@laurrodes, your post is very reassuring! We’ve got several of the schools you listed above on our list (Temple, UMass, UNH, URI). ECs are my D’s real weak link, so I’m hoping she’ll be able to make up for it somewhat with a great essay–you must have done a great job with yours! Congrats on a wonderfully successful outcome–wishing you the best on your second year at BU!
@klinska thank you so much and good luck to your D! They’re all great schools
When I got S17 to talk about his 1st day of school. His comment on the AP Comp Science class was that it felt strange because it was full of geeky unsocial kids. I almost laughed because that could have described him as little as 2 years ago.
I think the codes were on the flyers she received - and I’ll bet she threw them out I’ll ask her. Thanks!
I have been following this thread, and wanted to add some reassurance as well. My D (class of 2016) had a 3.3 gpa, 1840 on the SAT and lots of EC in theater but no others to speak of. She took one AP, two years of one foreign language, and had a supplemental essay about her dyslexia. She got into every school at which applied except Emerson (which had a portfolio review and she did not connect with the head of the department). She also got good merit aid at all except U of Oregon. Here is the list:
U of Puget Sound
Willamette
Beloit
Lawrence
Alma
College of Idaho
Colorado State University
U of Oregon
Pacific University
Otterbein
A year ago I was so worried, and I was scouring CC to look for the stats at schools in which my D was interested. Do as @laurrodes said and show interest in schools and have your kids’ true self shine through in the application, and they will end up with some nice choices. I know it’s easy to tell you not to worry, but I think when you look back you will find that it’s not as bad as it seems right now.
S has been working away on his summer homework every day this week. He knew he had a lot but has realized even with that, he underestimated it. I am really glad he has almost 2 weeks still to get it done!
I updated his cheat sheet today to show climate and a better breakdown of $. I turned into a 5 tiered $ scale so he could see the impact on him directly, no loans at all, expectation of school year earnings or summer savings, whether he’d have to take a student loan, etc. Our flagship tuition went down as part of state legislation a few years ago and while he doesn’t want to consider it, it is the budget benchmark. Meaning I can fund up to that and more he has to have skin in the game. It’s a matter of how much skin in the game he is willing to put and if I am willing to do any extra on top of that.
@coloradomom2015 yes, our codes were on the mailers. Time to dig through the recycling.
@laurrodes what great input! I’ve been complaining that BU is spamming my kid bit time and there is no way he’d get in but perhaps I am wrong about that after all! It’s a lot bigger than he wants though and not affordable to us. What a great school though! Congratulations.
I like your list a lot and have looked at most, some of the ones I really like don’t have my S’s area of interest (Northeastern, Quinnipiac) and sadly most don’t appear to be affordable, although Amherst seems closest of the bunch. He doesn’t want a big school or I’d likely have it added. Temple is on our list (despite being big lol) but I do like Marist quite a lot for him and would love to be able to consider it if the $ had worked.
I’ve never thought to look at S’s grades that way (total number by letter grade) as not all classes are full year, like you a lot of those A’s are in classes that do not count at most colleges. Hoping the fact that the rest is largely honors or AP classes helps some and that poor Spanish grades don’t sink him. His ACT concords pretty much exactly where your SAT was.
A’s: 9.5 (6 in band lol)
A-'s: 1.5
B+'s: 2.5
B’s: 5
B-'s: .5
C+'s: .5
C’s: 1
C-'s: .5
Thank you again for sharing!!!
@eandesmom I loved Marist! I probably would’ve ended up there if I hadn’t gotten accepted to BU. Marist is known to give merit aid and if it isn’t enough, I know a few people who ended up calling and comparing it to merit aid they had received from another school and got more from them that way
Right now I’m after D to get her Naviance LoR section done. She’s already asked the two teachers she wants to get recs from and just has to email them when she’s done. I see the LoR’s as essential as I think they’ll be an important complement to the essay (which is an “overcoming challenges” essay – yes, cliche, but I think it’s an excellent topic for her).
I am back and forth about whether to do a WA state visit to see WWU and Gonzaga. If we did go, we’d see the “Western Fall Welcome” at WWU and “Fall Preview Day” at Gonzaga which happen to fall one the day after the other in mid October. These are each full day events that include academic department sessions and an honors program session for WWU. I always find these special events more useful than the typical info session and campus tour. D is pushing hard to go as she is very interested in both schools. It would be especially nice if she loved WWU since it’s a safety. To make it affordable we’d have to fly in and out of Seattle, which means a lot driving for me!
