Good luck to all whose kids are just getting started! When I went to MSU, they were also on the quarter system, so we started classes really late, too. Now they’re on semesters, so S17 has been in class for a month already.
I traveled to MI for work last week, and managed to get an evening to visit S17. It was GREAT to see him, and he’s adjusting so well–has a place on the mock trial team, and has joined freshman council for student government and his dorm’s activities board. He has a core group of guys to hang out with, gets along with his roommate, and has fun playing poker/cards and going to football games with the guys on his dorm floor. Classes are going well so far, but he hasn’t had any big exams yet. Although he seemed pleasantly surprised that he did very well on the 1st speaking test for French. I think he may have been placed a class too low in French, but it’s a good confidence boost for him, and he’s ahead on credits anyway, so it’s fine. His first paper is in for the writing class for his major, and he has 2 exams next week, so that will tell more on how he’s really doing. So far he’s keeping up and has gone to office hours for writing and policy, just to make sure he’s on track. He seems very confident and mature–it was very cool to see him like that! We wandered campus, had dinner, and I took him shopping to stock up on snacks for his room. It was hard to say goodbye again, but easier because he was so happy.
And then S15 was home this weekend for our high school’s homecoming. He likes his apartment and his classes, and it seems like he’s settling into a rhythm. He always spooks me a bit because he can get behind by not turning things in for classes, and then he won’t ask for help. So midterms will be the true test for him, but so far, he says all is going well. He’s great to have around the house since he’s so laid back–I miss his calming presence when he’s not around. We went to the homecoming soccer game, and out for dinner, and I took him on a grocery run to stock up his pantry, too. And he spent some time online gaming, so he was happy–he doesn’t take his PS4 to school because he knows it would be too big of a time sink for him… And I got a dose of both boys in 1 week–very NICE!
So quiet here these days! I hope everyone is having a nice fall and kids acclimating at their schools and for those of us with more to follow in this process, that it is going well and you are surviving it!
S17 seems to be doing well. The grades are solid, one not so great mid term so far that is balanced out by the rest of the work to still be livable. He has definitely jumped in and has made a lot of friends and seems to be quite busy and social. He is a bit concerned he doesn’t know exactly what he wants to do yet and that “everyone” else already knows. I think he’s fine and am not concerned. We had a lovely lovely almost 2 hour phone call this weekend, initiated by him. It was parents weekend and we were unable to attend so I think that was part of it but it really was the most relaxed call we’ve had since he left.
@MSU88CHEng you scare me with an S15 who doesn’t turn in homework…S19 is known for this and it’s a real issue in his classes and one of the reasons I am not thrilled with the idea of him going too far away (or spending at the top end of the budget). We will see, I am hoping for junior year improvements but I am also not holding my breath. YAY for seeing both boys!
@NolaCAR that sounds like a lovely get together! A few of us have talked about doing something with local moms but nothing organized as far as I know.
@techmom99 I hope drafting has gotten a bit better!
I was thinking of digging this thread up yesterday but life got in the way. We pick S17 up tomorrow afternoon for fall break - really just a long weekend but I’ll take it. He hasn’t been home since we dropped him off in mid-August and only made the trip to see him once for a short afternoon visit. He doesn’t call frequently and when he does I think it’s more out of obligation than really wanting to talk to us - which I interpret as he’s settling in nicely and I know he’s made friends. He says classes are going well and he seems to have found a good balance between work and play. Really hoping he opens up a little this weekend but he’s always been a kid of few words.
@eandesmom Great to hear that S17 is doing so well!! I agree he doesn’t need to know what he wants yet just narrow down the options and he’ll get there. I can’t believe a 2 hour phone call with one of my boys - neither likes to talk much. I’d be floored (and super happy).
@techmom99 according to my S14 an ME major - a lot of drafting is about which program they are forced to use. Some are MUCH better than others. He’s an experienced drafter and has used at least 3 different programs with varying love/hate. He is dreading an upcoming class that, depending on the prof he gets, would end up forcing him to use the one he likes least.
