<p>Mamabear: Our district actually made a smart move many years back, after a study came out about teenagers and sleep patterns. They determined that the teenagers would perform better with a later start time, so they moved the HS start to 9am. Of course, it doesn’t end until 4:10, so it makes after school jobs more difficult. But my kids love it (they are not morning people).</p>
<p>Howdy, texasmom. We seem to have a lot in common. I have also just settled my oldest (S) into college and my sophomore son is less motivated academically as well. He would much rather be playing GOLF! (Ice Hockey is his winter sport.) He spent most of the summer on the golf course and re-entry into school work has been an adjustment. However, I can see those “glimmers of maturity” Having his brother go off to college makes it more real/immediate for him. It seems to have made an impression (“So, that’s why I should work harder in school . . .”)</p>
<p>RE Bedtime: I am also a stickler about bedtime, YDS. He goes up at about 9:30 and lights-out by 10. Bus picks him up at 6:40 am. He doesn’t give me too hard a time with this as he’s growing like a weed, stays active and is therefore tired out by 10.</p>
<p>YDS </p>
<p>Ashamed to admit, but I gave up long ago on a bedtime for S13. He has always been a nightowl – ceased naps before 18 months because he wasn’t going to sleep until after 11 pm and I’d wake him at 6 am for day care. </p>
<p>By 6th grade, S13 and I spent more time arguing about bedtime than anything else. He is stubborn and would lay in bed & not go to sleep until after midnight – and would make sure we knew it. After I gave up, he began self monitoring better. Now he usually is in bed before 11:30 and he gets up around 6:45 (well 7 after the snooze). Not my ideal, but it works for us.</p>
<p>Working on maintaining bedtime for my 2 youngest (4th & 5th grade) has been much easier. The 5th grader is a “self-monitor” type. The 4th grader just follows what the 5th grader does.</p>
<p>Hi all. Count me in the group with the highly motivated D (11) and totally unmotivated S (13). I just received my first teacher phone call of the year; I was hoping those calls would be a thing of the past and S would buckle down this year. Unfortunately, the teacher called to say that (a) S did not tell her he would be absent today b/c of a school-sponsored field trip and she didn’t know where he was and (b) he is way behind on his assignments and there is a major test this week. When I passed this on to S, he acknowledged his oversight and said he was going to work on those assignments right away! OK. And he’s the one who goes to sleep every night at 10:30 without prodding, while D is up until all hours.</p>
<p>I told ds that I would talk to his dad about maybe setting a later bedtime. His response: “I’m not sure I want a later bedtime.” </p>
<p><em>shocked smiley</em></p>
<p>He doesn’t want to go to bed earlier, he just doesn’t want to have to do work so that he has more time to watch TV and play on the computer. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>The good news is he thinks the teacher was kind of impressed with his project. We shall see.</p>
<p>I have found my kids sleep habits as teens match their needs as little kids. My D’10 used to subsist on no sleep, even as an infant/toddler - same thing today - just does not need sleep. My D’13 screamed going to bed as an infant - would NOT sleep before she was ready - same today 
She usually goes to bed though at 11:30/12 and up by 7:30 so almost 8 hours - then again on weekends/summers she sleeps as long as possible- again it isn’t the sleeping that is her problem, it’s the going to bed! My S’15 though has always been my easiest sleeper - as a toddler he’d say “I’m tired” and walk down the hall and get in bed and fall asleep before we could get there to say goodnight. He’s the one who tries to be in bed by 9/9:30 since he gets up at 6:30.</p>
<p>Our HS starts at 8:19 and we’re close so D13 doesn’t have to sacrifice too much sleep (well morning sleep, LOL).</p>
<p>Meant to write above that he doesn’t want to go to bed later …</p>
<p>Everyone has seen those studies about teenagers needing to sleep longer/later in the morning. Our district had a parent task force years ago recommend this change. They decided the only way they could do it would be if all the other districts around here also changed - yes, it came down to after school sports! </p>
<p>cooker, do your kids go to a small school? Around here, teachers do not call about attendance matters or missing homework. The attendance office would call later in the day, and the first notice about doing poorly in a class would be the 5 week progress reports that go out for D’s or lower.</p>
<p>Ohh, the sleep issue. I could write a dissertation on it
But not tonight.
