Parents of the HS Class of 2017 - 3.0 to 3.4 GPA

Parents Forum
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@eandesmom Aww, you’re such a sweetie! What would we do without you and your ability to bring this group together!

Thanks to everyone for all the kind words on my daughter’s struggles. It really is nice to have a place to come and share/vent in such a supportive environment.

@mdcmom I’m so sorry to hear your daughter is struggling at Cornell. Having some experience with these issues, I recommend you make getting her help a priority and if that means putting Cornell on hold or even having her come home, that’s ok! A good therapist is key. Has she gone to any counseling services at her school? Is she a Junior? I don’t know their policies but it’s possible they could give her some kind of medical leave.

It may take awhile to find a good therapist. I think we tried about 4 before we decided on a Psychiatrist that focused on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and could prescribe meds if needed (not primary goal though.) Once we found the right doctor, it made a significant difference. Depression is very serious and it’s important she addresses it, becomes more self aware, learns coping skills and is able to ask for help and reach out when she needs it. My heart goes out to you.

@rbc1999 @Hankster1361 My daughter is using the Princeton Review book, but honestly, she only opened it this week and IMO it’s a bit too late. Would have made more sense for her to open it in the fall. At this point, your kids could probably go online for practice questions at Khan Academy or something.

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@klinska congrats! It’s good your D found her place. You can always take a weekend trip up to Burlington when the weather is nice for fun :slight_smile: I always thought my son would end up there too, but he did not. So we’ll have to live vicariously through @eandesmom 's son .

I’ll have to read up on Dennison to see what it’s all about. I’ve enjoyed reading this thread because so many of you have looked far and wide into a variety of schools., some I was familiar with, some not. I try to look up info on every school I am not too familiar with. It’s been fun.

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@Brunoandbeansmom --I understand your son’s situation, as my S17 has similar regrets. S17 has (relatively) low grades from early high school, largely but not entirely for not turning in homework, and then very good grades the last 2 years. He admits he just couldn’t connect how his actions then would affect his future options despite being told (executive function issue much?). He’s doing very well in the hardest course load his senior year, and is seeing many of his friends in those hard classes trying to decide which of their elite Ivy and Ivy-equivalent admissions offers they are going to accept. S17 sees himself as their academic equivalent, and looks/sounds defeated when he mentions the fabulous choices those students have. He has some very good admissions options though, as does your son. My S17 understands he is where he is, and is trying to decide based on which of his options is the place he thinks he is most likely to be successful/happy. But if S17 wanted to go the CC route and transfer, we would support that, but I would want to make sure he had thought it all out and had a plan. What @eandesmom asked about how your son will feel about being at CC, however, would probably be a problem for my S17 at some level, but we’re not in a state where it’s a common path with fabulous CC options like those that exist in some states.

Thanks all for the AP studying advice. The good news is that students at S17’s school do very well on the AP exams, so hopefully he’ll follow suit (fingers crossed!).

I second what @RightCoaster said-- This is a great group, and so many great schools have been brought to light that I will be looking into for S19. Yep, I’ll be on that thread soon with some of you!

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Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful responses.

S seems to like both choices. I think he’s leaning towards ucsc simply bc he likes the campus, location, and weather. UPS is in the running still bc of its sports and closeness to snow. We did visit UPS during admitted students day and though he’s not in love with the campus (?!) he sat in on a class and saw much to like.

He hasn’t mentioned CC since I kind of took the choice away from him. I insisted he try a four-year and then transfer if he likes. I know we have some great CCs nearby and I know he could be successful. I’m a little worried about impacted classes and such but to me, it’s more about his socioemotional development than anything else.

The thing is, I guess I’m feeling a little guilty for taking the choice away from him. I strongly believe this is his journey, and am trying to advise him but not make decisions for him. So I’m wondering if I should reopen the conversation.

I do think a lot of his initial motivations had to do with keeping up with his peers and also with his own fears about leaving home. We visited both schools, we toured the cities and I was able to procure him a parking permit at Santa Cruz so he can take his car. I think that was a huge help. Now he can drive home or tour the surrounding cities.

The thing is, he’s not a super-competitive kid. So I’m not sure that the big-name schools would be a big fit for him. If anything, it would be like high school all over again. I do think he’s ended up at two good fits for him, though neither is perfect (weather/sports) but there are a ton of possibilities and opportunities at both schools.

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Also, I’ve mentioned that U of A takes applications until May 1st and has a strong business programs. I’ve also mentioned the NASCA? NASC?list that comes out in May but he doesn’t want to trouble his counselor and he’s over the process, I think.

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@klinska I will definitely let you know when I plan to be up there! That would be so much fun.

