<p>Hoping everyone had a great holiday. We just got home, and I’m exhausted. Blazer was a hit with ds2, though I wish it fit better. We tried exchanging it this morning while we were out of town for a smaller size, but the store didn’t have any. Will try it here, too, tomorrow.</p>
<p>We’re ordering Chinese and watching movies all night on the new TV. :)</p>
<p>We arrived home this evening from a family trip to Disneyland. It was a great trip. Unfortunately, when we arrived home, we had a letter from d13 school…her PSAT scores. She did worse than in her sophomore year! She was rude and flippant after reading it and I managed to bite my lip and not respond…I know she was upset and of course, I had tried all summer to have her prep, and she did nothing. </p>
<p>She will be taking the SAT in March and June and I’m not sure what to do…how to get her into an organized way of studying. At this point, my biggest accomplishment was just not saying anything. </p>
<p>We have a big college trip planned and I am not feeling like I even want to try and check out these schools, with her current attitude. She can go to a Cal State here. It’s what her dad wants anyway. </p>
<p>Hopefully, I will also have a better attitude in the morning…it was an 8 hour trip home from LA…it should have been under 6 hours! </p>
<p>Julia</p>
<p>Sooooo, I was totally wrong about S being too sick to take the ACT . . . Im so glad he didnt listen to me . . . 35!!! </p>
<p>@mydog . . . yes, thats what I was waiting to see. Cut-offs probably wont be as high as they were last year. Unfortunately, they wont dip low enough for my S. Thank goodness for the ACT!</p>
<p>@VBCMom . . . I know Im cranky after a long trip . . . hopefully youre all feeling different this morning!</p>
<p>Glad to hear everyone is enjoying their holiday break . . . its going fast!</p>
<p>Congrats to your S, sendemsoaring! My D was pleased with her 35 also, but she is worried about the writing score (not available yet), as she tried to change her opening statement and ran out of time. Hoping it won’t hurt her too much, and some of her schools don’t consider writing anyway.</p>
<p>It sounds like a lot of us need to rest up and recover from the weekend. My oldest is already gone. It is different when they get older and don’t come for weeks at a time any more!</p>
<p>Happy New Year to everybody.
By this time of next year, current juniors should have prepared materials for college application.
My question is, how much do parents help them? I am getting nervous and don’t know how much I should involve in selecting colleges, major, test preparation, etc.</p>
<p>mydog, you’ll get as many answers to that are there are posters on cc. Some parents think they should do nothing; others think they should be really hands-on. I fall in between. Wtih ds1, I was the administrative assistant – reminding him of deadlines, buying envelopes, paying for transcripts, giving things a last once-over, etc. I didn’t fill out a single form, but some parents do. I did read/edit essays. Some people are against that. So whatever feels comfortable for your family.</p>
<p>VBC: sorry for the cranky D. It’s hard when they’re disappointed in themselves. Kuddos to you for not taking it personally.</p>
<p>sendemsoaring: so after you posted the link, being the data dork that I am I had to do some digging. And at least for my state the cutoff seems to mirror to movement of the lowest 99th national % pretty closely (i.e. within 1 pt +/-) I’ll feel a little better once I see the state level data, but I’m pretty confident now for D2 as well as for her good friend who is a couple of points lower than her.</p>
<p>And congrats on the ACT score!</p>
<p>Mydog: I’ll concur with YDS; there is a wide range of how involved parents are in their student’s college search and application process. A quick look on threads here on CC shows that it ranges from “I wish my parents would even acknowledge that I’m applying to college” to “Why won’t my parents let me apply to a school that I like?” I consider myself an executive assistant; I know my D’s test score ranges & GPA so I’ve been able to give her some insight as to where she falls for admission at certain schools. I know what she wants to major in so I’ve been able to point out some schools that may interest her. Certainly, I am the travel agent for the college tours 
Now that she’s got her list down to 13, the rest is up to her. She has to take her tests (and I pulled out calendars to help her figure out when the best time to take them) and she has to keep her gpa up. Once July rolls around she needs to fill out apps and write essays. At that point, I am just the credit card.</p>
<p>When D1 applied, I never saw an essay. I know she ran them past her English teachers and she was happy with them. If she’d asked me to read them I would have, but I didn’t push to see them when it wasn’t offered. But I haven’t helped with homework since early elementary school either, my kids didn’t want/ask for it so I stayed out of their way.</p>
<p>A lot of this is dependent on how your family functions and how your child uses you as a sounding board already. In my heart, I knew that this college process was a passing chapter and I wanted to make sure I made it through without damaging my relationship with my child. </p>
<p>Another note: anecdotally both in real life and on CC, it seems as if parents of boys have a much different experience with college apps then parents of girls.</p>
<p>Hi all! Checking in. Happy Holidays. S3 liked the GPS running watch, but LOVED the Lego Chewbacca key chain. The ACT study guide in his stocking was not well received (tee hee). </p>
<p>VBC mom: Going to a Cal State is not the end of the world. My D1 is a senior math major at San Diego State and has had a great 4 years. And tests are only part of the picture. Grades, EC’s, where she is compared to the rest of the kids from her high school, etc… are all part of the puzzle.</p>
<p>An executive assistant! That sounds like a right role.
