<p>Do your kids have a general idea of where they’d like to go? Or at least SOME thoughts?</p>
<p>We visited Vandy over fall break (my choice - I thought it would be a fun Nashville weekend regardless) and have planned to visit schools over spring break in March.</p>
<p>Except she has no idea … and says I’m stressing her out when I ask. (Which I do occasionally - maybe once every several weeks perhaps?) </p>
<p>I told her she has until the end of Christmas Break to come up with some visiting options for spring break because it needs to be planned. I have doubts on if it will come to fruition.</p>
<p>One part of me wants to not push for choices and scrap visiting over break altogether. Because if she’s not making an effort, how can I make those choices for her?</p>
<p>On the other hand, she needs to see some school options up close and personal.</p>
<p>I just don’t know.</p>
<p>She’s a highly motivated kid - great grades, IB student, captain of debate, honor choir, yada yada yada - slacker she is not. But when it comes to college, I can’t get a read on her. Someone brought up that she might be afraid to make the “wrong” choice … perhaps. I just don’t know.</p>
<p>(On the other hand my sophmore already has a list as long as her arm of her college choices.)</p>
<p>I don’t even know what I’m looking for with this post … maybe just venting I guess?</p>
<p>^ My S has his list down to four he is certain to apply to and four possibles. We have already visited the four certains and three of the possibles, with an early June 2013 trip in the planning stage to visit the remaining possible.</p>
<p>No, mine has pretty much no clue. My current college sophomore also had no clue at this stage, and also was very stressed out by the whole topic. They feel like this decision is (a) irreversible, and (b) more important than it really is. My S1 felt like he might ruin his life/career if he chose wrong. But there were tons of schools that could have been “right” for him. Same for S2. I think emphasizing that there are lots or right answers here is helpful to de-stress the situation. </p>
<p>Honestly, I picked the schools for S1 to visit spring of Junior year, and will do the same for S2. Because as you say, it’s important to start seeing some schools, and they had/have no clue. Try to find some places reasonably close to home for convenience that will let her see schools of different sizes, research versus liberal arts, techy versus more well-rounded (if tech is an option), city versus suburban versus rural, etc… Have her try to figure out what she likes/dislikes about the different schools. I chose places we had half a chance of affording (via merit or need-based aid) if he liked them and applied. </p>
<p>As you make the initial visits, she may be able to narrow down certain features that she likes or dislikes. Something they say in an info session may spark her interest. Someone she meets on campus may tell her something that gets her excited. </p>
<p>Some kids take the reins on this more than others. Some people suggested to me that my S1 not taking enough interest/initiative in the college planning process might mean he was not ready for college. That might be true for some kids but I felt it probably was not true for my S. He really was excited about college, but terrified about making the choice. My friend’s daughter showed similar apathy to the process, and decided to take a gap year, then re-applied to different schools with much more vigor after that experience. You know your child best, but think about whether she might want to take a gap year first. </p>
<p>I thought my son’s early apathy was going to make it hard to make the final choice, but in the end we visited (in some cases for the first time; others were re-visits) 4 schools where he had been given favorable scholarship / financial aid offers, and at the end of the trip, he had a clear choice, and we sent in the deposit. He just finished the first half of sophomore year and is happy and doing well there.</p>
<p>So… I guess this is an “it gets better” post Good luck!</p>
<p>mathmomvt … thank you for your post! It sounds as if our kids may be kindred spirits! Or at least a little bit similar in how they viewed college junior year! :)</p>
<p>I don’t think being “ready” for college is an issue … the one thing that is for certain w/ her is that she DOESN’T want to be close to home. She wants to go out an explore the world - she feels that because so many of her peers attend our state schools, that in that case, college would just be high school part deux. </p>
<p>She was fairly excited about Vandy - though, confidentially I don’t think she’d be a good fit w/ the females on campus. (My younger DD on the other hand would fit in swimmingly.)</p>
<p>I completely appreciate your “it gets better post” … it’s what I needed to hear right now!</p>
<p>I don’t think my DD really has any idea yet. We’ve seen four schools so far - Hofstra, Mt. Holyoke, Providence College and Northeastern. She liked Hofstra at first but after more thought and seeing others, she decided she didn’t like it anymore. She really liked Holyoke but isn’t sure about the all female aspect. I think we’ll definitely revisit it in the spring when students are on campus (saw it last summer) to see if it stays high on her list. I think it actually would be a good fit for her and hopefully she’d get some merit aid there. She liked both PC and Northeastern, but both had drawbacks. She’s not wild about PC’s Western Civ program but would be okay applying there and it would be a good safety. She basically liked Northeastern but didn’t get the feeling that the students there were very connected to each other - no one said “hi” to the tour guide as we were wandering around and she commented on that.</p>
<p>As far as future tours - we’ve got both February and April vacations to try to fit some in and I will be the one picking and scheduling. Unless February gets used to take her wisdom teeth out instead! She’ll look at schools I suggest online and see if she wants to go visit. Too much to do and too important to leave all the planning up to her! Plus I think it’s really overwhelming for them when they’re under so much pressure in school now!</p>
<p>KaKaMom, if YOU have no idea where to take her to visit, try starting a thread on the college search forum here with a rough description of her interests, personality, stats and your financial constraints, and folks there will be very helpful in suggesting potential schools for her. I found that approach very useful. There are a lot of very knowledgeable folks around here :)</p>
<p>My son has no idea at this point. He’s going to do some of the surveys on collegeboard and the other similar websites over Christmas break and see which schools come up as matches, etc. He LOVES Michigan Tech but they don’t have any of the majors he wants. He also hasn’t seen it in the winter when the snow is simply unbelievable. He saw the campus in the summer, before heading out on a Boy Scout backpacking trip and absolutely loved it. It doesn’t look like that at all most of the school year though!</p>
<p>D14’s last day of school before winter break! Hurray! I feel like I have barely seen her in the last couple of weeks. She goes to school, does her after-school activities, eats a quick dinner and then is holed up in her room until midnight doing homework. I miss her! Do any of you feel like you’re slowly getting a glimpse of life after graduation? The massacre last week made me feel so vulnerable. I just wanted to be with my kids. Tonight she’s doing a sleepover with friends so it will be another day before I get to “hang out” with her. </p>
<p>To all of you enjoying reunions with your college kids, have a wonderful time. i’m sure it’s a real blessing to have them under your roof.</p>
<p>For a number of reasons we moved S3’s study space downstairs to my office which is off the family room and has french doors. Initially it was because he was falling asleep at his desk. We’d check on him at 10:30pm or so and he’d have put his forehead on the desk to read his textbook on his lap and just like a baby he dozes off…no idea how long he’d been out. We’d wake him up and he’d swear he wasn’t asleep, bloodshot eyes, crease on his forehead from the desk and all. Finally, I gave up and moved him downstairs for a change of scenery. His body just wasn’t getting the message not to sleep in his room that late at night. He needed a separate space. It’s turned out very well as now I can actually see him and don’t feel like he’s so separated from us during long hours of hw. We can easily pop in and ask how he’s doing, get him a snack, etc. He’s not falling asleep anymore, although still the late, late hours. It concerns me with so little sleep, but his brother went through this as well Jr year. </p>
<p>We just got his spring EC schedule adding an additional 20hours/week…yes twenty…outside of school mandatory, on top of the 10 he was already doing. That’s just one activity. I am at a loss as to how he is going to sustain his schoolwork, let alone get any SAT studying done. Forget the SAT tutor I was looking into. I’m very discouraged.</p>
<p>2016Barnardmom - it’s funny, I’ve suggested the U of Mich specifically because of the snow! Lol! DD14 is a skier. </p>
<p>Blueiguana … 30 mandatory hrs per week!!! How is that going to be humanly possible? (FWIW, I just texted my husband your post … he’s been extremely concerned that our daughter is running herself ragged. Though it doesn’t change how he feels, I think he’s a bit comforted that there are other parents who feel the way he does.)</p>
<p>@KaKaMom: If D14 is thinking of U of Michigan to enjoy some skiing, she would be disappointed. No real skiing in southeastern Michigan, just some little hills. Now, Michigan Tech would be a different story! Downhill skiing right on campus, and tons of snow.</p>
<p>Okay, I just read my post again and from an objective eye (well as objective as one can be reading your own post) it could come off as ‘braggy’ in the sense that ‘oh, my kid has the most insane schedule’. I did NOT intend to come off that way. ALL of our kids are swamped. They are all involved in things that drag them this way and that, be it school ECs, varsity or club level sports, religious youth groups, volunteering within the community, jobs, taking care of younger siblings, and any number of other things that they devote themselves to. </p>
<p>My son is not unique in any way. I was taken back by seeing a new schedule and vented in a way that was just poorly expressed, and for that I apologize. There is absolutely no prize for the kid who gets the least sleep, it’s destructive in the long run, and frankly I’m frustrated that S3 hasn’t hit the gear where he can work smarter, not longer. Once his brother hit that he was much better off. I will not hesitate at any time to override this schedule if S3 is showing signs of hw not getting done until 3AM on more then one singular occasion, or is not properly prepared for a test. I’ve known this coach for six years, kept her children while she was in the hospital, even woken up with her pit bull staring me in the face. My S2 had opportunities beyond measure due to her help. I’ve earned my stripes a LONG time ago and we respect one another in a unique way. If I say S3 needs to stay home it would never be questioned.</p>
<p>We live rurally and maybe life is a bit less crazy here. The “major” ECs (Drama, Band, Chorus, Varsity sports) are about 15-20 hours per week. S2 is not involved in any of those and actually has a perfectly sane schedule. 30 hours/week really does seem over the top, particularly if that’s not just a temporary change. I’m glad to hear that you have enough “pull” with the coach to enforce some limits if needed.</p>
<p>@blueiguana … no need to clarify your post - in no way, shape or form did I take your post as “braggy” at all. </p>
<p>@mimama … I swear I know where Ann Arbor is. Promise! But every single time I THINK about U of MI I picture it in Grand Rapids. (Which probably has to do with DD15s close friend attending Calvin College.) I guess you could say, I’m confused in theory, but not in reality. (My husband would most likely disagree though.)</p>
<p>EC’s are crazy! DS doesnt have a single time eating EC, he has multiple EC’s that nibble at all his free time! </p>
<p>Is anyone doing in college visits over Christmas break? I would expect campuses to be closed, but received email from one school saying that it would be a good time to visit. </p>
<p>I also wonder about all the scholarships on some of those websites. Does anyone ever receive those? Is it worth the time to apply to those?</p>
<p>@beadymom … If I tried to schedule visits over this break, I think my DD would KILL me! lol! All she wants to do is sleep and hang out with her friends.</p>
<p>Welcome to vacation! DD14 slept almost 12 hours last night! I’m so glad she can do some catching up and relaxing! She went off after she woke up to bake cookies with 5 friends. Just what she needs to do today to chill out - although I’m glad it’s not my kitchen that will be the disaster area after they’re done! And she’ll have to spend a good part of her vacation working on study guides for January exams - they’re helpful but also required as part of the grades for most of her classes (sometimes they’re extra points but usually are included in the exam grade).</p>
<p>I managed to hire an SAT tutor who will start working with her on Saturday mornings And I finally got all of the Christmas cards out before the mail came! Now relaxing in front of the fire before planning menus for the next few days. And we may even get a bit of snow here Christmas Eve into Christmas morning!</p>
<p>Hope everyone has a chance to enjoy the holidays and look forward to the new year with kids who are a bit less stressed for the next week!</p>
Good luck!</p>
But every single time I THINK about U of MI I picture it in Grand Rapids. (Which probably has to do with DD15s close friend attending Calvin College.) I guess you could say, I’m confused in theory, but not in reality. (My husband would most likely disagree though.)</p>
And I finally got all of the Christmas cards out before the mail came! Now relaxing in front of the fire before planning menus for the next few days. And we may even get a bit of snow here Christmas Eve into Christmas morning!</p>