<p>Driving with other teens isn’t one of my big hangups. I try to find out who he will be riding with, but since I know and trust all of his friends, it hasn’t been a big deal. Hey, I’m the parent who let my older D get her license at 15 cause I was tired of driving her to rehearsals. But, I did enforce the “only one passenger” rule and no phone or ipod.</p>
<p>This is one of those issues that has too many variables. You have to go with your gut. You know your daughter and whether she is responsible and can stand up for herself or not. It is very hard for a teen to say, “hey stop texting and driving” to a friend or even worse, a friend of a friend. Teens here don’t really drive until they are at least 17. I find that a good thing! I’m ok with them driving around on our local streets. I’m not ok with highway driving. My kids aren’t hanging with the big party crowd though. It is very hard, but you have to make a call and be consistent. Good luck!</p>
<p>When our D started driving, we made her put her purse in the trunk before she started the car. That way, I knew she wouldn’t be tempted by her gadgets. But, I agree, that you can’t control what other teen drivers are doing. Like I said, I only let S ride with kids I know - and from what I’ve seen, they all seem to be pretty responsible. But teens are teens after all. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth, pray a lot and let them have their independence.</p>
<p>This is one of those topics we all face, huh? Ds1 was on his varsity team as a freshman, and the guys would drive to the games themselves sometimes because it was only a couple of miles away and the coach was too lazy to get a bus. Thankfully, he is a really cautious kid, not a risk-taker at all, so he was not going to get in a car with some of the guys no matter what. He’d tell me, “I trust Bob and Joe, but not Bill, Tom or Sam.” The coach was no dummy, so he often took the youngest kids in his truck, including ds.</p>
<p>By the time he was a sophomore, I trusted him to make the best choice available. By then he was in driver’s ed, and we’d had lots of talks about lack of judgment among young drivers, including my story about being in a truck that rolled when my friend’s sister’s boyfriend was driving us home from middle school. And this before the mandatory seat-belt laws. Told him that the kid took a turn too fast because my friend hadn’t given him enough time to safely make the turn (he didn’t know where I lived, so the 12yo was giving directions). He ended up on gravel and flipped his truck. It’s one of those things where, techinically, it wasn’t anyone’s fault – it’s not like this guy was trying to show off or even driving too fast – but it was his poor judgment to TRY to make the turn when he should have just passed the intersection and circled back that worries me. Young drivers just don’t think through the possible consequences, not enough life experience.</p>
<p>Ds2 only has one friend in his grade who drives. He’s not quite as discerning as ds1, but I think he’ll also be pretty good about avoiding riding with bad drivers.</p>
<p>Virginia doesn’t really call it a restricted license but there are similar rules about how many non-related passengers can be in a car the first 6 months of getting the license for kids under age 18. The problem is that neither I nor my daughter will know when a kid has passed the 6 month rule except for her closest friends. I find that many parents are not monitoring this. We have a lot of kids with a lot of money in our area and many have their own cars. </p>
<p>My D is a strong personality but is still a bit awed/shy of the older kids. I can’t imagine my daughter having the gumption to tell the friend of a friend to stop texting while driving or to slow down. However, I can see her doing this with her close friends once they are all driving. THis is why I have not let her drive with any teens since her close friends are just getting their permits. What makes it particularly tough is that I seem to be the only holdout on not letting my D go in cars driven by older, less well known friends. To be consistent, I don’t let her drive with teamates either, even seniors. “If I don’t know the kid well, you can’t drive with them” has been my mantra which has meant she hasn’t gone in the car with another teen yet. My definition of “well” being that I know their parents and have their phone number so I can call should she be late getting home or if I think there is something wrong. She thinks I am nuts but she has been very obedient and too often has had to wait alone at the library while all her friends go off to a game or out to eat.</p>
<p>My S was the only freshman on a varsity team last spring so I had the driving issue too. I knew the seniors (friends of my D) and I knew who I preferred to drive him home from practice. D would also tell me “don’t let him in the car with X driving.” The sport doesn’t start again till March so I have a few months before this comes up again.</p>
<p>I am still nervous with D and her friends (home from freshman year of college for break), especially at night. I am trying to be rationale though it’s not always easy. And I trust her. When the group started driving, she would tell me who she wouldn’t drive with.</p>
<p>Wonder if the car worry ever goes away. I’m sure it gets easier, but I can’t imagine ever stop worrying as a parent.</p>
<p>S’13 had his 3rd “drive time” for drivers ed last night. Older D accidentally drove my car through a restaurant wall on the first day she had her permit. So, we always shout (jokingly) as S gets out of the car “Just don’t drive through the deli!” And so far, so good. Compared to her - he’s doing great!!</p>
<p>Uggg - Just faced the drive situation for the first time this week. School is out, but sports practices are still in session. Son arranged his own ride and didn’t tell me til 10 pm. that he had practice in the morning. At that point, it was one of 3 people taking him to practice – coach, student or parent. Guess who took him? Yup, the student. I let it slide and told him next time I want to know in advance because I’m not comfortable with kids driving. </p>
<p>Truth is, I don’t even know the kids well enough to know whom to trust. I’ve seen “nice” and “straight A” kids who where just air-heads behind the wheel. </p>
<p>Personally, I was driving with teens when I was 13. Now I finally understand why my parents didn’t allow it (um, I just chose to not always tell them).</p>
<p>Just wanted to jump on and wish a Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!</p>
