Parents of the HS Class of 2013

Parents of Class of 20xx
1641

<p>Checking in to say that D2 & I got a lot of college planning work done this week. I get to wash my hands of it now for a few months :slight_smile: We went to a local college “Preview Day” yesterday (Belmont) and D’s funny comment was that she liked it best of the places we’ve visited so far but too bad she won’t be applying because it’s too close to home. </p>

<p>Added total # of undergrads for each school to her college spreadsheet & eliminated most that were under 1800 (which is how many kids are in her HS.) Then added distance from home, driving times & if there were nonstop or direct flights between home & the campus. That eliminated another bunch. I also added in average high & low temps for January; D decided not to cut anybody because of that “yet.” </p>

<p>At the risk of y’all realizing how totally OCD I can be, I put all the surviving colleges into a Google Map that I shared with D and that we can both edit (and I put the spreadsheet in Google Docs and shared it with her so we can both edit.) I printed out the map and did a 250 mile radius & 500 mile radius so we can both get a better visual. </p>

<p>What can I say? I’m avoiding doing my taxes…</p>

<p>The list is now down to 35. And I won’t be doing much else with it. We probably won’t visit any more schools until her mini Fall break in October. </p>

<p>Back to school tomorrow :(</p>

1642

<p>S2 was home last week for Spring Break and D1 is home this week. S3’s high school spring break is not for another couple of weeks. We debated the AP Bio vs AP Chem and decided to go with AP Bio this year since, although a tough course, at least it is known how tough it will be and decided that he didn’t want to be the first to take the new AP Bio test the following year. Also this will give us a chance to see how AP Chem goes for next year.</p>

1643

<p>D2 ('13) is at her first track meet today - she’s never run track before so she told me not to count on her coming in first and I told her not to worry and that if she comes in last just to think of it as saving someone else from being last :slight_smile: She actually liked that approach since she’s quite certain she will be pulling up the rear - I’m just proud she’s trying it and not afraid. She did not want any of us at this meet and as it was in a neighboring county with awful traffic at this time we obliged but I’m looking forward to hearing how she does!</p>

1644

<p>Shilly the beauty of track is that even if you are not the best you can always work on improving your time. A friend once told me that you didn’t run your hardest if you don’t throw up. So instead of asking my son how he did, I always ask him if he threw up. If he answers “no, but I felt like it”, I say “oh, good job then”.</p>

1645

<p>RobD We’re (I’m) still at the adding to the list phase based on 2 likely areas of study and a wide range of selectivity. SATs are going to be the real wild card in my son’s list. He’ll be taking them in May purely as a wake up call but I think they’ll be a decent baseline to start narrowing things down. I think we’re at about 35 schools too, if not more. </p>

<p>Shilly, I ran track all 4 years in high school. I was far from a superstar but still managed to complete in the Penn Relays and earn an All-City letter 2 years. The cool thing was that I got to try different things like hurdles and long jumping which is what I lettered in. I hope your kiddo has fun this first time out.</p>

1646

<p>Hey, everyone. Been MIA.</p>

<p>I can’t believe how far along some of you are with lists and everything. We have “ideas,” but won’t really talk about it until this summer, unless he gets into that D.C. program – then there’s planning to be done around that trip.</p>

<p>In good news, ds won a statewide award this weekend. In unknown news, he hasn’t heard back from the congressman’s office, and tomorrow is two weeks. They said it would be a week or two. Think he should write them just to check in? If so, what would he say?</p>

1647

<p>My D is also trying track and field this year. She’s always been in performing arts and dance, and she thought she’d try a sport in high school (middle school they had to try all sports to prepare for high school). She didn’t want to do crew or swimming due to all the weekend travel and meets, so she did dance and yoga last year, so she could keep up with music and theater. She is not a fast runner (she has asthma, vocal cord dysfunction and hashimoto’s, so she gets winded a lot), and that was never her goal. It was more for a team bonding experience and to meet new girls. Surprisingly, the thing she is good at is discus, because she has fluidity in her arms due to years of dance. We never expected that nor did she. She has terrible bunions (they are so bad she needs surgery, but we’ve been putting it off). I’m hoping that it won’t impact practices too much (they ironically have a lot of weekend meets, and the coaches warned us they have to be at all practices and meets or face detention).</p>

