Congratulations!!! I am so thrilled for her and for you. There really is nothing better than feeling it really is the right fit and watching them glow.
Selfishly I’m sad but not surprised. It has always sounded like the best of all worlds and with plenty of flexibility. I would have loved getting to meet you!
@eandesmom I know! I believe in my heart that she is ending up in the right place, but it’s hard letting go of the UVM dream–probably a better fit for me than for her! And hey, I’d love an excuse to head up to Burlington, so let me know when you’re visiting!
@klinska congrats!!! Denison is really great. I really think that school is on the upswing, have been impressed with what I’ve seen and heard. I think their president is awesome. Did your D get the socks at her accepted student visit? Love those.
@eandesmom you don’t know the half of it, he’s juggling 10. Clearly we let him apply to too many schools but that doesn’t matter now. They are great choices, I’m very happy for him and he is happy too but stressed by the impending deadline. Kenyon is the mom pick but I am not sure my S will be able to embrace the remote location. It is make or break time for these Ohio schools!
@klinska Congratulations!! I feel like it’s been such a long road for you and I’m so happy for your daughter! <:-P
@klinska -
Congrats on Denison, which I have heard of but know nothing about. I understand about the Burlington issue - 2 of mine were at SUNY Plattsburgh, across Lake Champlain - and I love Burlington. UVM was just too much money for us.
@mdcmom - Techson17 is trying to convince one of his closest friends to go to UBuffalo. His biggest argument is that he, Techson17, will be 45 minutes away at Fredonia. His friend is another theater kid but not one who wants to pursue it as a career, like my son does. His second biggest argument is that he can graduate debt free and leave money for his friend’s 2 younger siblings to go to college. Either school is excellent, but Buff is much bigger. The kids I know have been happy for the most part and I don’t know who transferred out, just in.
@klinska , congrats to you and KlinskaKid! Denison is fabulous.
May I pose a question? I’ve been following this thread this past year and feel like you all would be more understanding of my dilemma than the general population.
DS attends a very high-performing school, one of the best in the city but has never been particularly grade-motivated. SO while he had ok grades, he was not the academic superstar his friends are. The amount of B+s he was content with… So now that he sees the great schools his friends are getting into, he’s having some regrets. It doesn’t help that he was initially applying as a STEM major and decided during the second semester of Senior year to pursue economics instead.
So now he has two options: UCSC and UPS. Both great, both financially doable. He feels he would be fine at both and is thoughtfully deciding between them.
But here is my dilemma: for a while there, he was strongly considering going to community college and transferring to more highly-rated schools with strong business programs. He came up with a lot of reasons why it’s a good idea and he makes some excellent points- save $, he can work, and guaranteed transfer programs. However, I feel like the personal growth he will (hopefully) undergo while away at school is more valuable than the benefits of attending community college and transferring to a big-name school. He is still quite dependent on me and I think living apart from me but still in a safe environment will do wonders for him. So I told him he had to try at least a year of a 4-yr college first. And if he decides it’s not what he wants he can transfer to another for year school or come back home and go to CC.
I’m not sure about my response- especially considering the thread posted today about the same topic. What would you all advise?
@eandesmom Trust me, I understand… I can’t see either of my guys at school in the Dakotas, either. I actually mentioned a couple of schools out there to S15 where he could be near his cousins, and got a sideways eyeroll–too far away, too much of a cultural difference. As one example, he loves his cousins dearly, but they know nothing of lacrosse. 
I didn’t even mention schools out there to S17 as he thinks Albany is on the smaller side of where he wants to be…
@morningside95 I ALMOST went to SDSMT for chemical engineering and would’ve overlapped with your H. It’s a great school with great programs, but it would’ve been with a TON of kids from my HS class. It also would’ve been practically free for me back then since I was NMF, so the adult me is shocked that my parents agreed to help me out for MSU. I had scholarships there that brought the COA to instate MI tuition, but it was still quite a bit higher than my cost at a SD school. And MSU was just what I needed–I grew so much there, and went on to grad school, and found my niche within chem eng… This is part of what I hope for S17 if he chooses the leap of faith that going to MSU would be for him.
@mdcmom Buffalo was on both my guys’ short lists, and they were both accepted there, but something about the vibe on campus didn’t work for them. I know kids who are very happy there, though. I also know kids at Binghamton, too–the ones I know are very bright and driven. In my small sample size, it seems the better students choose Binghamton.
@Fishnlines29 I hope the Physics AP goes well for your daughter. I think this next month will be a blur for S17–mock trial competition, and then all his IB exams, plus the AP Calc AB exam, too–uggh!
@klinska Congrats on Dennison. I’m jealous of those who have decisions–I’m hoping S has the similar feeling of lightness when he finally commits.