<p>As recently as 2 months ago, all my son could think about majoring in was video game design. He wouldn’t even talk about anything else. Then he spoke with someone who is in computer engineering and, all of a sudden, he wants to design robots for the US government. Then, last night, he comes in and asks me how nerves send impulses to the limbs/brains and how they know how to do that. And as an aside he says he’s thinking about majoring in biomedical engineering! I don’t think I can take 2 1/2 more years of this!!!</p>
<p>My son will be graduating from HS in 2013. He goes to a large public school (over 2600 students).</p>
<p>Welcome aghaby!</p>
<p>terinzak - Son changing his mind may make you insane, but at least he is putting thought into it. I’d find it a refreshing change of pace from my kid.</p>
<p>Hope all had a nice Christmas. In the middle of a Nor’Eastern here. Hoping work is closed tomorrow and happy that kids are on holiday. </p>
<p>Got some PS3 games for Christmas, but also got the yellow light of death on the PS3. Tomorrow night will be spent with you-tube and searching for do-it yourself fixes of PS3.</p>
<p>… or whatever you celebrate. Hope it was a good one for all of you. Ours was good. :-)</p>
<p>Re: driving. My D will be 16 in May but hasn’t been real focused on driving at this point. We live in a very high volume area and so it is not unusual for kids to wait. We might aim for Driver’s Ed this summer. No big rush since she isn’t chomping at the bit. So different than when <em>I</em> was a kid- my mom let me skip school and took me to get my license the day I turned 16- and then I drove myself to school thereafter!</p>
<p>Re: college. D still seems to be less than interesting in discussing this. Her grades have dropped some from where they were last semester, which is not the direction I’d like to see them go. I wish she could see more clearly how not making a really good effort now will affect her college choices. Anyone else feeling this frustration? I try really hard not to harp about it (like the Charlie Brown teacher. Wah wah wah) but I also find it really hard to wait for her to wake up and smell the scholarship money!</p>
<p>Well we had an interesting experience yesterday. S showed up to shoot a commercial - just a one day gig - no big deal. He came home with a new (very different) haircut! He has had his hair trimmed at a shoot before - but never anything this extreme. He likes it, which is good. S also told me that they wanted to dye his hair as well, but he said “I’m not sure my mom would like that.” But I guess that’s why they make us sign the “hair” clause in all his contracts. I’m getting used to it. We had to take a picture and send it to his dad in CA! And, of course, he wanted to go out and show all his friends last night. It’s hair - it will grow back.</p>
<p>^^^What color did they want to use? ;)</p>
<p>D2 & I had a productive chat last night about college. She had said she would go through the bag of brochures that she had picked up in September at the College Fair during break. D1 & I sat with her and she realized pretty quickly that she had to come up with some ways to effectively narrow things down. She’s looking for schools with an English major (well, that’s pretty much every one) with a creative writing concentration or some other writing focus. Once she got through about 20 brochures & had only pitched 1, I was able to start telling her about looking at average test scores to get a feel for the student body and where she would fit. </p>
<p>I think I saw a light bulb come on during the process 
She had me take out the big book of college doom (the US News book that has info on all 3000+ schools) so she could do some more research. </p>
<p>It is so nice to see her with some color in her face & her black eye circles almost gone. Next month will be interesting as I’m sure the IB pendulum will be swinging viciously as she needs to make her decision…</p>
<p>Rob D - I think they wanted to lighten it. S has naturally blond hair, but it is starting to darken to kind of “dishwater blond.” Personally, I would have been OK with lightening it, but S has a fear of ending up with “frosted tips.” On the plus side, his director at school has been always after him to cut his hair (his former haircut was very “Justin Bieber”). They’re currently rehearsing “Singin’ in the Rain” and I think with a little hair gel we can get a good 1920’s look for him. Then he goes into rehearsal for A Midsummer Night’s Dream set in the '30s. </p>
<p>As far as college goes: at least my college freshman D finally sat down yesterday and figured out how to fit a double major into 4 years. S still has no idea what he wants - Musical Theatre or Vocal Performance. And there is a whole separate set of schools depending on which he finally picks.</p>
<p>megp: is he considering a conservatory? I know that parents on my other D’s thread talked about auditioning for MT programs last year and I was amazed by how much more it added to the whole college search/application process.</p>
<p>My D’08 has long hair and hates to get her haircut, whereas my S’13 went from basically a Justin Bieber to a short spike last summer and thought it was great. In fact he would only let pictures with the new haircut make the cut for the X-mas card photo.</p>
<p>Hello everyone! This is my first post on College Confidential, although I’ve enjoyed reading your posts for a little while. Frankly, I get very intimidated any time I spend much time on CC! I have a question about PSAT scores. My son (my oldest, and class of 2013) took the PSAT this fall, along with a handfull of other sophomores at his school, and recently received his scores back. They were pretty strong (220). I believe he marked the “no mail” box on the PSAT form. However, I’m wondering if having this score might make him eligible for any particular summer program opportunities. If so, should we be trying to get his PSAT scores forwarded to any colleges? Thanks in advance for any input you might have!</p>
<p>RobD: Yes, my S wants to go to a conservatory. He likes the idea of very few, if any, general education credits. His dad and I would be fine with a conservatory because he really has no other interests outside of the arts.The big issue is employablility. His voice coach thinks he has better options going the vocal performance route to do opera. S still wants to pursue musical theatre. At least we have a year or so until he has to make a decision. We went through the whole musical theatre process with D last year so we realize what a headache the whole audition process is. </p>
<p>Mumto3: Welcome! Congrats on your son’s PSAT scores. My kids received some mailings about summer programs after the PSAT, but not anything that you couldn’t search for on your own, ie. no scholarships, etc.</p>