<p>It would feel weird to me to start school before Labor Day! I grew up in NJ, so it was always like this for me, as well as the late June (sometime in the “twentieths”) ending. I totally forgot about the summer work… yes, the kids had major “packets” to do, where they had to learn the stuff on their own. It really bothered me. And my DS13’s physics teacher is apparently a horrible teacher who doesn’t really understand physics… my son was cramming tonight for a test and I’m not sure how it’s going to go. He was actually attempting to learn new material… Not good… A warning to you all for next year at this time - SENIORITIS!! But he still has 6 AP’s to take!!</p>
<p>Thanks so much for the kudos to my son and his ethics. I AM very proud of him! </p>
<p>Eyemamom - oh, I wasn’t an engineer at VT Hubby was though. My guys all want smaller schools. If they were into engineering we could have convinced them that a larger school would be better (because around here, VT and Penn State are almost required for engineers to get first jobs). With their interests, we couldn’t. We did try with oldest, then gave up figuring it was their lives, not ours. It’s still tough for us to consider some of those really small place (like oldest chose) as “colleges” having come from a large school. U Roc qualifies though. ;)</p>
<p>I changed my major at VT. There was no problem at all. There is a problem when trying to switch IN to engineering or architecture. I haven’t seen any problems with other changes. I went from Computer Science to Physics (then added Psychology my senior year - already had some classes in it…). This all was a couple of moons ago, so they potentially could have changed some since then, but I kind of doubt it.</p>
<p>As for dates for school. I grew up in NY, so started after Labor Day and went until near the end of June. We had students who had to leave for military academy summer stuff before our graduation. I much prefer PA where we start before Labor Day and get out the beginning of June. I wouldn’t mind getting out at Memorial Day actually.</p>
<p>itsraininghere – I have a son your age, and you definitely have a right to privacy and to have a place where you can voice your own thoughts, unedited, without fear that some adult will read them. If my child had a diary, I would not read it. </p>
<p>However, my son often borrows my laptop to do homework on (his died a few months ago). When I take it back, his Facebook page and gmail are often both open. I admit, I have browsed the party pics for a few seconds, but then I close out of it. </p>
<p>The only caveat is if your mother had a genuine concern that you were indulging in risky behavior, and she wanted to be aware of what was going on, or if you and she were not communicating well and she felt desperate to get information any way possible.</p>
<p>But in general, I would have to say no, your mother has no right to read your diary.</p>
<p>Go2mom, that’s a TV show I may watch… As to APexams I can’t imagine a school rescinding admission due to not taking the test. Many are looking for the most challenging curriculum do I would think taking the class may be key but they don’t care about the exam so much…lots of kids take it, get credit, and re-take classes they didn’t have to anyway esp chem, physics and that sort.
Blue described our county’s way of dealing with tests too. I know 20% of the final grade is the exam in most classes. Some of them are kind and do finals right after AP tests so the kids cram once. Then they have other stuff-papers, projects, presentations, reading assignmments- due afterward. My D’s AP Lang class actually had them start writing college essays last year. Brilliant! Not that it carried on over the summer.
Creek, creek, creek… I was like you in reverse. There would be no VA tech talk for this UVA grad- until my step- s began looking at schools. We did Virginia and VT. I didn’t plan to like Tech- it just seemed wrong!- but you know, I loved it- and so did he. Of course there was a special happy place in me when D got into, nc chose, UVA, but I won’t knock Tech. I will however cheer for UVA against them in all sporting events. Oldest child finds that fun anyway. A wee rivalry never hurt anyone. Mind you, it need not turn into a rivalry like currently taking place in the Koreas…
Eye (my iPad really can’t handle your name!) would you be willing to share the safety?we used JMU for D (and U-Del but $ were a factor) but S14 isn’t seeing those as ‘safe’. ODU is his current safety. Maybe IUP since they give a tuition break to VA kids. Looking for ideas here- ha, aren’t we all though I guess. There won’t be 15 applications leaving our computer, but I’d like 6. We are sort of at 5 now- ODU, JMU, Tech (reach) (see How open-minded I’m being Creek? ), probably george Mason, and perhaps IUP which we need to see yet. Looking for #6.
ProfDad. Just wow. Super congrats to you. Testing was so stressful here- D had straight As and huge numbers of AP classes and pretty low- relatively- SAT scores for months. She ended up taking the November test with hopes of gaining points and mercifully did well enough that I was reasonably sure she’d get into her #1. it would be lovely to have a great first run with S14. He’s not taking it until May though. He doesn’t need subject tests which is nice.