<p>As for college visits and narrowing them down, we haven’t even begun. We are having our 3rd school meeting in May which will cover college planning and visits. I’d like to get it done while the schools are in session, and with next year’s schedule, I don’t when we will do it all. A lot of the girls in my D’s school usually go in the fall of senior year. </p>

<p>My D doesn’t even want to discuss all that right now. I feel like as grown up and mature as she is, in many ways, she still wants to remain a child a little longer. With the amount of hw all these kids get, there just isn’t enough time to be a “child” nowadays - since the hw gets heavy from 6th grade on. They have dances, and although they are “chaperoned,” many kids still show up drunk. You wonder if all the pressure is getting to them and that is why they are drinking now more than ever. Many parents don’t appear to be around a lot either. </p>

<p>Anyone see the “Race to Nowhere?” It is so chilling and spot on. It is so riveting, and it is something our culture sees over and over again where kids feel they need to be in the best classes, compete in athletics, do community service, music, theater, etc. just to get in a top notch school. I always wondered why so many of the girls I see in our area are so thin and everyone seems to be on ADD meds (I thought it was just to get extra time for tests). The film depicts kids who starve themselves and take the meds so they can stay up late to do hw (and yet there are still so much cheating going on). The kids stay up till 2-3am. I told my daughter, that that will never be the case in our house. As it is she starts classes by 7am and goes until 5pm, and then another 45-60 min commute back home to face another 4-5 hours of homework even on weekends and breaks. It’s like 2 full time jobs for these kids. And her schedule is without AP classes! </p>

<p>The schools double-talk telling students to get 8-9 hours of sleep, have speakers and doctors coming in to talk about the importance of sleep, and then turn right around and pile the how right back on. Most of the parents think this is a good thing, so no one speaks up. </p>

<p>There is truth in what the movie depicts that the kids memorize for tests and then forget it all, and that they are never taught life skills. They are completely overscheduled.</p>

<p>I homeschooled for one year when my daughter was 5, and I used the K-12 program created by Bill Bennett (former Secy of Ed under Reagan). It was very thorough. Bennett also wrote the book “The Educated Child,” that talks about what your child should be learning in each grade. I must say that in private school, it seems like they are pushing all the hard subjects (you buy these $100+ heavy books for science and math and they never even crack them at my D’s school), but they don’t focus on the basics. It upsets me so much which is why we are re-evaluating whether or not to stay in this school. The tests are incredibly difficult in the “history” classes, for example, and yet there are kids who have no idea about geography (there have been things said like "I’m going to VT skiing this weekend and we are going to stop and see friends in Iowa (what???) or the capital of France is Belgium (???). Even many adults are geographically-impaired (I can’t tell you how many people I worked with in a large corporation years ago that thought Singapore was in China or Shang-hai (???) or Saudi Arabia. I once called from there to order something, and the girl on the phone in America asked me if Singapore was in Florida! </p>

<p>And with all the hw, chore and church/temple time is nearly non-existent. The kids try and catch up on sleep on weekends, and if they do have meets, then they never have those extra hours to sleep in or just be with friends. The film talks about how kids today are physically and mentally burned out and have no critical thinking skills. The film is “dedicated to a bright, beautiful teenaged girl who committed suicide out of the blue, and the mom had no sign except for a bad grade on a math test.”</p>

<p>IMO, life is just too short for all this stress. There are over 3000 colleges out there and room for everyone. The whole AP thing just creeps me out so badly, and schools (and colleges) keep stressing the importance of them and straight A’s to get into a “good” school. The kids have no time to just relax and enjoy themselves, and the competition is causing some kids to get ill, cheat, drink and use drugs. I think that is why the drop out rate in college is getting higher. A friend of mine has a psychiatry practice and says more and more kids are coming in saying they just don’t want to go back to college because it was not their dream to be in an ivy but their parents. Then the parents come in and expect him to work miracles and force the kids to go back to school. It’s just horrible. </p>