@smakl70 I think the 2 hour call was, for him, his version of parent’s weekend. We’ve not seen him since August and won’t until December and while he is super happy…I do think being around all of the other families was a bit hard. He initiated the call and said he wanted a long one. It really was lovely. He is a talker and sharer though, much more so than the other three. We would be lucky to get 15 min out of the rest. Combined!
Have a wonderful long weekend…being together even in silence is a good thing.
Lovely to hear that your sons (and daughters) are settled and enjoying college so much.
Thought I’d chime in to update on my son. His 2 surgeries went well. He is now 3 weeks post op from his second surgery. The surgeon was amazed at how well he looked at his 2 week visit. I have to agree. Looking at him, it is hard to believe his recovery is going to take a minimum of 5 months. He isn’t taking any pain medication and is able to move around pretty well. Of course, he isn’t allowed to do much - no bending, twisting or lifting. He started his PT with aquatic therapy this week. While he was tired for the rest of the day, he mentioned how much better he felt the next day.
Last week, he was able to finish 3 of his college applications. We wouldn’t let him submit anything without us reviewing it. He has also returned to preparing for the SATs, which he will take in November. He tried to do some calculus today but found he couldn’t focus on the new material. He seems to accomplish work in spurts and is able to focus better on some days and not so much on others. I keep telling him to try to work for shorter periods (15 minutes not an hour), be patient with himself, and to review material instead of trying to learn something new. I think he is slowly realizing that healing takes a lot of energy.
This unexpected gap year has been a blessing. DS is much more relaxed and reflective. It is amazing how much time he has to think and reflect without high school classes, homework, sports, and other after school activities. Our best conversations come later in the day so I find myself staying up later and later each evening. Lol, I may have to start taking naps!! He is definitely on a teen/college student schedule. However, it is definitely worth it, and I am savoring this time together watching him change and grow. What a difference a year makes!
The drafting is going a little bit better, but it’s old fashioned hand drawing, which Techson17, with his dyslexia and poor vision, isn’t excelling at. I told him I failed the same class in HS and, while I also have bad eyesight, I am not dyslexic. I think next semester, he will do CAD, which he did in HS. He also has some rendering classes in his major, which I always thought meant turning pig lard into soap, but I guess I was wrong.
I am looking forward to seeing him the last weekend this month, when my 21 year old and I will fly up, rent a car and go to family weekend. I will see the show in which he is doing basic lighting tasks.
Recently, my MIL, bless her soul, turned 93. H and i visited with the 3 oldest boys. They set up phones on the table so that Techson17 and D could be there while we sang Happy Birthday to her. MIL was a little confused about how it all looked, but she was happy to have all of her grandchildren “together” in one place, so to speak. I could see that Techson17 needs a haircut. It will have to wait for Thanksgiving, I think. He’s only ever had his hair cut by someone other than H once and he hated the cut.
Glad to hear that the kids are settling in and finding their stride and @DMVmom, that your son is recovering well and that you are enjoying the unexpected time with him.
Dropping by to say hello, even though there is no longer any “business reason” to be on here I got caught up in everyone’s stories last year and it is great to her that all the kids are settling in (or, in the case of @DMVmom, on the mend) and doing well.
From this end–I think things are going okay for S at Reed, as far as I can figure. I thought he would be in touch constantly but that hasn’t been the case at all…he mostly texts and it’s hard to tell too much other than that he likes the community and the work is challenging. No idea how he is doing because there aren’t any grades to look at–that is taking some getting used to! Very much looking forward to seeing him next week at fall break and finding out more.
@techmom99 Good luck to techson on the drafting class! And I hope you had a good weekend with him. S15 is in his last day of his Fall break, so he’s been home since Friday and will drive back to college tonight (only 45 min away). It’s been great having him home!