It’s raining. I’m sorry. I think reading your diary was wrong too but it’s hard being mom. We worry about you guys in a way you won’t begin to understand until you’re a parent. We love you in ways you won’t begin to fathom until then, too. Hang in there- and find a better hiding place! But if there are dangerous things happening in your world, reconsider your choices? Stay safe. We want you here posting about your acceptances and excitement next year. :D</p>
<p>Raining - My DD keeps a diary and she leaves it out so I see it when I go into her room to clean up or put laundry away. She is only 13 but I respect her privacy and don’t read it (although I am definitely tempted!). I might feel differently if I thought there were serious issues with drugs, alcohol, depression, etc. </p>
<p>DS is the one who is class of 2014 and he does not keep a diary or journal but same thing would apply if he did.</p>
<p>DD14 just quit her two day a week job at Kumon … with our blessing. Sigh.</p>
<p>She had been going to school (leaving at 7am), going to work and then going directly to Mock Trial practice and not coming home til 9:30pm. That’s a crazy schedule … even if only two days a week. I really don’t know how she’s kept her great grades.</p>
<p>She’ll pick up two or three piano students which will keep her gas tank full … hopefully, she’ll be less stressed out.</p>
<p>KaMaMom, these poor kids are so stressed. Junior year is a tough one; there is so much riding on it, and they legitimately want to have some down time and actually sleep sometimes too… I’m finding that apparently senior year is not much better. I hope your D is a much less stressed kiddo.</p>
<p>I would not nor have I read my kids diaries/email etc.
That said we have some internet protection as part of the family rules and if a virus checker or something came up, then the house rule is computers are parental/family property.</p>
<p>IF there is something in your life/behavior that made your parents wary/nervous- perhaps that is why that happened…she/they were checking to be sure you are being safe and making decisions to ensure your safety. It could also have nothing to do with your behavior, and maybe something she heard about going on in the community.</p>
<p>Boundaries are important and if you are not doing harm to yourself or others, then certainly you don’t have to discuss your diary/thoughts/feelings.
otoh
Your mom/parents might be trying to build a bridge of communication so that you have a safe place to share/air your feelings/discuss issues. Parents want whats best for their teens–to be safe, healthy and to be the best they can be (not all the same–rather who their teen was created to be)</p>
<p>Take a deep breath. Consider if the action was motivated by love/concern. Clearly state your feelings and your boundaries.</p>
<p>Also, we parents do make mistakes…sometimes in our efforts to love well, sometimes out of our fears to protect our precious teens. You might have to say to your parents you understand their worries–however they crossed a line.</p>
<p>89wahoo - aww, if any of my guys had actually wanted to consider UVA, we’d have caved. We didn’t even make them consider VT (though they have visited it). Their life really is theirs as far as we are concerned - even if they defect to the rival. (As a side note, if you really are an '89 Wahoo we were in opposite colleges at the exact same time. )</p>
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<p>I’m just going to agree with the above. We allow our kids their personal space and I remember what life was like when I went through the teen years too, but honestly, your mom loves you even if it doesn’t seem like it. There’s so much “bad” out there that she wants you to avoid… I hope you can sense that part. If you can’t now, you will be able to in 25 years or so if/when you’re a parent of a teen. My parents got a whole lot smarter shortly after my oldest was born… Please don’t make it a big issue as there’s so little time you’ll really have together at this point. However, it can be best to keep your journal elsewhere for now. It may not be ideal, but it’s also not the end of the world. It could, conceivably, end up a time where you can get close to your mom. Just a thought.</p>
<p>Made a college visit with DS’14 yesterday. He wanted to visit the state flagship (safety). He was a little cool to it going in, but absolutely loved it. Afterward he said that he would cut his college list in half now. He mentioned that he “did not want to accumulate any debt before grad school.” I wondered who was this alien who had taken over my kid’s body! The school is strong in the areas of his interest, so I guess that makes some sense. (It didn’t hurt that the weather was 85 degrees with blue skies.) The presenter mentioned that the school only looks at the first 6 semesters of h.s. grades - that had an impact. It just goes to show how a teenagers outlook on colleges can change within just a few months, so it is good to keep options open. It feels very comforting as a parent to know that our DS is very happy with his safety.</p>
<p>89wahoo - the name of the school is Christopher Newport. It’s in Newport News, roughly 5k students, capped class sizes at 19. Tons of sports and school spirit, kids live on campus first 3 years. Beautiful campus. Even a prof came over to talk to us when we were in the library hanging out at Einstein’s. </p>