<p>Even though the schools in our area are all screening the “Race to Nowhere,” there still is no pulling back and the kids (at least in our area) come home feeling like B’s are a “bad thing.” It’s ridiculous especially given how hard they work and how difficult the classes are. </p>

<p>I just want my D to be happy, find a career that she is passionate about and to be one of the lucky ones who actually enjoys her job and loves going to work everyday.</p>

1648

<p>Thanks - D2 enjoyed (or maybe I should just say survived, LOL) her first race and wasn’t last which she was happy with. And she’s been seeing improvement so she’s happy which is all I ask!</p>

<p>We are no where on a list of colleges although the deluge of mail for her has started her thinking on it which helps. We will likely try to visit some schools as we are near them and then make a more concerted effort later this summer/fall.</p>

<p>I agree that for many kids HS is an extreme pressure cooker with no guaranteed rewards - especially when you see some of the very selective schools and their results threads - you have very gifted students being rejected. It would be one thing if there were guaranteed acceptance based on certain criteria (and of course with a well crafted list you can guarantee an acceptance of some sort but since many just aim straight for the Ivies) but students can work there tail off for all of HS and then FA may not work out or they may not get into the top schools they had been working so hard for and they feel a sense of failure hard to overcome.</p>

<p>My D1 wasn’t focused on the tippy top schools, after pushing herself so hard in HS she liked the idea of just going among like-minded peers and has been very happy at her school and the level of students there. But for D2, who isn’t cut of the same self-pushing cloth that D1 was/is, there is just no need for the pressure race, her schedule is right for her and I am cautiously optimistic that it will all work out just fine for her in the end (not that I won’t likely be stressing in 2 years around this time either way:) ). I really think though it is finding the right balance for each kid because it is often different and making sure they have a passion that helps balance out everything. For kids that thrive though on doing it all, that’s great, just know it’s ok if that isn’t your kid! :)</p>

1649

<p>Hi everyone! </p>

<p>I have just finished up this process with D1 and have begun discussing it with D2. Just to give you a sense of the “lottery aspect” of the application/decision process, check out the last 10 pages or so of the HS Class of 2011 thread…it is an eye opening roller coaster ride. I am just hoping it gets easier when the Class of 2013 applies. </p>

<p>From my own experience, D1 has changed her mind about what she liked several times from Spring of Sophmore year to now. She orginally thought she wanted to go to a D1 sports, rural, big U. Then she checked out all the LACs. But she has decided on an very urban, large U with many global opportunities. She applied to 9 schools, got into all of them but was waitlisted for one specific program (she was accepted into the school but not the program - she was also given a large merit scholarship to this school - so come to our school but you can’t study what you want - weird!). </p>

<p>Three pieces of info that I want to pay forward - 1. Someone on the 2011 board coined the phrase “Love the kid on the couch”. Things will get rough at times during the process and stress levels will be high. At the end of the day, just love the kid on the couch. 2. It Is really a lottery to get intot he top 25 schools. There are thousands of kids with NMS, great GPAs, tons of EC, national awards, etc. Some of the acceptance decisions don’t necessarily make sense…so, love your academic and financial safeties. Pick several safeties…3. Chooce one rolling decision school so that you have have an acceptance under your belt early on in the process. It takes the pressure off and it gives the student a confidence boost.</p>

<p>D1 ended up choosing the one school that was initally at the bottom of her list (it is an academic match for her). But as the process continued, it kept bubbling up higher and higher to the top. So, you just never know,</p>

