@eandesmom @mdcmom Finally, a subject I can speak to! Almost every coach we spoke to said their money dries up early so it was in our best interest to sign early. Not being of the temperament to “wait and see”, we took their advice and our daughter accepted a scholarship offer during that early period. As I watch the track signings, very few D1 signees have been added since that early period to the list on Milesplit. That being said, there must be money in reserve because coach told our daughter that if she improves her marks, etc. she can get more money before school even starts in the fall. So YAY!
I’m trying to figure out how best to word this, my son has narrowed down his choices to three UC Santa Cruz, UofO, and CU Boulder. He will be visiting Boulder in two weeks so no really decision till after he goes.
I am in frustrating situation where UC Santa Cruz is really the cheapest option by a LOT, although we can pay for the other two it’s hard to justify this amount when I think their CS programs are all about equal… I’m honestly rank the CS departments CU Boulder, UCSC and then UofO. But on national rankings they are all about equal.
The reason he hasn’t just settled on UCSC are a few. Number one is he has always wanted Marching Band. It’s the big thing that UCSC doesn’t have. Another is because my mother (who’s offering $$) and my husband say we can swing the full cost at the other two schools if it’s where he really wants to go. It’s OOS State school cost vs. full cost a private university but I could find other ways to spend that $$. I am having a hard time justifying the OOS fee’s.
BUT there are other considerations. UC Santa Cruz is a CA state school which despite their reputation does have some downsides. The schools are over-enrolled and they have been adding more students without adding faculty so even upper division classes are often large, and getting the classes you want/need can sometimes be tricky and you end taking fore than 4 years. He would probably get stuck in a triple room, which I’m not sure is going to be a great situation for my introverted, quiet kid.
Basically I would spend the extra money if I really felt the he was at the right fit school. That he will makes friends, be emotionally healthy, and be able to do well in his classes. But I don’t have a crystal ball, I can’t tell. It’s very hard to tell where he will be in a years time. If marching band is really going to make college a better experience for him, then I’d like him to do it. But honestly I’m a bit sckeptical. I knew going in that in his situation we weren’t going to find much merit unless he tried for an entirely different type of school. We were shooting for higher ranked schools that were likely to give him merit.
Add to this that I would love my kid to have skin in the game. But except for hopefully have a summer job that pays I’m not sure what to do. I really don’t want him to have to take loans. (One idea I’ve seen if for us to loan him $$.) And IF he does marching band, I WILL not expect him to work during school. My son has very slow processing & low working memory issues. Super bright but homework can take him a long time. And at least the first year having him working while in school seem like a recipe for failure.
In the end it’s not my decision alone to make. But I’ve feeling really strongly like saying. Just take the UCSC option, and I’m being told by others such as my husband to take a big step back.
@curiositycat333 I understand your dilemma. Our D chose a LAC that is about $15,000 more than our flagship (and that’s only b/c she got $23,000 merit aid or the difference would have been even greater). I always wanted to pay 100% of undergrad but we felt if she was going to choose to spend an extra $60,000 over 4 years to attend the LAC, she needed to have some skin in the game. So we said we’d split the difference with her, which means she has to come up w/ $7,500 a year. She has some savings from jobs and some savings bonds from her grandma, but she will have to take out some loans. We may repay those loans after she graduates, but we’re not telling her that at this time.
@jumpermom We’re not looking for a scholarship, just a spot 
. DS is in that borderline place where’s he’s fast enough for attention from small schools but not quite fast enough for scholarships from the big schools, but he’s absolutely determined to run at a place that (in his mind) will push him to be faster. So, he’d rather go to a bigger school and try to be a walk on for that team than to a smaller school that will guarantee a spot. Still, I want to be sure that he has communicated clearly to the coach about his chances; he’s feeling very good because they paid his expenses for three days rather than one, but without having that clear conversation, I fear he might be reading more into that than is wise.
@stlarenas - CoyoteSon has anxiety issues, related to ADHD and missing social cues (basically, he’s got Aspie tendencies). Maybe our approach will help you and your D, though it certainly increases the cost. So far, I’ve gone with CoyoteSon to every school - I’m sitting in a hotel room right now - while he stays overnight in the dorm.
I think it has helped him to know that I’m close by - though this is our third overnight visit - and I think he’s getting more comfortable - no texts at all this trip. It also helps me get a feel for the school, though now that we’re in “accepted student” visit land, I’m trying harder to keep my judgment to myself.
