Parents of the HS Class of 2017 (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
23721

@sdl0625

With our D16, we had a very bumpy college visit season, application season, and acceptance season. Really not fun.
She was not able to accept our financial limitations.

In hindsight, I think I was counting on the fact she’d come around and gracefully accept the budget, and essentially “agree” with us that the large merit packages she was being offered at OOS public flagships = incredible good fortune, not a punishment. This is a WONDERFUL opportunity, I’d say, hoping to convince her. Afterall, who doesn’t want a happy kid?

Nope. For her, it’s punishment and she is still, to a point, wallowing in “what could’ve been”.

We had the added complication of a summer romance that bloomed before she headed out of state to college, and that rubbed more salt in the wound. A lot can change over senior year and the summer following.

For us, it’s best we say less. We are not rah-rah about her school, although I’d love to let the school spirit fly. We keep our mouths shut, tell her how proud we are, and try to maintain healthy detachment.

You can let your spreadsheet with a budget and acceptances/rejctions speak & make the rules, and keep your own words & attachment to the outcomes to a minimum. Of course, it really depends on the kid. I was taken by surprise by how difficult it was going to be and how she was going to take it out on us. D13 was so easy.

Also, we did put a deposit down on housing, and a deposit down for Merit Weekend in the spring, all before officially committing to the school. You can take your time to make a final decision. By time April rolls around, not everyone in your kid’s social circle will be committing to prestigious, sexy schools. Keep your options open.

I hope that helps.

23722

Well I was supposed to go up to the mountains to meet some friends for skiing/snowboarding for the next couple of days, but it’s like the arctic tundra outside, and my kids EA results come out later today and tomorrow. So I’m sticking around here.
Went to the store earlier and met a nice girl and a dad who were wearing university apparel of a school my son is being recruited for and has applied to. The girl plays softball there and is in their biz program, and she said she loves it and is really happy so far with the school. The dad loves it, said daughter got a nice merit package that made it affordable and had nice things to say about the school too. So that was good to hear. Then when I got back to my car, my son texted me and told me the coach had texted him to check in and wish happy holidays. Weird timing!! I think my son would have a great time there and do well, and they are showing him the love, but I’m not sure if it’s the “dream” school for son17. I might have to resort to straight up cash bribery with him again, ha :wink:

23723

ED sabotage: When I was in grad school, you’d hear campus legends about business school students razoring required-reading journal articles out of library collections so that others wouldn’t be able to do the assigned work. That ranks up there with that. If I was the parent of a sabotaged child, that’s when it’s time for me to get involved directly and not leave it up to my child, I think—I know the system in ways my children don’t, and the system is being subverted in problematic ways. My first contact would be the high school, not the college, simply because the high school would be more likely to be seen as a neutral party by the college—but if they didn’t act fast to clear it up with the college, then I move to the next level.

Merit aid carrots and sticks: The interesting thing about cases like a couple of the ones we have now—most recently, George Mason, which is a good school, particularly for her areas of interest, but the initial merit offer is too low for us—is that some of them have the potential for really, really good merit aid down the line (in the form of a limited number of competitive scholarships), but there’s a catch: If my daughter is selected as a finalist for them, she has to fly to the campus for on-site interviews. This presents a problem, because flights to the east coast are a solid 8 or 9 hours each way plus however long she’d have to wait to change planes in Seattle or Minneapolis, not to mention the additional jetlag of a 4-hour time difference—and this is during the school year! I mean, I get why they want to see the kids on-site, but have they ever thought about how it disincentivizes geographic diversity? Not necessarily that big of an issue for a public like George Mason (since their primary purpose is to educate Virginians), but a solid number of privates do this. Not cool.

23724

@dfbdfb maybe your D could reach out to them at some point to see if she could skype the interview, noting the circumstances.
1 school that my son is applying to, sent an honors college app, and said that if students could not make it due to scheduling or traveling concerns that a video interview may suffice.

23725

@dfbdfb – the initials of my major were ILR, aka I Love Reading; we had a lot of reading assigned.