My son will take SAT1 in March for sure.
It seems there is not much spare time to dedicate for the test after sports, music, final exams, and video games (!!). </p>
<p>I also have no clue on leadership.
Even though my son participates a couple of clubs, I don’t think he holds any position. However, he likes to go, meet his friends, and help the clubs… most of all he enjoys. In sports and in music, he is not good enough to be a captain or a leader.
Do colleges really seriously look for kids with leadership?</p>
<p>@mamabear Congrats to your D!!! I was surprised to see Ss writing score already posted this morning. S has one school on his list that concords the ACT so SAT, so the writing might be a factor for scholarship consideration. After reading the sample essays, I guessed hed get an 8-10 (great grammar, but a bit mechanical), and he got a 9. Im so glad they didnt have writing when I took it . . . thats the one I never would have been able to finish in time! I hope she gets the score shes looking for.</p>
<p>@RobD Crossing fingers for your D! Is she eyeing a school with a big NM scholarship? Some around here dont seem to care about NMSF since they have their sights set on the top schools that dont recognize it . . . S definitely would have taken advantage of it!</p>
<p>@mydog Ive been doing a lot of research to help S apply strategically (merit aid) when the time comes, rather than taking shots in the dark at schools we wont be able to swing financially. I got a Mom, how would I ever do this without you, so I know its appreciated even if he thinks Im a bit over the top. As far as test prep, S did better on the test that he didnt prep for than the one I bullied him into studying for . . . I should have stayed out of it! The actual applications will be on him, but Ill make sure he is aware of deadlines, etc. He usually asks me to edit essays, so Im sure Ill be doing some of that. </p>
<p>@tx5athome LOL about the ACT book in the stocking. Good luck with that . . . the one I bought just sat around collecting dust. I guess he knew what he was doing though!</p>
<p>Rob, your PM box is full! ;)</p>
<p>Just cleared it! Sorry :(</p>
<p>@sendemsoaring: D has 2 schools on her list that have big NMF packages, a few that give $2000-$5000 (out of a total $45000+ price tag) and a few that have no consideration for NMF at all. All the schools have made the cut because of other criteria (mainly their English/ writing programs) and I will insist come app time that at least one of the big NMF package schools stay on the table. D1 is at Alabama on their NMF scholarship and we/she are thankful for it every day.</p>
<p>@mydog: the leadership part is tricky. There are kids who join things & then after they get elected they actually don’t do anything, while there are kids who have a particular passion and it’s really visible when you look at their resume as a whole, even if they haven’t been president of something. It seems as if the focus on leadership comes more into play when you’re looking at certain scholarships or programs within a college. And at tippy top schools. There are others who have more insight than me in this area.</p>
<p>If you are looking for a full ride NMF scholarship, check out Oklahoma City University. It’s a nice little liberal arts school with an outstanding performing arts program (nationally ranked). They give full tuition, room, board, and book stipend for NMF. They are also starting a crew/rowing program and will give full tuition for top rowers. We toured it with D2 this month and were very impressed. And Oklahoma City isn’t quite as “hick” as it sounds.</p>
<p>Hi tx5athome, sorry, i didn’t mean to give the impression that going to a Cal State is a bad thing…my oldest ds is at a small, new Cal State and doing great. We are really pleased with it. It’s just that dd really wants to go out of state and I was/am hoping for some kind of aid! Her PSAT does not make me optimistic. So we need to rethink things.</p>
<p>Julia</p>
<p>@Longhaul and @PinotNoir - thank you for your suggestions in searching out ideas for colleges to research. I’ll start here, and copy to the 2012 Parents thread. Here goes; if anyone has ideas on colleges that sound like good matches, feel free to chime in!</p>
<p>I have twin sons who are juniors. They will be looking at very different schools.</p>
<p>S1 is highly intelligent. However, he has dealt with severe depression, anxiety and ADD the last few years. Coupled with diagnosed slow processing skills, he is very sluggish in getting his work done, and feels overwhelmed easily. He currently has a 4.49w, 3.96uw gpa. He scored a 182 on the PSAT, without accommodations, leaving a fair number of q’s omitted. He has since received approval for accommodations, so that should help on the SAT, but I fear he will never finish the writing portion on time. I would like to help him find a small school, probably liberal arts, one that has great teachers that provide a stimulating environment intellectually, yet a school that is not competitive or overwhelming in terms of workload. A college that works well with students with special needs would be great. He doesn’t like being around a lot of people, and would prefer a more rural setting, peace and quiet and a great countryside in which to contemplate the meaning of life. He is very interested in linguistics and anthropology right now, spending his spare time creating new languages. He has been very resistant to the “cattle herd” school setting he feels we have in our public school (although it’s a great school), so I’m hoping he can find a school where maybe he takes a lighter load initially, and just sees what its like to take classes for the pure love of learning and enlightening discussions. We live in Colorado and he loves the small mountain towns, so a setting like that might be ideal. </p>