Anyway, given that your D is contemplating spending 4 years at the school, I personally think the overnight visit helps to see the informal social atmosphere in the dorm, plus we’ve made sure CoyoteSon sits in on a class. Has helped rule schools both in and out.
Anyway, if it is the “sleeping with a stranger” that is causing trouble - have her sign up for the overnight, eat dinner and hang out with host in dorm - and then pick her up to let her stay in the hotel room with you - she’ll definitely get better sleep - even with a sleeping mat, “sleeping” on the floor is an oxymoron. This way, she’ll get the hangout time, but also get some sleep. You can bring her back in the morning for breakfast/sitting in on a class. Just a thought on how to overcome the anxiety…
@tacocat333 – congrats (sort of) on tacoson being wait listed at William & Mary. Does he plan to stay on the wait list?
@curiositycat333 – sorry to hear of your dilemma 
The cost differences are definitely worthy of consideration. Does UCSC have a pep band? My son has loved being a member of his HS marching band, so I feel your son’s pain. In some of the pep band videos I’ve viewed the students appear to be having a blast & I’m encouraging S17 to also consider joining pep band in college. Has your Son visited all 3 colleges? I would suggest that you plan (another) visit to UCSC before/after the visit to the OOS colleges so the vibe of each is fresh. Good luck!!
@kt1969 - you are my hero - Congrats on getting Goucher to meet your other offers with more merit!
@rienrah + @93pilots - yes - I really, really like Beloit - I think it is likely his best fit, especially if he decides he feels comfortable when “usually, though of course not always” one of the smartest students in the room. He will stand out, and hopefully his professors will love him and offer him research opportunities - and hopefully the other students will tolerate his quirks. Especially now sitting here in Huntingdon for Juniata - I think Beloit is better! Plus - ha ha - CoyoteSon is not big on school T-shirts (he prefers science or history or gaming puns on his shirts) but I already bought myself turtle earrings from the shop in their anthropology museum!
I think it’s a great spot for him, though I have high hopes that Carleton has a similar social (nice kids + many science/nerdy kids) - and yet, if he’s comfortable - I think he will be pushed to work harder and make himself into a stronger/more hard working version of himself. He will have to decide! Thanks to everyone for sharing in his good news - aside from CC friends like you, I expect most people in real life to go “Carleton - huh never heard of it - How’d he do at UVA?”
CoyoteSon was also accepted to Brandeis today! Yay! Plus, got an email from William and Mary offering only the wait list. Love TacoSon’s idea - we’ll claim 8.5/9 acceptances. Will find out one more tomorrow and one Saturday, leaving the last one as late as March 31. @jmek15 - right with you on the hard-to-wait til the bitter end for these last decisions!
@techmom99 - you + your hubby are heros too - Congrats on getting your very ethnice Jewish-Iris boy on the paid-for diversity accepted students visit!
@snoozn - fingers crossed for RIT to cough up that $1k extra each year: $4,000 is likely more money than your D could earn in a summer, even with a great engineering summer job!
@CoyoteMom, even here in Wisconsin, many people don’t know about Carleton. My younger daughter attended anyway (and her cousin was at St. Olaf at the same time). Both are great schools, as is Beloit.
@MomStudent2017 No USSC doesn’t have a pep band. The school vibe is it’s more about academics. Does’t have a football team. It only has "NCAA Division III athletic teams in men’s/women’s basketball, cross-country, soccer, swimming/diving, tennis, track and field, and volleyball; and women’s golf. " I guess you could have a pep band for the basketball team. Davis has a marching band & no football team. Not quite sure what they do…
It does have a good music program, and a concert band he could join. But honestly in other ways it’s a great fit. He really wants a school where he can just walk into nature. Don’t know of any other school that backs up to a redwood forest in a state park. And I think the residential ‘college’ system (modeled after the UK system) they have there will help make it easier to make friends. But hearing that most of the dorms were turned into triples.
He won’t go visit again. It would be possible. He is going to Boulder where he hasn’t seen yet. But he doesn’t feel he needs that information to make a decision.
@rosered55 I didn’t know about Carleton, St. Olaf or Beloit till reading this board. Although my D12 did apply and get into Carroll College and we did go out to in late January of her senior year. There was a light dusting of snow and it was very pretty. It was around #3 on her list.