@Brunoandbeansmom You know your son best, and he does have great options. However, I’d probably defer to his choice. It’s VERY common at my S’s school to go to CC for 2+2 programs, and several of his friends are doing just that. I know it wouldn’t save as much $, but some CC have dorms, so they can get a taste of life on their own. And the tuition is still lower than even instate university. Good luck to your S–I think he’ll be successful whichever way he goes.
S is slowly starting to feel better, and he’s working through the homework and reviews assigned over break–he finished calc and history and wants to finish on French and psych tomorrow. I asked if he wanted me to check over the calc, and he said, “Nope!” So I’m backing off. He seems more self motivated this quarter, so we’ll see how it plays out.
@eandesmom And we love you. You started this thread, and you maintain the awesome list. You’re our hero!
@93pilots 10 schools still in contention? I can’t wait to hear the final decision! Good luck with the rest of the visits.
@klinska Congratulations on Denison! It sounds like a great school from everything I have read.
@Brunoandbeansmom You are in a tough position. I had my heart set on a 4 yr school for D. Then I found out DH’s boss’ D started out at a 2 yr CC and lived at home and now she has been accepted to 2 flagship med schools. DH’s boss is wealthy, so money was not a consideration. They just felt she was young and not ready to leave home. Meeting her (she invited D to attend a pre-med mtg and went to dinner with us when we toured her campus) softened my attitude toward 2 yr CC’s. I think question your son, challenge him a little, but in the end, let him make the decision.
Congrats, @klinska and your D!!! I loved our visit to Denison with S16, and, as I probably mentioned, the town of Granville is adorable! A friend’s son plays football for Denison, and has really enjoyed his freshman year there. The new-ish President sounds like a great guy! Can’t recall where you live on the east coast. Will the campus be within driving distance from you? So happy for you!!! <:-P <:-P <:-P
@93pilots 10??? Oh my. He might need to do brackets, he should be in the semi finals. I’m stressed thinking about 10 on your behalf!
S17 told S19 to apply to less schools than he did as it was too many options (7) lol. For the record I am not letting S19 follow that advice.
@Brunoandbeansmom welcome!!!
if it were me, I’d be looking at a few different things.
He will not have #1 for 2 years by which point the friends have moved on and established their own network. That sounds harsh but it’s true. He may feel more disconnected to them at breaks as they chat about big name school and he’s at a CC.
Saving money is great, as is working (he can work at either of his 4 year options too) but I’d want to make sure he is really doing it for the right reasons versus trying to keep up with others. Both of his schools are lovely lovely options (UPS is hugely respected locally, super strong alumni network) and personally, I like the idea of doing one of those for a minimum of a year and then allowing the transfer back to CC and live at home if needed. If it was a money issue that would be different but it doesn’t sound like it is.
I also agree that sometimes a little push out of the nest is a good thing. We did that with our oldest,who didn’t commit until 5/1 giving us a lot of grey hairs in the process. Different situation but we really worried if he didn’t go to a 4 year that first year it was quite likely he never would.
We felt strongly he needed the 4 year and the residential on campus living for his development and thankfully it was the right call.
That said many kids make the transfer really well and it’s a great option. And if he’s not ready to go away (have friends that have done this too) then CC can really be the right call.
You are welcome here any time, @Brunoandbeansmom. You and your S have a lot to think about. What is his feeling about leaving home? Would it be too stressful? Will his friends be going away to school, leaving him back home sort of on his own? UCSC and UPS are both great schools, which seems to have a lot of sort of laid back, smart kids. We know kids who have gone to both, and have 3 friends at UPS right now. I would say they are all on the artsy side, and liked that the environment was more collaborative, and less competitive. What does S think of his visits to these schools? Did he prefer a larger school, or would a population closer to 2,500 be more comfortable for him? How far are they from home? Can he come home for the weekend, if he feels the need?
I can only relate our own family’s experience:
My S16 is 4 hours away, and was pretty home sick, first semester. He is close enough so we could drive down and get him, if needed, but not too close that he would be too reliant on us. S was excited to go away to college, but had had the same group of friends for most of HS and they were very close. He hadn’t been forced to go out and make new friends in a long time, and he’s very reserved. Now, 8 months later, he said there are two groups of friends he hangs out with, he goes to the dances they have on-campus almost every weekend, he finally got signed up for a work study job, played, sang guitar in front of OTHER people (!) at their annual music festival and picked up a slot on the college radio station. It took awhile, but he finally feels at home. He still FB chats w/ “the guys,” but not as frequently as he did first semester. I hope it’s not too tough for him (and us!) when he comes home for the summer. Many of his HS friends are working internships in other States or countries, and none of his college friends are from this area. AND he still needs to find a summer job! 