<p>S2 is aiming high. He has a 4.62w, 4.0 uw gpa with a rigorous schedule, but doesn’t have to study very hard, leaving time for lots of EC activities. He scored a 220 and 215, respectively, on his sophomore and junior (drat that CR for him) PSATs, but feels confident he’ll get his SAT above a 2200 (let’s hope!). He has very strong EC’s with lots of leadership roles, including student government, several youth advisory boards, and a semifinals spot at Nationals in Congressional Debate, but not one thing that would definitely give him an in at the tippy top schools. He is very interested in politics, economics, public policy, etc, but doesn’t know specifically what he’d like to major in just yet. He has some top schools on his radar, but he needs to find some solid matches to look at, as well. He comes across like a smart, slightly nerdy, Alex Keaton kind of kid, yet he has a big imagination and isn’t nearly so structured. 
He thinks he’d like a school with 5,000-10,000 undergraduates, but is open to all suggestions. He’d prefer to be in or easily accessible to a big city to enjoy all it has to offer, and loves old/gothic architecture. (Ambience is a big deal to him.) He thinks he would like the east coast, so he and I are spending spring break in the northeast looking at schools, and would welcome suggestions specific to that area, especially within 2-3 hours from Boston. We will also be headed to the New York/Philly area for a couple of days, so could see schools there, as well.</p>
<p>Sorry so long winded, and thanks in advance for all your advice. I love all the comraderie and expertise on CC!</p>
<p>MumTo3, your S1 description made me think of Hendrix College. Don’t think they have linguistics though. I know someone similar who is considering attending, but I don’t have first-hand knowledge if they are good with special needs. Your S2 description immediately brought U Chicago to mind.</p>
<p>VBCMom- Hugs to you. I’m sure she was just dealing with her own feelings and you were in the mix just by being there. I wonder if a Prep class would be good for her in terms of strategy etc? My D is just an okay test taker and I figure a class might be a good idea for her. It would structure a time for her to get in practice. Some classes have a guarantee (x number of points improvement or you get some money back) which make it seem like a pretty good idea. </p>
<p>RobD- I am so glad you made the comment about this being a “Chapter” in our kids lives and preserving our relationship with them through it. I need to remember that. Keep saying it, okay? BTW, I have the hardest time with your screen name. I keep having to remind myself that you are not a guy named Rob! In my mind, I’ve made you Robin just to keep your gender straight!</p>
<p>Congrats to the ACT high scorers!! Very glad it went so well. </p>
<p>I was supposed to go to Phoenix with my Dh for a work related conference in January but our child care has fallen through. So, D and I are planning for a one day or overnight college visit in Jan and a longer one in Feb. I think for Feb we might go visit St Olaf. She is completely taken with everything she has read about it and the size, programs offered etc seem like it could be a good fit. The location, however, in snowy MN is NOT a big draw! I figure taking her to see it in February, when it is butt cold, will either make her decide she doesn’t like it or she will like it DESPITE the cold. I have spoken with her though about the cost. She will need to get some money from St Olaf in order to go and I’m not sure of the likelihood of that. If it motivates her to work harder, though, who am I to stand in the way of that?? </p>
<p>Thinking aloud here: so far James Madison is definitely on her list of schools to which she wants to apply and I feel quite confident she would get in. She would get in to Towson, probably at the Honors level. We need to go check out Salisbury. There are several schools in PA to check out. We want to look at Elon and Furman. </p>
<p>Lots to do in the next year, folks!</p>
<p>Prep classes: I sent D1 to Princeton Review. At the time they guaranteed a 200 point increase but you didn’t get your money back, you got to keep repeating the course “for free”. She did increase 200 points, but so did S2 without prep. I am considering sending S3, but finding the time is the hard part.</p>