<p>Here’s what we’re grappling with… after seeing all these great schools and taking her all over half the world… she tells me Christopher Newport just felt like home. And I’m thinking… really? Your safety? Are you really supposed to love your safety that much?</p>
<p>Has anyone heard of it outside the Va Beach/Norfolk area? Does is matter? </p>
<p>So I realize kids change A LOT between jr and senior year - so we’ll apply, see where she gets in and re-visit next spring. She’s gone to tiny schools her entire life 45 kids in her grade through 9th, now she’s at a school with 150. So 5k is a lot to her, 20k is overwhelming large. But if you want the spirit, things always going on, lots of opportunities - state schools are really where to find all that. Plus - she has to be able to get in. </p>
<p>And I recognize that loving your safety is the best case scenario, not my worst.</p>
<p>eyemamom – if she really loves her safety, she doesn’t “have to” play the whole reach game. It can make for a waaaaay less stressful senior year!</p>
<p>Well, I can tell you that we here in Northern Virginia have heard of CNU! I know several kids that are there now and they seem happy and content. Isn’t that what we all want for our kids? </p>
<p>Well clearly I have trouble taking yes for an answer - lol. I asked d tonight after all the visits what did she think - and that was her favorite. I just turned to hubby - could it actually be this easy this time? </p>
<p>I still think we apply to the other schools just in case she changes her mind. </p>
<p>It was so stressful the first time around, it’s like I’m just trying to make trouble for myself to compensate. </p>
<p>KaMamom - your d will probably be tremendously relieved to lighten her load!</p>
<p>Yup. They can indeed love their safety that much- and yup again, we have indeed heard of CnU here. Interesting. S didn’t dislike it or love it. Sort of so-so about it. Did you see lots of kids? That worried S but we had the late session so maybe the kids were done with classes but not yet looking for dinner. Beautiful campus for sure. I know several kids who love it there.
If you’ve found a safety you’re golden. If it’s a beloved #1 choice and a safety, you’re going to enjoy the next year! I’m jealous. But, S loved ODU enough that we did have the talk- “You do realize if you love a school, it can be your top choice even if it’s a safety.”. This seemed to surprise him. We looked at both schools last week.</p>
<p>Ok so I’m reading backwards. Glido, love that he found a school, and love the maturity to avoid u-grad debt if possible…
Creek. Yup, a real 89 wahoo. Too funny! Also, so true about how brilliant your parents become right as your first kid arrives. :)</p>
<p>89 - we did the 10 o’clock info session, then tour. We were there a little early and we were shocked to see so many kids out and about at 9am. My sons school doesn’t even have their first classes til 9:30. There were TONS of kids outside. Sitting in the grass, walking around, kids coming up and hugging the tour guides. </p>
<p>It’s funny how kids can walk away with such different opinions of schools. Which I imagine if everyone wanted the same thing every school would be identical. The biggest shock was always when I thought they would love something, they hated it. When I thought it might not be their cup of tea they had a great feeling about it. </p>
<p>I didn’t love the school either. But I have to temper that with if it matters if “I” love it. I had the same conversation, it’s okay to have your top choice be your safety! But I don’t want her to limit her options yet. But it sure takes the pressure off the ACT next weekend. She could get in without needing to submit scores, they have a policy that over a 3.5 can be test optional.</p>
<p>eyemamom – I can feel your relief – what a great outcome of your trip.</p>
<p>I remember feeling that way when we drove through Furman – a school he likes that he could actually get into. His thoughts have changed a little as we’ve seen other schools, but it’s important that they really like their school going in. There will be so many surprises about what the school is really like when all the excitement wears off – better to start out in love than just in like.</p>
<p>I feel like the guest at the party who didn’t see the movie everyone’s talking about – we did no tours during Spring break because of baseball – but I love hearing the stories. </p>
<p>One of S’s teammates grandparents died recently. Coach canceled practice and strongly encouraged all the boys to attend the service. Good show of support.</p>
<p>Eye- thanks for that last post. Interesting how different it was a few hours apart… May just keep on the list and see what happens in the spring. I figured there had to be kids there somewhere! ;)</p>
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Hubby was though. My guys all want smaller schools. If they were into engineering we could have convinced them that a larger school would be better (because around here, VT and Penn State are almost required for engineers to get first jobs). With their interests, we couldn’t. We did try with oldest, then gave up figuring it was their lives, not ours. It’s still tough for us to consider some of those really small place (like oldest chose) as “colleges” having come from a large school. U Roc qualifies though. ;)</p>
I hope your D is a much less stressed kiddo.</p>
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