Reserve reading @ the ILR library was also described as ‘flip, rip’, for just the reason you outlined. Since prelims were all graded on a curve, the person who read the reserve reading and prevented others from doing so was then ahead of the curve.

23726

@dfbdfb Congrats to your D!

@jedwards70 Last weekend I drove my D to her opening night call for Nutcracker. It’s her 10th consecutive Nutcracker and I like to say that I can call her my special snowflake because she’s danced Snow for the past four seasons. It was a very bittersweet moment as she says this is her last Nutcracker. She still has several more shows; I know I will be crying full out when the show closes.

@paveyourpath If my kid was the target of such a cruel “prank” I would raise a huge fuss and complain to the high school authorities to discipline the instigator and resolve the issue.

@ACT2017 Congrats! One of my D’s friends is waiting to hear from UT Dallas, hopefully she will have good news as well!

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@sdl0625 Ditto previous comments. Just wanted to throw a plug in for Elon. In the event GM does not work out, and you have $40K to throw at college, Elon may fit the ‘bill’. My D loved it so much it was #1 on her list for a long time. It’s a little less expensive than other privates, although not a lot of merit, if any. If that happens to come through, then you could do a lot worse. Good luck!

@curiositycat333 Thanks for the correction! I was wondering!! =))

@ACT2017 Congrats! I loved UT-D, except for that freaky mascot, Comet. Scary.

23728

Ok that didn’t last long :))

Got an A in my history class by the skin of my teeth, but an A is an A. The final was brutal.

@RightCoaster wrote

As silly as it seems, I pay attention to stuff like that. I don’t necessarily make decisions based on serendipity, but I do…notice…when the universe throws pebbles at me.

I wish the woman that was fostering the dog I’m thinking about would call me back. Just putting THAT thought out into the universe :slight_smile:

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@MotherOfDragons – if she calls right NOW, you’re getting the dog, aren’t you!!!

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@MotherOfDragons You should name your new dog Pebbles. You know you’re gonna do it.

23731

Lol. Only if he’s a good fit for the family.

23732

@MotherOfDragons I pay attention to weird signs like that too. It was just so odd. I was trying to avoid thinking about colleg stuff today, so I go out shopping, and then I run into the girl with the nice things to say, and the coach calls. Just seems like weird timing, we’ll see.

Pebbles is a good name for that dog, or Serendipity ( but Pebbles is easier to shout). That lady is totally calling you back later.

23733

You can call them weird signs. I call them whispers from heaven. Can’t tell you how many times a prayer has been answered in a whisper. It seems coincidental on the surface and then later on I realize it was answered prayer.

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@mamaedefamilia …awww! You and YOU alone have earned the right to call your daughter “special snowflake!” sniff sniff. Enjoy that last performance!

23735

Ok, I couldn’t stand it.

Not only did the kid either forget that yesterday was decision day at UVM or, assumed it was a no and I wasn’t telling him. Either way he didn’t mention it. He didn’t even bite when he heard his little brother got an email from them yesterday.

He did not recieve any emails and I did find out that they did go out. Given the issues with the common app email bounce I called UVM. Sure enough S17’s email bounced again! 2 emails.

Grrr. Gave the gal an alternate email, she said she would send within 30 min. 3 hours later, no email. I call back. Get transferred. This guy resends immediately (and cc’s me) and puts a note in to update to the other email. And gives me his name and direct line if we have further issues.

Now we wait and see if the kid checks his email!

I like weird signs. I found it very interesting that S19 got an email on the same day, from the school S17 received his acceptance to.

23736

So for those of us not on the edge of our seats - what colleges are announcing decisions today?

I only know things about my kid’s colleges…

23737

Princeton started at 3pET

23738

George Mason’s today, but clearly not all at once—the EA thread on the GMU forum is awash with a mix of people who heard a while back and haven’t heard yet at all.

23739

Yale starts at 5pET

23740

My D is waiting until after her Calc final to check Princeton. She has more self control than I do - no I didn’t check.