@RightCoaster it’s kind of funny S is the only one who ended up at UVM after all that lol. He is clearly finding his tribe on the FB page though, which is wonderful.

@Brunoandbeansmom what did he not like about the campus at UPS? We think it’s so pretty!!!

I think he has two lovely options and without a compelling reason to revisit (NASAC) or look at UA I’d personally be inclined to leave well enough alone. The best thing you can do is let him know you are open to listening to what he thinks is best for him and that ultimately, it is his decision (if you really mean that). We’ve heard a lot (at admitted student events) about how this is the time for kids to be selfish and think about what they want. And I think that’s very true. But I also think it’s true that kids have emotional responses in the moment that may or may not be how they “really” feel once they step outside of that moment. My S had major regret about not applying to our flagship as he saw his friends get in. And yet it is absolutely the wrong school for him, even if he had gotten in. He knows that, but it didn’t stop the (momentary) regret. Perfectly normal.

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Well, we’re back from Carleton, and I guess my Mom radar is still in working order - CoyoteSon told me at lunch in the dining hall that “the bad news is that I can’t decide if Carleton or Beloit is better”. I will have to help him dig deeper to do a side by side comparison, but the truth is that I think both schools are a good fit, but for different reasons. :-??

But I had a blast at Carleton - I loved the student center with a big open space next to a snack bar/coffee shop, and a couple of pool tables upstairs on the balcony. The welcome dinner food was great - and we were seated as if at a wedding reception - round tables - with a professor at each table of accepted students and parents. At the end of dinner, a brief speech from the Prez plus 2 acapella groups and a soloist on a Chinese instrument (I missed the name of the instrument, but sounded like a cross between a guitar and a violin). The live performance of this song was my favorite, capturing the sci/fi nerdy Carleton spirit which makes it a good fit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk5_OSsawz4

CoyoteSon enjoyed the classes, especially the challenging history class, and while his host was busy with homework, CoyoteSon took his directions and went across campus to a big game room, again with pool tables and foozball, and yes, a big video game set up - so CoyoteSon happily played SuperSmash Bros til about midnight. I noticed that there were whole shelves full of board games in the student center, the library, and the famous Cookie House (where CoyoteSon and I sampled warm cookies together on Thursday, and I met up with the fellow CCer who gave me about half a dozen warm Monster Cookies to share with CoyoteSon (though I certainly ate my share) - Yum!

The admitted student day, with various panels, professor’s office hours, and a good system for having students sit in on 2 classes of their choice, with the opportunity to eat in the dining hall or just eat light lunch at the panel discussions - it was very well organized. Plus they arranged special buses to take us back to the airport, with a subway boxed lunch for our trip. I felt very welcome - and of course, the sun came out for a wonderful 60-degree spring day.

So I am staying with @93pilots in undecided land. I will give CoyoteSon a day or two to process, and then follow @eandesmom’s example to have a meeting to discuss pros and cons. It isn’t really the classic big fish/little fish problem - it’s more about whether an academic minimalist (not quite slacker, but almost!), who in high school has relied on his natural abilities to get by easily - CoyoteSon does everything that is required, but in the most minimal way - and whether he will rise to the challenge to keep up with what would be a challenging workload (and work even harder for him, given his ADHD/executive functioning deficiencies). Anyway - that’s the question - can the academic minimalist thrive at the challenge level where he intellectually belongs, or will he be better off at a less stringent level where he is more likely to excel?

So much news while I was away!

@Klinska - First - CONGRATS on Denison!!! To finish up the discussion we were having a couple of days ago - I totally agree with you about the “judginess” that comes across in some other CC threads about only the elites being worth full pay, and yet also the the contradictory advice that one should take the cheapest option because any kid can grow where planted and the name of the UG doesn’t matter. Thank goodness for @eandesmom and this thread where everyone feels so welcome and supported no matter their kid’s stats or kid’s/parents choices!

Welcome to @4kids4us and @Brunoandbeansmom!

@fishnlines29 - thanks for sharing your D’s story on AP Physics - CoyoteSon hasn’t cracked an AP prep book for Calculus or for Government, and now that college admission is done, I’m just not that fussed about what he gets. I just wanted to say that you are a great Mom to support your D by praising her for her effort at studying, despite feeling discouraged because other kids seem to find the topic easier. I think this is a perfect example of a parent supporting the “Growth Mindset” recommended by Carol Dweck - so thanks for reminding me how important it is to praise the effort, and not necessarily the outcome.

in struggling sons of calculus news - I can report that visiting the calculus tutor once a week allowed CoyoteSon to score an 88% average for a B+ for the third quarter. Yay!