@mdcmom if he is ok taking the risk of being a walk on, and they have communicated that they intend to keep some walk on spots available, and he wants the school regardless of the risk then I would go for it. I think the tough part is quantifying that risk. If he can’t run at all but it’s at the dream school, will he be ok with that?
Some schools definitely hold back walk on spots, in many sports. Others do not. I’d likely ask the coach about his chances (well have him of course, coached definitely don’t want to talk to the parent.
@tacocat333 I love it. 2 at 0.5 = 1 acceptance. I agree, the waitlist makes you feel it was an appropriate reach.
@CoyoteMom overnights seem like a fabulous idea in your case, I am filing that away for S19 who has Aspie tendencies.
@curiositycat333 have you compared the graduation statistics for the 3 schools? If the UCSC takes 5, how does the overall cost then compare if the other two take 2?
I feel your pain and questioning…our delta is more than 15k, closer to 20. To be fair, the in state option is really cheap (in the world of college tuition of course, 22k is still 22k!) and well under budget so that’s not as awful as it sounds but…
My older daughter went to a university that I hadn’t heard of before she applied. She loved it, and I’m so glad she did her research to find a good school for herself.
@curiositycat333 delurking here to say we’re in exactly the same boat with my DS. He also didn’t get into Santa Barbara. He applied to Santa Cruz at my insistence since he decided to forgo all cal states. We’re so glad he did as the UCs were impossible this year. Ironically, Ds seems pretty happy with the idea of going to SC, I’m the one who is struggling with the dearth of sports. He got into U of O and Boulder as well and U of O was his second choice for the sports teams but with OOS fees it just doesn’t make financial sense.
@curiositycat333 I feel for you! The details are different, but I am also in a situation where I’m facing the possibility of paying around $60K more over the four years for an OOS public that doesn’t offer an apparent advantage over the cheapest option (in-state flagship). I could swing it, but it limits what I can offer for study abroad, if she needs an extra semester, or to help with postgrad launch. She’s not totally hung up the more expensive option, and is actually demonstrating a lot of maturity right now–she is eager to go visit the in-state school (so I sure hope they put on a good show for accepted students day!). She’s also going to do overnights at two small LACs (the price of which falls between the cheapest and the most expensive options). As much as I’d like this to be done, I don’t see her making her decision until these visits are completed, which won’t happen until mid-late April.
@curiositycat333 Best of luck to you and your son in making this tough decision. The bottom line is that he has three really nice options and that’s a good place to be in. My D just found out that UCSC is offering her $$, so it is back in the running. We are going to receptions for both schools here in NY and will be visiting both during spring break as well.
I suffer both from Prestige Guilt and Slot Hoarding, as we are currently sitting on a number of acceptances to very nice LACs that I can’t see as financially feasible, even if they offer a lot more aid. Yet I can’t quite get to the point of hitting “decline” yet.
@curiositycat333 We know a bright kid who transferred from U-Colorado after a year, because he did not care for the party atmosphere in the engineering dorm. He now has a lot of debt for that one year.
Just one data point, and students adjust differently to dorm life… but, I think an overnight (on a Thursday if possible) at the schools under consideration is money well spent.
@CoyoteMom – I have to say that I had to look up Carlton, but then again S17 is my first and we haven’t been looking at LACs. So, having looked, Carlton looks great!!! Congratulations!
@curiositycat333 --We are in similar situations with wild cost differences for us. All of the schools for S17 are OOS, and the selectivity and costs for us vary ALOT. We can make any of them work (with some real pain), but are the full-pay selective schools really worth the hefty price tag? My thoughts are similar to yours–it’s just so hard to tell where S17 will thrive, and that’s what I want for him.
@rosered55 --great news for your older daughter and that’s such a good success story. There are so many great schools out there. Unfortunately, my boys . . . not likely to do the research.
Can any of you help with the UC schools (S17 has UCSB and UC Davis) as far as getting classes, graduation length of time, etc.? Particularly interested in engineering. S17 was not offered any scholarships there, so he won’t have the “early registration” benefit. Any other color?
@Hankster1361 I don’t envy you that decision, it’s a tough one. My D might have had to make that decision had she been accepted at UCSB. She was disappointed about the rejection but had actually been thinking that Davis was a better fit for her and although I like the location of UCSB better, the more laid back environment of Davis is really more like my D. I had been a little worried about the party rep at UCSB after having seen videos of beach parties and what takes place at Isla Vista. If she goes to Davis, now my biggest fear is that she’ll be hit by a bicycle or come home smelling of cow…lol