Random odd thoughts: I’m daydreaming about D17 and S18 both attending RIT. It is #2 on her list. And oddly enough it satisfies S’s very specific program requirements which are totally different from D’s. I feel like it’s an omen!
@curiositycat333, I didn’t know my D was in your S’s AP CS class! 
@laurrodes and @Reckless, thank you for providing some encouraging data points. It’s not over til the last fat (or thin) envelope arrives!
@eandesmom, matching the state flagship is our “budget scheme” as well. I know oldest D had friends all over the map, from those entirely responsible for financing their education, to those who didn’t have to give COA a second thought.
@laurrodes perhaps. It is an interesting NPC to be sure. It actually calculated the highest yet EFC that I have seen for us, kind of a choking moment for me actually! (4-10K higher than others, and usually the private schools show a lower EFC than FAFSA only, not higher) and only showed 6K in merit. Generally for the privates on our list with similar sticker prices I am seeing 10-24k in merit at S’s stats and a lower EFC. His list is targeting a similar stat range BUT those schools are less selective overall, a bit lower ranked (which must be due to yield as the student profile is quite similar at most), higher admission rates and lower yields and a bit different geographically. Aka Goucher, Ursinus, McDaniel, Juniata, Ithaca, University of Puget Sound. Unfortunately according to Marist, their top award is 15k. Which, if received would put COA on the very upper edge of what I am looking for (ok past the edge a bit) and I’m hard pressed to see S getting their top award. They do have music and theater money though but I’ll need to dig to see if it available to non majors.
According to the CDS the average non need award is just a bit under 8k so that’s not enough to meet our delta but sadly consistent with their NPC. that higher EFC is a bit of a deal killer to be sure!
In comparison, BU actually doesn’t show an iota of merit, it does show a lower EFC and so a small “need” grant that is more in our normal highish EFC range but still BU’s end COA is far higher than Marist.
That said, you may be right about leveraging offers from like schools and S is definitely in their range, if nothing else he may offer a geographic hook lol… Hmmmnnn.I may mull it over. I like it. A lot. My S has requested not to look at anything we absolutely cannot afford and I fear this fits here but…hmmmn. Thanks for the feedback.
@snoozn you should look at costs for a flight to Spokane. Seriously. It’s a 4 hour drive (really 5. They say 4 but it’s never 4) and an hour flight tops. Alaska offers them on the hour and they can be quite reasonable. Once you factor in the cost of gas it’s not as much extra as you think and a much nicer way to go. You could time your return to be Spokane-SEA-DEN in one trip easily enough, just leave a bit of buffer as the spokane flights are commuter flights and can start to run behind.
The drive to WWU isn’t bad, 90 minutes tops from my house, maybe 2 hours from the airport unless you hit horrid traffic. Alternatively you can actually fly into Bellingham but I’ve no clue what those flights run, it would be worth checking though!
As you know we loved the WWU spring preview (except maybe to say skip the curry in the cart outside the union, not bad but decidedly meh). The one drawback is you won’t get to sit in on a class or meet with any professors directly but S really felt he got enough and then there wasn’t anything at his 1 week class that changed his opinion overall.
I am trying to get S to do one at UPS, one falls on Columbus day so that would work well as there is no school. Our tour was after school was out and he needs to go back. I really want him to apply to at least ONE more school in driving distance, WWU is the only one “for sure” at the moment.
Of course Goucher has one on the same day but…that’s not an hour drive away! Still hoping to work that angle with the new parent company though.
Overcoming challenges seems the perfect topic for your D! I need to see if our Naviance has updated for the LoR section yet or not, it was allegedly being maybe enhanced or upgraded.
Random sigh of relief
S has completed 78% of his AP calc homework (his number not mine lol), is maybe 50% there on AP Lit and I’ve not checked in on APES yet.
Question for this board. 2017 3.0 - 3.4 board. (I’ve made the mistake and posted elsewhere.)
How many of us consider essays, letters of recommendation very important?
On the 2017 board, someone posted a day or two again saying they thought the emphasis on the essays on the board was a bit exaggerated. And was debating how much effort should be put towards them.