1650

<p>MOB: Great Advice. I have survived the roller-coaster twice and my advice is always don’t fall in love with a school before you get accepted (if you can help it). With S2’s class last year I saw a big change (especially with the boys) with who they were and where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do from September of Senior year, to the Spring, to the Fall when they left. For D1 she did not get into the top 3 schools she thought she wanted to go to (in hindsight they weren’t perfect anyway) and ended up at a school she applied to at the very last minute (in November) as an afterthought. It ends up to be the perfect school for her and she is doing extremely well. It is easier to say when you are not in the middle of it but “everything works out in the end” (and if it hasn’t worked out yet than it isn’t the end).</p>

1651

<p>tx5 - It is VERY hard for me to not fall in love with certain schools. I was biting my nails with my neice’s choice - She chose American which was my #1 pick for her, so I feel I won ;). </p>

<p>I’ve already fallen in love with a school for my son. I’m afraid to even discuss it because Mom never knows best for him and it may be reject before we even get to senior year just because I love it.</p>

<p>I’m also trying hard to love Bama and other schools which are financially affordable for us (at least today - who knows in 2 years).</p>

<p>The Google Maps sounds like fun. My son would put me in a padded room if I started putting colleges on a map. He already wonders now that neice has deposited on a college, why I still come on here.</p>

1652

<p>I have a D who is a college freshman and process went smoothly but have a S who is a sophomore. When do we start to look at colleges without it seeming too early? I didnt know about CC when my daughter was going through the nightmare.</p>

1653

<p>I take back what I wrote yesterday. Ds signed up for a college fair for next week. Let the fun begin!</p>

1654

<p>Now all of you are making me feel behind on college searching - I may have to start seeing if we can get ideas for D2 but she’s all over the map on potential interest for majors and that can be a huge deciding factor - it was easier with D1 since it was always about engineering! :)</p>

<p>Oneeyedfinch - welcome, and feel free to join us in the parents of '10ers thread too (now we’re college class of 2014 and beyond :slight_smile: ) </p>

<p>Ultimately though I think now is a good time to start getting ideas for size, location, potential majors, etc - just know it can and likely will change drastically by the time they are seniors and also between when they apply and when decisions come out!</p>

1655

<p>I certainly didn’t mean to freak anyone out with my planning! One of the joys of being a librarian; I love to research :)</p>

<p>Since D2 is looking for schools with strong creative writing programs is means a much different search than for D1. And when D1 started looking I wasn’t working full time yet, so I had more latitude in being able to schedule college visits. </p>

<p>I have to say that I’ve been reading some of the threads today and pre-hyperventilating for two years from now…</p>

1656

<p>I’m very much hyperventilating, and I have hypertension which makes it worse. I feel so badly for my D as she is working as hard as she can and getting frustrated. She will NEVER get math, so that will always be the thorn in her side. As I mentioned we are in private school, but as I said, the publics are getting in just as many, if not more, great schools and Ivyies. </p>

<p>I saw someone post in another forum that unless you have perfect SAT scores, all AP courses through your high school years and A’s and A+'s in them plus good extracurriculars, and are in the top 10% of your class, you can virtually forget about Ivyies or any top liberal arts schools. The person suggests a community college or state university. Well that did it for me. The intensity and rigor of the classes at my D’s school are insane, and for all that, we (she wasn’t referring to me as I was just a lurker) would settle for a CC or State college? </p>

<p>My D’s friend graduated this year, and she got in 14 of the 15 schools she applied to - Univ of Michigan, USC, Brandeis, Vassar, Cornell,Yale, Princeton, Dartmouth, Wesleyan, Duke, Columbia, waitlisted at harvard, and only school she got rejected from was Brown. She went to public, did theater, wrote 2 newspaper columns in 2 different town papers, wrote a 10 min play, directed it and got it published, tutored SAT’s, ran a dom violence club at school and fundraised for it and took all AP’s and got A’s and 5’s on her tests…and got 800’s on her subject tests and 2390 on her SAT’s. So I guess the poster was right? </p>

<p>My D, too, is vascillating about a major, and I wonder does that play into acceptances? I know one of the CC at school said she told a girl to apply to Georgetown for English but the girls’ mother hired an outside CC who told her to apply there for chemistry and the girl got rejected. </p>