@DMVmom I’m so glad that your S17 is on the mend. And the late night conversations sound heavenly!
@eandesmom Yes, I have several cautionary tales about S15 and not turning in homework… And it continued into college. He got a D in a gen ed music class his 1st semester freshman year because he pretty much didn’t do any of the online busy work for the class. The prof didn’t grade it until right before finals, so he COULD HAVE done it anytime, but just didn’t think it was important. So he ended up retaking it the next semester. SIGH… Live & learn… I’m not saying anything for fear of jinxing it, but his school reports midterm grades on the portal (he’s given us guest access), and all seems well this semester (but shhhh, I didn’t say anything)…
We got the first “reality check” phone call from S17 this weekend. Nothing horrible, but he got a couple of “meh” grades on a paper and a test last week, so he was stressed about a midterm this week. So, the honeymoon is over, but he’s still engaged and determined. I’m sending him a care package this week–the moms from our high school all got together this weekend to make up treat bags for the college kids. It was fun, and I think the kids will be happy.
Need some Cali help! Job change means we are moving from NC to AZ and want to include some west coast schools to our applications. Of course, we know nothing about them, since our search was concentrated (and in good shape!) on mid-atlantic/south. We’d love to have him closer than the east coast. Also, both of us parents are familiar with big engineering schools – son wants small to medium LAC or university. He’s graduating 2018, but this thread has been so informative, I thought I’d ask here.
His stats:
GPA hovering around 3.0 unweighted, 3.48 W from highly ranked small private high school. Will have 6 APs, 2 with B’s, others TBD
ACT: 34
And therein lies the dichotomy of this child – very bright, nerdy, loves politics, history and philosophy, wants a service type career, but ADHD and can’t seem to turn in his homework. He should be around other inquisitive intellectuals, but we also want him somewhere where he can succeed that offers some type of support.
What we’ve found: Occidental & Santa Clara – out of reach or reach
Chapman, LMU, USD – reach to maybe
Redlands, Whittier, UPacific, USF – probable, but could surprise us with a “no”
Of course, merit aid could also be a determining factor. No need-based aid will be available, but who wants to spend $70K a year when there’s other great options? He understands this as he’s probably going to continue with a masters.
@eahaz what would you like input with - whether those schools sound like a fit for your son, what his chances at merit might be? of the schools you listed, I’ve visited Occidental and USD with my daughter - and she visited Chapman without me and liked it. I’ve also been to Santa Clara campus as it’s near my home and husband got his MBA there at night while working.
I think Occidental is a great school and might be very good for your son. It might be a reach, my daughter did get in but had a higher GPA than your son. She did not get any merit there though. It’s a good school for bright and nerdy I don’t know that Chapman or USD would be as good a fit - from what I’ve seen they seem to attract a bit more “traditional” student. Redlands might be a good fit - I didn’t visit but liked what I’ve read about it - just keep in mind it’s a bit out of the way, it’s not right in LA but about an hour away and I guess it can get pretty hot. I’ve heard the area around it might not be the greatest either? But it seems like a really supportive, nice place.
@CAtransplant Thank you! Looking for all input. I have never even heard of some of these schools, so have no preconceived notions or stereotypes about any of them. Thanks for the admissions/aid input on Occidental. It’s hard to find a match for nerdy and bright
@eahaz that’s pretty much the list I am working with for my S19 who fits the nerdy but bright, adhd (likely aspie) bill.
For him, I’m actually hoping to push him towards Seattle U or U of Portland as the merit will be better. He thinks he wants a big state school but I think that is likely a terrible idea. You might also want to look at Northern Arizona as well.
Maybe. I worry about him getting lost with their gen ed but if he got into Honors it might work and he should have a chick of AP credit to@twoinanddone He will apply there though, I think.
@eahaz I responded to your post on the 2018 thread - D17 applied/was accepted to both LMU and USD so please see my response to you over there and hopefully it helps some.