I agree that going to 2 yrs of CC and then transfer to a 4 year is a very good option. But most kids who choose that route, do so when 4 yrs, straight out of HS, is just too expensive. Our family is of the mind that, unless there are extenuating circumstances, it’s healthy for 18 yr olds to start building a life of that is totally their own, but with some support from home, as needed. A third option would be to defer admission at UCSC or UPS for just 1 year. He can work, to save extra money and take a few CC classes to cover some GE requirements. Maybe he’ll feel more ready to leave home and be on his own at the age of 19. Just a thought.
Wow, @93pilots! 10 schools still in the running?! Sounds like you are being thoughtful and open minded. Which few are his top choices?
@klinska --no offense taken. Just 'fessing up to likely being the in the full pay boat. It’s partly because S17 was applying to engineering, deadset on going OOS, and trying to get into a strong program. His GPA just didn’t make him competitive for big merit at the schools he is most drawn to.
@rbc1999 said: “Is everyone having their kids study for the AP exams outside of the class using study books? My DD is not and now I think maybe she should. Or do you think it’s too late?”
I have the same question. S17 is taking AP Calc AB, AP Comp Sci, AP Physics C (x2). He’s not using outside study books (in fact I don’t know if he’s studying for these outside of his classes). Any input from the AP exam veterans?
for outside AP books I think Barron’s is really the best. The chapters are succinct yet helpful and there are some decent practice tests in there as well.
@eandesmom and others The “there are options that will come in cheaper than your state flagship” also are fueled by the general media, for example, this article that somebody passed to me. These sorts of claims drive me crazy as they tend to apply to a small minority of highly competitive schools with large endowments. Or to a small subset of large publics, which may not fit every student. The only realistic data I have seen on this question that relate to smaller and/or somewhat less competitive schools are the results that you have compiled laboriously on this thread.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/19/opinion/college-cheaper-than-you-think.html
I have found this group incredibly valuable as I will be helping my niece (class of 2019) who is a A-/B+ student and is likely to have respectable but not extraordinary test scores.
I have enjoyed this thread because there was a lot of overlap with the schools my daughter considered. She really wanted a LAC or perhaps a small to mid sized university. She did not aspire to the Ivy league. We also were chasing merit and focused her search on schools that we felt she might enjoy that we also could afford. She applied to College of Wooster, St. Olaf, Dickinson, Macalester, and Oberlin.
I can affirm that despite the fact that her GPA and test scores are very competitive, there were no “less than state school” offers. Maximum merit awards from LACs to which she applied ranged from 20-30K, which left a range of 28-44K left over to pay.
@klinska Congrats on Denison - we visited and liked both the campus and the town. It seems like a very dynamic place and its president clearly has a vision for the school.
@rbc1999 I don’t think it’s too late and I agree that Barron’s is good; they also had some premade flash cards for the subjects my S took in prior years. He also used the “quizlet” site with flash cards other kids had put together. That said I am not bugging S about the AP exams at all. He is not trying to enter school with a bunch of credits and at this point it doesn’t affect college admissions so am in a whatever happens, will happen mood. His school makes you take the exam to get credit for the class, so he has to do it, but in grand scheme of things this isn’t looming large.
@morningside95 he will admit to no front runners but I hope there will be some decisions after this weekend. (Well, there pretty much has to be a decision!) @eandesmom your bracket analogy is not far off as he seems to prefer a process of elimination kind of thing. he is very analytical and not the type to have a big emotional falling in love reaction to a school…so, hanging in there. Under the surface I know he is thinking hard.
Good luck @93pilots ! That’s a lot of schools to have in contention at this stage. Does he have them in tiers of preference at least? It will all get sorted, but I feel for you!
My D17 has the Barron’s books for her AP classes. She’s been using them all year.
Welcome @Brunoandbeansmom ! It sounds like it just took your S a little longer to figure out what he wanted. Can you clarify where he stands now? Sounds like he was considering the CC/transfer route earlier, but now is deciding between UPS and UCSC. Is this as a 4-year option, or is he taking you up on your suggestion to do at least a year away and then transfer? It’s hard to say how he will feel in a year–I imagine you are hoping he will have settled in at his choice and want to continue there, but how will you feel if he does want to come back home and do CC and then transfer to brand name school?
If he does take a gap year and reapply, be aware that if he does take some classes he may lose his first-year status, which may affect acceptance and/or merit aid. He should look into the requirements/constraints at each school he is considering.
If he pursues the CC/transfer route that could also affect the merit aid he is eligible for. Are the schools he’s considering for transfer affordable as full pay?
Both of the kids are using Barron books for AP studying and have in the past. TBH they only help if the student actually uses them, so far of the 3 AP tests taken we only have one usable score and for that one, a study group was involved in addition to the book.
I did buy the flash cards this year for APES which S was excited about and says they help. Both kids say they are studying (though only started this week) and using the books but…I have my doubts.