school that made us ill - literally. My daughter and I have very bad allergies to mold and mildew. About 15 mins in, I thought I’d throw up, but we both had sore throats and headaches. We react quickly. My d is in no way a snob at all (believe me, the kids in private are all rich and uppity and she is quiet and so resilient and accepting) - but this place was just not for her. She likes to be surrounded by people who want to learn, and I hate to say it, she didn’t like the way the kids were dressed or that there was no organization. There is something to be said about uniforms and everyone being on an equal playing field. Dont’ get me wrong. She loved the public school in the other town as it was more like private, but we are not residents there. They won’t allow you to attend another town’s public school unless you are a resident as you all know and you have to bring in the deed to your home; tax bills, 3 utility bills, birth certificate, social security card, driver’s license, passport, and they make copies of all that which creeps me out as you don’t want that info floating about. </p>

<p>My d has been through hell and back the past 15 years, and I have never met a stronger person in my life. But this broke her today - she never cries but she left with tears in her eyes and just said mom, i can’t do this. I called the dr too because with her compromised immune system and allergies, she would never make it through the day in this school.</p>

<p>We are not negative people, and I always go in with a positive attitude no matter where I am (having worked in HR most of my life until the past 10 years) as I volunteer with diverse groups of people, but I can’t risk my d’s health period. The private school could not offer us aid and that is sad as we truly need it. You can’t get much worse than foreclosing and having bill collectors constantly calling. I’m doing the right thing getting divorced, as it was mandatory for myself and my daughter to get out of this situation, but there is nowhere for her to go - we are literally boxed in. So I will have to look at home school programs much to my chagrin. </p>

<p>I’m sure these people are very nice at the school, but the smell (like a nursing home or old grandma’s place? very musty and moldly) can’t be tolerated. I wonder why this had to happen in the most important year of my d’s life especially with all she’s been through emotionally and physically these past few years. I’m taking a break from faith right now, as I have killed myself wracking my brains with possible solutions and nothing seems to be working.</p>

<p>meda, look at online schools as well. Sorry the public school isn’t working out.</p>

<p>Meda, I don’t really know your whole back story, but I wanted to provide some perspective. My children transferred from private to public. It was a shock to me at first. When we walked in and saw the hustle and bustle of the publich school with the diversity of dress, t shirts, sweats, jeans, hoodies. I was overwhelmed. It was loud. It was so different from the quiet and orderly private school we came from. It appeared disorganized and unstructured. Looking back, it seems like the kids were not interested in learning.</p>

<p>However, looking back, I was so wrong with my first impression and am so glad we didn’t leave. The way the kids dress and the chaos in the hall ways is in no way an indication of whether the children want to learn or what their capabilities are. There is a great diversity in all economic and social aspects that my children are exposed to regularly as we are in an urban district. We have students with parents in prison, and those with parents that are professors at the local universities. My interactions with all these children have been nothing but positive. </p>

<p>I just wanted to share. I was there and almost bolted, but am so glad we “gave it a try”. </p>

<p>Good luck to you with whatever you decide to do. These decisions are never easy.</p>

<p>So ironic that you’re talking about publics versus privates. My son and I went in to his new PRIVATE high school to report the iPad theft this morning. When I left the school, I’d found that someone had hit my mini van in the parking lot. Of course, it looks like the parking lot security cameras didn’t quite cover my location, and there weren’t security cameras in the locker room, either. I think it’s time to go back to our public school.</p>

<p>SAT and AP testing
</p>

<p>When are your children taking the SATs, ACTs, and SAT IIs? D13 has not started prep work yet and has not yet registered for a prep course. </p>

<p>Just curious how you all intend to approach this.</p>

<p>My son is registered for 2 SATIIs in December, Biology and World History. He’ll do Math2 and probably Literature in June. He’s registered for the May SAT which I like because you can also order the question and answer service with that test date. If he needs to retest in fall of senior year, he can study from that. He has no AP tests to work into the schedule and I think our school district offers a free ACT test around April or something. Depending on how he does on that compared to the SAT, that might be another fall of senior year test.</p>

<p>He took the SAT in May of this year to get a baseline score and allow PLENTY of time for prep. He’s doing really low key prep from the Blue Book right now, focusing on his weaker areas. I just tell him to do a study a section and do the practice questions and we go over them together. That will likely get a bit more structured around PSAT time. I seriously doubt he will get NMSF scores but I’d rather it not be because he never knew the material that he got wrong on previous tests.</p>

<p>Meda
it sounds like the school was a disappointment but you may want to give it a try anyway since the private is not an option and you are not quite ready for the homeschool route either. If, after a couple of weeks, it just isn’t better than you expect
well then homeschool may be your best choice but you will have some time to look into it and see what resources are available to you.</p>

<p>My husband had only been in private schools in south america–uniforms, priests, respect, order–and his thoughts when we went to a urban, 70% low income, no uniform, middle school were not positive. He was convinced our very small, shy and quirky artistic son was going to be chewed up and spit out by the rowdy, foul mouthed, physically large kids around him. It looked so different from our little suburban street that was mainly white/asian affluent kids to go to a school where my husband said “the parents and kids look beat up by life.” We almost pulled out of it but S wanted to give it a try
he definitely liked the gansta look
the only downside was the influence on his taste in popular music although he played in an excellent school orchestra while he was there.</p>

<p>Now we tell everyone it was the best school experience for both our kids even when our daughter was chosen to go to the most selective, magnet program next to our house
we sent her across town to the tough middle school that we had grown to love so much. </p>

<p>The key to a good public school is teachers and staff that STAY–if there is high turnover even in a very affluent school district the school is generally more chaotic and the teaching is more erratic. But a school that has loyal, constant teachers is often an indicator of a really strong school hidden under the general chaos of public school facade. </p>

<p>SATs
well, my D did pretty mediocre on the 10th grade PSAT so I found a little local company that goes through the old PSAT tests with the kids. If she does significantly better on the PSAT in October, perhaps we can think about SAT IIs in May and SAT in June. If October brings more low scores, i think she had better assume that the schools that are SAT II mandatory are out of reach anyway and not waste time/money on those exams. The good thing about trying the little local testing prep firm is to see if it is helpful and, if not, perhaps try working through the prep books together. She thinksshe has already improved somewhat and gained in confidence but realistically she is not going to be getting top scores in October. I can only hope that a slow steady practice effort will pay off for her in May or June with the SAT with the potential to retake in the fall if she is very disappointed in the scores.</p>