@eahaz we looked at most of those schools with S17 who is also interested in politics, history, philosophy can focus endlessly on things that interest him but hasn’t always been great at grinding through the things that don’t.
Chapman and LMU seemed to have a similar vibe–the person up above who said they attract a more traditional student hit it on the head I think. Chapman is next to a very cute, walkable area and a train station; LMU might be harder to manage without a car. Both medium sized. If residential life is important one thing to note about Chapman is that they have limited on campus housing (less than 50% of students). Both schools seem to stress internship opportunities.
Occidental is great and has a couple of unusual programs that might interest your son–a program where students get involved in political campaigns for college credit, and a diplomacy program that features an internship at the UN.
Redlands is pretty far outside LA (maybe 1.5 hours east from downtown), it has a spacious and pretty campus, people seemed friendly and happy when we visited. They offer a Salzburg Semester that looked really interesting; they have been running it for something like 50 years so should be pretty good at it by now. There is also a program (Tinker Scholars) where students can spend the May term working on policy making or interning for Washington organizations. And there is a special track that requires a special application where students can design their own majors.
Whittier is about half the size of Redlands and closer in to L.A. (maybe 30 minutes east from downtown). It is easy to overlook but I think it might be kind of a hidden gem–professors seemed very hands on, devoted to teaching kids and finding opportunities for them, and they seem to have pretty strong programs in place for helping students transition to college. They also (like Redlands) have an alternative program where students design their own majors.
Whittier and Redlands were very generous with merit aid.
Have you thought about expanding your search to the Pacific Northwest? Other places S considered that might be of interest are Reed (S is a freshman there now), Lewis & Clark, and University of Puget Sound.
Hey, great to see all the updates! I’m mostly working on getting S18 (doing senior year in Germany) through the app process now, but figured I’d swing by 2017 too. D17 is doing great! She loves RIT and I think it is the perfect fit. She loves three of her profs and likes the rest, is finding the work engaging but not too hard (whew!), and has joined a bunch of clubs. Making friends is tough, but the clubs and school events make for a pretty good social life.
I’ve done pretty well with my early “empty nester” status (S18 is the youngest of 3). It helps that my oldest and her husband live in town and come over about once a week. But I have mostly been doing non-kid-related things which is kind of nice after many years of stay-at-home-momming.
@snoozn I’m glad that your D17 likes RIT. The weather in this part of the country has been pretty mellow so far this Fall, although a bit rainy… Good luck to S18 on his applications and year in Germany!
I hadn’t heard much from S17 the past couple of weeks because he’s been insanely busy. He’s competing and traveling with the mock trial team, so he’s been away from MSU the past 2 weekends and has 1 more tournament for the semester this weekend. Then the team will only practice twice a week until the end of this semester. They have a couple of tournaments and then regionals, etc. next semester. Plus, his classes are very writing intensive, so he has papers due constantly. He got home from mock trial late Sunday night, and had 3 short papers due by Wed. of this week. I think he was a bit sleep deprived by Wed., but he’s holding his own in his classes, and sounds like he’s handling things well. He has friends–they play poker and euchre, go to football games together, and eat and sit together in lectures for thei major, They’re already planning housing for next year–his group wants to stay together on their dorm floor. It’s good to hear him happy and confident!
Oh, and S15 thinks he may be able to graduate EARLY–he switched to a major with fewer requirements, so he thinks he may be done by the end of next summer. Now, I’m hoping he figures out “what next?” :-?
I don’t know that Chapman or USD would be as good a fit - from what I’ve seen they seem to attract a bit more “traditional” student. Redlands might be a good fit - I didn’t visit but liked what I’ve read about it - just keep in mind it’s a bit out of the way, it’s not right in LA but about an hour away and I guess it can get pretty hot. I’ve heard the area around it might not be the greatest either? But it seems like a really supportive, nice place.