However I feel these two things are more important when your in my S17’s situation. He doesn’t fit nicely in the middle 50% of stats anywhere. Colleges are looking for an explanation and/or a reason to take a chance on my kid. The essay gives them a place to do that. Of course at he schools my son is targeting many don’t have essays, and it looks like S17 will only need to write 4 rather than the high numbers other students are needing to write.
@curiositycat333 I think that the essays and letters are VERY important, particularly for reach schools. And of course my D hasn’t really done anything about her essay yet. She had it as an assignment in English last spring but just threw something together that was pretty awful. I meant for her to work on it this summer but it somehow got away from us [she has been staying with her dad for most of August so I haven’t had daily influence :)].
Question–anyone else divorced from their D/S17’s parent and dealing with their ex around college stuff? Great to not have to pay for all of college [we will split 50/50], but not sure we will be on the same page when the results come in. He said something about how she should go to the “best” college she gets in to. Who says what is best? What if her favorite isn’t the “best” according to him? What if she gets a bunch of merit money from one or more schools that she likes but also gets into a reach that gives her no money? Is he willing to pay an extra $80K or whatever it would be over 4 years so she can go to a “better” name? Ugh. NOT looking forward to all of that.
@curiositycat333 I think they are very important. I think it may have been @snoozn that made the comment but hers was specific to the “why xx school” prompt for their flagship. In that particular case I am pretty sure her D could write that one in her sleep as her older sibling attends and she is doing DE there so probably pretty easy to take that one easy. I may be wrong and it was someone else though.
I think the “why xxx” essay will be very difficult for my S on one of his schools and the school may fall off as a result. Not sure. And, in a way, I think apps like OSU with it’s 6 questions @ 100 words each, are just as much work or more than a longer essay as you have to be succinct. I think those are the apps it could be easy for a kid (my kid lol) to think they could just whip out without enough thought and drafts to make it as good as possible. That said, I think @kt1969 makes a key point. It is probably more critical for reach schools. However, it could kill chances at a match school if not careful.
Yes and no. Long answer but the TL;DR version is I feel your pain.
LOL. We have a mix. My H has to deal with his ex for my 2 stepkids. She very much has the same philosophy as your ex does, to the point that neither kid applied for a single scholarship, one didn’t take work study $ when offered and she flat out refused to file FAFSA SS11’s freshman (and sophomore too I think) year. Amazingly, once she/SS11 did, he was offered some grant money and the (declined) work study. She only finally did it when another mom told her she was being an idiot and it couldn’t hurt. My H has had very very little say in what schools his kids looked at and were allowed to apply at. As in zero really. He could have opinions but they did what they wanted with mom’s support and in some cases guidance/control. Luckily both chose schools that in the big picture of life and COA that is out there…were on the “more” affordable side but not what either my H or I would consider financial safeties. My H has made it work though, but it could have been ugly and frankly in some ways, still is. For example SD14 just moved into a new off campus house for her junior year. Costs went up monthly with this move. He is expected to pay half but was not consulted nor was the increase approved, he’s just sent a bill. It makes me NUTS. He tries to fight it, has for over a decade now but almost always caves and just pays.
I will give SD14 a lot of credit though, she applied EA to her school which really removed control from her mom. I know her mom had to sign off on it but am not sure she really realized what she was doing.
As for me…my ex is not in the picture, at all. I don’t officially know where he lives (though suspect) and to the best of my knowledge he has not been employed in quite some time as he is garnished by my state for child support. When they can find him that is and whenever they do, it doesn’t last long, nor is it of any worthwhile dollar value (I mean like I’ll get $12 lol, no joke). While this means I don’t need, or get (nor is he even legally allowed) to have input or say it does get uber messy at PROFILE schools that use the NCP form. I’ll have to request waivers. I think we should be able to get them easily enough between the court documents that strip all legal rights and limit contact, the fact that there has been no contact in maybe 5-6 years at best under those limited terms and the documented arrears and non contribution. I am NOT looking forward to that paperwork and if waivers are denied having to try to track ex down. Sadly, one of S’s top schools uses the NCP form so I can’t avoid it entirely much as I would love to.
@eandesmom Ugh, that doesn’t sound fun. Perhaps I should be counting my blessings that at least he is around and will pay his half. 
He and I are both remarried and have another child…my son is 7 and his is 9. Everyone makes decent money [except me] but we live in an expensive area [Boston suburbs] where everything seems to cost a fortune and that doesn’t leave a ton of extra money for us and likely not for him either. We will figure it out, but I kind of wish we could fast-forward 9 months to when the decision has been made.