I have more to catch up on - but have to run for now…

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@CoyoteMom, I’m glad you enjoyed your visit to Carleton. D2 graduated from there, and I think she got a great education. I was happy to have her a little closer (4-hour drive instead of 4-hour flight) to home than her sister’s college was.

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Congrats to everyone who has decisions made!

@klinska, big WOOHOO for Denison! It is such a lovely school! Great choice. And I would like to join you on a jaunt to Burlington to meet up with @eandesmom! :slight_smile:

D and I spent Tuesday night and Wednesday in Worcester for WPI’s Accepted Students program. She had a blast, made some new friends and a lot of connections with students and faculty and organizations. I have never seen such a big group of adorably nerdy kids all together – there were a LOT of families from all over visiting that day! She was a little bit nervous at first, but really put herself out there, and just thoroughly enjoyed herself. She’s so happy with her choice and can’t wait to get started in the fall. In the school President’s opening remarks, she mentioned that this year there were 10,500 applicants. I don’t know how big an increase that is over last year, but it does seem like the school is becoming more popular. I admit to buying way more swag in the bookstore than I had planned… I got carried away by the school spirit! LOL It was a really great day and I was SO impressed by the warm and friendly vibe that was evident throughout the community. From the President to the dining hall staff, everyone we met was so welcoming and seemed genuinely happy to be there (and happy that we were there). I had to keep reminding myself that we were not at a college in Ohio! :wink:

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@CoyoteMom Carleton accepted your son because they believe he’ll be successful there, so I wouldn’t worry too much on that score.

An odd little link between Carleton and Beloit Colleges, the president of Beloit was formerly dean at Carleton (and an econ prof there for many years). He seems to be doing well for the place, they’ve had record attendance the past couple of years (over 1300 lol).

Your son has such good options, he really can’t go wrong. Best of luck with your decision!

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@CoyoteMom , I’m so glad the Carleton visit went well. We’ll all be waiting anxiously for the final decision (avatar) to materialize!

I have decided that “With merit, privates will come below the price of in-state” is a line like, “I lost 30 pounds in a month just by giving up soda and parking farther from the office door.” Not to say it doesn’t happen, but not nearly as much as we’re led to believe. Two of TacoSon’s offers were below only the highest priced state schools.

I don’t think TacoSon has any intention of doing ANY prep outside of classwork for AP or IB exams. Only AP Calculus and IB History HL scores would potentially bear college credit as everything else is IB SL, and I don’t think testing out of either is important for his future academic journey. He’d benefit from going over the basics of Calculus again, and History would likely only count as an elective. Last week was horrid and stressful and I’m REALLY hoping that’s the last of it.

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Techson17 says that his AP classes are reviewing and doing HW and that he is doing it on his own and doesn’t need my help. Our school requires that students take the exam if you take the course. I have never heard of anyone not taking the exam but I think you would lost the weighted honors credit if you didn’t take it. I hope that he gets a 3, which would give him elective gen ed credits. Right now, he has 3 credits for AP Psych and if he can get 3’s in APES and US Govt, he can use the slots to take additional courses in the lighting sub-category as electives.

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Still in decision mode, especially because the Binghamton accepted student open house filled up last week and so we couldn’t register :stuck_out_tongue: . Disappointing. But we may sneak onto campus anyway and try to find the special session for Spring admits.

Thanks to everyone for the kind thoughts w.r.t. DD '14. She has been in counseling for a year now, along with meetings with a prescribing psychiatrist to try some meds. The counselor seems to be of the cognitive behavioral therapy bent, judging from the homework she gives DD. It did help for a while but things have really come crashing down in the last few weeks. So, we went to DD’s campus and spent some time with her, and it looks like she’s going to take a medical leave for this semester and next. Still waiting to find out what the financial aid fallout will be :frowning: but the most important thing is for my sweetie to be healthy again.

AND we found out today that the NY Excelsior Scholarship (i.e. “free tuition”) won’t help us at all because our TAP plus Pell go over the cost of tuition, and Excelsior doesn’t apply to required fees which are $2000-$3000 in themselves. I knew that TAP would come off first but didn’t know that Pell would too. Ah well, it’s about time the middle class got a break and that’s really what the Excelsior is geared for, I think.

All in all, a stressful week, but we’re keeping our eye on the prize. It will all work out :slight_smile: .

@CoyoteMom, I’m following your Beloit vs. Carleton saga; what fun choices! I’ve kept my eye on Carleton ever since they sent DD a great flyer titled “How to Turn Your College Junk Mail Into an Origami Frog.” Cleverly, their flyer was neither the right size nor material to use for said frog :wink: . We still have it.

No AP exams here. Our school only offers 4 total, and only the tippity top students take them, so DS is having a relaxing May :slight_smile: .