DS is sick and still going to school. Which is sickening to me, the thought that he is getting everybody around him sick as well. Why is it that you can’t miss a day of school this days?</p>
<p>We live in a large school district with 60,000 students attending 61 schools. There are 5 different operating schedules that the schools are run on with high schools starting the earliest. A few years ago, the district looked at changing the times that our teenagers began school for the day for the reasons mamabear mentioned. They allowed each school to address the isssue with its parents and students, but the idea was met with little interest. High school students and parents wanted their release time to remain the same because of after school sports and jobs. Elementary school parents did not want their little ones standing in the early morning darkness as my D does much of the year. I also like the earlier release time for my high school age student. My S went to a regional magnet that operated on a later schedule for his freshman/sophomore year, and by the time he got home after extracurriculars and ate dinner, there was no time for anything but homework. It was a very long day. </p>
<p>Kelowna, my D hates to miss school because of the make up work. She dislikes playing catch up because it makes her feel harried and unorganized. Her music classes make her practice at home the actual 90 minutes of playing she missed in the class. This is added on to the already required 5/6 hours of weekly practice. There are other classes that if you miss, there are required assignments just for the absentee even if the rest of the class was assigned no homework. I’m not a fan of these policies because they penalize a student for an illness.</p>
<p>One of my parental pet peeves is that our district recognizes perfect attendance. These kids either have an iron constitution (which is great, but it’s not like they’re doing anything out of the ordinary to have that) or they are coming to school and getting the other kids sick. D has a friend who has perfect attendance going back to kindergarten. Awesome but still.</p>
<p>When my kids get sick, they stay home. I’m not talking the sniffles, but I follow the rules about how long to be out if they have a fever, etc. In HS though it seems like it takes at least 2 days to get stuff done for each day they were absent. Almost not worth the staying in bed with a blanket and a kitty :)</p>
<p>After reading this thread, it makes me fell a bit better that my son is not the go-getter I expect him to be…I’m starting to see it may just be a boy thing.</p>
<p>I keep repeating the mantra “Love the kid on the couch.” Not 100% there yet, but trying hard.</p>
<p>The bedtime saga/// I decided to use the parental controls on the modem to turn off the internet or turn off facebook (at least) at 10:30 pm. However, I end up having to change it frequently. WHy? well, yesterday she had fh for 3 hours after school…then a two hour break and then 1.5 hours of soccer. She needed the internet for homework so I had to lift the control…she was asleep by 12:30 am but then leaped out of bed at 7 moaning that I should have woken her earlier because she wanted to check some answers before math quiz at 8:15 could I get her to school by 7:30? If DS had ever shown such motivation I would have considered it a heavenly intervention and become religious, but on the other hand I think she is wearing herself out. I said to her…drop the FH or the soccer or just get a B in math…you need your sleep! she thinks I am overconcerned about the sleep issue.</p>
<p>FAMM: My D thinks we’re over reacting too. I just said to DH this morning that we just need to let her do her thing and not comment. She can be quite stubborn and she is appalled that we are asking her to be “a slacker.” Us telling her that she has to chill out seems to be making her dig in. There could be so many worse problems to have than a kid who wants to do well in school :)</p>
<p>I watched D1, who could handle the work hard schedule better than any of us, crack a bit a few times and know D2 would not handle that well at all. So far though she’s doing well although she’s really not liking her Art class so I’m encouraging her to talk to her GC to see if there is something she can switch into - mainly because it’s only week 3 and I’m already tired of the complaints and don’t want to deal with it for a whole year!</p>
<p>I did ask her last night if she had an idea of what type of location she’d like a college in - city or town with enough going on was the answer so middle of nowhere is out - I really didn’t need to ask her that to know that but wanted her to ponder it. That will be my last college related probe for at least a few more months - i figure if I stagger them she’ll be a little more ready to think about it next year - we’ll see!</p>
<p>I agree that the “not too concerned about school” attitude seems to be more common in boys. DD, my 4.0 GPA, 33 ACT, coca cola scholar daughter does note however that DS will never have stress related illnesses because he has no stress. DD used to study 3-4 hours a day, everyday, always stayed on top of homework, never had a missing assignment etc etc. DS misses assignments about once a week, rarely studies for tests and alas, has little stress in his life - of course if he has a bad golf round that is a different story. I am holding my breath waiting for the PSAT so I can have a baseline for how he tests, this will determine if he is off to SAT school or not. I’m hoping for a good SAT score, top 25% of the class…I think both DS and I can live with this and stave off the nagging about daily assignments. </p>
<p>I too have a pet peeve about the attendence nazis - if a student is not in school at 9am they are calling to verify they are home (which may be fine if you have a student that skips school without your knowledge). Our school has a rule that if you miss more than 5 days of school in a given semester you lose all your exam exeptions. Now, since my DS plays sports, they have no issue with him missing 13 days for golf. He is a newly diagnosed diabetic and the monthly mandatory education classes required for the doc to prescribe an insulin pump are not excusable…geez. I try to look at the bright side * he is getting practice taking exams.</p>
<p>You can’t get a dr. note for the diabetes education classes? My S used to get dr. note for physical therapy and occupational therapy.</p>
<p>ELY </p>
<p>We do have a lot in common - my son played ice hockey for 7 or 8 years, gave it up for golf 2 years ago (he hadn’t grown yet and was at least 100 pounds lighter than his teammates). Hockey does build the arms and makes the transition to golf a little easier. DS does continue to play inline hockey whenever he can, school is starting a hockey team this year, he thought about playing but doesn’t have enough time given he plays 18 holes every single day. </p>
<p>DD an equestrian went through the NCAA recruiting process, so I am starting to refresh my memory on the process for the clearinghouse for DS.</p>
<p>Megpmom </p>
<p>I have doctors note, the school will still not count the day as “excused”. The policy is that only 5 days can be missed - they are unconcerned about the reason. I have really screamed about this one given that (at this point) diabetes is a life long journey and education is the key. I believe the school is sending the wrong message by saying that medical education is less important that a school sport. </p>
<p>I have done some creative scheduling with his diabetes team - I did the September appointment in late August before school started - I printed the school calendar and booked the October appointment on a day the school has a “teacher work day”, so I have eliminated 2 of the required days - he will still go to the hospital for a day in November and a day in December, so as long as he doesn’t catch anything else, he might get to keep his exam exemptions this semester.</p>
<p>texasmom14:
My kids also freak out about the 5 absence rule. D lost her exemption one semester because she forgot to take a note after an absence (I wrote a note - she just forgot to turn it in!). We were worried about senior year because of college auditions - luckily her theatre director convinced the administration that a 3 day trip to Chicago for auditions was a “field trip” and D and 3 other students got excused. Theatre is just like sports - I think D had 22 excused days last year for competitions, performances, workshops, auditions, etc. But be sick more than 5 days? Forget about it!</p>