@kt1969 So you probably know already how this works from a FAFSA and PROFILE standpoint but if not and you want the cliff notes, let me know!
We are very much in the same boat, it worked out a bit better for the skids once their mom actually filed FAFSA, especially for SS11. On the flip side of that, my kids will have very much the reverse scenario but it is what it is.
@kt1969 Nope don’t have to deal with a divorce issue. Good Luck it’s sounds like a huge headache.
One of my D12’s good friends parents were in the middle of a divorce her senior year. (It was supposedly one where both parties were still good friends.) But it totally threw D’s friend for loop & did influence her college search.
DD’s friend refused to look or research any schools, applied to a bunch of random schools either huge top state schools or large private research schools. (I think she was emotional on overload from school & the divorce.) When it was time to decide she did what they tell you NEVER to do, and accepted at two places. Telling Dad she accepted X school, and Mom she accepted Y. Dad was extremely proud she got into X school despite the fact that it wouldn’t have been a good fit, and Mom wanted her to go to Y school where she would be close to her the following year. (Mom was taking a sabbatical the next year.)
In the end D’s friend went neither place. Took a gap year, and moved with her mom for the year. Re-applied to a place with a better fit placed the next year and ended up at a top LAC where she seems to be very happy. J In the long run this young lady is happy where she is and both X & Y would have been a terrible fit. I’m sure the divorce really affected things.
@kt1969 , it might be a good idea to have a money meeting with you, child, and ex so everyone knows what to expect as far as money goes. If you are paying half and have a limit of $20k/yr and the schools are $60k, those schools aren’t going to work for you even if half ($30k) would work for your ex. It may take several of the ‘best ranked’ schools off the list.
If each of you has a maximum, take the lower amount, double it, and that’s the budget. If she can get more in scholarships, great, but if not then the more expensive schools are off the list even if they are ‘better.’
@twoinanddone We did have a meeting to talk about colleges and that’s where that came up. I’m sure we’ll have more in the future. The problem is that I CAN pay more if I have to, but it will negatively impact what I will have available for my younger child to go to college and for me in my retirement. Sigh.
Well, I think you should determine what you are willing to pay taking all your needs into consideration (retirement, other child, family’s choice of lifestyle) and that’s your budget. If it’s $20k, that’s what it is. If he’s willing to pay more, that’s on him and that means you are no longer paying 50/50, but you shouldn’t be pressured into paying more just because he can or wants to. Just be firm in what you will contribute.
If the situation was reversed and you could pay $20k and your ex only $10k, would you drop your contribution to $10k also? There is no way 10+ years ago when you divorced that you’d know what the 50/50 split would be, or what college would cost. Sometimes adjustments to the plan have to be made.
@kt1969 to me that means you CANNOT pay more. I’d check carefully (even if all is amiable at the moment) and see what your parenting plans says. In general most don’t put a cap on a 50/50 college payment agreement BUT most do say that parents have equal say in joint/major decisions and the budget piece of this falls under this category. One party cannot dictate to the other what that college should or could cost. Had my skids colleges fallen about what my H could do with stretching, he would have invoked that. While his ex has never followed what is stated there, it is enforceable and I can’t see a court (if it had to go there which I don’t think you have a fear of) agreeing that 50/50 means there is no cap. As @twoinanddone says, would you try to “force” your ex into paying more than they could? no because really, it’s not enforceable.
What you can do now is try to steer your D to applying ONLY to schools you know you can afford or that has guaranteed merit at her stats. That removes the question although it is easier said than done. How involved is ex in making the list? Can you have a budget conversation now?
I assume you’ve run the NPC’s, unless it is a PROFILE school they will only look at your finances if you file FAFSA at all. It will include your husband’s income as well (which is where I get crabby, seems to me if we have to count his income I should get to count SD14 as a student in college since we pay half but…that’s not how it works). If it is a PROFILE one that includes the NCP form, they will want everyone’s.
In theory I could pay more for S17 and assume that it will work out when S19 goes as there will be 2 years of overlap and depending on the school, our EFC may go down quite a bit and bank on SD14 being done by then and H being able to contribute a bit to S19’s fund but…that’s way too risky to S19 and I will not even entertain it.