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"I have decided that “With merit, privates will come below the price of in-state” is a line like, “I lost 30 pounds in a month just by giving up soda and parking farther from the office door.”

@tacocat333 - You ALWAYS make me =)) !!

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Still don’t know how to put quotes from other people’s postings, into a gray box!

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@CoyoteMom - Another wonderful campus trip report. Thanks! Your S17 sounds so much like my S16 - Very similar stats and ECs And study habits. S16 definitely knows he could have worked harder in H.S., but just didn’t. He saw his friends working harder, and they are at places like Harvard, U Penn, UIUC, etc. so he was very happy to be admitted to Grinnell! S16 would have loved to play SuperSmashBros in that Carleton game room with your S16. It’s he and his HS friends favorite game to play together. If he’s on his own, he prefers more role play/strategy/historical type games, he can play on his laptop.

Anyway, I had similar concerns about S16 rising to the academic challenges of being at Grinnell. According to Princeton Review, for “Students Study the Most” Carleton is #5 and Grinnell is #6. He definitely worked hard, his first semester, and held off starting a work study job, so he could get a better handle on his time management. He learned quickly that what I warned him was true - College requires MUCH more time spent studying/working outside the classroom, than HS does, and you have to be careful with how you spend all those hours your on your own. But he got his best report card ever - two As and two A-'s (he said he really wished he had put in just a bit more work to get all straight As), and he made the Dean’s List. He felt really good about how his hard work paid off, but we told him to just continue to work hard and not worry so much about the letter grade - as long as it’s a B or better, since he’s on a scholarship. He has found that he really enjoys being in the middle of the pack, intellectually, making the classroom discussions, and outside study groups, are so stimulating. One thing I’ll say for my kid - He is definitely an “outside of the box,” thinker, and feels he found an good home at Grinnell. I suspect Carleton has a lot of similar types of kids.

Hope your S is able to make a decision he is really happy with! S16 was accepted at Beloit, but a fall overnight trip to Grinnell pretty much sealed the deal for him; so we once was accepted, he didn’t make time for an Accepted Student’s visit at any of other schools. We really liked your campus visit report, however, and forwarded it on to a close friend whose D19, might find Beloit to be a great fit, and they are looking for good merit aid. Interesting connection between Carleton and Beloit, pointed out by @rienrah!

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@tacocat333 -

I gave up diet soda and parked further away and it didn’t help… so I now drink diet soda again.

@mdcmom -

My middle son is on a medical leave due to anxiety as well but he is resistant to counseling. This summer, he is taking 2 classes on line and, hopefully, he will get back into the swing of school. I hope that your D takes the time to learn to understand what makes her tick. She can finish up at a SUNY if that’s better for her or she can do what my son is doing, taking on line classes through his college while at home. He may have to go back for a semester to finish up residency but I hope he will finish. However, the most important thing to me is his mental health, as I am sure your D’s is to you. As to Bing, none of my kids went there but I know plenty of kids who have gone there, are currently attending and will be attending in the fall. It’s a big school and I hesitated to send my kids to one as large but it depends on the kid. The education is top notch.

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Enjoyed the link to the Star Wars song you posted. @CoyoteMom! During A.S. visit at St Olaf, the freshmen mens’ choir ran into the chapel, assembled at the front and sang the two (yes, 2) St O fight songs! They also sang Happy B-day to an accepted student in the audience. Here is the St Olaf “Marching Choir” performing in the Jessie James Days (yes JJ robbed a bank in Northfield, MN) annual parade: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0HD2VZvVXw

As as side note about St. Olaf, the President has a surprisingly dry sense of humor, which we really liked. He looks like my tax accountant, but was really funny! :wink:

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Still in waiting mode… :expressionless: I asked S17 if he was ready to decide today, and he said, “I think I know what I want, but I’m not ready to commit, yet.” I asked if he wanted to talk it out, and he said, “Nope!” I asked if he’d be ready to share tonight, and he shrugged and went back to working on his practice IB exam for French. SIGH…

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And just like that, he has a decision… It’s probably pretty obvious from my avatar, but S17 chose MSU–we have another Spartan in the family! When I asked him what tipped the scales, he said that when he imagined himself at college before this whole process started, he never imagined Albany, but could see himself and MSU. And the main thing that drew him to Albany was the internship opportunities, but then at our last MSU visit, he saw similar opportunities available there, too.

He was so cute telling me (he’d die to hear me refer to him as “cute,” though…). When he came out of his room tonight to pack up his backpack and was ready for bed, he had an old MSU shirt on that he often wears as pajamas. He looked at me, and then held up the MSU logo on the shirt and nodded. We’ll get the deposit in tomorrow. He’s happy, and I’m happy! :slight_smile: