<p>@blueiguana, I will learn to get out of the way of parents rushing to the SAT/ACT test sites with printed ticket in hand. 
Also, thank you so much for the link to PreMatters college test requirement chart.</p>
<p>^ we need some sort of emergency light on the top of the car or somethingā¦rescuing irresponsible child, gettouttamyway!!! 
My GF had a hysterical fb post last year about getting a soccer jersey her DD had forgotten in the washer to the field while drying it with the heater vents on the way, momoftheyear!</p>
<p>FWIW, I was never one to take forgotten hw to school, that was an acceptable consequence they had to deal with. They knew not to even call me. The stakes on this one were pretty high so, yes I went to rescue him. It would have been nice had he caught me before I debuted the HK pjās and let me know heād taken care of it, but Iām not an exceptionally proud person so nbd.</p>
<p>To those of you who have kids in APUSH how much reading do you think they have a night. My S is slated to take it next year and he is a slow reader. I am worried about him taking this AP along with AP Lit and AP Physics.</p>
<p>@ Blue</p>
<p>I didnāt think you were making light of it at allā¦I can see myself doing that same thing should DD forget hers in the months to comeā¦ trust me, I do things for dd that she can do for herself all the timeā¦ but at least she knows(as your son knows) that these things are requirements/are important. Imagine if these kids to the testing site in November, not knowing what they needā¦ and they are turned away because they have no ID/no admission ticket/no pencils. Guess what? they donāt sit for the test on that day! Why? because no one has taught them that these things are needed.</p>
<p>Donāt keep giving the fishā¦ teach them HOW to fish.</p>
<p>DD needs an apron for workā¦ I am ALWAYS throwing it into the wash on the day she has to work! LOL NO, actually, hours before she worksā¦I know she is busy(far busier than I am) so I let these types of things slideā¦ she isnāt the kind of kid who sits around on twitter/tumblr wasting timeā¦ </p>
<p>I am also going to have to figure out where to balance my need to āhelpā in the college app process. I know she needs to have some ownership of the process. I have always been the administrative assistant and just given her the printed info so she can write her essays, fill in demographics. Not sure if I will continue that in the coming months. Does it matter that she prints required info on her own? Should I be keeping track of deadlines, test requirements and LORs? What will you folks do?/what have you done in the past?</p>
<p>I always figured if they are generally responsible I would help them out with forgotten stuff every once in a while. Imagine if the roles were reversed. We would certainly appreciate their helping hand.</p>
<p>I am sitting outside dsās counselorās office as I type, waiting for our individual college planning session.</p>
<p>Sent from my SCH-I510 using CC</p>
<p>I think the amount and style of helping our kids, is dependent in part on the kid and their abilities. One of my kids needed more support/reminders in their time mgmt and organization so I helped her create a system that she would be good at managing. S2 is pretty good about managing most of it, using IPhone apps for HW/Test dates etc. In general juniors need to take on managing these things so they will be successful in college. I personally wouldnāt do as much as printing out docs as that may inadvertently reinforce that theyāre doing the college app thing to please us. I do think they need to own it a bit.</p>
<p>I find myself allowing both DD and DS to slip backward in terms of household responsibilities this year. I see how incredibly stressed and busy they are, the hours of homework that they do, and I feel so badly for them that I keep trying to make their lives easier. This week, theyāre getting ready for trimester finals, and I feel like Iām practically tiptoeing around them, particularly DD, because their stress level is so high. I think I am more anxious for the end of this trimester than they are! Now Iām starting to wonder though - does that make me a helicopter parent?? Yikes!</p>
<p>Everyone has their own ālineā. What is āhelpingā and what is ādoingā. I know some parents are totally comfortable filling in the demographic data on applicationsā¦name, address, etc. Some info they may have to come to us anyway. Anything that isnāt ācreative brainpowerā and just filling in the blanks some are fine doing for their kids. Iāve gotten into discussions about this on cc before and this level of help is not my comfort zone. Everyone has to do what they think is best. Personally, I wonāt touch an application. I will do laundry, and ease up on chores so he has time to do things himself. Yes, while prepping for SATs and swamped w AP hw, S3 has gotten the light end of dinner dishes duty. His time is better spent elsewhere right now. The same was true for S2 who got a reprieve from several regular duties during application season. I can do those things to free up his time so he can be responsible for applications, essays, etc. </p>
<p>We did help with a master list of deadlines and help him set goals of when to complete each aspect. Weād ask how things were going so he wasnāt totally on his own, but we werenāt checking daily progress either. We absolutely did a single final review of each app before submission for clerical errors, not content. This was the first time I saw his essays. He worked with two different teachers at school once he got to a third draft (different essays). It worked well. Some people are great editors and work well on essays with their kids. I was too afraid of the urge to suggest changes that might alter his āvoiceā so I felt better backing away. </p>
<p>As others have said even kids within the same family can be more independent or need more admin assistance. I think S3 is going to fall towards needing the admin assistance. Thatās where a spreadsheet, big white dry erase board, and some sort of online calendar comes in handy.</p>
<p>Collegefortwins:
I feel exactly the same. I have to say, my kids are tired. They leave the house at 7 and get home at 7. They eat, study, go to sports and sleep (but not enough). There is constantly something to prepare for-finals, SATs, interviews, races. I canāt remember the last time my son just sat around and watched TV or even a movie.
Household responsibilities? Very few. Time to think, be creative? I donāt think so. Time to research colleges? This is a worry - because the lack of time is limiting the perceived choices.</p>
<p>As long as my kids study hard and are involved in their ECās and community service, I do not require them to help with household chores. Ideally, they should help but I donĀt want to add any more stress onto my high school junior. If DS has free time, I rather he go do something fun.</p>
<p>My roles: initial research to suggest schools we might want to visit or learn more about
Sās role: taking a look at my initial research and deciding where to visit
My role: booking hotels and planning a driving route
Sās role: giving me feedback about what he liked/disliked at each school
My role: writing it down before we forget
My role: reminding S how important his grades this year are
Sās role: earning the best grades he can
My role: suggesting a testing plan and offering tutoring, checking the test bag the night before
Sās role: figuring out how to prepare and doing his best on the tests
Sās role: (ultimately) deciding where to apply and doing all parts of the application
My role: proofreading any essays at Sās request, advising on any parts of the application heās unsure of
My role and his guidance counselorās role: finding/suggesting outside scholarships to apply for
Sās role: applying for scholarships
My role: all financial aid application steps
Sās role: (ultimately) signing promisory notes for any loans; forwarding to me any important emails about renewing financial aid for upcoming years</p>
<p>Obviously, roles will differ according to the needs of each child and each family, but this is what worked for S1 and seems to be working for S2.</p>
<p>nice to see the commonality among parents in letting household chores lighten up during those challenging times during junior year. I think this is a reasonable support to our kids that they appreciate and it feels good to show our love that way. but, sometimes I have to remind myself that during a ānormalā week, itās also ok to expect those simple chores to kick back in. itās a balancing act. my s is really good at studying, getting work done, over the weekend but also plans much fun/social stuff, so walking the dog wonāt be too challenging. ;)</p>
<p>@mathmomvt, I like your list of job descriptions!</p>
<p>Popping in after a busy day. Looks as if you all have been busy, too. </p>
<p>Welcome momofwon! Your DD still has a bit of time to prep for the next tests but regardless, there are many schools out there where she would be accepted with her current stats.</p>
<p>Barnardmom-- Hope your son is feeling better and does well tomorrow. The fever and exhaustion is going around here too, and Spyguy has been home from school for 3 days. Luckily heās only in middle school.</p>
<p>5boys ā Spygirl has APUSH and the first semester the homework load and reading was a lot. At least 2 hours a night and sheās a fast reader. She finally learned to skim and that helped a lot. APUSH doesnāt seem intellectually challenging but itās very time consuming.</p>
<p>Spygirl has been given a pass on most of her chores these days. The rest of the family has taken up the slack, but weāre okay with it. She leaves at 6:30 a.m. and with very late practice times for her spring sport, some nights she arrives home at 9:30. Itās nuts.</p>
<p>Iām new to this thread and Iām glad I found it. </p>
<p>5boys-My daughter is also taking APUSH this year and I would say she at least read 1 hour a night. She takes notes wjile reading. If she has a test, she spends at least 3 hours studying. But sheās a fast reader as well.</p>
<p>@2018dad Welcome to our wonderful corner of CC. We are a lively, sometimes rowdy bunch(Ok, maybe I am speaking for myself LOL). </p>
<p>Is anyone else beginning to feel a little sad? We are getting down to the wire. I ran into an old friend at the grocery store and she asked āHow is your daughter now? 11/12?ā My response wasā¦ āI wishā :(</p>
<p>Welcome 2018Dad!</p>
<p>NewHaven, I have a 9 year old so that helps. By the time we are sending her to college we will be completely exhausted so it should be easier to face the empty nestā¦ weāll need the break.</p>
<p>@blueigauna- Love that PDF you linked! Thanks!</p>
<p>
I think they do a chapter a week at my sonās school. They had to read some chapters over the summer. They seem to do a chapter a week though, with a test on every chapter. There is additional homework to the reading. </p>
<p>Iām happy to report my sonās fever was gone this morning. His temp was 97. Heās actually at his dadās this week but weāve been in touch. He said he was surprised the doctor had said bronchitis because he wasnāt coughing. Today, he is coughing. Sometimes it is worse if they arenāt coughing because things are just building up in there. He was definitely feeling better today.</p>
<p>He lucked out and they had a snow day today (even though in my part of the Detroit area, we only had an inch of slush, really). First hour finals will be tomorrow and he doesnāt have a final in first hour, so he doesnāt have to go if he doesnāt feel up to it. </p>
<p>He was signed up to help judge the elementary and middle school science fair tomorrow but that was postponed until Friday. So, he has another day to cough and rest and let the meds work. Friday heāll have two finals and the science fair judging and then he can recuperate more at home before 4th & 5th hour finals Monday. ACT on Tuesday. The rest of the Michigan Merit Exam (standardized tests) on Wed and Thurs. Phew. </p>
<p>Then third trimester!</p>
<p>Thanks to all the welcome.</p>
<p>@NewHavenCTmom
I know what you mean feeling a little bit sad. D went to a retreat during Presidentās Day weekend and we got a taste of whatās coming when she goes away for college.</p>