<p>I just want to take some horse-strength valium and wake up after college acceptances in 2 years (lol). </p>

<p>Given how costly it is to travel for college visits, are you all just going to the college sites, and then visiting nearby colleges only? </p>

<p>Sorry if I sound so stressed out and am stressing anyone else out!!!</p>

1657

<p>medavinci: Breath! This is CC remember and I assure you that your D will have plenty of options 2 years from now besides community college. There’s always a lot of posturing…And while every family has criteria that matter to them for the college search, remember that there is a great deal of variability in state schools. The good news is that there are over 3000 colleges in this country and you’re 2 years from decision time. You have plenty of time to do research. Also remember there’s only a small percentage of colleges that have the insane admissions percentages. </p>

<p>Have you read the book “Colleges that Change Lives” by Loren Pope? I liked it. Helped put the whole Ivy/top college mania into perspective.</p>

<p>Someone mentioned ■■■■■■■■■■ in another posting. D2’s counselor had told the kids to get an account so we did that last night. Interesting stuff. Of course, she doesn’t have a full profile since she hasn’t taken any of her tests “for real” yet but it seems as if it will be helpful, especially since our school doesn’t use Naviance.</p>

1658

<p>medavinci - I second RobD - just take one step at a time…I think that parents need to put “rankings” and “prestige” into perspective during this process. D1 just finished this process for a highly selective program…only 45-60 seats per university. Very difficult 2-step admissions process - you have to aply to the school and then to the program - double the ssays, interviews, etc. She got into every school she applied to but was waitlisted for one of the programs.</p>

<p>She just made her decision this week - she chose not to go to the highly ranked programs and decided to go to a “hidden gem”. I couldn’t be more pleased with her decision…she loved all of the schools but when she visited the specific programs, she found vast differences in learning philosophy and culture. In fact, she thought that the more established highly ranked programs were academic in nature, very traditional and not keeping up with how the world was changing. She also felt that the people running the programs did not feel a need to evolve since they were already established in the top tier programs. So, I just caution parents to look under the covers and consider other options that may not be at the top - there very well may be better programs that will provide better opportunities that are not readily apparent to the rest of the world.</p>

<p>The program she chose is very global and progressive — she will have a mandatory semester abroad with the opportunity to intern abroad if she wants to. Some of these opportunities are avaiable in the other programs but not to the extent at where she is going…even at one of the ivies. </p>

<p>As far as visiting, D applied to several schools site unseen and only visited once she received an acceptance and attended the Welcome Day. Welcome Days are “dog and pony” shows, the colleges are on their best behavior. But it is during this time that you really have full access to the professors and students in particular programs.</p>

1659

<p>medavinci, yes, breathe, but also know that these early days can be some of the most important in the college search. I’ll tell you why.</p>

<p>I think kids need to enter this process clear-eyed. Your dd needs to be told right now that some of the top schools are a crapshoot, the limited spots mean that lots of great kids will be rejected, that this in no way reflects on her as a person, that how colleges make classes is subjective, that she might play sax and this year they need a soccer player, that there are LOTS of great schools out there beyond the HYPs, that she will bloom where planted, that she needs a safety she really likes and the family can afford, etc.</p>

<p>In other words, she needs a REALITY CHECK before becoming to invested in one school. </p>

<p>But that doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t also apply to reaches and have fun looking and picture herself at all kinds of wonderful places and think of the people she’ll meet. </p>

<p>I loved the college search process with ds1. I predict some things will be easier and some will be more difficult with ds2.</p>

1660

<p>Call me crazy, but I find that my million and one lists help pull me from the edge. I think at this point I have a plan A, B, C and D :slight_smile: It makes me feel better to have concrete options for the various “what if” scenarios I dream up on my own and the CC induced ones. So for me, the stress comes from all the possibilties, even knowing my kid is not going to be one of those tippy top kids.
But the bottom line is that I know, and make sure my kid knows as well, that he will be fine wherever he ends up because we will make a good choice when the time comes. And I talk up community college as often as I talk up all the other schools on my meta-list.</p>